Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns everything in the Twiverse.

Notes: Underlined passages in this chapter are from Twilight, pgs. 184, 190, and 274.

And MILLE GRAZIE to my Amazing BETA, CassandraLowery. You rock in every possible way!

Chapter Seven: Suspicion & Serenity

Edward's POV

I put my phone back in my pocket and closed my eyes. Bella fleeing from me again was the last thing I expected, the very last thing I wanted. I considered going after her–it would take me no time to follow her sweet scent through the halls–but I couldn't make myself move. All I could think was that I had miscalculated horribly, and no matter what I did, Bella would never want to be near me again.

As the next class began filing into the room, I slipped out the back door. As I passed a group of girls, freshman probably, their thoughts followed me as I walked down the hall. It was hard to not to be disturbed by their hyper-hormonal attention, but nothing I might have said or done at the moment would have been helpful. I supposed I couldn't blame them for being infatuated as such things were a normal part of teenage development. However, I did wish they'd find another object of obsession or at the very least diversify their vocabulary. Truly, I was anything but "hot." But unless they could tell me how to get my Bella back, I wasn't interested in anything they might have said.

I'm so sorry, Edward.

Alice's thoughts were coming from up ahead. She must have seen what happened with Bella in class. From her defeated tone, it seemed she was still taking these things personally, probably because I hadn't formally let her off the hook for Bella's party. I needed to do that sooner than later.

I think I might have made things worse. She's never looked at me like that before …

My head jerked up. "What?"

My sister was walking out of the ladies' room as the words left my mouth. "I saw Bella." She shook her head at my expression. "Not in my mind. I mean, here, rather, in there, a few minutes ago."

My kindness was waning. "And?"

"She ran from me. I tried to apologize, and she ran." Her lower lip looked as if it would quiver. "Why did she run, Edward? Did she think I would hurt her?"

I pulled Alice away from the hallway congestion and held her. This was as hard on her as anyone. "I'm sure that wasn't it."

"Then why? Does she hate me that much?"

"Bella could never hate you, Alice." Me? That's another story. "Maybe she just needs time, like Esme said." I wasn't sure I believed that, but for Alice's sake, I blocked the doubt from my mind.

"I hope so." Alice sniffed. "She's home now, gave the nurse some excuse about her stomach."

In Alice's mind, I saw Bella bent over in the nurse's office, holding her midsection. If it was a lie, it was her best one ever. Maybe I shouldn't have come today...

"I've gotta get to class." She tried to smile as she squeezed my hand. "See you in Physics?"

I nodded then dragged myself down the hall to English. The last thing I wanted to do was dissect the mistakes and machinations of the impetuous Romeo and Juliet. Their lives were bearing too much similarity to mine: insurmountable obstacles, undeniable passion, and a bleak future.

But I wasn't going to follow Bella, and I couldn't bear to go home without knowing where we stood. So I might as well go to class. Maybe I would take notes in her absence and someday soon be able to share them with her, her delicate finger tracing the elaborate swirls and swoops of my penmanship. With that prayer on my lips, I continued through the gray door toward the Languages Building.

When I walked into class, the scattered chatter came almost to a stop. Eyes darted between me and the empty table where Bella and I usually sat, then around the room with raised eyebrows and suspicious smirks. If their facial expressions weren't clear enough, their inability to whisper made up for it.

"See, I told you they wouldn't arrive together."

"You saw how she looked this morning, and now he's walking in alone?"

"I saw Bella leave the building like ten minutes ago. I think she went home."

"There is definitely trouble in paradise."

"I bet it's all her fault. That stupid girl doesn't know what a good thing she's got."

I paused as I walked to glare at the last speaker. Lauren's face fell and she almost looked ashamed until she decided to take advantage of my attention. "Hi, Edward!" Her voice made my hardened skin crawl. "Since Bella doesn't seem to be coming today, maybe you could…."

"Bella's not feeling well," I growled.

"Oh." Her tanned skin went white, more so at my tone than the news. "I…I'm…I hope she feels better." I turned from her and headed to the back of the room, sliding into my chair without a sound. My outburst may have stopped the verbal gossip, but their collective minds were reeling with the scandalous possibilities.

Wow… looks like she hit a nerve.

Lauren is such a snake. At least I'll wait until they're officially apart to hit on him.

So something really is wrong between them. Wonder if I can finally get my shot with her.

Damn, he's even sexier when he's angry.

I hope Bella doesn't have that stomach flu that's going around. I'll call her tonight to see how she's feeling. Then again, if she's sick, she may not feel like talking. I'll just send her positive vibes from here.

Without having to guess, I recognized that kind mind that belonged to someone who actually cared about Bella. I was glad she had such a friend in Angela Weber and hoped that Ben character appreciated her.

Class soon came to order, and my concern for Bella was shelved so I could focus on being her secretary.

Twenty minutes into the period, the school secretary interrupted our class and whispered something to Mr. Varner. He exclaimed, "My pipes!" and told us to read the rest of Act II in preparation for a quiz on Monday then bolted out the door. As I heard his mind fretting over the sixties albums he might have lost in the sudden flooding in his basement, Mrs. Robinson admonished us "not to even think about leaving the room until the bell rung."

No sooner had the adults left the room than the Forks High version of classroom chaos ensued. Playing cards, iPods, and fashion magazines were retrieved from bookbags, all thoughts about the Capulets and Montagues forgotten. My troubles with Bella were also back-burnered. To everyone but me, that is.

I pulled out the bottle cap I'd saved from the lemonade she drank during our first lunch last year. Back then, I'd wondered if I was making a mistake, if I should leave her alone instead of engorging myself on her seductive presence. But after that first day in Biology, her beauty and silent mind bewitched me, and I knew I would never be able to stay away from her. She had wanted to be near me then even when I was being mean. Now she couldn't stand me for more than forty-minute intervals at a time, and our encounters always ended with me staring at her fleeing frame. What was I doing wrong?

I hadn't even realized that I'd been spinning the bottle cap until it slipped off the table. Wow, I can't remember the last time I dropped anything.

I was leaning to pick it up when I saw Angela Weber kneeling next to my desk.

"Here." Her smile was as sympathetic as her thoughts, so I started reciting the Declaration of Independence to stay out of her head.

I opened my hand with a smile. "Thanks." Her eyes unfocused for a moment, and I heard Bella's teasing in my head. "Stop dazzling people like that. It's rude." I turned down the wattage on my gaze and turned the bottle cap over in my hand.

"Lucky charm?"

"Something like that." The bittersweet memory of my angel's voice was weighing me down. "Would you like to sit?"

"If you're sure you don't mind the company." I nodded and she took a seat. Bella's seat. I sighed in spite of myself and concern creased her face. "What's wrong with Bella?"

She'd split me open with her first question, but I fought off my pain. "Stomachache."

My hand continued to play with the cap, and Angela lowered her voice. "It's more than that, isn't it?" Her compassion was so sincere that I couldn't help but nod. "I thought so. You guys are so in love that it's pretty obvious when something's wrong." She paused. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Did I? I never talked to outsiders about my problems for obvious reasons, so I prepared to say no.

But as I sat there, steeping in my confusion about how to get Bella back, or at least stop her from running away, I realized I needed all the help I could get. I angled my seat toward Angela and ignored the thoughts and stares of the half-dozen people who noticed.

"Bella thinks I don't respect her."

The genuine shock on Angela's face was touching. "Why would she think that?"

I rubbed the cap between my fingers. "She says I don't let her make her own choices."

"Do you?"

"I do. Unless she's making the wrong ones."

Angela chuckled. "That's such a dumb, male response."

"Well, she also thinks I'm a dumb male, so on that point, she might be right."

She blushed scarlet. "I didn't mean you were…well, maybe you are just as dumb as the rest of them." Then her tone became thoughtful. "Why do you think Bella's choices are wrong?"

I spun the cap again as I edited the truth. "Not all of her choices are wrong. Just the ones that revolve around me."

"Like her choice to be with you?"

"For starters."

"Do you wish she would choose someone else?"

"No." My tone was sharper than I'd intended, and it startled her. "I'm sorry. Just the thought of that is…unbearable."

She shrugged. "Maybe you should remember that."

"Remember what?"

"When you start to believe Bella's choices about you are wrong, remember how it feels to imagine her with someone else."

My voice dropped. "But what if being with someone else would be better for her?"

I don't see how that could be possible. The thought was so strong that it broke through my mental recitation of the charges against King George III. Aloud she said, "You don't really believe that, do you? You and Bella seem made for each other."

"Sometimes I do." My words came quickly as the root of my dilemma spilled out. "I love Bella more than my own life. It scares me beyond death to think she might miss out on something bigger and better because she chose to love me. She's so stubborn and fearless that when I try to slow her down or get her to think things through, she won't listen. And because I benefit from her decisions, my protests don't seem sincere even though I mean them with every fiber of my being. So even though I want her with me and cannot imagine my life without her, I keep wishing she would choose differently for her sake."

Angela's brow furrowed, and I was certain my confession had made absolutely no sense. I should have known that a human unacquainted with the peculiarities of our situation wouldn't understand.

Then abruptly her face relaxed and she turned back to me. "I don't know what you're so afraid of, but the answer is simple. Embrace what scares you. It's what brought you and Bella together in the first place."

I couldn't follow her logic. "What do you mean?"

"I think Bella's unique perspective allowed her to feel comfortable in your world and maybe..."

"My world?" I hated interrupting, but I had to quell the fear that hit my chest.

"Yeah." She lowered her voice again. "I would never have brought this up because I didn't want you to feel self-conscious. But before Bella got here, you seemed to live in a secretive, sad world with just your siblings. Maybe it was being adopted and feeling like no one else would understand or something. But suddenly Bella arrives; you open up and she walks right in. So there must have been something inside her that thought your private world wasn't so…I don't know…remote and scary. And instead of fearing her fearlessness, maybe you should be grateful for it because that's what allowed her to love you."

I stilled the bottle cap against the table. For all the noise in the room, all I heard was Bella's voice on that fateful night we sped away from Port Angeles.

"It doesn't matter to me what you are."

I had tried to warn her, scare her even.

And a second time, she'd said. "I told you, it doesn't matter what you are. It's too late."

I had been so focused on trying to control my own desires that I never really heard what she was saying. She had already done her homework, weighed her opinions, and made her decision. It wouldn't have mattered what I had told her...because she was already caught, already as ensnared by me as I was by her. She, without fully understanding what it entailed, had made her choice. For better, for worse, forever.

And then … in the meadow. The first time I saw her in that soft beige sweater she'd worn today.

"I'm here … which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you."

Again, I tried to dismiss her declaration as sappy, uninformed, and subject to reversal the moment reality hit her.

But she hadn't stuttered or faltered. Not then and not since. Not after she realized that I was a vampire. Not after James tried to kill her. Not even after my family and I tried to kill her.

I had been looking at this entire situation the wrong way.

With everything we'd been through, Bella's love had never wavered. Her resolve had not changed. Her love for me was as stubborn and fearless as she was.

I needed to respect that.

But my actions had convinced her that my love had changed. That I didn't love her as much as I said.

I needed to correct that.

And if I just could do those two things.…

A new day seemed to be dawning in my dead heart, and for the first time since Bella cut her finger, I felt a surging hope that all was not lost, that somehow, against all reason and mathematical probabilities, Bella and I would find our way back to each other.

All of these thoughts passed through my mind in less than five seconds, but for fear of stunning Angela again, I took the time to quiet my eyes. I looked over at the sweet, thoughtful girl who had saved me from drowning. "Thank you. You have no idea how your words have helped me."

Despite my efforts not to dazzle, her breathing became shallow, her eyes wide and unblinking. I looked away, and she seemed to restart herself. "Oh, you're welcome." She waved me off. "I'm sure things will work out with you and Bella."

"Me too," I said and meant it.

The bell rang, and Angela got up to grab her things from her table. "And hey, if you ever forget what to do, just remember the Serenity Prayer. That's what I do when I get confused."

As Angela went back to her desk and the rest of the class tittered with curiosity about our conversation, I recalled the prayer from a seemingly out-of-place pillow in Carlisle's office.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That sacred wish became my new plan, my determined purpose, my sole priority. And no matter what I had to do or how long it might take, I was going to get my Bella back.

Okay, okay … I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Where the &%$# is the confrontation with Rosalie?" It's the next chapter, I promise. Even if that disappoints you, I hope you see that this chapter wasn't just a way to prolong the suspense. Edward needed to talk to Angela, and Bella will be glad he did.

What do you think? Only one way to tell me … :)