Black Velvet
Chapter 23- Aftermath and Debris
R-M
ps. There will be errors guys. It's not professionally editted.
oOo Bonnie oOo
I'm sitting in my office Thursday morning. It had been five days since I'd spoken to Damon. The break up hadn't left my mind. The words spoken, the secrets withheld. The trust lost. My mind kept replaying everything, over and over. Our break up was my favorite broken record. I listened to it in my head, forcing myself to get over it. I truly am a masochist, in every sense of the word. I guess I can thank Damon for being able to admit that to myself. Must be the psychologist in him, that unknowingly trained himself, to train the people in his life. He's better than I thought. I replay the last sexual encounter in my head. The bathroom, at the dinning hall, of Kat and Lijah's engagement announcement. Damon was so anxious and stressed. When he whooped me, with his belt, I knew it made him feel better. And while I wasn't complaining, I knew, that his controlling me, was what sated him that afternoon. I don't know, if my love sated him. I don't know if my loyalty sated him. I don't know, if my love for him, sated him. But his punishing me, sated him. And that's probably what's been on my mind the most since that day. Me, not knowing if I was a significant force of need to him. But more or so, what he could do to me. What if he never loved me? What if he just loved the control?
Everything has been a mind fuck with Damon since day one. I'm not even sure what's real, and what was an illusion. And because of this, I lost a mirage of my would-be future. And I have to move on, as if it never happened, because after all, that's what a mirage is, right? Make believe.
Why didn't divorcing Kol, feel as painful as ending things with Damon?
...
Kat walked into Bonnie's office, and loomed over the doorway. Bonnie was twinkling her fingers quickly through the keyboard, inputting some finalized submissions of reviews. She was so focused she couldn't see Kat standing there watching her. Either that, or she was pretending to be so hard at work to avoid her friends, sympathetic gaze.
Without looking up, flinching, or even pausing, she spoke. "May I help you Mrs. Soon-to-be Mikaelson?"
"How are you doing kiddo?"
"Good. Just submitting these final reviews. I've got some things to do after work. Davina has called out all week." Bonnie said softly. "But, its good, because I've been busier. I probably shouldn't have an assistant anyways."
"Why not? You run a business. You need the extra help."
"But are you listening? I've been busy."
"Yes I'm listening. I just don't want you to think, it's not okay to lean on someone. Even an assistant, if you have to."
Bonnie gave a sympathetic grin. "I hear you. Just know I have to keep myself busy, like I did before Davina did my errands, and before Damon took up my free time. I'm going to finish my work here. And when I'm done, I'm going to head home early, so I can have that PI meet me and pick up all of the hidden equipment he found in my house. I've already taken the stuff from here home yesterday."
"Is he investigating that creeped out fuck, Kol?"
"Um, he's going to look at the footage, see how far it dates back. He will figure out where the spyware came from. Because apparently, it's not one that is sold on the market."
"I'm so disgusted. I took him out of the wedding."
"Thank you Kat. I appreciate that. I can't be around him."
"How dare he fucking, fuck with MY BEST FRIEND, and assume he'd still be apart of this wedding? Fuck the fact that he's Elijah's brother! He's demented, and problematic. And if he comes anywhere within a certain amount of feet near you, I'm going to kick his fucking ass!"
"What would I do without you? I swear I thought I was rid of him for good. But, you kicking him out of the wedding, means a lot to me, Kat."
"Of course. His got damn family might baby him, but that shit ain't going to fly in my wedding day. He wont be torturing you on my watch. Besides, I sent his suit back already."
"Wow. Was Elijah angry?"
"No. Elijah understood. But his whole family is questioning Kol's removal from the wedding. And Elijah said he feels like it's going to be World War III with Esther."
"Esther... ugh. She, babies him worse than anyone. Her little baby boy does no wrong."
"Well, she can kiss my ass, if she gives me shit about it."
"I think I owe you an amazing bachelorette party." Bonnie smiled.
"Oh, yes. I have permission to have a one night-stand. So, we're doing it big!" Katherine exclaimed.
"I'm not even going to comment." Bonnie laughed.
"Hey... you know my last night as a single woman, and I am just happy you'll be there."
Bonnie nodded her head in approval. "Of course. Where else would I be? I'm not exactly Ms. Popular these days."
"I know. I've rubbed off on you so much." Kat said, not so regretfully. "Sorry, not sorry. Just means I don't have to worry about anyone else calling my best friend their best friend."
"That's such an absurd truth." Bonnie said. "So, who will be taking that asshole's place walking down the isle?"
"Uhh, don't shoot me, for this... but Stefan."
"Wow." Bonnie grinned. "Is that smart, Stefan and Elena walking down the isle at your wedding? I mean, she wanted him to propose, you don't think it'll be triggering?"
"Pft, no." Kat laughed. "She's so sprung on Tyler's dick, she may not even remember she and Stefan were a thing." Katherine loved teasing her lost in love sister. "But, I mean... Damon is still Elijah's best man, and your my maid of honor, so, if you want I can let you walk with Stefan and have Damon walk with Elena."
"I'm fine, Kat. It's fine. He's just Damon. Another guy."
"He's not just another guy. He's, the love of your-"
"NO. Don't say that. He was a rebound. Helped me to bounce back after Kol. And, I can walk down the isle with Damon. It's not like he and I are getting married." Her best friend walked towards her desk, and sat on the side of it leaning backwards towards Bonnie. "I'm okay, Kat. I promise." She lied.
"Sure."
"What? I am. In fact, the whole Damon thing, helped me to find confidence to get back out there and date."
"Nope. I wouldn't recommend it."
"Why?"
"Because, after what you and Damon shared, you won't be able to date a regular guy after that. It'll feel too vanilla for you." Bonnie shook her head disagreeing.
"Listen, I'm not saying I'm going to date tomorrow. But listen, I was married for ten years. Then I had a serious eight month relationship ship that was... of a particular nature. I'm sure my heart just wants companionship. It's not worried about anything in particular."
Katherine knew her best friend. She knew she wouldn't be satisfied in a vanilla relationship. She also, believed, Bonnie wouldn't be able to touch another man, after Damon. They stare at one another for a few seconds. Kat trying to read Bonnie's face, and Bonnie trying to keep from being read. "What?"
"Nothing. Just, trying to figure out why you are pretending with me, that what Damon did hasn't affected you. Bon Bon, it was wrong. HE WAS WRONG! I tried to call him yesterday, and-"
"Kat, don't. Stop fighting my battles for me. I can handle break ups and divorces without you threatening the men in my life for hurting me."
"So, he did hurt you?" Kat caught Bonnie as she admitted her pain unknowingly.
"I- uh-" Bonnie tapped her forehead with her fingers, and shook her head. "Kat, you know that I cared for Damon. But, I have to move on. I promise I'm okay. I can be at the wedding, I can be around Damon, and I will be fine."
"Really?" Kat asked unconvinced.
"Really." Bonnie said convincingly.
"So... You could agree to meet with us tonight at the cabin still? It's card night, and you promised to help me with the seating arrangement for the reception." Bonnie was taken aback. She'd assumed card night was cancelled, but she had to remember, that Kat and Lijah both relied on Damon and Bonnie as sanity in their once a week card nights. The wedding planning was getting them, and they were arguing everyday over it.
Bonnie looked at her best friend, who tilted her head waiting for an answer. "Uhh, yeah. Pft! It's cards." Bonnie said casually. "It's not like he and I have to be a couple during card nights." Let alone talk, she thought. "Besides, Elijah needs me to take you off his hands a few hours." How long could she put on this brave face, for everyone. "Okay, Kat. I'll be there."
xXx
Bonnie, drove twenty miles over the speed limit. She'd promised to be with Lily at four pm today, and she ended up being held up with the PI after work. He wasn't investigating Kol on a daily basis, but he was investigating what Kol had done, because it was illegal. And even though, Bonnie could get him on the legalities, she needed to protect those images for Damon's sake. She may have been angry with him, but she didn't want Kol to take everything from him. So, she needed to find out how he got the specialized software into her house. He's not tech savvy, which means he wasn't working alone. Bonnie wanted to play her cards right, and formulate her own plans, to keep Kol from taking everything from her, and to keep him from ruining Damon.
When she arrived into the parking lot, she parked in the first place she could find. Without paying attention, it was a handicapped spot. She got out of her car and ran into the building which wouldn't be letting anyone else in after five. She ran to the front desk, got her visitors pass, and hurried up the elevator. Almost out of breath, she jogged in her heels down the hall to Lily's room. "Wheeew!" She gasped. "I'm... soooo, soorrrry..." she paused catching her breath "...that I'm late. I lost track of time."
Lily looked up, and over to Bonnie, smiling. "You made it. I hope you didn't speed."
"I may or may not be able to attest to that." Bonnie huffed walking in and sitting on the chair next to Lily's bed.
"I told you, that, you didn't have to come to my chemo every week."
"I honestly don't mind." Bonnie hated that Lily did chemo every week alone. She moved to LA a couple of months back, because she was referred to one of the best treatment specialists. Her sons both worked beyond four in the afternoon. Sarah worked, and then had the kids after that. Bonnie left work every Thursday at three-thirty to be there with Lily. Which is why Damon referred to Bonnie as having been spending so much time with Lily lately. "You look gorgeous." Bonnie smiled, whisking hair out of Lily's face.
"For now. Then, they will take my hair, and I will be, a distant memory of the woman I once was."
"Don't say that. You will always be beautiful. And it's only a matter of time before you kick this cancer in the ass."
"Stage four Bonnie. I know my fate. I just, wanted more time with my boys and their families." Her hand reached out for Bonnie's, and gripped it. "Thank you for, allowing me to be apart of your life." Bonnie nodded her head. "I know, my son is still angry with me. And you didn't have to take me into your life the way you did. And, thank you, for listening to my old stories and telling me yours." Lily spoke sympathetically.
"Of course, Lily. I mean, our friendship, doesn't have to be dictated by yours and Damon's. I have really come to appreciate you. You've been such a safe sounding board, and such a wonderful part of my life."
"You are so sweet. I love that about you. You're just, open-hearted. My son, is lucky to have you." Bonnie didn't have it in her heart to tell her about the break up. They had a good relationship without Damon, and Bonnie didn't want to concern Lily with the technicalities of she and Damon's complicated relationship. "I know he's complicated. And things may be beautiful now, but one day they will get difficult. I know this, because I know my son. He's complicated. Just know, you are the only person, who I've ever seen him open up to. Let alone someone he loves so deeply. Please, just promise me, when the times get hard, don't give up on him, the way I did."
Bonnie smiled, without making a notion to anything in particular, because she didn't have the heart to dampen Lily's mood. So, she said the only thing she could.
"He's a good man." She smiled, watching Lily smile back at her, while feeling a little perky today. "Oh, by the way, the dress was a hit at the engagement announcement Saturday. I got a lot of compliments on it."
"Good. Because I'd only worn that dress for my twenty-first birthday. The boy's father bought it for me. Damon was very young when I wore it, so he wouldn't remember it."
"No, he said he remembered it from pictures and how beautiful he remembers it looking on you."
"Really he was only about three or four years old. Well it's a good thing I wore it only once. They say, you only wear a beautiful dress once. So, you never add memories to it, besides the one you made the day you wore it."
"Yeah. Anyways, I had it taken to the dry cleaners. But I'll probably never wear it again. It was a day I'll never forget." Bonnie said. The day didn't end so well.
"No, don't follow that stupid rule. He spent all that money on that dress for me, to wear it once. Such a waste of damn money. The stupid things we women do, by having rules for our expensive clothes. The truth is, if you love something wear the hell out of it. That's the rule."
"Deal." Bonnie laughed. The two women sat there talking for the next few hours. About everything. Their conversations had no limitations. But today, Bonnie rarely mentioned Damon. It wouldn't be fair, to flaunt a lie, that she was already perpetrating in order to keep Lily from stressing over Damon. Her guilt did enough eating a way at her. That is why Bonnie was a blessing to her, because she didn't judge Lily.
xXx
Katherine stood in the kitchen of Damon's cabin pouring chips in a bowl, along with salsa in a separate bowl. She wasn't one for cooking or baking, so she bought a tray of veggies, with assorted deli sliced meats and cheeses. Bonnie usually prepared their card night food. But somehow she was running late. She'd gone to Lily's chemo session. Then went home and took a long bath. Soaking for some time tempted to masturbate. It had been five days. Her body was used to a certain lever of sexual activity by now. After eight months, she was addicted to him.
But when she put her fingers between her legs, nothing was happening. She tried for half an hour, and nothing. Her anger forced her out of the bathtub, into a robe, and sitting on her bed staring blankly at a wall for more time than she could even remember, because by the time she came to, it was eight.
Card night started at eight. She jumped up and had no time to get ready. Her hair, was put in two French braids, and she wore yoga pants, and an off the shoulder sweater. She put on her favorite pair of cross trainers and lip gloss, and mascara, to cover up the puffiness under her eyes from the crying she did after she parted ways with Lily today.
Kat realized, she needed some lessons in food preparation. "Gee, how does Bonnie always get the food so decorative?" She tossed all of the cheese in a small bowl, so she didn't have to lay them out. "Ah well, it's just card night, right?"
"Kitten, Damon stepped out to grab some wood for the fireplace."
"It's April."
"It's supposed to rain tonight."
"Oh, that's right. April showers bring May flowers." Katherine looked at her Rose Gold Rolex with the diamond bezel Elijah had gotten her for her birthday months ago. "Forty-five minutes. Wow!"
"Traffic leaving the city muffin."
"Yeah, but she said she'd be here."
"Call her to make sure she's okay." Elijah reminded her.
Kat rolled her eyes, sighing. "Why do I get this feeling, she's not coming?"
Her fiancé, chuckled at her impatience. "Doll, give her a chance. And be sensitive to her situation."
"I'm sensitive to what happened. I even unfriended Damon on Instagram."
Elijah looked puzzled tossing celery into his mouth in disbelief. "Damon has Instagram?"
"He got one, at Christmas when we went to Alaska, and they went to Big Bear. He only posts pictures of Bonnie when she's not looking. And weird stuff like, the art work he deals, glasses of bourbon, and wolf memes." Elijah actually took to the last one and laughed.
"Wolves? Huhhhhhh. Makes sense."
"Why?"
"It's a Dominant thing. Think about it. And Alpha-wolf/Alpha male. Wolves are a dominant species, love."
"I get it. Wow, you two are weird." She admitted, wanting to laugh a bit. But the cabin door caught her attention when a shadow moved towards the porch light, standing at the window. A small knock sounded. The small stature of a woman with a bun on her hair barely reached the top of the window. "And here she is. Fifty-six minutes late." Kat walked to the door with a swing in her hips, and her hair in a ponytail. When she opened it, Bonnie was standing with wine, and a container of homemade, spicy guacamole. And another container with a mixture of red, purple, and white grapes. "Oh God, thank you. Is that homemade guac?"
"A duhh. You know I don't do store bought." Bonnie spoke sarcastically.
"Well, I bought some salsa in a jar, type shit, and it isn't as pretty as the one you make. But... it's a little addicting with chips. I can't stop eating it."
"Of course." Bonnie grinned, staring awkwardly at Kat. "Well, are you going to let me in?"
"Oh, shit, yes. Come on." Kat walked Bonnie to the kitchen, which had a lowered counter that over looked the dinning room, where they played cards. Bonnie set her spread out, and looked at Kat's tray.
"Bless your heart boo. This is progress. There was a time, you just left everything in the package and set it out." Bonnie laughed, making Kat laugh. "But, this... you see this Lijah. You have changed this woman. She set out a spread for you. She put her famous store bought salsa in a bowl for you, as opposed to making people dip from the jar. Which she was famous for, before you." Elijah roped her in his arms, and for once, cracked the most genuine, doting smile, which almost sounded like laughter. Elijah rarely laughed.
"I'd like to think, I may have had some effect on her. Granted, her jar salsa, double-dipping habits, will go down in history."
"Hey, I won you over, still." The two of them had come so far in the past fourteen months. Bonnie adored the relationship they had. And watching them overcome Kat cheating, and Elijah's lost of trust in her. She watched them battle a challenging hump in the road of their relationship, and over come it, and love each other, even harder.
Then she thought to she and Kol, and how that didn't happen for them. And she and Damon, and how it didn't happen for them. And maybe, relationships weren't for Bonnie. Maybe, she was better at being the success-driven woman. Maybe it why she couldn't get pregnant.
Her eyes got lost on the couple's natural flirting, and humor with one another. And she smiled too, being happy for them. She'd almost forgot about her awful love life, until... the cabin door opened.
In he walked with two pieces of wood, and a third falling from his grip. Bonnie's head turned to the side, facing the door, accidentally making eye contact with him. She held her breath, unsure of what to say or do. But she felt his emotion and their connection. She was intimidated, by the deep love she still had for him. But fearful of how deep he allowed them to fall before coming clean to her. She couldn't breath for the seconds that his eyes trapped hers, like the natural predator he was.
But the falling wood broke their direct eye contact. In fact, everyone stopped their motions and turned to the doorway.
"I should help, kitten."
"But what if I don't want to let you go?"
"Then, I guess I'll take you with me, and we can both help out." Kat let him go quickly.
"Oh, yeah. No. I don't do wood."
"I wouldn't be too sure about that." Bonnie teased.
"Bon? You're mind is in the gutter. That's usually my job." Kat joked. When Elijah left the room, Bonnie whispered to her.
"Girl. I'm dying."
"What? Damon... too soon?"
"No, sex. I'm horny. It's been a rough week, and nothing's worked."
"Bon, that's not good. What about the bullet I bought you?"
"Damon trashed it. A while back."
"Oh, crap. Well... we can go toy shopping soon. I don't mind. And Elijah doesn't ban me from toys."
"Yeah, well. Elijah wasn't known for being the King of torture." Bonnie said.
"But, he is definitely the king of kink. So, I have a finger up my ass almost everyday, and we do a lot of him watching me play with myself. And don't forget, once in a while we watch each other fuck other people."
Bonnie shook her head, in disagreement. "Yeah, I never got that. I could never watch Damon with anyone else. And vice versa."
"Never say never."
"Never."
"Yeah, well... I can only hope you and Damon can work this out Bon. I'm angry at him. And I know you are. But, I believe you, when you told me he said he was trying to protect you."
"Kat, it doesn't matter. He lied, for a long time. And he used my piece-of-shit ex, to manipulate me."
"Bon, no-"
"Yes. As much as I hate Kol, it was unfair of Damon to do. The psychological advantage he had, that...makes it worse." Bonnie caught herself feeling her emotions again, tears weld up in the corners of her eyes, and she paused feeling her nose begin to tickle from within at the thought of everything, and wanting to cry. But, she couldn't let them see. "Uhh, excuse me a sec, okay." She quickly walked around the kitchen and dining room and back down the long hallway to the bathroom. Damon noticed her walk passed him, and he thought to check on her. But he saw Kat moving quickly behind her.
"Bon... Bon?" She called out knocking on the door. "Please let me in. Bonnie." Bonnie opened the door, allowing Kat's passage. "Hey, we don't have to discuss seating arrangements tonight. Let's save it for tomorrow."
"Thought you don't have any time this week to do it."
"I don't but, I can reschedule something... a phone conference maybe?"
"No. I'm fine. I just needed a minute. I'm fine. Let's go back in there. Or he'll think I'm affected. I don't want him having that type of power over me."
"I get it. You're a bad ass bitch. I'm all about being strong. Whatever I need to do to help, let me know."
"I'm good. Let's go redo these veggie trays." Kat grabbed Bonnie's arm, pulls her backwards. "What?" She asked confused.
"Nothing. Just wanted to hug you." She wrapped her long spider like arms around her short friend and hugged her kissing the top of her head like a mama bear. "What am I gonna do with you?"
"Without me? You'd have no female friends."
"Facts." They laughed. "It's a fucking shame."
"No. I'd don't have very many either. We're a fucking mess."
...
The group played cards through the awkward reunion of Bonnie and Damon. Eventually they pushed through it and ended up dealing with one another, as regular people. Façade or not, the night was going smooth for a couple of hours. But Bonnie made it a point to talk at the group, or around Damon and not directly to him. "Well, we ran out of Salsa, and guacamole. So, I think that's sign to call it a night."
"Pft. Bon, I think I need another glass of wine." Drunken Katherine said. "I'm having some good luck tonight. Taking everyone's money." Then childishly, she stuck her nose out at everyone.
"Well, I for one can't have another drink, because I'm driving."
"Bonnie, I can always give you a ride home. As a friend." Damon suggested.
"Yeah, that's okay." She shook her head brushing him off. She'd been doing that all night.
"Bon, it's not a big deal. You want me to call Gino?"
"Damon!" She raised her voice shockingly. "I don't need anything from you."
The whole group was silenced, until the monotony of tension was broken by the ringing of Bonnie's phone. Damon licked his lips, sitting up, feeling frustrated. He hadn't spoken to her in days. Not a text, a hello, nothing. He was losing his mind slowly. But he knew he brought it on by lying, so he gave her space. But Bonnie wanted nothing to do with him still. She looked at her phone, and stood up, walking outside.
"Sorry, I need to take this." She walked out of the room. "Hello. Yes, hi... Already? Oh, that's great..." they all sat in silence as she walked out, not knowing what to say with each other. And all Damon could focus on was how the only person whoever called Bonnie after ten o'clock at night in the past was Kat. So who the hell could that have been calling? He wondered. But when the door closed, Kat spoke first.
"Damon, she needs time."
"I haven't done anything all night. I just offered a ride."
"Yeah, but not having spoken in five days, and that's the first thing you say?"
"What can I do? She fucking hates me. This is hard on me too Kat. But what can I do, if she can't even accept me protecting her?"
"I don't know, Damon. Send her reminder of how much you love her and why. Offer a compromise, to meet her halfway somewhere. Listen to her, I mean really listen. Act like a man who fucked up, and can't live without her."
"I can't. I begged her the day she walked away from me. I apologized. I can't crowd her space. Crowding her, will push her further away."
"Give me a break with the clinical shit. She's not a client Damon. She's your girlfriend-"
"Was! My girlfriend. Past tense."
"Whatever. Treat her like a woman, you knew from the inside out. Maybe it's ingrained in you, to do everything by the book, like the psychologist. But, she needs to see, that it wasn't all just words with you. Remind her that it was real... Unless, it wasn't real."
"Kat, you're friend, also has communication issues. It's not just me-"
"You fucking lied to her! You took an emotionally vulnerable woman, and took advantage. Maybe it was real. Hell, I believe you love her. But you took advantage of the situation."
"It wasn't intentional!" Damon yelled back, and the two of them were going back and forth yelling, until Elijah broke it up.
"Enough. Okay. Let's all take a deep breath. Bonnie is outside. This is going to make her uncomfortable if she hears it. You can't do this."
But Kat wanted no parts of Elijah's warnings. Because she didn't stop there. "I vouched for you! I introduced you to my best friend, Damon. I was rooting for you. Hell, I was your fucking wingman for eight months, with her." She said pointing her finger at him from across the table. She had on a slinky white tank, and blue jeans, standing up, as casually as ever. Because she didn't really do casual. She was always fitted in some name brand expensive clothes. But today, she was in a different headspace than normal, from wedding planning. So, her frustrations about the wedding and Kol and Andie, and Damon... all came out on him, when she glared at him with an angry face. "You need to fix this." She spoke her last words as Bonnie was walking back inside. Everyone adjusted themselves, into their seats again.
"Hey, why does it feel so tense in here?"
"Uh... Damon's a soar loser. He lost to me, so... he owes me. BIG TIME." She insinuated.
"Oh. Well, sorry about that. It was the PI I hired. He may have a lead."
"PI?"
"You hired a PI, for Kol?" Damon asked.
"Uh, no. I didn't. I hired a PI to track the software from the hack job done on my computers. And the cameras implanted into my house, which were connected to my computers, and sending him footage. There's a source to the invasion. Kol, didn't work alone."
"Bonnie dear, again, I apologize for my brother's behavior. It is terribly embarrassing. You know, I prefer to stay neutral. Because, the more people involved the messier it is. But I support you doing what you have to do, to get to the bottom of things."
"Thanks, Elijah, it means a lot. And I would never think to put you in the middle of this. So, I'm sorry it's probably awkward for you."
"More embarrassing than anything."
"Anyways, this guy comes highly recommended. So, I'm meeting with him tomorrow for dinner to get the Intel. Wish me luck. This can help me save my half of the business. Any discrepancy or illegal activity that I have on record against him, will work in my favor."
"That's fucking great Bonnie. I'm so angry he's trying to mess with the business. Stick it to that asshole. No offense Baby." Elijah generally didn't comment, back to Katherine's rude remarks, unless she was being inhospitable.
"Dinner huh?" Damon asked, catching them all off guard.
"Excuse me?" She asked
"What kind of PI discusses business over dinner. They're usually more discreet. Dinner, is kind of insinuative isn't it?"
"Of what? A date? You can't be serious." She laughed. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that." He was transparent, and she wasn't here for a fight. She shook her head, and stood fifteen feet away from where he sat glaring at her. Damon angrily stood up knocking his chair over. His temple started to throb, because he realized he had no control over anything when it came to her anymore.
"I'm going to grab another piece of wood. I'll-uhh I'll be back." He walked out of the cabin like a furious calm storm, walking past her, without making anymore eye contact.
Bonnie looked at the engaged happy couple, realizing she couldn't pretend anymore. Sitting next to this man, acting like nothing happened, trying to be normal was a façade she couldn't put up anymore. "This... was a bad idea. I should go."
"Bonnie, I can go with you-"
"No, Kat. It's okay. I have a head ache, and it's for the best. I'll see you at work tomorrow." She hugged them both before leaving. As she grabbed her purse, she waived bye, heading out of the front door. She felt the wind pick up and the clouds were settling into the middle of the sky. Bonnie hurried to her car, but he yelled out to her when he saw her leaving.
"Hey." She continued without stopping, forcing him to run to her. His hand gripped her arm hard stopping her. "Why are you leaving?"
"We both know why."
"I didn't mean to question you in there. Just... been going crazy without you."
"Damon, I have to go." She knew she could stay with him forever, but she couldn't forget what happened. She could hardly be in his presence without wanting to break down and cry. She was tensing up as he drew closer to her. Because she knew she was weak when it came to him.
"You're uptight. And angry." He spoke into her personal space. "You've been all night." His body trapped hers against her car. Giving her just enough space to breathe, but not to move.
She hesitated to speak, not wanting to say the wrong thing. "I- I-"
"It's okay. I know how to fix that." He whispered, teasing her lips with his own lips, breathing in every breath she released, focusing on the possibility of kissing her. "Give me the word, and I'll fix it." He licked her lips, knowing he still knew how to get to her. He licked her bottom lip, then her top lip, and by the time his tongue reached her mouth again, Bonnie caught him, with her own, and allowed herself to be taken by his kiss. It had only been five days that they'd been broken up, but it felt like an eternity.
The moment their mouths connected, she felt it hit her straight in her sweet spot. Five days, multiple baths, showers, and masturbating sessions and nothing. But the moment, she smelled his breath, and felt his skin, and tasted him, her lady parts were reactivated. Damon slid his hands underneath her sweater, gripping her sides with his fingertips. He felt her tense up, when he touched her skin, so he decided to take it further. He slid his hands down into her yoga pants, and squeeze each of her cheeks, gripping her like she belonged to him again. He pulled her into his erection, making her moan. "Let me make it all better. Let me make you feel good." His whispers were hypnotizing her.
His fingers slid further south, until he found her wet warmth. His snake like fingers slithered slowly, giving him ample opportunity to watch her eyes roll to the back of her head, before her head fell backwards. "Yes. Mmmm." Her moans were desperate, and he knew she needed him.
"Yeah, baby. I can make you feel good."
"Make me feel good."
"Okay baby. I'm gonna make you feel good." His lips caressed her open neck wildly, and he whispered into her ear. "Come home with me. You need me, baby. Let me kiss it better." His fingers penetrated her possessively. He knew he had her. Because she needed this. She needed to feel good. And only he could deliver the happy endings.
Bonnie was in euphoria, until it hit her, what he said. You need me. And she couldn't let him have that power over her. Not anymore. It took all of her willpower to pull up, and separate their bodies. He had the power and the control, and she wasn't ready give that to him. So, she denied him. "No. I can't."
"What? Baby, look at me." He grabbed her face. "You know I can make you feel good. I know your body. And I always deliver. We connect so good this way. Baby...?"
She moved away from him shaking her head. "No. I refuse to hand over my obedience anymore. I deserve more. I gave you my all. And you were rationing truths. So- this isn't good enough for me anymore." She pushed him off of her with ease, and got into her car.
oOo Damon oOo
I finally had her in my grasp, and she took herself away from me. Again. I felt fucking lost without her. Bonnie got into her car, and left me in my feelings again. I don't know, if she wanted to hurt me, but it felt like it. It was almost as if she wanted me to feel the hurt I'd caused her. But I started questioning myself right then. I had my fingers, plowed inside of her, drowning in the juices that I squeezed out of her with my obsession to please her. But, she needed to hurt me. I'm convinced. For an educated psychologist, I can't read minds. I can only study them. Am I so lost inside of my work, that I don't know who I really am anymore? Have I become a fictional representation, of who, it makes sense in my head to be? Based on years of these mental studies, am I a façade? Bonnie mentioned not knowing the difference between what was real and what was an illusion. So, to understand her idea of the magnitude of my betrayal, it's going to take some hard work. Searching in a place I wasn't used to, to figure it all out. Myself. I've never had to search inside of myself for anything. I always search for what I need in other people's pain. I blame that on my studies. And suddenly it hits me. Love is a two way street. And I have to ask myself, if Bonnie was right last week? Did I really love her, or did I love the idea of what she'd given to me? For once, I have to question my own sanity in the matter. Maybe there was more to what Bonnie said. But watching her, drive away from me, without any remorse, bruised my ego. And I couldn't handle that type of defiance. It made me want to hurt something. God, I feel like a fucking monster sometimes.
Damon had to understand, the emotional pain he inflicted, from her perspective. He had to take a step back, from what he thought he was doing, and figure out how she interpreted it. And he had to appreciate, what it meant to lose her, and everything that came with her. Her loyalty, her obedience, her willingness to give him all of her, and to trust him, with her delicate heart.
To understand what he did wrong, he had to understand what it meant, to be Bonnie in this situation.
But would he be willing to put himself in her headspace?
xXx
Bonnie pulled up to a low key but swanky pub off La Brea not from from Wilshire. It was a busy spot with lots of fancy upscale places, and then there was Rascal. An American gastropub. She was told it would be low key, and it was, for the area it was located in. But the area was a little swanky. "He calls this low key?" She spoke to herself.
She parked, and put a few quarters in the parking meter. She wore fitted jeans, an off the shoulder long sleeve shirt, tucked in with a belt, and some boots with a four inch heel. Her hair was thrown up in a messy style with loose curls and covered with a rimmed hat.
She walked inside looking for a new but familiar face. Her Private Investigator, who called for this dinner meeting. She spotted him, sitting on the other side of the place. "Hmm." She said to herself, watching him sip on a beer, and looking around at everyone, in between glancing at his phone. She made her way towards him, in the booth he was sitting in. For some reason, she was nervous. Her radar for men, felt far off in any capacity.
This wasn't a date. Even if Damon insinuated it. It was a meeting. But she still felt a lack of trust for men in one on one situations. And though the PI was hired for a specific task, she couldn't lie to herself, about how good looking he was. So, she dressed as casually as possible to keep him from getting the wrong idea, wearing barely any makeup. The closer she became, she realized he was dabbling at something in his phone. Until he managed to look up and make eye contact with her, then smile.
He stood up and waited for her near the table, leaning in to shake her hand and loosely hug her. "Good evening, Ms. Bennett. You look really, nice."
"Uhh, no, totally casual." She smiled.
"That shoulder, is kind of sexy, you threw me off." He grinned.
Bonnie looked over to her exposed shoulder and felt embarrassed if that looked insinuative. "Oh, no. I just happen to love off the shoulder styles and backless styles. I manage to sneak them into my casual wear. Because I have to be so professional at work." She was stiff and uncomfortable, not understanding that his compliment was flirting.
"Ahh. I'm teasing you. It just so happens, I love both off the shoulder and backless attire on women too."
She grinned awkwardly, and shook her head. Was that a compliment, or flirting? She wasn't sure, so she decided to totally ignore the comment all together. "So, am I late, Mr. Parker?"
"No. I was early. I don't like to drink during business, so I decided to have a drink before you got here." She gave him a straight face, to which he responded, "Giggle giggle, grin." Bonnie offered a genuinely confused grin and nodded. "Gee... you're, funny. But, yeah. I had a drink, to relax me."
"Oh wow. Why? Long day?"
"No, you just make me really nervous for some reason Ms. Bennett ." She swears she saw him blush under his neatly trimmed beard and it made her feel like a teenage girl.
"Oh, I am sorry, Mr. Parker. I don't mean to make you nervous. It's this whole RBF thing I have. I can't always help it." She grinned.
"RBF?" He asked confused.
"Resting bitch face." She giggled. "Oh gosh, and now I'm a teenager again."
"Oh, is that what resting bitch face is?"
"Yup. Mr. Parker you're a PI... how can you not know these little things, with all the investigating you do?"
"Well, I've heard of it. And I see it a lot. And women have always been my worst subject. The one, I never perfected."
"Well, don't feel bad. I've failed at men too." Cut, why did I just say that?
"I don't see how you'd ever fail at men, being as though it doesn't seem like you'd have to do anything but stare at them." Bonnie eyes went wide, and she didn't know what to say to that. "And that's not why you make me nervous Ms. Bennett. It's your smile. It's intimidating."
"Pft." She was taken aback. It wasn't too long ago people knew her for not smiling. Something Damon brought out of her, was the smile. She had her RBF down packed before him. She swore she'd go back to it seamlessly after all she'd been through. But somehow, this man had seen her smile. According to him, more than once. "I didn't realize I smiled often."
"Well, I do, and I try hard to ignore it. But it draws me in. Ugh." He caught himself. "I'm sorry, Ms. Bennett. Don't mind me. I work with so many people, that are angry, most of them rarely smile. So, when I meet someone who does, it catches me off guard."
"Wow. Well, listen, it feels really formal for you to call me Ms. Bennett. I think, it's okay if you call me Bonnie. Ms. Bennett sounds too much like my mother. I don't want to hear it right now."
"Okay. Well, in that case, Bonnie, please call me, Kai."
"Kai... I pegged you for a Jason Parker, or a Robert Parker."
He laughed. "Nope. Just Kai." He smiled. And it was kind of an innocent smile. She hadn't seen that from a man in a while.
"Well, just Kai..." she grinned. "I guess we can get to business... after I order a drink?"
"Sure. Whatever you want. I work, for you. You call the shots." He smiled.
Yeah. I call the shots. Damn it's nice to hear that for once. "Okay. In that case, I'll take what you're having. It's been a long week, and I need to whined down." And just like that she was going to order a beer.
"You know what, I'll-uhh... I'll go get us a pitcher." He got up, and headed to the bar, not even waiting for the waitress. Bonnie tried her hardest to relax, but she was nervous. Business or not, this was new for her. Period. Her life, never dictated casual conversation with men over drinks. It took months for her and Damon to actually have a public date.
She was ready to find out what information Kai Parker had for her. And she was happy that there were no expectations to come out of this, other than... that's it. Nothing was expected of her, but to relax... and talk business.
Where do they start to even repair? Clearly they will need time apart, to figure out who they are without each other. I've got several other chapter written and ready for editing. So, hope you enjoyed. Til next time.