Thank you for your continued support! Here's the next chapter! :) Now I'm not a medical expert so please be kind! :P
Chapter 21
The doctor glanced at the kids who were looking at him and hesitated. "Is it possible to talk in private?" He asked TJ.
"Uh..sure." TJ said feeling a pit of dread in his stomach.
"It's not good news, is it?" Luke said, swallowing a lump in his throat.
"I think it's best we talk in private." The doctor said kindly.
"Please just tell me. I'm her brother!" Luke pleaded.
"Hey April, why don't you take the kids to get something to drink?" Lorelai suggested realising the doctor didn't want to say anything in front of little ears.
April noticed the seriousness of the situation and nodded, getting up and leading them away.
"Liz is ok, isn't she?" Lorelai asked.
"I'm really sorry." The doctor said. "We did everything we could. We had to take her into emergency surgery but...there was nothing we could do. I'm really sorry." He said sympathetically.
"She's dead..." Luke said in shock.
"We did everything we could do. But she was bleeding internally and there was nothing we could do to stop it." The doctor said. "I really am sorry for your loss. I'll be around if you have any questions at all and we can help you with what happens next. I'll give you all a minute."
"Wait!" Lorelai suddenly said. "I'm sorry but do you know anything about Charlotte Mariano?"
"Are you family?" He asked.
"I'm her mom." She said.
"Did you hear what I said?" The doctor said kindly.
"Sorry, what?" Jess said glancing up at her.
"Did you hear what I told you? I know it's a big shock." She said.
"How could you have delivered the babies? She's only 6 months!" Jess said in shock.
"Baby." The doctor said softly. "You understood that very sadly we lost one of your daughters?"
"Yeah..." Jess said quietly, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I don't get it. It's far too early."
"If we didn't get them out now, both the babies and your wife would have been in serious danger of dying." She explained. "We needed to do the emergency c-section."
"Charlotte's ok?" Jess checked.
"She's getting ready for recovery but we're confident she will make a full recovery." The doctor assured him.
Jess let out a breath. "You're sure?"
"We're very confident, yes." She nodded.
"And...and our daughters, I mean, daughter?" He said, his voice cracking.
"She's critical." The doctor said honestly. "But she's a fighter. She's still with us."
"Can...can I see them?" Jess asked quietly.
"Charlotte will be in recovery soon but you're welcome to come and see your daughter while you wait for her." The doctor said.
Jess nodded and he numbly followed her as she led the way for him.
Luke looked through the window where he saw Jess standing next to the incubator where his and Charlotte's daughter was fighting for her life. He knew he had to tell Jess about Liz but it was so unfair. Jess had been through so much that day and he knew this would break him. TJ had offered to tell him but Luke knew he had the hardest part at having to tell Doula so he offered to tell Jess for him. But now he was standing here, he was regretting that decision. Lorelai had found out what had happened with Charlotte and everyone was shocked about that as well and he felt so much for his nephew. He lost his sister today but Jess lost so much more. He lost a daughter and he lost a mom. He was about to walk away when Jess looked up and spotted him. Luke took a deep breath as Jess slowly made his way out to see him.
"You heard then?" Jess said quietly.
"Lorelai found out." Luke said. "I'm so sorry, Jess."
Jess blinked away some tears. "She's so tiny." He said quietly.
"But she's still with us. That's the main thing." Luke pointed out.
"She shouldn't be here at all though! She wasn't ready!" Jess said.
Luke sighed. "From what I've heard, she's a fighter. Have you seen Charlotte yet? I think Lorelai's itching to see her."
"I was going to go now. I've just been told she's been wheeled in to recovery." Jess said.
"She's going to be ok though, right?" Luke checked.
"They said so, yeah."
"That's good." Luke said.
"Have you heard anything about Liz?" Jess asked.
Luke's heart sank. He was dreading this question. "Uh...yeah...we have." He said.
Jess noticed the look on his face and suddenly felt that something was wrong. "What's happened?" He said.
Luke knew he had to just tell him. "I'm really sorry, Jess. They did everything they could to save her." He said, blinking back tears himself.
"She died...?" Jess said shocked.
"I'm so sorry." Luke said again.
Jess saw TJ turn the corner. "This is all your fault!" He exclaimed angrily.
"I...was going to come and help you tell Jess but I'm guessing you already have..." TJ said glancing at Luke and then back at Jess. "Jess..."
"No! If you had never met her, we never would have been playing happy families and we never would have been here in the first place!" Jess exclaimed.
"Jess, that's not fair..." Luke said.
"I don't care! Life's not fair!" Jess snapped.
"We're all grieving, Jess." TJ said. "But we're family. We need to stick together. More now than ever."
"You're no family to me." Jess shook his head. "You're not even close! This is all your fault! I will never forgive you for this!"
"Hey! That's enough!" Luke said loudly. "If it was anyone's fault, it was mine! I was the one driving." He said.
"Then it's both of your faults! I've lost my daughter and my mom today! And I could have lost my wife and my other daughter as well! Can you even imagine how that feels?" Jess exclaimed angrily.
"No I don't! But we've all lost someone today!" Luke exclaimed.
"Enough!" TJ exclaimed. "What happened today was noone's fault!" He said, glancing at Luke. "It was an accident and if Liz was here right now, she would have told you the same." He said firmly. He looked at Jess. "I'm really sorry you feel the way you do but I have to go off and tell your sister that her mom's never coming back. I know she's going to need her big brother for support and I really hope you still want to be there for her. If I had never met your mom, yes maybe this wouldn't have happened, but who knows what else could have happened." He said. "We're all grieving." He repeated. "So why don't we all stick together rather than tearing lumps out of each other?"
Jess just shook his head and started walking away.
"Where are you going?" Luke exclaimed.
"To see Charlotte!" Jess shouted before disappearing from view.
Luke sighed and glanced at TJ. "I'm sorry..."
TJ sighed. "He's hurting. I get that."
"He'll calm down, I'm sure of it." Luke assured him.
"I can't worry about that right now. I need to go talk to Doula." He sighed.
"Do you want some help?" Luke offered.
TJ gave him a small smile. "Thanks. But I think this is something I should do."
Luke nodded in understanding. "Anything you two need, I'm here ok? Me and Lorelai."
"Thanks Luke." TJ said gratefully. He went to walk away before turning back round. "It was an accident what happened today. Don't blame yourself ok?"
"Thanks." Luke said gruffly.
"Jess, I'm so sorry..." Charlotte said quietly after Jess had filled her in on everything that had happened.
"I'm just glad I'm here talking to you right now." Jess said quietly, taking hold of her hand. "You gave me such a fright."
"Sorry.." Charlotte sniffed.
"No, it's not your fault." Jess said quickly. "It's just...it's really good to hear your voice right now."
"I'm sorry I couldn't save our other daughter..." She said tremulously.
"Hey..." He said softly. "That isn't your fault."
"I feel responsible." She admitted.
Jess sighed. "You couldn't have done anything. The doctors did everything they did. We just need to focus on her sister."
"Have you seen her?" She asked.
"Yeah..." He said quietly.
"What's she like?" She sniffed.
"She's beautiful." Jess said honestly. "Just like you."
"She is going to be ok, isn't she?" Charlotte said worried.
Jess swallowed a lump in her throat. "She's a fighter. We just have to hope she fights through this. She's in the best place."
Charlotte nodded. "I really want to see her. But they said I should rest first."
"You should." Jess said. "You won't be any use to her if you get ill as well."
"I know." She sighed. "I just...I need to see her."
Jess nodded understanding.
"We lost a daughter." She said tremulously.
"I know." Jess said blinking back tears. He leaned over and pulled her into a hug, holding her tight. "We'll get through this. Together."
"Together." She whispered. They pulled away after a moment and Charlotte glanced at him. "Are you going to talk to TJ?" She asked hesitantly.
"I can't think about him right now. I need to focus on you and our daughter." He said gruffly.
"And what about Doula?" Charlotte said softly. "Jess, she's 5 and she's just lost her mom."
"I've just lost my mom too!" He said.
"I know. That's why you need your sister and she needs you. You need each other." She said softly. She sighed. "You don't really blame TJ for all of this, do you?"
Jess sighed. "No." He admitted. "I just...all I heard was Liz had died and I just...I lost it. I don't even know why. Maybe everything that had happened had just got on top of me and I finally realised what had happened."
"That's understandable."
"I just...I don't know how to feel." He said honestly. He glanced at her. "But I am so relieved to be here talking to you right now."
"Hey, nothing's going to break us. I promise you that." She said. "I'm sorry for worrying you."
Jess leaned forward and kissed her. "I love you so much." He said emotionally.
"I love you too." She said blinking back tears.
Just then there was a knock on the door and Lorelai poked her head round. "I'm sorry to interrupt but these ones couldn't wait any longer." She said as Jack and Mia rushed in.
"Mommy!" He exclaimed.
Charlotte's face lit up. "Hey sweetheart..." She said softly, accepting the hug from her son. She glanced up at her mom. "Hi mom..."
"Hey hon..." Lorelai said wiping some tears away. "You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice."
"I think I'm going to get some fresh air." Jess said. "I won't be long." He told Charlotte.
"Ok." Charlotte said. "Tell her, her mommy can't wait to meet her ok?" She said knowing he would go see their daughter again.
"I will." Jess said softly, giving her another kiss and then leaving her with Lorelai, Jack and Mia.
He was planning to go see their daughter but he did need some fresh air first. He headed outside and tried to breathe in the fresh air. He immediately saw TJ and Doula sat outside on a bench though. He watched as TJ said something to Doula and she started crying before holding TJ close. He took a deep breath before slowly walking towards them and he could hear some of their conversation.
"I know it's going to be hard. But I promise you, we're going to get through this together, sweetheart." TJ said kissing the top of his daughter's head. "Your mommy will always be watching you though. I can promise you that."
"How?" Doula sniffed.
"Are you kidding? Do you think she'd miss any of your life?" TJ said.
"I miss her already." She sniffed.
TJ swallowed a lump in his throat. "So do I." He said honestly. "So do I." He said pulling her close.
"You won't leave as well will you?" Doula asked quietly.
"No. You will never lose me." TJ assured her. "It's you and me forever, kid. I can promise you that."
"And me." Jess said making his presence known.
"Jess!" Doula said getting up and launching herself at him.
"Hey.." He said softly, holding his sister close.
"Mommy's never coming back." She said tears falling down her cheeks again.
"I know." Jess said feeling tears prick his eyes as well. He glanced over at TJ. "But you've got one awesome dad. You remember that, yeah?"
Doula sniffed but nodded.
"And you'll always have me ok?" Jess promised. He glanced at TJ again. "Even when your brother says..uh..stupid things sometimes. Things he doesn't mean." He said.
"Who doesn't?" TJ said, nodding at him, recognising his apology.
"I will always be here for you ok? Whenever you need me." Jess told Doula. He glanced at TJ. "Family stick together right?" He said gruffly.
"Right." TJ nodded, giving him a small smile.
Jess was stood by the incubator, looking down at his daughter. "You need to fight, little one, ok? Because you've got a mom and dad who love you so much already. Just keep fighting ok?" He said blinking back tears. He suddenly felt a presence next to him and looked up to see Luke stood next to him. He wiped away some tears. "I'm sorry about earlier." He said quietly.
"Don't." Luke said. "You were hurting. You just found out your mom had died."
"You'd just found out your sister had died." Jess pointed out. "I could have been more...I just shouldn't have snapped like that. You lost your sister today."
Luke swallowed a lump in his throat. "Yeah. I did." He said quietly. "But you've lost a daughter as well as your mom. And you could have lost Charlotte and this little one as well. This day has been much harder on you." He glanced at his nephew who he could see was fighting tears now. "You know, you don't have be strong in front of me. I get that you want to be with Charlotte but you don't have to with me. I know what it's like to lose a mom..." He said softly.
Jess furiously tried to blink back his tears. "You know, when I was younger, I wished mom would just go away and never come back. I always thought it would be better for me if that happened. How awful is that? I actually wished my own mom dead." He admitted.
"You've been through a lot." Luke said softly. "Jess, you're not a horrible person. You need to believe me on that."
"We were good." Jess said his voice finally cracking. "We were finally good and then...and then everything goes wrong. She's gone and I lost a daughter and I could have lost Charlotte and...and..." He said finally letting the tears fall. "Why? Why does it always have to happen to me? Is it karma? Is it karma for everything bad I've done?"
"No, none of this is your fault, Jess." Luke said blinking back tears. "Come here." He said pulling Jess into him. "It's going to be ok." He tried to reassure him.
"Why is it always me?" Jess sniffed and he finally let his emotions out as he sobbed on his uncle's shoulder. "Why does it always happen to me?"
"It's ok." Luke said, feeling tears fall down his cheeks as well, comforting Jess. "It's going to be ok." He said softly.
Later that night, Jess was sat next to Charlotte. He had refused to go home. "I know we hadn't really thought of names yet but I actually have an idea..." Jess said nervously.
"Yeah?" Charlotte said. "What?"
Jess hesitated before glancing at her. "How about...Lizzie?" He said nervously.
Charlotte smiled at that. "Lizzie Mariano." She said softly. "I like it."
"You do?" Jess said.
Charlotte took hold of his hand. "I think your mom would be honoured as well."
Jess ducked his head slightly. "I just liked the name." He said.
"Well so do I." She smiled softly. She let out a big breath. "We're going to be ok, aren't we?"
"Always." Jess said sincerely. "Right now, you, Jack and Lizzie are the only ones keeping me going. I love you."
"I love you too." Charlotte said softly. "Come lie with me." She said.
"Is that allowed?" Jess said.
"Since when have rules stopped Jess Mariano?" She said smirking slightly.
Jess had to smile at that. "Good point." He smirked as he got up on the bed carefully, next to Charlotte, holding her close. That was how the nurses found them in the morning, in the same position, fast asleep.
So I hope you liked it! I was really nervous about this chapter so I hope it was worth the wait! Please keep the reviews coming as I love reading what you think and they really are what keeps me writing so thank you! :)