Author's Note: I know, I suck. It's been almost a month since I've updated. All I can say in response is that we've had a lot of snow here in a place where it almost never snows, my grandma died (no worries, we weren't really close, but I was hurting to see my mom so upset), and I found a new game. I'll try to post the next chapter sooner.

Oh, and my birthday was three days ago, so, if you want, reviews make awesome belated birthday presents. Oh that note, read and enjoy your little hearts out. :-)

Quinn skidded to a stop outside the Berry residence. Her frantic run from her car to the front door was reminiscent of nearly a month ago ('twenty-seven days', her inner Rachel told her) when she had come to try and save Rachel's life. There were a couple of differences between then and now, though. First of all, the drive had been from school instead of from her house. Also, there was a black Range Rover parked in their driveway that belonged to neither Mr. Berry. The biggest difference was that Leroy opened the door this time rather than a drunk, suicidal Rachel.

"Quinn?" Leroy asked, looking down at her, seemingly startled by her demeanor. "Is everything okay? You look… panicked."

"Rachel texted me," Quinn rushed out. She'd packed away the initial panic, compartmentalizing it during her drive over since there was nothing she could do but keep trying to redial Rachel and drive recklessly faster. Now that she was here, though, everything started rushing back. "She said Shelby was here and to get here as soon as I could. Where is she?"

"Upstairs," Leroy said, letting her in and looking up the stairwell. "We can't get her to open the door."

"Her door's closed?" Quinn ran a hand over her face, worries cascading through her. "She's not allowed to close her door."

"She's not, but she took one of her antianxiety pills before she went up there, so…" He trailed off, unsure what to say.

"She took one of her pills? Did you have to force her, or…?"

"No, no," Leroy assured her. They stood at the edge of the staircase, both looking up at it like they were expecting Rachel to appear before them at any moment. "She walked in and took it all by herself."

This stopped Quinn. It was a new situation for them. Rachel had never taken an antianxiety pill by herself. Almost every time, Quinn had to coax her into taking one. But this time she had chosen to take one. That had to be some kind of progress, right? And yet the door to her room was closed. She didn't know what to make of this.

Quinn turned away from the stairs and looked towards the rest of the house, taking a moment to breath. Except there wasn't time. As soon as her focus was off Rachel, she thought back to why she texted her in the first place. "Shelby… Is she still here?"

"Yes. She's in the kitchen."

"And did she… did she bring…?" Quinn left the sentence hanging, unable to say any more.

"No," Leroy answered, a look of sympathy in his eyes. "She's by herself."

"Okay." Quinn released a breath. "Good. That's… that's good."

Thoughts rushed through her head, the first being thankful that the baby wasn't there with her. Quinn didn't think she could get through whatever was about to happen if the baby had been there. And Rachel had taken one of her pills. And locked the door to her room. And the text message she had sent. 'I just can't…'

"I'm going to go talk to her," Quinn said, placing one foot on the staircase and looking back at Leroy. "I'm assuming you and Hiram have both tried?"

"H and I both tried to get her to come out and talk to us," Leroy said. "Even Shelby tried. The only thing she's said was that she wasn't going to try to end her life and to go away."

Quinn bit her lip and nodded. That's more than she was hoping for, at least. "I'll see what I can do, Leroy," Quinn said, patting him on the arm. "Just don't let Shelby come up here. Please."

"I can do that," Leroy said, offering her a sharp nod.

Quinn made her way up the steps and found Hiram sitting down beside Rachel's door. She gave him a quick smile and a wave and offered out her hand, pulling him to his feet. "Rachel texted me. Mind if I try?"

Hiram motioned her forward with a wave of his arm and said, "Be my guest."

Quinn didn't step forward yet, though. "I don't want to overstep my boundaries here, Hiram, but she clearly doesn't want to talk to any of you and actually wants to talk to me. I know your family has this whole 'open honesty' thing that you do, but… would it be okay if I talked to her alone first. Maybe I can get her to come downstairs and talk to you and Leroy. Maybe even Shelby. But… if that's not something she's ready to do at the moment, is that okay, too?"

"Of course," Hiram said. "Making sure she's mentally and physically okay is our first priority. Her relationship with us- or even with Shelby- all that's secondary."

"Okay, good," Quinn said, letting out a sigh of relief. "In that case, would it be too much if I asked you to wait downstairs with Leroy and Shelby? Not that Rachel or I have anything to hide from you, but it's sometimes easier to talk about what's really wrong with a friend rather than a parent. And she's not going to open up if she thinks you might be listening outside her door still."

Hiram gave her a sad, reluctant smile, patted her on the shoulder, and then started downstairs. Again, Quinn felt that feeling of failure for him. It had to be hard seeing Rachel turn to her rather than to Leroy and Hiram again and again. Especially considering they'd been the sole ones there for Rachel for the first seventeen years. Now, to be replaced by the person that had caused Rachel the most pain over the last couple of years… And yet, if this was what Rachel needed, they were more than willing to do that. To step out of the way so Quinn could take over.

Once Quinn was sure he'd had plenty of time to walk downstairs, she moved to the door, raised her fist, and banged on it extraordinarily hard three times. "Berry!" she yelled. "If you don't open this door in the next three seconds, I promise you I will have no qualms about kicking it in! One!" She started the countdown, hearing Rachel squeak from the other side and an upset mewl from Babs. "Two!"

The door flew open and Rachel looked at her with wide eyes, some mixture of surprised and scared and sad all at the same time. Quinn pushed her back into the room, closed the door and locked it again, then turned to face her.

Quinn moved to Rachel, grabbing first her good arm to look it over, then, more gently, doing the same to her braced arm. She peered at them, even pulling her short sleeves up to look at her upper arms. She quickly kneeled down and did the same to her legs, ignoring how much she tried not to stare at the shorter girl's exposed thighs as she examined her legs. She looked her legs over from her ankle socks to the bottom of her ridiculously short shorts. She spun her around to look at the backs of her legs and came face to face with her butt. 'God, it's just so perfect I just want to bite it' was another thought that she shoved into that forbidden thought closet.

Quinn spun Rachel around again and rose up from the floor. She reached out and swept the brunette's hair back off of her shoulders. She then took her face in her hands, moved her head to the side and examined her neck, each side, then brought her back to look in her eyes. Rachel's beautiful eyes were almost mahogany in color with speckles of lighter brown, but they were clear and bright though clearly confused.

It had been a rapid fire examination, taking no more than ten or fifteen seconds, but it provided a profound amount of relief to Quinn. Before she realized it, she had Rachel pulled into a tight hug and was squeezing her. Rachel stiffened in her arms, but Quinn couldn't care about that right now. She was just so glad everything was okay with her.

"Quinn?"

"Don't ever, ever scare me like that again, Rachel Berry," Quinn said, face buried in the shorter girl's shoulder and neck. Talking to Leroy and Hiram had mostly calmed Quinn down from the anxious way she'd been feeling. If they weren't panicking then she shouldn't, right? But seeing Rachel had brought back each and every concern- every 'what if'- with force. She had to make sure she was okay, thus her impromptu body check to confirm she wasn't bleeding or drugged or dying.

"What? What did I even-"

"When you say something as vague as 'I just can't' and then you don't text me back or answer any of my phone calls?" Quinn grabbed onto her shoulders and held her at arm's length, looking once more into her eyes. "You can't do that, Rachel. I'm serious. I nearly died on the way over here trying to call you back. I'm pretty sure if that truck hadn't slammed on his brakes when I sped through that stop sign I would have."

"I'm… I'm sorry," Rachel said. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Well you did, okay?" Quinn finally let her go and stepped away from her, feeling a little self-conscious since she had just radically invaded Rachel's personal space with that almost full-body exam. "The last time I raced over here you tried to kill yourself. What was I supposed to think I'd find this time with a message like that?"

Quinn inhaled deeply and breathed it out again, trying to calm herself. "Look, I know you love drama, okay? It's a part of you, and you don't even try to do it. Maybe you don't even know you're doing it. And that's fine. But with the important stuff like this? Like, life or death stuff? I need you to be really clear and concise. That's hard for you, I get it. You talk in paragraphs and I love that about you and you can talk to me all day long if you need to. But with this? With your health? Please, Rachel." She let out another shaky breath as the adrenaline was leaving her system.

Rachel stood there fidgeting, her good hand playing with the brace on her other hand while she stared down at the carpet. From the bed, Babs was meowing away. Quinn walked over and scooped the kitten up, petting her twice before handing her back to Rachel. The brunette took the kitten and held her, stroking the fur along her back and causing the kitten to purr contentedly.

"Rachel," Quinn said, causing her to look up and meet her eyes. "I'm not mad at you." She shook her head. No point in lying to her. "No, okay, I'm a little mad, but I shouldn't be. I just… I care about you. You know that, right? And I was worried."

"I'm sorry," Rachel said, turning towards the floor again. "I was just… Shelby was here and I didn't… I didn't know what to do, and…" Quinn walked over, hugging her close again as the tears started to fall. She took Babs from her arms and gently dropped the kitten to the floor.

"Shh..." Quinn said, trying to stop the brunette's tears. She held her tighter, arms around Rachel's waist while Rachel's arms looped around Quinn's neck, face in her shoulder. "Don't cry. I'm sorry. Shh…"

She held Rachel for a few minutes, comforting and soothing until the tears wound down. Slowly, she extricated herself from the brunette's arms and went over to her desk, pulling a few tissues from the box and handing them to her. Rachel looked embarrassed as she wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

After an awkward few moments of Rachel wiping her eyes and nose again, she finally said, "That's not all because of you, if you're worried."

"I was hoping it wasn't," Quinn said. "I shouldn't have complained. You're going through something difficult here."

Rachel shook her head. "No, you were right to. I shouldn't have silenced my cell. I should have explained better. I just… it's Shelby."

"I get it. I was worried that she'd brought the baby. It was one of the first things I asked Leroy about when I got here."

"Beth," Rachel whispered, eyes unfocused for a moment before she looked back up at Quinn. "Oh, Quinn, I'm so sorry. I wasn't even thinking when I texted you that you might have feelings about seeing Shelby again. I'm sorry. I was being selfish and-"

"Stop," Quinn said, stepping forward. "Just don't. I told you if you ever needed me, to call or text and I'd be right here. That's what I'm doing. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you."

Quinn patted her on the arm. "You're welcome." Quinn waited a minute or two for Rachel to talk, but when it seemed she wasn't going to, she went over to the bed, took off her shoes, and climbed up to sit against the headboard. Still facing a silent Rachel, she patted the spot beside her, causing the brunette to comply, coming over and sitting there beside her. Finally Quinn asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Rachel sighed. "I suppose I should, but…"

"But what?"

"I just…" Rachel lay her head on Quinn's shoulder, staring at the blank television. "I don't know if you're the right person to talk about this with."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, my birth mother adopted your daughter," Rachel said. "You might be biased."

"I'm not biased," Quinn said, resting her head against the top Rachel's. "I'm here for you as your friend. Nothing more. You can tell me anything, I promise. Quid pro quo, remember? We're honest with each other. That's what we do."

"Even if I said I hated her?"

Quinn paused, considering, then said, "I guess a certain amount of hatred would come with the situation. Shelby kind of lied to you and-"

"Not Shelby."

Quinn stiffened beside Rachel, and the brunette removed her head, turning to look at her. The elephant in the room. Of course. That's why she'd be biased.

"I'm sorry, Quinn," Rachel started. "I shouldn't have said that. I know you're-" but she was silenced by a hand being held up.

Quinn fought with herself for a moment before she started speaking again. She'd lied so much to Rachel already. She was too much of a coward to tell her about the picture and too whatever ('repressed', her inner Santana offered to which Quinn responded with a fuck off) to ever tell Rachel that she had feelings for her, no matter how wrong they were and how much she was trying to fight them. And yet Rachel had been nothing but honest with her. Maybe this was something she could give her.

"Okay," Quinn said, turning to face the brunette. "Here's something I've never told anyone. Not even Dr. Richards when I was in therapy."

"Dr. Richards?" Rachel asked, pulling back. "You were in therapy with Dr. Richards?"

"Yes," Quinn said. "After the baby was born and I moved back in with mom, we went to family therapy to work through some issues. I was also really depressed for a while after I gave her up. And I didn't tell you because of those thoughts going through that pretty little head of yours right now."

"What thoughts?"

"The ones where you think he'd ever tell me about what's going on with your therapy," Quinn said. "Dr. Richards is a great doctor and a good man, and not only would it be unethical, I'm pretty sure it would be illegal. So you know it would never happen, right?"

Rachel bit her lip, looking away for a moment before turning back. "I know, I know. I'm just being-"

"Dramatic?" Quinn teased. "Don't worry about it. I'm getting used to it."

Rachel fell to the side, burying her face in a pillow. Though muffled, Quinn heard, "Am I really that bad?"

Quinn put a hand on Rachel's side, rubbing up and down. She felt Rachel stiffen slightly at the touch, but Quinn had only meant it as a friendly gesture, not as anything more. Though she was pretty close to touching more intimate areas. "Not at all."

She stopped rubbing and pulled her hand away, hoping the brunette would let her get back to what she was saying. Rachel stayed on her side, though, face in the pillow, so Quinn moved around and lay across the bed in front of her. She reached out with two fingers and raised Rachel's head just enough so the girl was looking at her again.

"Now what I was saying, little miss melodrama, is that I'm about to tell you something that I never even told Dr. Richards." Quinn took a deep breath while Rachel stared at her expectantly. "You're… not the only one that's hated her."

"What?"

"The baby. I hated her, too," Quinn said. "And I know it makes me sound like the most horrible person ever to say this, and maybe I am, but…" Quinn sat up, crossing her legs to sit facing Rachel while the girl turned slightly, looking up at her. "I couldn't get an abortion because I'd been taught that it was wrong and that it was murder, but I swear I prayed every day for a miscarriage. I think that's why I stayed on the Cheerios as long as I could, just hoping for the worst to happen. I know it's not an excuse, but… she was taking my body away from me. My popularity. My family. I hated her so much."

"But…" Rachel sat up, looking at Quinn who was unable to meet her eyes. "You always seemed like you loved her. You were always so protective of her."

"I was," Quinn said. "Later. But those first few months…"

"What changed?"

"I fell in love with her," Quinn said, smiling forlornly as her hands went down to rub what had once been her pregnant belly. "I realized that she wasn't at fault. How could she be? She was an innocent little baby. It was Puck and I that had done this. That had ruined my life. Later, I just tried to trust that God knew what He was doing. That this baby was here for a reason. But sometime during all that, I realized I loved her. More than I have ever loved myself. You should have seen her when she was born. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She was perfect. My perfect little thing."

She went silent, just sitting there and rubbing her stomach as Rachel stared at her. After a minute, Quinn added, "She loved your music, y'know."

"W-what?"

"When you sang in Glee she would kick so hard," Quinn said, now meeting her eyes and smiling down at the brunette. "It meant she was happy. And she never did it for anyone else. Just you. I think she might be your biggest fan. After me, of course."

Rachel looked away bashfully. "I know what you're trying to do."

"And what's that?"

"Get me to like Beth," Rachel said.

"I'm actually not. I'm just hoping you'd see that she isn't the one that hurt you," Quinn told her. "That she's innocent here, too. You can blame Shelby or blame me as much as you want, but not her."

"Why would I blame you?"

"Because I was the one that let Shelby adopt her?" Quinn shook her head. "I should have picked someone else."

"You did what you thought was right for your daughter, Quinn," Rachel said. "Anyone in your position would have done the same. I could never be mad at- EEP!" Rachel's eyes went wide as she blushed furiously and turned away from Quinn.

"Rachel?" Quinn asked, leaning forward and placing a hand on Rachel's shoulder that the smaller girl shook off. "You okay?"

"Yes," Rachel said, again muffled by the pillow. "I just… um… realized you were sitting across from me cross-leggedly, and your… uh…"

Quinn blushed a bright red and stood from the bed in a hurry. "And my spankies don't exactly leave a lot to the imagination."

"Not at eye-level, no," Rachel said. "Sorry."

"Not a problem," Quinn said. "Totally my fault. I should probably go take a shower, anyway."

Rachel rolled over to face Quinn. "You're leaving?"

"Not at all," Quinn assured her. "I mean, not unless you want me to."

"No."

"Okay, then," Quinn said. "Do you maybe have something I could wear to sleep in, though? I hadn't really planned on staying… or even coming over, so my bag is actually at school still. Damn."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Berry," Quinn warned. "Seriously. I'm over here because I want to be here. You're not a nuisance or an inconvenience or whatever else you might be thinking you are. So stop, find me something to wear, and we'll be good. Okay?"

"Okay," Rachel said, nodding and getting up from the bed. She went around to her dresser and pulled out a t-shirt, some sweat pants, and a pair of panties. She handed them to Quinn who took the shirt and pants and only hesitantly took the panties with another blush and a mumbled "thank you".

"They might be a little short on you," Rachel said. "The sweats, I mean."

"I'd expect nothing less from your wardrobe," Quinn teased again. "Then again, if I had legs like that, I'd be showing them off all the time, too."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Rachel said, smiling brightly and turning away from Quinn. As Quinn made her way to the bathroom, Rachel added, "And your legs are amazing."

Quinn stepped into the bathroom, blushing again. God, were they actually flirting? No. Rachel was dating someone. There's no way she would actually be flirting with her. And Quinn wasn't flirting with Rachel. No, it was just a… a compliment between friends. Something she'd say just as easily to Brittany or Santana. Still, knowing that Rachel had looked under her skirt, even accidentally… It made Quinn feel like she did during their Cheerio routines. Like she was flying through the air.

After Quinn got out of the shower, she dried off and changed into the clothes Rachel had given her. Sharing the pair of panties was nothing, something she'd done repeatedly with Brittany or Santana after spending the night at their house, but still… There was something about knowing the little diva in the next room had worn these that sent chills through her.

Opening the door to the bathroom, Quinn found Rachel lying on the bed petting Babs and staring at the wall. She went over to the brunette, sat on the bed beside her and reached over her to pet the kitten.

"Your phone's been ringing," Rachel said, looking over to her desk where Quinn had left it. "Also Santana texted me asking if I was okay. I told her I was and that you were here."

"I thought she might," Quinn said, walking over to the desk to pick up her phone. She had a text from Santana and two missed calls from Sam. God, sometimes she hated having to have a boyfriend. Sam was sweet and cared about her, but she just couldn't find it in herself to really care about him. Not like he wanted. On some level, she knew that it was going to end eventually, probably badly, but what Quinn wanted was to figure out a way to do it without hurting him or her reputation. "I told her you texted me to come over and left her in charge of the squad when I left. I figured she'd be worried."

There was a minute of silence as Quinn read through her own text from Santana and responded to it before Rachel asked, "Do you ever miss her?"

"Santana? I saw her an hour ago. And God, no."

"No," Rachel said, giggling a little as she sat up to look at Quinn. "Beth."

"Oh." Quinn stood there chewing on the inside of her jaw for a minute, not sure how to answer that. Like she often tried to do with Rachel, she eventually decided on the truth. "I think… I think it's like someone dying," she said. "I think you miss them a lot in the beginning, and it hurts a lot, but after a while it's just kind of a dull ache of longing. Like, you're just left with all the what-ifs."

"I've never had anyone close to me die," Rachel said. "My Dad's family kind of… disowned him… after he came out, and Daddy's family lives in Indiana, so we don't get to visit them that often." She paused, looking over at Quinn's ever-present silver cross. "So it feels like it did when your grandmother died? You were close to her, right?"

"I was," Quinn said, going to sit beside Rachel again. "Frannie and I spent a lot of time with them before they moved to Florida. Especially during the summers. After that, we only saw each other a few times a year, but we still emailed all the time."

"And if you could still spend time with her you would want to, right?" Rachel asked. "Because you still love her."

"Of course."

"Of course you would," Rachel agreed. "Because you love her." The brunette sat there staring at some spot on the wall for a moment before finally turning to look at Quinn. "So if that's true then the opposite must be true, right? If you didn't want to see someone or be around someone, then you must not love them."

"Rachel…" Quinn reached over and put a hand on the other girl's leg, rubbing up and down. It was warm, God, so warm, but she couldn't think about that right now. She was trying to focus on being a good friend. "What are you asking me here?"

"I…" Rachel started, looking around before settling back on Quinn, eyes filling up with tears. "I just… I want some reason for what she did. I wanted her to be my mom, and she said she wasn't ready for that, and I stupidly believed that she meant she wasn't ready to be a mother. Not that she wasn't ready to be my mother. I hate her, but I… I still just want a mom. I wanted her to love me." Quinn pulled her into her arms and held her as she started to cry in earnest again. "Quinn? Why doesn't she love me?"

Rachel cried hard again, sobbing against Quinn, and the blonde did everything she could to shush her and comfort her until the tears lightened off and turned to a wet kind of sniffle. Once they had, she moved from the bed just long enough to get her the box of tissues from her desk and bring it back before she again wrapped herself around Rachel. She removed a couple of tissues from the box and wiped her eyes, even getting her to blow her nose, then turned and tossed the used tissues onto the nightstand beside her bed.

Tears subsided, this left Rachel clinging to Quinn, head on her shoulder as Quinn thought what to say to Rachel. She was in a unique position here. She could sympathize with Shelby, having given up a daughter of her own. She just wasn't sure she wanted to. Quinn had given the baby up to give her the best possible chance at life. Shelby had given Rachel up because she didn't want a teenage daughter. She wanted a baby. What kind of person did that?

"Rachel," Quinn said, not breaking contact with her. "I don't know about you and Shelby, but, if it were my child that had tried to commit suicide, I would have rushed to her side as soon as I found out about it just like she did for you. That's got to mean something, right?"

Rachel was quiet for a minute before she said, "Emotional distance."

"What?"

"You…" Rachel sniffed and pulled back from Quinn enough to look her in the eyes. "You never say stuff that hurts you. It's like you're trying to distance yourself away from the actual words. Like, when you would talk about my suicide attempt before I called you out on it, you would say 'that night' or 'what happened'. You wouldn't actually call it my suicide attempt."

"Okay?"

"You keep calling Beth 'the baby'. Just then you called her 'my child'. It's okay to say her name, Quinn."

"Look, Berry," Quinn said, gritting her teeth and causing Rachel to laugh quietly.

"Another example." Rachel smiled her dazzling smile at her, and Quinn lost all the irritation she'd had seconds before.

"Look, we both know I'm screwed up, Rachel," Quinn said, enunciating the syllables of her name. "We're not talking about me, though."

"I know," Rachel said, sighing. "I just get tired of talking about me sometimes."

"I get that," Quinn said, wrapping her up again in her arms and holding her close. Quinn began to rock back and forth slightly and rubbed one hand up and down Rachel's back. "Let me talk about me for a second, then. I'll tell you something that Puck could also tell you that not many people know."

Quinn took a deep breath. "I love Beth. I love her so much that I gave her to another person to raise because I couldn't do it. It wasn't because I wanted my old life back. I mean, I did, but… if I could have kept her and raised her on my own, or even with Puck and my mom's help, I would have. I just… I don't think I could have done it. Not without sacrificing my or her future. And maybe some people would think that made me selfish to not want to sacrifice my own future for her, but it doesn't. If I had done it, became a Lima loser to raise her, I would have been bitter. Maybe would have become an alcoholic like my parents and took it out on her. Or worse, I might have tried to turn her into what I couldn't be. And that wouldn't be fair to her."

"But do you know what makes me the happiest about my relationship with her?" Rachel shook her head. "I'll always have something with her that no one else will, no matter what happens. No matter who loves her or cares for her in the future, they'll never have what I do. I carried her. For eight months and one week, two hundred and fifty three days, I carried her inside me. I created her, cared for her, protected her in a way that no one else will ever be able to claim. I did that. It's one of the things in my life I'm most proud of. That, giving her up to have a better chance, and saving your life. That's all the good I've ever done in the world."

"Quinn…"

"So I'm not taking Shelby's side," Quinn said, ignoring the brunette's plea. "But I do know what that feels like. To carry someone inside you, to do this amazing thing with your life, and then to know that you won't be able to be their mother. That you can't. It's…" Quinn paused, reached up to wipe one of her own tears away. This wasn't about her. "And if Beth came back into my life in sixteen years, I don't know how I'd react. I don't want to think I'd do the same that Shelby did, but I don't know. But if she ever tried to kill herself, I'd be there immediately to make sure she was okay, lawsuits be damned. Nothing would stop me from going to her."

Rachel was quiet for a long time there in Quinn's arms. She held her close, hoping that whatever she felt for the brunette, even if she couldn't or wouldn't admit to it, she hoped that Rachel could feel it. That it made her feel better. Made her feel loved.

Eventually, Rachel pulled back. "I'd like to go talk to Shelby for a minute. Will you come with me, please?"

"If you want me to, of course."

Untangling from each other, the two girls made their way downstairs. They found Shelby, Leroy, and Hiram talking over cups of coffee in the kitchen like old friends. Quinn imagined that they were, in a way. Leroy and Hiram had told Quinn that night in the hospital as they talked of different things that Shelby had come to live with them for nine months in the guest bedroom. Quinn had been sharing a story about her own pregnancy when they'd brought it up. It made her wish that these men had been there for her, too, when she'd been pregnant.

"Dad, Daddy," Rachel said, making their presence known. "Shelby. I've done some thinking, and I've talked to Quinn, and I've decided that I would like to talk to Shelby if she's interested in talking to me. I assume that's why you're here, right?"

"Of course," Shelby said, rising from her seat. "I'd be more than-"

"Not now," Rachel said, holding a hand up to stop her. "Sunday. I'm not emotionally prepared for that exchange tonight. I hope you can give me that."

"Yes, of course."

"Good." Rachel looked over to Quinn for a moment before looking back at her taller, older doppelganger. "I have one other demand. You have to bring Beth with you when you come back, and you have to let Quinn and Noah spend time with her."

Quinn went wide-eyed and stared at Rachel while Hiram said, "Rachel Barbra! That's emotional blackmail, and we do not do that in this house!"

"I don't care, Dad," Rachel said, facing him. There was no anger in her, just a sad sort of resignation. "You don't get a say in this." Hiram and Leroy were both shocked, but it was Quinn that spoke up.

"Rachel," Quinn said, reaching out and taking her hand. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because… because Beth shouldn't have to go through the same things I've gone through," she said, looking only at Quinn. "She shouldn't have to wonder why her mother doesn't love her enough to be in her life. She shouldn't have to question that when it's clear you do. And Noah… I saw him when you were pregnant. And afterwards, when you weren't any more. I… and I apologize for saying this if I'm wrong, but I think when she was born you probably made all the decisions and took his away from him. And that's not fair to him or to Beth." It felt like a sucker punch, but Quinn took it because it was true. "She should know her parents. All of them."

Turning to the adults in the room, Rachel added, "And I don't care if any of you agree with me or not. I'm the only one here that knows what it's like to grow up not knowing their parents, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not when it doesn't have to happen. Even if it's just in a distant way, Beth deserves to know Quinn and Noah. To know that they care for her. That they loved her. I… I would have wanted to."

With one last look at her mother, Rachel turned and fled back upstairs, leaving Quinn facing a now softly crying Shelby and a surprised Leroy and Hiram. "I'm sorry," she said immediately. "I didn't know she was going to do that."

"It's okay," Shelby said, wiping at her eyes. "She's right. I've been… selfish… and it's clear that she needs me. I'll gladly bring Beth back Sunday if that's what I have to do to get to talk to her."

"I…" Quinn started to say something but she wasn't sure what it was going to be and let it drop.

Leroy walked over to her and put an arm around Quinn, hugging her into his side. "That's my girl," he said, smiling towards the way Rachel had exited. "Always keeps things exciting. Go up there and make sure she's okay, Quinn. We'll work out the logistics of things down here. And don't be too hard on her for blindsiding you. She's only doing what she thinks is best. Just like the rest of us."

"I know," Quinn said. She offered him up a half-smile then made her own exit, following the path Rachel had taken back up the stairs. In Rachel's room, she found the brunette sitting on her bed and petting Babs again.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel said, putting the cat to the side and moving from the bed when Quinn walked in. "I know I should have asked you first- and probably Noah, too- but I didn't want you to talk me out of it. I thought you might be scared about seeing her again. Please don't be mad."

Quinn shook her head and laughed a little, causing Rachel to stare confusedly at her. "I'm not mad at you. I should probably thank you, actually. I'm sure Puck will, too. I was just… surprised."

"I meant what I said. She shouldn't have to grow up wondering who you are," Rachel said, running the fingers of her good hand over her braced forearm and hand. "I know she's too young to know who you are right now, but… someday…"

"I get it, Rachel," Quinn said putting her arms on the brunette's shoulders. "It's fine. I'll talk to Puck tomorrow after practice and make sure he's over here. Thank you."

Rachel smiled her dazzling smile and Quinn melted a little. She was getting a chance to see her daughter again, and this beautiful woman in her life had done that for her. For her and her daughter. For all of them.

As Quinn and Rachel were getting ready the next morning for Cheerios practice, Quinn got a troubling text from Brittany. Well, troubling to Quinn, anyway. Rachel didn't see the big deal of it. Brittany simply asked Quinn if she could pick her up that morning and drive her to Cheerios practice with her and Rachel. Even when Quinn tried to explain to her that in the years they had been having Cheerios practices, since Santana and Brittany had met basically, that Santana (or Mr. and Mrs. Lopez before Santana had been able to drive) had driven the tall blonde to practice. It was apparently like an unwritten rule. Quinn being nervous about what that meant was making Rachel nervous, and, after the previous night, she kind of wanted a break from the drama. At least for a little while.

They made their way to Brittany's house where she popped out of the house and made her way down to the car. Rachel got out to pull the seat forward so Brittany could get into the back seat. When Brittany got to her, she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and held her for a minute.

"Hey. I'm sorry you had a bad night, Ray," she said sadly. "I wish I could have made it better, but I'm glad Q was there."

"Me too, Birdy," Rachel said, hugging her back. "But what's wrong? You seem so down."

"We're going to be late," Brittany said, untangling from Rachel and getting into the back seat. Quinn, who had gotten out of the car when Brittany got to them, shot Rachel a curious raised eyebrow over the top of the car. Rachel just shrugged. She looked into the car to see Brittany laying across the backseat.

Nodding to herself, Rachel climbed into the backseat with Brittany, laying on top of her and wrapping her arms around her. The blonde's arms went automatically around Rachel. Rachel put her head down on Brittany's shoulder and lay there. She heard Quinn mumbling, walking around to put Rachel's seat back down and slam her door before going back around to her own door. Once she was back in the car it was started up and moving, backing out of Brittany's driveway before they were on their way to school.

"What's wrong, Birdy?" Rachel asked, not bothering to pull away from the taller girl who she knew would keep her safe there in the back seat. A Brittany hug felt safer than a seatbelt, especially when she was laying on top of her.

The blonde beneath her took a deep breath, raising Rachel slightly before she said, "It's Santana." Her voice echoed through her, vibrating Rachel on top of her. Add to that the hum of the car beneath them, and it was weird, interesting feeling. "Last night at Puck's party, she said… she told me that she loves me. And that she wants me to dump Artie and for us to be together."

To Rachel, this was great news and for a split-second she wanted to celebrate with the tall blonde beneath her. The only problem was Brittany didn't seem to want to celebrate. And she had called Santana by her full name which Rachel had noticed between the four of them that Rachel was the only one to do that. She'd learned that whenever the other three did it, it meant something was wrong. Still, she had to ask.

"But that's… that's good, right?"

"It should be," Brittany said, squeezing Rachel. "But she was drunk when she said it." She paused. "And she said she didn't want to be out at school or to our families or anything." Another pause. "So I told her that I had already told my mom that we had been having sex and she got really mad at me. Like, the maddest she's ever been at me. And she cursed in Spanish a lot. While she was mad in Spanish, I told her that it was a good thing. That we could be out at my house at least. She said… she said nobody can know. Not even my parents."

"Oh, Birdy," Rachel said, hugging the morose blonde in her arms. "I'm so sorry. What happened?"

Brittany sighed. "I told her that I didn't want that. That I was dating Artie, and it wasn't right to dump him for a not-a-relationship. That just because she was drunk and horny didn't mean I was going to screw up my relationship with him again. Then she asked if we could at least have sex again, and I told her no. She yelled at me again in Spanish and started crying and ran off. So I… I asked Artie if he could call his dad and take us home. But when I was leaving, she was hanging all over Puck again, and I… I…" She started crying there in Rachel's arms and Rachel held her tighter. "She wasn't… she wasn't just using me for sex all this time, was she? She wasn't like… like the guys she warned me about, right?"

"No, sweetie, no," Rachel said, flipping them over as best she could so she could better hold her. Brittany buried her face in the crook of Rachel's shoulder and neck, crying into her fluffy blue sweatshirt. "Santana's just… she's stupid. And confused. And she hurts people when she's hurting. You know all this about her already. You know she didn't mean it."

"I don't know," Brittany said, muffled by Rachel. "What if she just wanted sex?"

"From you or from Noah?" Rachel asked, to which Brittany just shrugged. "From you, you know she wants more than that. She wants a relationship with you. She's just scared of it. Scared of what it means for her. Since she's Catholic, she was probably raised to think homosexuality is wrong. I've been reading up on Catholicism, and-"

"You have?" Quinn suddenly asked from the front seat. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Don't mind me."

"Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Rachel said sarcastically, tossing a look towards the front seat and drawing a subdued giggle from Brittany, "is that I've been reading up on Catholicism, and there are a lot of rules about sex, sexuality, all that. It's a deeply ingrained part of Santana. You forget that I've known her longer than you two put together. Since we were little kids. She's always been a devout Catholic even when doing stuff she knows she shouldn't. So being gay has got to be hard for her. Like she's fighting with God almost. As for Noah, I'm sure after being rejected by you she just wanted someone to not reject her. And Noah has never rejected anything with breasts and a pulse. I'm not even sure breasts are required. So I doubt it meant anything."

"I know," Brittany said, sniffling, "but it still hurt seeing her on top of him like that."

"Probably as much as it hurts seeing you and Artie together," Rachel offered.

Brittany was silent the rest of the way until they got into the parking lot. As they parked, she sat up off of Rachel and turned to Quinn. "Q, you're not allowed to be mean to San because of this."

"Britts, no one makes you cry. You know that," Quinn said, voice icy. "That's like the unwritten rule here at William McKinley. No one messes with you. Not even San."

"I know, I know, but…" She bit her lip, hesitant. "This is, like, inner-Unholy Square business. Not the rest of the school's," Brittany said. "We have to look like a super team even when we're not being one. We can't have chings in our armor."

"Chinks," Rachel corrected.

"Rachel!" Brittany covered her mouth. "That's, like, super racist. Mike and Tina are our friends!"

"No, no!" Rachel said, raising her hands. "It's a saying. Chinks are… I think they're like damage to the armor or something. Hold on." She reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, opening up her dictionary app. Typing it in, she found the word and read to Brittany. "Chink. A crack, cleft, or fissure. A narrow opening." Looking back at Brittany, she said, "I guess it means a place in your armor where it isn't secured."

"Oh," Brittany said, blushing slightly. "Sorry. I should have known better than to think you'd be mean like that. Maybe I should get that app?"

"It's okay, Birdy," Rachel said, leaning up to place a kiss on the taller blonde's forehead. "No harm. And that's a great idea… if you want to. But you're right. You three can't look like you have any… gaps… in your armor."

They both looked into the front seat at Quinn who rolled her eyes and huffed out a, "Fine. I won't take it out on Santana. But let it be noted that I'm not pleased about this."

"When are you ever?" Rachel asked with a smile.