PLANS

Nothing goes as planned. You're never sure how things will turn out. Sure, you can plan your life and have goals to achieve but nothing-and I mean nothing- can guarantee you the success.

My parents always told me to plan ahead. Either it was for school projects or taking my first steps as an adult. You must have a goal, they told me. Sure enough I was captured by their persuasive skills and found myself planning my future. They told me which college to attend, the year I should graduate, where to get my first job and of course- my mom's worry- when I should get married. Everything went smoothly except one thing. The marriage.

According to the plan I was supposed to be already married with a second kid on the way. Funny, how life turns things around. My parents never understood that you can never plan emotions and I surely understand that now.

I wondered back to the events three nights ago. My mind snapped back to that kiss and my fingers went to my lips. I never thought a kiss could be drilled that deep into your mind. I hadn't stopped thinking about it since it happened. When I got home Alec was already asleep and thank God for that because I wouldn't know what to answer him when he'd see my face. I thought of Jace. Where is he now? What was he thinking? Did he like the kiss as much as I did? Questions I wanted to know the answer and at the same time I feared to ask.

When I first meet Jace I hadn't felt anything for him but as I got to know him I liked him more and more. I can't deny that. But where was he according to my plan? I wasn't supposed to have those feelings for any other guys except Alec. The one I was supposed to marry.

Sure the feelings must be merely there. I am just excited that someone expressed an interest on me, that's all. Then why was I gripping my phone so hard that it could break in any minute, hopping it would ring? Another question I couldn't handle the answer.

My whole life, I was never the one to debate about things. My parents were always there to guide me and make my life easier by choosing my path, so I never developed those skills and self defence I needed to survive in this world. But then I found Alec and that was close to taking my parents place.

My parents were so happy when they first met him. They really liked him and thought he was one I should keep, just because he was just like them. All about plans and choosing, something I lacked.

"Clary?" Alec called me and I snapped out of my reverie.

"Huh?" I turned to face a puzzled Alec.

"I said, what do you think about a live band?"

"Em... I don't know. Let me think it over a little." I said and got up and put my plate in the sink.

"Are you feeling ok?" Alec's worried voice said.

"I'm fine. Why are you asking?"

"You just seem... off today. I was wondering if the wedding is too much for you now. You know we can always..."

I hugged him hard closing my eyes feeling him for moment, "The wedding will go as planned," I dragged myself and looked at his face. "Nothing is wrong. Don't worry. I just... I think I'm anxious about the wedding that's all." I said smiling at him.

He returned my smile, "Are you still going out tonight?" I nodded.

"Isabelle and Aline will be here soon. I need to get ready." I moved from his embrace. "What about you?" I yelled from our bedroom.

"Sebastian will be here to watch the game."

"Simon isn't coming?" I wondered. He never missed an opportunity for this.

"He wasn't feeling well." Alec ran his hand through his chest shrugging as I came back to him. "I think he and Isabelle aren't going well."

"Could you zip this up?" I turned so he could face the zipper of my dress. "I didn't know there was something going on."

"Haven't you notice anything?" I frowned. When was the last time I saw Isabelle? I haven't seen her for at least two weeks. Why? Because I spend my time with Jace, that's why. "I thought you would know," Alec said.

"Nah. She hasn't told me anything. Are you sure of this? I mean you're not that good at reading people." I bit my lip and looked at my phone placed on the kitchen counter.

He was quite for a while. "Yeah, I may be wrong. I hope so."

Isabelle came and picked me up and now we were on our way to Aline's house. We all agreed to use one car. Parking was terrible in this part of New York.

"So you guys are still coming to Mangus' birthday party?" I asked Isabelle. Most of the ride to Aline's house was in silence. Her face didn't have the usual glow it had.

"I don't know," she said as we stopped for a red light. "I may be having something at the gallery."

"Come on! You wouldn't possibly want to miss little Magnus? Besides, Aline will need our help with all those little ones," I said to her as we stopped for a red light.

"Magnus is going to turn four. How much do you think he'll remember when he gets older?" she looked at me. "Not much and especially not me at his birthday party." She turned around and moved the car forward.

"How is Simon's comic coming up?" I looked at her stiffen and her hands got still for a moment before relaxing them. "He told me last time that he is almost finished with it," her posture didn't change. "This also reminds me that you bailed on me for those invitations that day," I added.

She gave me a smile this time. "You didn't think I would actually come, did you?"

"Of course not and thank god for that. You would probably end up making out with Simon at the sofa," I laughed it off. She barely smiled back.

We passed a couple of intersections saying nothing more but I wanted to ask her about what Alec had said to me earlier. It bugged me that I hadn't figured out this sooner. I could tell that something was bothering Isabelle but she wasn't willing to show it. Or at least she tried to.

After we picked up Aline and reached the restaurant, we sat at the bar waiting for our table to get ready. Tonight was a bridesmaid's night. It was all about us. Of course it was also a way of celebrating the fact that most of the details about the bridesmaids were done. The only thing that mattered was for them to sort out who was going to be my maid of honour.

"And of course, your bachelorette party!" Isabelle said to me.

"Sebastian keeps asking me who the best man will be," Aline said to me.

"Ask Alec. He's not telling me either," I glanced at Isabelle. "And don't even think about getting strippers. The party has no strippers policy."

She grinned. "I know about your rules Clary. But let me tell you that rules are meant to be broken." I gave her a look.

"Really? Strippers? How come I didn't have any strippers at my bachelorette party?" Aline asked.

"Because we knew Sebastian would be crushing the party." Isabelle answered her.

"You knew? How come I'm learning this now?" Just then the waitress came in and moved us at our table.

The rest of the night went smoothly and Isabelle was more than ok. She seemed a little relaxed and more conversational than in the car.

"Isabelle, I wanted to ask you something," I started. I grasped at the opportunity while Aline was in the restroom so we could alone.

"What?"

"I was just wondering if things between you and Simon are ok." I noticed her sigh at the sound of his name.

"You picked that up, haven't you?" I had Alec to thank for.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing really. I'm just... you know... you getting married... Aline having Magnu's birthday... I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting a little." She shook her head as to clear her thoughts and added, "Yeah, that's probably it. Just overreacting."

I looked at her trying to figure out what exactly was bothering her but my instinct seemed to scream it to me. "You're saying that you want to g..."

"I'm not saying anything." She glanced at Aline that was on her way to our table. "And for the record, I and Simon are fine." By the sound of her voice I knew better than to insist on finding out more.

We were almost finished with our dinner when I noticed him. He was sitting a few tables over with another two men. I should have recognized him sooner with his blonde hair standing out. He seemed to be in deep conversation with them. He was nodding eagerly but then he started speaking fast using his hands. The guy's jaw tightened and I thought they were fighting over something but then they started laughing. He got up and went to the restroom.

"Where are you going Clary?" Isabelle asked me but I waived her off. I followed the direction he took and ended on a hallway leading to the restrooms. I contemplated what should I do. Waiting for him would seem bizarre and I didn't want him to think that I followed him. As far as I know he isn't aware of me being here and then what would I say to him? Before I could think of anything he blurted out of the restroom nearly crushing on me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you there," he looked surprised. "Clary?"

"Jace?" He smiled.

"What are you doing here?" He looked me once all over resting his eyes briefly on my lips. So he still remembered.

"I'm having dinner with my friends Isabelle and Aline. What are you doing here?"

He grinned. "You really didn't saw me over there? Because I did."

"Excuse me." Someone said and passed through us.

"I'm meeting up with a client but if I had known you would be here I wouldn't have come."

"Why?" I said disappointed.

"I couldn't concentrate." His eyes boring mine. Then his face changed into something I didn't expect. Regret. "I have to get back. It was nice seeing you." He left me there literally not knowing what happened.

I returned to the table rather confused. I hadn't expect that from Jace. I though since we kissed we shared something, but he acted like nothing happened.

"The dresses will be delivered a week before the wedding." Aline was going through the details once again making sure I hadn't forgotten anything. "Clary will send off the invitations next week, which also mean you have to make the sitting plan for the venue. The decoration-most part of it- is already picked. So which one did you pick Clary?" I was still searching in my mind for a reason why on earth Jace would act like we hadn't kissed when Aline asked me something. I couldn't pay attention to her and I wanted so badly to turn my head and see him. But that would show him that I cared. And I didn't care.

"Sorry, what did you say? I was thinking about the wedding", I lied.

"I was going through the details about the wedding. I'm sure you know better but I wanted to make sure you know what you have to do." Since my mother passed away last year I couldn't count on her for the wedding so Aline had jumped in to fill the blank.

"She still needs her wedding dress." Isabelle pointed out.

"Holy crap! The most important thing and I forgot it! Of course. Clary," she gave me a look. "When do you think it's the time for you to find one?"

I looked at her without knowing what to answer. To be honest I hadn't thought of that at all. I was preoccupied with all the other details. I was slowly planning this wedding but I had forgotten my dress. I had my Wedding Notebook to note everything but most of them had to be confirmed for the day of the wedding. I hadn't actually made them all happen.

"We still have time," I answered her.

"Clary you have 6 weeks before the wedding. You must act soon. Now that I'm thinking of that, we'll go together this weekend. There must be something that you'll like. I nodded and turned towards Jace's table where he had turned his back to me and I couldn't see his face.

Once Isabelle dropped me outside my apartment; I texted Maia asking for his address. It was a little over 11 and Alec wouldn't be waiting me up since he had a big case tomorrow and hoped Maia was still awake. I had to get to him one way or another. I had to know if it meant something. I had my wedding to think of and not Jace. Maia answered including a lot of questions which I ignored. I didn't have time for that. It was other now or ever. I could easily pretend that it didn't happen, erase his number from my cell phone and continue my life as it is. I grabbed a taxi.

I found out that he was living very close and I could easily have walked the distance but I was afraid that I would change my mind and go. The taxi on the either hand had to take me there. I got of it and climbed the stairs of his building. Taking the elevator gave me a few moments to ease my breath and prepare for... What exactly I didn't know.

I went to his red door. The number 89 was imprinted on it in gold. I took a deep breath and knocked. I didn't hear any shuffling on the either side and my heart eased a little. I wasn't sure if I should be here and if he wasn't here I could just pretend I did my part and moved on. The door opened and found myself wanting to run but his stare held me there.

He had just showered. I could see the droplets of water on his bare chest and his hair glistering from the water. He was barefoot just wearing sweat pants.

"Clary!" he said and stood straight running his hands through this golden hair. "What are you doing here?"

I stood there just watching him, hoping I would come up with a good excuse but my tongue slipped. "I wanted to see you." He watched me carefully and let the door slide open. Without thinking I passed through the door.

His house was nothing as I thought it would be. I imagined his house to be artistic as he is, filled with photographs and modern at the same time, but it was far from that. It was empty. Well not empty from furniture but empty from personality. It was simple as it could be. The walls were white, nothing hanging on them. I was in the living room were only a leather brown couch existed and a large TV. He was a man after all. There were no decorations or anything to show that he lived in this apartment.

I walked slowly around feeling his gaze on my back. There weren't much light and the only source of light was coming from his bathroom and the kitchen's small light. I turned to face and he was standing very close to me that it startled me.

"Nice apartment you have here," I said not knowing what to say. I had lost my trail of thought once I saw him.

He shrugged, "It's good for its purpose."

I looked around trying to find something to tell him. The things I was thinking coming over here had evaporated and there was nothing left. "Why, did you come here?" he asked again.

"I told you I wanted to see you."

"You picked a strange hour to visit me." I hadn't stop to think about that, "but I like it." He finished. He stood there waiting for me to speak up.

"You haven't called," I said to him. "I was thinking that... I mean..." I turned my eyes down, "the other night... em... so..." I looked at him standing there trying to hold a smile. "I better go. Sorry for coming all the way here-" but I didn't have the chance to finish my sentence because he spoke.

"And I was waiting for you to call. If I remember," he took a step towards me, "you were the one to call back."

"Yeah, about that... you see..."

"But instead you came which I like better. I guess my presence at the restaurant did the trick." He was so close now that I could smell his body shower. It was scented apple and something else. He had also shaven and I could almost feel the softness of his jaw, his breath tickling my neck but he didn't move to kiss me. He was leaving that choice to me. All I could do was take it or leave it.

He came ever closer slightly touching my lips, teasing me and all I could think was him. I kissed him and eagerly he kissed me back. This kiss was hungry and greedy and I couldn't stop my hands from roaming him. Nothing else existed in my mind at the moment, just the need to be near him.

We broke our kiss gasping for air but his hands never left my face. "Clary," he simply stated with a huge grin on his face. Even though it was dark in the apartment I could see his face glowing just by looking at me.

"So you wanted you show me than to call me?" he said between kisses.

"I wouldn't be that confident." He smirked and kissed me even more.

What I did next, was something I would regret in the morning.