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I woke startled from my dream and tried to make sence of it. How could I have a sex dream about her and then try to claim to be straight? I buried my head in my pillow. How am I going to face her at school today?
I got up and started to get ready hoping she just won't be at school today. The image of her filled my head. Lesbian or not she's beautiful. She's a good two or three inches taller than me, long brown hair and blue eyes guys would kill for her. What's wrong with me?
When I came downstairs after taking a quick cold shower, to wake myself up, and brushed my teeth only moms were downstairs. Oh I should have taken longer.
"You're down quickly" Lena remarked shocked. I can't tell if I'm the only one who can feel the tension in the air.
"Yeah woke up early" I said pouring a cup of orange juice.
"You ok?" Stef asked awkwardly. I may have my back to them but I can tell Lena is staring at Stef now.
"Fine" I said but I feel like crawling back in bed and going to sleep.
Jesus came downstairs as mom wished me luck.
"Luck for what" he asked almost running into me on his skateboard.
"Off the skateboard and its none of your business" she said and I know she only made matters worse. Now he's curious.
On our way to home room he started questioning me.
"What's going on?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.
"None of your business" I repeated but I know he isn't going to budge.
"Come on now, Mariana. You know that isn't going to work on me" he said immediately going all protective.
"It's not a big deal..." He glared at me. "Don't make it a big deal but a kissed Sarah last night" I avoided eye contact.
He grabbed my arm,"what"
"It's not a big deal... I was just experimenting besides it was either her or your girlfriend" he gave me a weird look.
"Ok don't kiss my girlfriend that would be awkward." He said. "Wait isn't Sarah gay?"
"Yes that's the problem" I said as we arrived at my locker.
"Well good luck with that... Wait did you like it?" Seriously sometimes I Can't stand my family.
"Homeroom is going to start soon, I'll talk to you later" I said ready for this day to be over.
Sure enough she came to my home room.
"Hey honey" she said in no attempt to say it quietly.
"Shh... people will hear you." She looked briefly disappointed.
"Ok come to the bathroom with me" she pulled me up and to the bathroom. She's not the type of person you say no to.
"Are we ok?"reste asked as if we existed.
"Does we exist?" I said harshly before regretting it.
"Well I thought since... I'm sorry. I'm so stupid I should have known..." I felt even worse.
"No you're not stupid" I said and she started to walk out. Lesbian or not I can't lose her.
"No" I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to me. Just as impulsively as the first time I kissed her. It felt just as amazing as the first time.
"I'm sorry, I'm just confused" I said and she rested her head on my shoulder. Why can't this make sence?
"Ok? Well then I'll wait" she said then let go of me.
"We should go to class. I'll talk to you later, beautiful." She said. The rest of the day went by pretty uneventful minus the fact that all I could think about was her.
After the day was over I just climbed into bed hoping the tune the world out. Callie was in Brandon's room playing guitar so I lucked out and had the room to myself. After an hour mom came home and went into my room.
"Hey how did everything go today?" She asked sitting on my bed.
"Fine that's the problem" I said and she gave me a confused look.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"She asked me if we were ok and I asked if we existed. She started apologizing and said she was stupid and all that. She went to leave but I grabbed her and kissed her again" I explained and she just smiled.
"I said that I was confused and she told me she would wait"
"Honey maybe you're bisexual" she said. That never dawned n me. it never occurred to me that I could be bisexual. I thought I was either straight or lesbian, I didn't think that I could be in between.
"Yeah? I just don't know what to think" I said and she smiled.
"Yeah I know, kid. Did I ever tell you about when I met your mom?" She asked and I just shook my head no. I honestly haven't heard many stories of the beginning of their relationship. I've heard tons of stories of hoe they met and they beginning years but I never heard of the awkward time period where she wasn't still married trying to figure out her feeling for her.
"Well trust me you're handling this very well. At first I tried to ignore her completly, I knew I felt something for her that was past friendship, and that scared me. So I thought my feelings for her would go away if I stayed away from her. It was pointless though Because we kept running into each other and your mom's persuasive. The first time I was at her house, which even though she will deny it she tricked me into it, one thing lead to another and I ended up kissing her. After it happened I apologized and then ran out of her house slamming the door in her face. The next week she called me like a hundred times and I ignored like a hundred times. When I ran into her in public i would simply turn around and walk away. I knew I was hurting her but I couldn't face her. Brandon knew her through school and the second time I saw her in public it was with Brandon and Mike, talk about awkward." I laughed. Yeah that has to suck.
"She acted like nothing happened and was very polite. When we had to meet to talk about Brandon at school she acted professional but I could see the hurt on her face. It was killing me and I knew I had to do something about it so I invited her to coffee and surprisingly she accepted. After some small talk I apologized and told her I didn't know what was going on. I didn't even finish the thought when she told me she understood what I was going through. She told me that when I was ready to call her and then she left. I spent a couple of days almost calling her then not and calling her and when she picked up freaked out and hanging up. Eventually I got the nerve to call her and we scheduled a dinner date and then from there it get to complicated to talk about. Anyways you're doing pretty good actually" she told me as I tried to think what I was supposed to get from that.
"Thanks mom that helped."I said and she laughed.
"Whatever happens you know we love you and if something happens between you and this Sarah girl. Stop it because she's two years older than you" she lectured me.
"Mom!" I rolled my eyes.
"She has to meet me first if she's dating my little girl and I will be in uniform and I will interrogate her" oh my god is she serious?
"Get out of my room" I yelled and she laughed.
"Ok, but mark my words I will do it." She threatened.
"Oh I don't doubt it" I said miserably.
"Alright get your homework done supper should be done soon. Oh and you better not sneak out to see your girlfriend" she joked as I blushed.
"Mom get out" I ordered but couldn't help the smile on my face. I really couldn't have asked for better moms, especially in this situation.
first of all, Merry Christmas. Consider two chapters in one day my Christmas present to you because that may never happen again.
Secondly, this will probably be a couple more chapters so keep reviewing.