A/N:

I have nothing to say about the last episode of Glee except that I cried a lot. Lol. And Blaine should have kicked the leader of Throat Explosions ass. xD

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of its characters. Not happening...ever.

Warning: Language, Underage Drinking

One week.

One week until everyone would be in their dresses and ties. Until all eyes would be on them walking down the aisle. Until Kurt and Blaine would become legally married. One week until they would be married. And boy did that word sound scary.

Kurt had been frantically running around and turning into a groomszilla the past month and was starting to scare everyone. He even made Tina cry (which wasn't very hard to do, but still). Blaine was going crazy too. Well not crazy exactly, but enough that people had noticed. But he of course hid his feelings a bit better than Kurt and that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"Blaine should I choose the silver or blue bow tie?" Sam asked.

Blaine put his head in his hands. "Silver? No blue, Kurt's eyes are blue. But wouldn't it be better to do silver? Ah!"

Sam put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Okay, I'll just ask him."

Blaine's eyes snapped open and he pushed back. "No! He'll think I can't handle it which means I can't handle a commitment, or love, or children-" He rambled.

"Blaine! Chill..." Finn said as he stepped in.

"Why are you all yelling at me!" Blaine exclaimed and ran out of the store.

This was an example of Blaine's way of 'handling things'. But who said Kurt's was any better?

"No! I need the blue frosting lined up better, I am not running a circus here." Kurt practically barked at the poor cashier who had shown him his wedding cake sample.

"Sir, this is only a sample cake, we-" She began.

"I don't care if it is a damn trashcan cake, I want it right!" Santana had to literally drag him out of the store.

"Kurt, you need a break. Spa?" Rachel asked.

"I don't have time! I need to pick up the dresses and the center pieces and-" He listed off.

"You're coming whether you like it or not!" Rachel ordered him.

Kurt just mumbled something about supporting bridesmaids under his breath and reluctantly agreed. He knew he needed it.

So now the day was Saturday and it was exactly seven days until the big day. Seriously, exactly seven days. Kurt had count down to the minute and hour, that's just OCD for you.

"We're throwing a bachelor party." Santana stated.

The girls were all in Rachel and Brittany's apartment once again. Kurt had had everyone fly out to New York the night before for wedding rehearsal and the wedding. And now Santana, Rachel, Brittany, Tina, Mercedes, and Quinn were arguing about this so called 'bachelor party'.

"But Kurt said he didn't want one." Tina intervened.

"Hummel doesn't know what he wants half the time. Not throwing a bachelor party for a wedding is like people going to a strip club just to drink. No, it's not satisfying is it?" Santana argued.

"Easy to say when you work at a strip club!" Rachel snickered.

"Can it hobbit, are you all in it or not?"

They all looked at each other and then Mercedes stood.

"I'm in." She walked over to Santana.

"Me too!" Brittany then walked over to Santana.

"Tina and I as well." Quinn said and the two walked over to her.

Rachel looked at them all in disappointment.

"This is your chance Barbra, you in or not?" Santana asked.

Rachel crossed her arms and reluctantly walked over. "Fine! But if Kurt gets angry about it it's your head."

Santana laughed. "Well, I mean Kurt's in to guys and stuff. I'm not sure he would want head from-"

"You know what I ment!" She huffed.

"Calm your tits I'm just messing around." Santana said, "Now, let's get serious. I have high expectations of this bachelor party. While you girl's were planning your dream ball gown I was planning my dream cocktail dress to wear to a bachelor party.

"Now I'm going to assign you all things. Tina, Quinn you're in charge of the venue, Mercedes and Rachel, you're in charge of the food. And Brittany and I will get the decorations and entertainment." She smirked evilly.

"Oh no boo, you better not do what I think you're-" Mercedes began.

Santana put her finger up. "Oh boo yourself Destiny's Child. I'm in charge of this since Berry over here decided she wasn't going to be a good Maid of Honor."

Mercedes just sunk back into her chair and crossed her arms.

"Now everyone get up and form a circle." Santana instructed. They all reluctantly formed the circle.

"Put your hands in," They all did it, "on three 'We are the bitches'!"

They all cracked a smile, even Rachel.

"One, two, three!" Santana shouted.

"We are the bitches!" They said it all together and raised their hands in the air.

Pairing with Santana for anything was a bad idea. Pairing with Santana for a party was even worse, and pairing with Santana for a bachelor's party was a death sentence.

What had they gotten themselves into?

"I just got off the phone with Santana, we're apparently throwing Kurt and Blaine a bachelor party." Puck informed everyone.

They were staying in Santana's apartment for now. The wedding was expensive enough as it is so Santana would stay at Rachel and Brittany's place while the boys stayed at hers. Santana had reluctantly agreed with much protest informing them that if they messed anything up she would chop all of their balls off in their sleep. Needless to say they were being extra careful.

"And she needs our help because?" Sam asked.

"Because we have to go and she needs me to get liquor." Puck said.

Finn perked up immediately. "Wait, we have to go to Kurt and Blaine's bachelor party? Isn't there going to be like... penis balloons and stuff?" His cheeks flushed a bit.

"Dude, I told Santana not to do all that stuff. It's going to be nice and innocent." Puck reassured

Artie wheeled in the room from the kitchen. "When have you ever known Santana to be innocent?"

Puck sighed. "Point taken."

"Guys, just suck it up. This is one of the last times we will all be here and together with them." Mike added.

Sam looked like a lightbulb went off in his head. "Wait, I have an idea. Hand me your phone Puck."

Puck handed Sam the phone with a questioning look. Sam dialed in a number and waited.

"No Noah, I don't want to sleep with you-" Santana said from the other end of the phone.

Sam cut her off. "No- it's Sam."

"Samuel Evans, and what is the honor to which my favorite white chocolate decided to call me?"

"Listen Santana, I think we should have two separate bachelor parties." Sam suggested.

"And why?" She asked.

"Well for one, that's how it usually goes in a normal wedding. Two, Blaine and Kurt have different tastes and three, if Finn see's a penis he will faint." Sam said into the phone. Finn gave him a look.

The line went dead for a moment while Santana thought. "You're smarter than I thought trouty mouth. I'll take Kurt you take Blaine."

Sam did a little yes to himself. "Alright, and Santana?"

"Hmm?"

"No strippers." He then hung up the phone before she said a snarky come back.

"It's a done deal, now we just need to come up with an awesome party for Blaine."

They all smiled and began planning it out.

Sam was a pretty good Best Man after all.

Rachel, Brittany, Santana, Mercedes, Tina, and Quinn all were frantically running around the place for three days. Santana insisted this party be perfect and the one "Rachel will never have". So she got into feisty Latina mode and bitched everyone around. And by everyone, she ment everyone. The guys were practically going into cardiac arrest from the stress that girl was putting on her.

"I thought bachelor parties are supposed to be fun." Finn mumbled to Puck who simply nodded. Finn was holding his arm from where Santana had just smacked it, she was yelling at him in Spanish and Finn had no clue about anything anymore.

"I'm sorry!" He yelled out not really knowing what he was apologizing for.

"That's what I thought." Santana said and walked away.

With the bachelor party being tonight they could not risk anything happening, Santana couldn't have Finn running his mouth about all the plans to Kurt and Blaine. She had just gotten there in time before everything would have sunk…

"Hey Finn, what's up?" Blaine asked as he walked into his and Kurt's apartment.

Finn was snooping through some drawers which automatically raised suspicions to Blaine.

"Oh! Um- nothing." He finished lamely and looked at his feet.

Blaine frowned and put some groceries down on the table.

"Is there a reason you were snooping through my draws?" He asked.

Finn looked like he was going to die. "No! I mean, yes, but… I don't know!"

Blaine came closer to Finn and looked at him in the eye's. "Finn, why were you looking through my stuff?"

Finn couldn't lie, but he had to or else Santana would cut his balls off so he said the first thing that came to mind.

"I needed condoms!" He blurted out but imediently regretted it and his face went pink along with Blaine's.

"I- uh-" Blaine stuttered a bit taken back.

Santana burst into the room stopping the conversation effectively.

"Finn! Come here!" She barked and Finn obediently followed.

She brought Finn out and began yelling things at him in Spanish. Finn looked scared and Puck just stared at the flaming girl. She was yelling things like 'all I needed you to do was find on thing, idiot'. The normal. Finn was pretty sure she was going to blow up soon so he just yelled an apology. That seemed to shut her up, at least for now.

"Santana, calm down! We have to get Kurt now and you must have yourself regained by then." Mercedes tried.

She took a couple deep breaths. "Okay! I'm ready, show time girls!"

They went over the plan one more time before Santana and Quinn headed over to Blaine and Kurt's house. Quinn knocked on the door and Kurt answered.

They both forced tears to come out and Quinn began the script.

"Ku-Kurt, we ne-need you-" She began flawlessly.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Kurt asked alarmed.

"Ju-just come," Santana played along.

Kurt looked frightened and Blaine was coming out to see what was wrong.

"Hey, I can come." Blaine offered.

"N-no, Kurt." Santana fake sobbed.

Blaine looked slightly hurt but got over it.

"Alright I'm coming." Kurt said concerned and the girl's led him to a cab.

If it was one thing Santana, Quinn, and every girl in the world knew, it was that guys hated girls crying. It was frightening to them and Santana could practically smell Kurt's fear.

"Where are we going?" Kurt asked frantically.

The girls just remained silent and tried to keep the ridiculously large smirk that was making its way to their faces hidden.

Kurt continued to ask what was going on until the cab stopped. At a club.

Quinn and Santana grabbed his arms and rushed him in the rented club before he had a chance to react.

"Surprise!" Rachel, Brittany, Tina, and Mercedes yelled at once.

Kurt cupped his hand on his mouth and looked around. Although he hadn't originally wanted a bachelor party, he would admit how cool this was. Just his bridesmaids and a bartender were there along with him which indicated they had privately rented it out. There was a karaoke area near the dance floor and the space wasn't overly large. It was perfect.

They all looked at Kurt and thought he was angry.

"L-look, we're sorry. It was Santana's idea!" Rachel pointed to Santana.

"Shut it power puff! You were just as apart of this as I was so-" Santana began to argue with her.

"I love it! I love you girls so much!" Kurt squealed and hugged all his friends.

All of them gave a relieved look and the party started.

Blaine's Party

Blaine ran as fast as he could across the street to Santana's apartment. He would figure out what happened. He ran up the stairs and didn't even bother to knock the door, instead he just burst in.

"Guys what happened to Santana and Quinn- guys?" He looked around the apartment and found no one.

"Sam!? Puck!? Finn!? Artie!? Mike!?" He called out into the apartment. He went into the kitchen and found a note.

Blaine, we figured you would come looking for us after you found out what happened, please come to 118830 729th Street Court East. Hurry.

Blaine felt like he had just been punched in the gut. What had happened? And why weren't they telling him anything? They had brought Kurt along to.

What if someone kidnapped them? What if his 'friends' weren't who they seemed to be? What if- No, stop. No more 'what ifs' everything was probably just fine and this was some stupid prank. Right? Blaine wasn't going to sit around and wait though.

He didn't even bother hailing a cab and sprinted at full speed to the address, gaining more momentum as he went if that was possible. Track paid off…

Blaine didn't even notice he ran into a bar until he was there. He looked around frantically for any people and switched the lights on.

"Surprise!" Sam, Finn, Puck, Artie, and Mike yelled. They examined Blaine; rosy flushed cheeks, sweat trickling down his brow, disheveled clothing. Maybe they shouldn't have done this...

Blaine just stood there for a moment trying to process everything. They all got ready to apologize when they heard a laugh. Was Blaine laughing? He was.

"Oh my gosh! You guys scared me so bad. Turns out you're just throwing me a bachelor party." He said in between laughs.

"You're not pissed." Finn half stated.

"No, I secretly wanted a bachelors party but Kurt didn't so…" He trailed off and let it explain itself.

"Good cause we got a whole night planned! First, take this." Artie handed him a shot of whiskey.

They had taken many shots and drunken danced before they heard Puck yelling on the stage to be quiet. Once he got their attention he began.

"So Blaine, since this is one of your last night being free I thought I'd put a little something together." Puck smirked and a guy came in. He was shirtless and wearing skin-tight shorts. He was a very attractive man who looked to be in his early twenties, what was he doing here?

Oh,

Shit.

Damn.

Fuck.

"Puck!" Sam scolded.

"It's alright, he was cheap." Puck continued to smirk.

"No! I said no strippers!" They whisper fought.

"I'm sorry I didn't hire you for the job Evans." Puck said.

Ouch, that one hurt.

Finn looked like he was going to die and was very uncomfortable.

Everyone just awkwardly stared at each other so Blaine spoke up.

He struggled to find the right words. "Uh, your, um… services won't be needed tonight."

"I'm paid to give a great show, I give a great show." The apparently Russian stripper (determined by his accent) informed.

"Who engaged?" He asked.

Blaine stiffened up, even if this was his bachelor party he wouldn't do this to Kurt.

"His." Blaine pointed to Finn who was sitting right next to him.

Finn looked like he was going to protest and Blaine leaned down to his ear.

"Please take the bullet for me, I'll do anything you want. I'll get you back together with Rachel and that's a guarantee." Blaine bargained.

"Dude, come on." Finn protested.

"I'll throw in thirty bucks and two boxes of girl scout cookies." Damn, he knew all of his weaknesses.

Finn groaned. "Fine! You better get me with Rachel and I want my stuff tomorrow!"

"You have my word." Blaine swore.

"Are we ready? I don't have all night." The Russian stripper said.

"Yep." Finn cracked.

"Okay, my name Red Rocket. I have red hair so it make sense, no?"

Finn was about to get up and go but Blaine held up a picture of Rachel. Finn groaned and closed his eyes.

Everyone was laughing and Mike even recorded it.

Blaine couldn't help but laugh a bit too.

Kurt's Party

"How many more songs is Rachel going to do?" Kurt groaned. Seriously, how many times did this damn girl sign up. She was currently on her fifth song in a row (not counting her two duets) and was still singing her heart out. Even the bartender was slumped over almost covering his ears.

"Okay, my next song will be Woman In Love by Barbra Streisand." Rachel announced and everyone groaned.

"Excuse me while I rip that microphone out of the wall. I think it needs to be put out of its misery." Santana said and got up from the bar.

Not only did she rip it out of the wall but she pulled a razor blade out of her hair and cut the cord in half.

The while room burst into applause.

"Santana! That was very rude- thank you everyone!" Rachel bowed for the crowd.

They weren't clapping for her perse but it was a start.

"Okay, now that we got that horrid sound out of our ears shall we have some dessert?" Santana suggested.

Everyone nodded so she put her hair blade back and went behind the bar to the mini fridge.

She grabbed the box and everyone gathered at a table. All the girls got their cameras ready as Santana place box directly in front of Kurt.

"We got this to show you the opportunity lives full of! You will be putting up with this for a while so-" Santana began.

"You didn't." Kurt shot her a look.

Santana flipped the box open and everyone took a picture of Kurt. His face was pink and he looked embarrassed.

It was a penis cake.

"I can't believe you guys!" Kurt yelled. He wasn't angry or anything, just surprised. And then he began laughing hysterically.

The girls laughed as well.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road!" Tina said and handed Kurt a fork.

"Eat up, boo." Mercedes said with a smirk.

"Oh no. One, I can't eat all this. Two, no. Three, I'll barf and gain a million pounds." Kurt whined.

"You have to at least eat this part." Brittany said and pointed. Kurt blushed even more.

"Fine! One bite, and then you will all eat the rest." Kurt agreed.

He took the bite as quickly as possible nearly choking as he swallowed it.

"Someone's eager." Santana teased and Kurt gave her a look.

"Now eat!" Kurt said with a laugh and pushed the cake across the table.

Santana grabbed a fork and ate it casually out of the box.

"Mmm, been a long time since I've had this." Santana said.

"Santana!" Kurt scolded.

"What Hummel? I ment the cake." She said innocently.

Kurt rolled his eyes and took another bite of the cake.

It was good…

Kurt went outside to get some air and spotted Blaine across the street, he automatically ran to him.

"Hey stranger." Kurt smirked and hugged Blaine.

"Hey, I don't think we're supposed to see each other until the party is over." Blaine smiled and turned around to look at him in the eye's.

"What can I say, I'm a rule breaker." Kurt said in a teasing voice.

"Mhmm, well I might just have to teach you a lesson." Blaine joked and kissed Kurt on the lips.

"They should be a bit more secretive when planning. But I will say the way they got us here was good." Blaine said.

Kurt's smile grew even bigger. "I knew they were doing this anyway. We have great friends."

"We do." Blaine agreed.

"Kurt! Get your ass back in here and finish your penis cake!" Santana yelled from the bar.

"Yep, great friends." They both said at once.

A/N:

Sorry about the slow updates lately but with it being my graduating year of high school, it's pretty tough to keep up.

Please review! I love to read them.

Until next time…