Smoke. Gunfire. The beam so blindingly that you saw nothing but bright circles as you tried to pick your targets.

Bodies. So many bodies.

Rubble and Anderson, not breathing. The Illusive Man…also not breathing.

The boy.

In her nightmare, she shifted restlessly – habit causing her to try to roll on her side, to lift an arm and reach for Kaidan, but this was not her bed, it was too small, too hard, and when she tried to move an arm she found her wrist restrained. A gasp of alarm escaped her and she struggled against the bonds, disorientated, and then felt hands on her, cool fingers against her wrist and her fingers.

"Shepard, don't try to move".

"It's okay, Shepard, you're in the Normandy med bay".

Familiar voices stopped her movements, she fell back, becoming aware that every single inch of her body ached and protested as she forced her eyes to open, the lids flickering and then obeying – and immediately closing at the light that hurt and she turned her head away from the glare.

"What happened?" she whispered, her voice not sounding like her own, broken and hoarse. A mission? Earth? Was it…was it real then?

"It's over Shepard" Liara murmured reassuringly, stroking her fingers and she cracked one eye open very slightly, trying to adjust to the lights through just a sliver. For a moment she couldn't see anything, just whiteness, and then there was shade and vague shapes appeared. Slowly she blinked, managing to open her eyes fully, and taking in the scene.

Dr Chakwas on one side, a soothing maternal hand on her shoulder, the other scanning through screens that contained information Shepard couldn't understand. On the other side, Liara, holding her wrist gently, too lightly to truly restrain her, her other hand blocking out the light so Shepard might open her eyes.

"I don't remember. Tell me" she said, and there was a hint of her usual stubborn and insistent tone, and the familiarity of hearing her speak like that had the corner of Liara's mouth twitching with amusement – that even now, Shepard could demand answers and get them just from the force of her presence.

"You activated the Crucible…the Reapers are dead. The Citadel all but collapsed on you and we dug you out. That was…two weeks ago now. You've been in the Normandy med bay ever since".

"We always knew you were a fighter, Commander" the Doctor picked up, turning to offer Shepard a reassuring smile, without the shaky trace of emotion that was clear in the asari's expression. "But even I am impressed. You lay in the Citadel for three days before the crew managed to get you out. You've lost a lot of blood – although there were no shortage of volunteers offering to donate - "

"Kaidan" Shepard interrupted. She could tell she was injured, but if she was alive the litany of broken bones could wait. But as her senses slowly returned, as her mind sifted through the information and the confusion and sought to figure out the sights around her, there was one thing very clearly missing. "Where – where is he?"

"With Hackett. Safe. Unhurt" Liara told her, the barest bones of information but enough to convey what the Commander needed to hear right now. With a sigh of relief, Shepard closed her eyes and relaxed, unaware of how tense she had been – and then winced, the moment her muscles let go giving her another wave of aches throughout her body. "The Alliance lost a lot of people – well, in truth, everyone did. Every race. Almost every able bodied person, anyone not so badly injured as to be bedridden, is volunteering. Helping with the recovery of bodies, with burning the Reaper troops, finding supplies and planning how we rebuild. I understand that Kaidan was reluctant to answer the call…but…"

"I insisted" Karin cut in, still as efficient as ever as she now turned to Shepard, leaning over her face to study her eyes and the pupils although she continued to explain. "He didn't leave your side for a week, not to sleep, not to eat – James had to deliver him eggs in here – but it was not doing him or you any good. You saved the galaxy Shepard…but all of us will have to help to put it back together. I reminded him you never forgot your duties, he ought not to forget his".

The image was clear in her mind the same instant. Kaidan at her side, broken and suffering, unable to bear the thought of losing her again, knowing he left her for dead once before and was not there for her recovery and unwilling to repeat the situation. And Dr Chakwas, unable to work with him under foot, busy and worried and not helped by his questions, ordering him in the way she ordered everyone, arms folded as she gave him his instructions and banished him from the Med Bay.

"He checks in daily. Twice. I promised to let him know the moment you are awake" Liara said stepping back. "I should go do so now" she said, but hovering reluctantly before stepping forward and leaning down. Shepard was in no state to be embraced, too many fractures and broken bones, so she pressed a feverent relieved kiss against the Commander's forehead, a spot between bruises and healing grazes. "It is good to have you back, Shepard" she murmured with a smile as she straightened up, before leaving the room.

"Good to be back" the Commander murmured, her voice thick with sleep – Dr Chakwas having upped the pain medication entering her body the moment her eyes opened and the morphine in her veins was pulling her back to unconsciousness.