A Fan of Fantasy No More

"You lecture me on growling yet I at least, growl at living things."

"Sorry to burst your bubble but growling at living things is impolite, growling at inanimate objects is not only acceptable but expected. Also, growling tends to make the tech work faster."

"Not if there is no wifi to begin with-"

"I'm not trying to use your nonexistent wifi, Jareth! I'm, well, I'm overly irritated with a book."

She sighed as she noticed Jareth's attention was back on the scrolls all over his desk. An elven retainer that stood just behind Jareth glowered at her for her behavior towards his king. She blushed as she sat up in the cushy chair she'd plopped down on some hours ago. A little embarrassed that as time had worn on she'd unknowingly moved from a ladylike position with both her feet on the floor to one leg dangling over an armrest and her other foot braced against it so that her knee was bent above her head. Which had been resting on the opposite armrest with her hair spilling over it to pool on the floor.

Then again the elf could be glaring at her because she was wearing pants. The elves that served Jareth were always uptight and snippy around her for one reason or another. At least a vast majority of the goblins liked her, though so far Jareth and a handful of other high goblins seemed to be the only ones of that ilk that bothered to put up with her. Sarah turned her attention back to her e-reader, wondering how much longer she'd have to wait. Upon her arrival to his study earlier that day for her lesson, Jareth had informed her that it would need to be delayed until later that afternoon.

"A book, Sarah? You're not holding- Oh, your e-reader... And how has this book offended you?" It took her a moment or two to figure out what he was talking about. It had been some thirty minutes later when he'd taken up the conversation again. Sarah's eyebrows rose as the connection came. It surprised her that he'd kept track of where the conversation had ended given the distraction of the paperwork before him.

"Because you, your people, and entire realm embody all that is wrong with my realm's fandom."

"...Forgive me, but I occasionally have no idea what you're talking about. What is it that we've done exactly?"

"After having been to the Underground, toured around and met countless Fae, reading the stories that my people have written, reading what my world thinks of yours is no long enjoyable like it once was."

"Then why bother?"

"We'll some of them are really comical in their attempts... I was told that this one was really good but the goblins are blue, and it's not even something that could naturally be explained! There is no cause for them to be 'blue as a summer afternoon.' Why? I mean really, why? I think the author was trying to make his goblins stand apart from the rest of the typical goblin canon.

"I'm hoping the barmaid that decided to accompany the hero is actually in league with the villain. Barmaids don't typically know how to use swords in these kinds of stories though, so she's probably the princess. Which could also mean that the villain really captured the barmaid that was decoying as the princess. So the hero's probably off to save the princess for nothing because his quote unquote prize and future wife is beside him the entire journey. The villain should just send his dark knights to off 'em all while the hero is confused and bombarded with all the goblins swarming his camp..."

It was at this point that Sarah realized everyone in the room what looking at her. One of the elven retainers had a twitch going in the corner of his right eye like it was attached to a motor. All of the elves were scowling at her, the few high goblin retainers that were there were openly snickering, Jareth however, was trying very hard to control his laughter. He was succeeding but Sarah guessed that by the mirth in his eyes and the way he was gripping his desk, had his retainers not been there he'd probably be gasping for air from laughing his head off. On second thought he probably wouldn't laugh like that in front of her either. It made for a very interesting picture in Sarah's head though.

"Some of my friends liked it and suggested it..."

"I am truly so sorry that we've ruined your fantastical and fictitious views of our world, dear Sarah."

"It's okay, learning the history of the Underground more than makes up for it."

"You like our history that much?"

"Yes."

"...Then I believe it's time I take a break from the tedious and we begin our lesson. No, Arwel, everything that needed immediate attention was seen to twenty minutes ago," Jareth waved off the complaints of the elf with the eye twitch as he stood and led Sarah out the side door of his study, "care to accompany me to the Gallery, Sarah. If you're interested in learning histories, I might as well start with my own people."

"Is anyone blue?"

"No, however, a jilted lover did turn a distant uncle a very... interesting shade of pink as he rode into battle. A very shocking shade actually. The opposing force was quite dumbfounded and in battle where every second counts, their stupor was enough to win my old uncle the war. Much to the ire of the lady." Jareth led the way through the castle, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips as Sarah laughed.