The Choice

Chapter 13 Back to Reality Part 2
Song I wrote to: Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Monday afternoon found me sitting in my office waiting for the five minutes to pass that would mean I could get out of this hole. Looking outside the window I saw the heavy rain and sighed. I had forgotten my umbrella… again. I hadn't seen Jace since that weekend at his parent's house. Two weeks had passed and I hadn't heard from or seen him.

I had talked with Maia on the other hand and she had mentioned that she and Jace were going to be out of town for a week or so for a photo-shoot. That relaxed me a little because that meant I wouldn't have to face him. It was hard enough as it was.

He was walking away from me when I ran turning him towards me and planting a kiss on his lips. He was astonished to say the least but he relaxed beneath my hands and he let the kiss go on. Just thinking it made me feel like a teenager again.

"What was that?" he said raising his left eyebrow.

"That is what I want….but", I said my eyes serious, "but I cant have."

I shook my head. I had come back from picking my wedding dress. I felt my palms getting sweaty. My wedding was fast approaching. I had less than a month to say goodbye to my last name but mostly I had less than a month to say goodbye to Jace. I had heard from Maryse that he was going somewhere to Europe after the wedding for his job and he wouldn't be back for at least 6 months. That was a long time, which I guess was good. It would help both of us to clear our head and came back to reality.

The next day Alec and me went to order our wedding cake. We had a cake testing but my mind just wasn't in it as Alec's was. I could see him smiling excited about it. It made me smile but it didn't' reach my eyes. I noticed Alec the way he spoke with the woman helping us choose the cake. I noticed his shaved jaw. His lips that had drawn me in the first time I saw him. He was wearing his blue sweater today the one I gave to him last Christmas. It matched perfectly with his eyes. Eyes that were so happy right now.

"Which one do you think Clary? I liked the coconut one," he said taking a small bite from it again.

"Mmm… let me see," I said and took a bite too. "It's ok but I like the chocolate. I think I taste alcohol in it."

"Yes," the old lady said. "There is rum in it but we can remove the rum if you don't like it or combine the chocolate with any of the other flavours.

"No, I like it this way actually. Since Alec like the coconut could we combine the flavours? Would that taste good?" I asked her.

"Or we could make the layers of the cake different. Since we are having four layers of cake we could do two of each," Alec said his hand on his jaw.

"That's better because I am not really fond of coconut," I said and we later placed the order. The only thing left was to count the actual number of guests that were coming and we made the chart sitting.

Later that day Maia emailed me talking all about the stuff they have been doing the past week. Apparently things have been going extremely well and they would return sooner than planned. But that wasn't what gave me a jolt of guilt. It was her ending sentence. "So… why is Jace so depressed? Something happened?"

The next few days passed so quickly I had to stop and wonder what the hell was I doing. Alec started commenting that my mind seemed to wonder elsewhere and I couldn't afford that.

I was waiting Alec Friday night to come home from work. He promised me to go to the movies since it's been a long time since the last time we went and it was the movie I was dying to see. So I got ready and lay on the couch waiting for him. It was so quiet in the apartment that it made me jump up and turn on the tv. I heard a knock on door afterwards and run to open it half wondering if Alec had forgotten his keys. But what I saw in front of me surprised me.

"Jace?" I said not believing my eyes. He was supposed to be out of town. Surely they couldn't have been done that soon.

He was leaning in, his right arm resting on the doorframe. He seemed to take a big breath before raising his eyes to meet mine. "Clary," his voice was so low and intimate that it made me blush a tiny bit.

"Jace if you need Alec he isn't here yet. He is on-" He shook his head.

"I don't need him, I need you," he said and stepped in the apartment. I closed the door behind me more because I didn't know what else to do. His tone was very serious.

He turned and didn't waste a moment. He looked me hard and I could see shadows in his eyes. He came closer and placed his hands on either side of my face. He closed his eyes and touched his forehead on mine. My heart was racing this much only by this small connection our skins had, yet I felt even more. "Jace," I said my voice a warning.

He pulled back but didn't take his hands away. "These past days I haven't stopped thinking of you. I told myself that loving you is wrong in so many levels but my head doesn't seem to get it." Wait, did he just say love? Apparently I was overhearing things.

He shook his head as this would help get the words out. "I tried to convince myself, I really did, but nothing worked. Nothing. I even tried dating a couple of girls but the only thing I could think was that the girl in front of me wasn't you and that made me angry. Angry that Alec has you and not me. Then I became even angrier because he is my brother."

He signed and finally opened his eyes. I was frozen not only from his blazing gaze but also from his daring words. He was clearly admitting his feelings right now, right here in the middle of my apartment. I was so happy beyond words but then the real situation sank in and my happy feelings turned into despair. Why was he saying these things? Why was he here? Now of all times. It would only hurt him even more later on. I knew the pain. It wasn't easy to bear with it. I have been in pain since that weekend. It was something I hated but we both had to bare it.

He took another deep breath his breath tickling my nose. He was very close. Close enough to kiss him if I moved an inch forward.

"But I love you," his voice low almost soothing, "and I wont give up on you. I am on the point that I know that this will hurt Alec and possibly make him hate me but I don't mind as long as I have you by my side. So Clary don't marry him. Cancel the wedding and come to me." His lips touched mine. "Be with me," he whispered, "love me," and he kissed me so softly and gently I thought I would break. I hadn't realized the tears running down my cheeks until Jace started kissing them away softly calling my name as if chanting.

I had never really wished for anything or really asked God of something but at that moment I put my prayers to anyone or anything that was out there to make this moment last forever.

But as all good things have an ending at some point, I found ours came rather quickly.

The door started rattling and a very worried Isabelle came in. "Clary! We need to-" she stopped half-in the apartment and her worried face turned into shock and disbelief. She closed her eyes and shook her head, which gave Jace and me the time to put some distance between us.

"Alec," she started talking again avoiding my gaze. "He got into an accident. They are talking him to the hospital as we speak." Only then did she look at me. "I think it's serious," her eyes sorrowful.

I turned to Jace not quite registering what Isabelle was telling me. I could see his eyes now, clear and panicked which made me panic too. Alec had an accident and was probably dying.