They moved off again slowly, making it to a park before Kate slid her hand across her back, near the base of her ribcage, trying to use the warmth of her palm to soothe the pain.

"Mind if we stop for a minute?" Kate asked quietly, hating asking him for anything, hating that this injury still made her weak, motioning with her head towards a nearby bench.

"Course." Rick nodded immediately, watching her with concern as she slid slowly onto the seat, letting her find her place before he sat next to her. "You alright?" He asked quietly.

Kate smiled softly. "Yeah." She murmured, rubbing the area once more before slipping her hand out from the back of her coat until her hands were folded neatly in her lap. "Back still plays me up sometimes." She tried to play it off, but it had made him worry about her.

Rick regarded her quietly, confused and concerned. "I'm surprised a hairline fracture still hurts after five years, though I guess it is in your spine, so I guess that's different." He mused, thinking aloud rather than really talking to her, watching her carefully as she shifted until she could rest comfortably into the back of the bench.

Kate shook her head, rolling it to look at him. "It wasn't hairline," she murmured softly. "They misdiagnosed it when they first checked it out. It turned out to be a closed fracture, which then shifted and had to be plated to stabilise it." She told him, careful not to mention how it had shifted, not needing to give him any more ammunition to be angry at his daughter. She'd have to tell him eventually, she was sure, they would have to tell each other everything eventually, but for now she'd let it stay quiet.

Castle gripped her hand where it rested on her thigh. "Shit, that sounds bad, Kate." He said, hating that 'plated' meant she'd had to have surgery, and he hadn't even known, let alone been allowed to support her through it.

Kate shrugged a little, dismissing it. "It wasn't great. But I'm okay. They checked me over a couple of years ago, just as a final check, and decided to just leave the plates in, removing them could do more harm than good, could make the bones unstable or vulnerable. But they said it was a good job I'd left the force." She cleared her throat quietly. She hadn't been a cop for over three years when they had told her, but that finality of never being able to go back had stung. "One bad takedown, one wrong move, and I, well I could do serious damage." She murmured, shrugging as though that thought didn't petrify her.

Rick suddenly got this terrifying image of her paralysed from the base of her chest down and it sent a shudder down his own spine. He slipped his arm around her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her hair, needing to touch her. Kate startled a little, still not used to this much touching from anyone, let alone his touch, before sinking into his embrace, letting him support her.

They sat, just absorbed in each other for a moment, drinking in the reality of being in each other's arms again, before curiosity tightened its grip on Rick.

He gently smoothed his palm along her arm, easing her into the transition, lifting his head from where it had come to rest on the top of hers, gently teasing away the strands of her hair that had gotten caught in the stubble on his jaw.

"You okay?" Kate asked quietly, still unsure, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Castle nodded, giving her a small smile. "Yeah, just, before you worked together, who was Chester to you?" He asked slowly.

Kate sat up a little more, a little nervous now. "You jealous, Castle?" She joked flatly, trying to buy herself time before it got heavy again.

"Well, yeah." Castle shrugged, knowing that she was joking with him, knowing he could have taken the out, but seeing no need to be anything other than honest.

Kate nodded quickly, taking a steeling breath before starting. "We dated." She confessed quietly, feeling him tense a little beside her, though he didn't look nearly as heartbroken as she would have expected. "When I was at Stanford." She clarified, hoping the tension would leave him, but he only half relaxed beside her. "We met on a college tour and hit it off, started dating the summer before first semester, kept going for a few months." Kate sighed softly.

Castle watched her carefully, suddenly realising this conversation would be a lot more serious than he thought it would end up being.

"Then mom happened." She shot him a quick sad smile. "He tried, really hard." She murmured fondly. "But we had only been dating a matter of months, and we weren't a strong enough couple to sustain it." She shrugged. "We parted amicably, and stayed really good friends, him and his sister Leah helping me so much through that time." She smiled, twining their fingers, drawing strength from him.

Castle squeezed her hand, smiling tenderly at her. "Did the two of you ever consider getting back together?" He fished quietly.

Kate looked up from their hands, facing him with sad, kind eyes. "Castle, once I'd had you, there was never going to be anyone else." She told him softly, shaking her head at him ever thinking otherwise.

Castle let his smile go smug, knowing it was what would be expected, despite the fact her words had made his heart stumble in his chest. "Ruined you for other guys, huh?" He murmured cheekily, even if his heart wasn't in it.

"Castle," Kate started shyly, a loving smile playing on her lips as she gently cupped his cheek with the hand he wasn't holding, smoothing her thumb under his eye, making his eyes flutter for a moment, "you are my always, no one would ever come close to competing." She promised sincerely.

Rick's heart sank, suddenly knowing that he had to tell her, hating it, but knowing that it wouldn't be fair to keep it from her in light of that statement.

"I had a girlfriend for a bit, while we were apart." He confessed quickly, blood turning to ice in his veins as he saw the betrayal hurtle through her, as Kate slipped her hands free of him and folded them in her lap.

"Oh." She breathed, her heart in her belly, her stomach in her toes.

"Shit! I'm so sorry!" Rick exclaimed, reaching to catch the person he had just absentmindedly walked into on the street, far too distracted, as usual, to watch where he was going.

"It's fine." The woman smiled softly. "I wasn't looking either."

Rick looked up, his gaze drawn immediately to her sparkly sapphire eyes.

"Trust me, it was probably all my fault." He laughed, with a crooked smile. "It normally is."

The woman smiled at him, all brilliant white teeth and pink tongue. "Okay." She giggled. "Then it's all your fault." She joked.

Rick smiled. "Can I buy you another?" He asked, waving at her spilled drink, the cup rolling between them. Miraculous really that they didn't get any on themselves. "Can't deprive a lady of her coffee." He smiled graciously, his heart hammering in his chest.

What the hell was he doing?

"It was chai tea actually. I don't drink coffee, can't stand the stuff." She made a face, sticking out her tongue for emphasis and Rick found it adorable.

What the hell was he doing?

"Then I'll buy you a chai tea." He smiled. "As an apology, given that it was definitely all my fault." He chuckled, leading her into the coffee shop, a gentle hand at her back.

He had no idea why he was flirting, how he was flirting, but it felt nice.

And the fact that she was the complete opposite of the woman who had left him, in both looks and apparent mannerisms, helped tremendously.

Emma, he had later learned over chai tea and cakes, was a chemistry professor. She had three nieces under five who she helped raise and was close to both parents. She worked hard and was a wonderful person.

Rick couldn't really pinpoint when or indeed how it happened, but after a few weeks they were dating regularly.

He accompanied her to work dinners, because she was going to be bored stiff and wanted his company. She came to the loft for movie marathons.

They never talked about his ex muse, or the fact he was a writer who she had never seen write, or about the framed picture hidden in the top drawer of his desk, of him and three people she knew nothing about.

It was just fun and completely uncomplicated.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" She murmured softly, coming up behind where he was sitting on the couch. She ran her hands across his shoulders, letting them slip down his chest slowly, soothing him.

Rick laid his head back, letting his hurting skull be pillowed by her ample chest, feeling a little better now she was with him.

"I'm okay." He murmured, slipping his good hand up to hold hers.

He was eighteen months into therapy now, and his hand was nearly as fixed as any of them expected it to get, but he hated anyone touching it, hated using it to touch anyone else, especially Emma, her soft alabaster skin far to delicate for his rough ruined touch.

"You're lucky you're cute when you lie, Rick." She murmured softly, leaning down to press an open-mouthed kiss to his neck.

He hummed, slipping his hand up to cup the back of her head, holding her mouth to his skin, her ice blonde, pin straight strands sliding between his fingers. "Em." He hummed, drawing the syllable out, earning a small chuckle from his girlfriend.

Emma moved her lips, kissing up to his ear, and then down into the neck of his shirt. "So, you told your daughter and she didn't hate you," Emma murmured, sliding her hand to the placket of his shirt, slowly popping his buttons one by one as she continued to press kisses to his skin between words, "Your mother didn't say anything, the media know, and the world didn't fall apart." She continued slowly, gently pulling apart the sides of his shirt to run her hands across his chest. "We've been together for five months and you haven't been dragged down to hellfire."

Rick chuckled, an earlier conversation about how he would be dammed for all eternity if they rushed this coming back to him, as she had intended.

"No, that is all true." He murmured throatily, turning his head to capture her lips in a clinging kiss, cupping the back of her head more completely.

They parted with a pop, kissing quickly once more before he let her continue.

"And we have survived through you meeting my parents." She giggled, nuzzling his ear lobe with her nose, making him shiver.

"Right again, Professor." He husked, knowing him calling her that made her knees weak.

"So, I was wondering," she whispered slowly, gently sucking his ear lobe into her mouth, while her fingers flirted with his belt buckle, the furthest they had ever gotten towards finally consummating their relationship, "can I take you to bed, Rick?" She simpered.

"I do wish you would stop replacing me with fun and uncomplicated blondes." Kate pushed out harshly, wanting to be sick, needing to be sick.

The thought of him with someone else made her throat burn, her stomach clench, her vision swim.

Rick sighed deeply, regretting it all over again. "She wasn't a replacement, Kate, I wasn't trying to replace you. She, she was a distraction." He promised uselessly as he watched her just get smaller and smaller beside him.

"Yeah. That sounds familiar." She snapped, running her hand through her hair, leaving her hand tangled there as she turned away, putting her back to him, unable to look at him. She pressed the other hand to her mouth, clasping her face tightly, hoping to keep her coffee in her stomach.

He had the cheek to ask her about her relationship with Chester while the whole time he'd known he'd been with someone else?

"Yes, well, she knew she was treading on someone else's territory, when she tried to seduce me, and I moaned your name around her tongue." Rick snapped back, feeling the embarrassment flood his system just as it had that night, embarrassment, and guilt, at betraying Kate and at hurting Emma. He couldn't stop himself falling for her, hadn't really tried if he was honest, but he hated himself for hurting them both. That hadn't been his intention.

Kate was horrified by the picture of him kissing another woman, horrified even further by the second-hand mortification for him.

There weren't many things more embarrassing than calling out the wrong name.

"How did she take it?" She asked quietly, not really knowing why she asked, why she cared, but she needed to know. Something in her wanted the story.

Rick shrugged, slumping back into the bench. "Pretty well really, all things considered. She wouldn't look me in the eye again, but she told me that it was okay, that she understood, that she wasn't mad before she walked away."

Kate hated herself for the happiness that fizzed a little in her blood at the thought of herself being so ingrained in him, that he thought of her even when he was with another woman. That she had still crossed his mind even when he was trying to take another woman to bed. Not that she still wasn't feeling the betrayal of him actually being with another woman.

They both paused, lost in their own thoughts for a moment.

"How long did you wait?" She asked him suddenly, insecure and quiet, as she managed to turn back round so they were both leaned against the back of the seat.

"Wait?" Rick asked mutedly, watching the tears build in her eyes as she nodded, pressing her lips together to hold back the sobbing fit she could feel building.

"Before you invited another woman to take my place in your life, your heart, your bed?" She pushed, voice cracking deeply.

"Kate…" He tried, getting as far as glancing her hand with his fingertips before she snatched it from his grasp.

"Answer the question Rick." She demanded, some of her dormant detective persona leaking back in, the act coming back to try and hide her breaking heart.

Rick sighed, knowing no matter what he said it would hurt her, no amount of time would make her feel better about it. "About a year, maybe just over." He confessed quietly, dejectedly. "Does it help if I tell you that I honestly didn't expect it, or plan for it to happen?"

Kate shook her head. "Not at all." She told him honestly.

Rick nodded, he'd expected that. "Okay."

Castle sighed deeply, pressing the phone to his ear, having a feeling this call wouldn't be well received.

"Hello?" Jim Beckett's voice came across the line and Rick's breath stuttered.
"Hey, Jim." He murmured, his heart sinking, regretting this call already.

"Katie's not here." The older man told him, no nonsense, as he had been the last time the man had called him.

Jim still wasn't sure why his daughter's ex-partner couldn't or indeed wouldn't just call Katie. He would never understand why the man called him instead.

"Is she okay?" Castle asked quietly, leaning back in his office chair. He ignored the two fingers of whiskey in his glass, something so innately wrong with drinking while talking to the man that he hoped would have become his father in law, especially given his history.

"She's in California." Jim told him, knowing he was avoiding Rick's question but unwilling to tell him that Katie was far from okay.

"How's she doing out there?" Castle rephrased, something deep inside him needing to know she was okay.

Emma had just collected the bag of things she had left here the night of the incident, and the heartbreak on her face had gutted him. He needed to stop hurting people, but he needed to know that Kate was okay. He needed to know that she was happy, otherwise he would never be able to forgive himself. He'd snapped at her, hurt her, started all of this.

Jim sighed.

He'd have to give him something or he'd never get Rick off the phone.

"She's doing a fashion degree, working hard, looking for an apartment while she stays with a friend." He divulged slowly, not giving too many details away, but Kate hadn't asked him not to tell the writer, so he'd give him something.

He could feel the man's need to know something, even through the phone. But he would still say his piece, was still far less than happy with him, especially recently.

"Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you, and that is Katie's information to share, but she finally doesn't sound broken when we talk." He sighed, hurting for his daughter. "I know you have a new woman in your life, it's bad enough that the press knows. Please don't contact her and throw it in her face." Jim told him frankly, feeling a need to punch the man.

How dare he replace his daughter like that?

But Katie hadn't approved of that 'defend thy honour' streak when she was a teenager and she would approve even less now, he was sure.

"Let her heal from you if you don't want her."

Castle didn't have time to respond before Jim ended the call.