"I never got that message, Kate." Rick murmured, soft but urgent, squeezing her hand in his tightly. "You know I would have at least called if I had, even if I was angry with you, I would've called to make sure you were alright, but I never got that message."
Kate nodded. She didn't know that, not anymore. But she did know that he wouldn't lie to her while they were trying to fix everything. He wouldn't jeopardise the tentative progress they had already made.
Rick sighed softly, before standing and wiping his clammy palms on his thighs. "Are you alright to keep going?" He asked carefully, wanting, needing, to move, but knowing that if she was in pain, he would sit there all night.
Kate nodded, accepting the hand he carefully held out for her and let him help her to stand. "Where are we going?" She asked quietly.
"We're going to hail a cab, and then we're going to the loft. Alexis should be home by now, and I want a few words with her." Rick told her, already looking for a taxi.
Kate hesitated, pulling him to a stop, biting her lip when he looked at her quizzically. "Shouldn't you do that between the two of you? Shouldn't that conversation be private?" She asked quietly. She had never wanted to get between them, to adversely affect their relationship, had always been afraid of that.
"Kate, she messed with both of our lives. We should both be there." Rick insisted firmly, squeezing her hand, trying to reassure her.
"You're her father, Rick. This should be between the two of you, I don't need to be there to watch." She shook her head, taking a step back, pulling away.
"Kate," Castle murmured, closing the distance between them again, "I don't want you to watch. I want you to stand in front of her, beside me, and highlight to her how much more difficult she made an already devastating situation. I want her to have to look you in the eye when I make her explain to us what the hell she thought she was doing, and to hear any and all justifications she may have." Rick smiled at her tentatively. "I would really like us to try and get back to what we were before, and I think having this conversation with her, together, is our first step."
Kate sighed softly. "Okay." She whispered, nodding, closing her eyes, trying to drown out the fact that even though she always tried to not get between them, she had always been the elephant in the room, especially after the bomb. She hated that she had gotten in the way of parent and child but had to accept that Alexis' apparent vendetta against her was only partially her fault, and quite a lot of it was just Alexis.
Rick hailed a passing cab, holding open the door for Kate to slide in before getting in himself, reciting his address to the driver, managing to flash the man a smile he didn't really feel. This conversation was going to be awful, and he had no idea where he and his daughter's relationship would stand on the other side of it.
He and Kate were sat about as far away as they could be, without pressing themselves into their doors, and he couldn't help his heart aching.
He had spent five years without her, because of miscommunications, and now they had finally started to sort out what was real and what was perceived, he wanted her close. But he knew they had to take this slow. That Kate had lived thinking he had rejected her over and over and she needed time to come to terms with the truth, just as he did.
Rick sighed softly, leaning his head back, eyes closed, his hands clasped in his lap. "I uh, I came to California, about a year ago." He murmured softly, bringing Kate back into being present after being lost in her own thoughts up to now.
"Oh?" She enquired carefully when he didn't offer anything more.
Rick nodded, clearing his throat. "Yeah. Alexis wanted to go see her mom, and I needed the distraction, so I went out with her." He opened his eyes, staring at the dull grey of the cab roof. "I ended up at one of your shows."
"You came to a fashion show? For KC?" Kate asked, shocked, pulling herself up to sit more rigidly while she watched him. "When?"
"June time, last year. It was amazing, seeing your hard work brought to life." He murmured, smiling weakly but he wasn't able to give her his gaze, eyes firmly lodged on the ceiling above him.
He absolutely should not be here. This was absolutely the worst idea he'd had for a while.
But when he had heard about the show, he couldn't help himself, had bribed his way into the closed show, had bribed a bit more to keep his real name off the list. If he wanted Kate to know he was there, he'd tell her himself.
He couldn't help the bubble of pride that swelled in his chest, as he watched the dozen or so models walk the catwalk, showing off Kate's designs. He had no right to be proud of her anymore, not his to be prideful over, but he was still so very proud of her.
He watched, and listened, and read the information provided and couldn't help but be so enormously proud of her. She had done something that was so incredible, for so many people, and while he was always proud of her when she was a detective, always thought she had hung the moon with that gold shield on her hip, he couldn't help but be overwhelmed by her strength. Especially given that she had had to dust herself off and start all over again after the bomb and had still managed to find a career where she was making a positive impact in people's lives.
While functionality was clearly the main focus, KC Clothing's garments were still beautiful. High end materials and tailor-made fits all bundled into an actually reasonable price for what each garment offered. Rick was enamoured with them, would want to own them even if they hadn't been designed and created by his ex-girlfriend.
As the show began coming to its end, Rick felt his heartrate kick up and his palms start to get clammy, both dreading and eagerly anticipating when the designers would come onto the stage. He couldn't face her, couldn't wait to see her, was horribly uncomfortable and elated at the thought. And then suddenly there she was, an absolute vision in a royal purple waterfall dress, hand in hand with a tall blonde man in a grey suit and purple tie. They smiled. and said a few words each, watching the crowd, both of them were perfectly at ease, both on the stage and with each other.
Rick had always been intuitive, especially when it came to Kate Beckett, and he was pretty sure the man to her left was not a romantic partner but watching her so at ease with another man did sting, even if he knew he had no right to that reaction, not anymore and not after Emma.
The crowd stood from their seats to applaud the designers and Rick quietly left the room. He couldn't, no matter how much he wanted to, stay, and talk to her now. He was a coward, couldn't watch her flitting around the room, so perfectly her and not feel his heart break, so he left.
His phone was already in hand as he came to the lobby, KC's website loaded and his shopping cart full before he had even made it fully through the doors. He needed the extra help the clothing would provide, and he wanted to do some small part to help her. Once the payment had gone through, he took his cheque book out from his pocket and wrote a figure that he knew Kate would chastise him for if she ever found out. But she deserved it, KC Clothing deserved it. He signed and dated it, passing it to a member of her team with strict instructions to keep it anonymous. The young man nodded, eyes widening at the number and by the time he looked up to query if it was for real, Rick had fled the building.
"I saw you and bottled it, couldn't bring myself to talk to you, ran away, after writing a cheque and buying a load of your shirts online in the lobby." Rick explained softly, his mind still running through that day. He shook his head and turned to her, only to find a strange look on Kate's face. "What's that look for?"
Kate shook her head, feeling empty at the memories he was evoking. Hating that it seemed, once again, if they had just both been braver, and communicated, then this could have all been over sooner. "I thought I saw you, but I told myself I was imagining it." She sighed deeply, staring at her fingers. "I did that sometimes, saw your face places you weren't, but I hoped you would be." She murmured, no idea how much that thought was breaking Rick's heart.