Author's Note:- There are no flashbacks in this chapter and I think there will probably be less and less now as we continue. I have had a very terrible month and I couldn't write a word until yesterday due to sickness and personal tragedy. NYLF
"Alexis?!" Rick called as he pushed open the loft door, keeping his hand hovering at Kate's back, feeling slightly like a teenager afraid to touch his first date, but he didn't want to spook her again, and needed them both on their game for this conversation. It would be hard enough without having to manage on his own.
"Maybe she's still out?" Kate asked, unhappy to find how happy she was at the prospect. She wasn't comfortable with this conversation, despite knowing that it was needed.
Rick shot her a look, feeling her unease ebbing off her, before he heard a door close on the top floor of the loft.
"Dad? You home?" Alexis asked, flying down to the middle of the stairs before she noticed the ex detective. "I didn't realise you had company." She practically hissed, giving Kate a once over that made the elder woman's skin crawl.
"I do. Kate and I met at the memorial." Rick smiled, masking his displeasure somewhat well. "We've talked, a lot." He continued, pointedly, and he watched Alexis' hackles rise, her face blanching even as her eyes hardened. "We need to talk." He told her, voice hard as diamond and his glare like ice.
Alexis faltered for half a second before trudging down the remaining stairs and slumping into the couch. Rick moved forward, intent on joining her, but Kate didn't move.
"What's up?" He asked, quietly, standing in front of her like a riot shield, his hands coming to gently rest on her biceps. Kate shook her head. "Kate…?"
"I don't feel comfortable having this conversation." She murmured, unable to look him in the eye. "It's going to dredge it all back up, and cause problems between the two of you, and I hate that."
"Kate," Rick sighed softly, forgoing the boundaries they'd been flirting with and wrapping his arms around her, feeling her tense as his fingers met in the middle of her back, noticing, and remembering, when she relaxed as he lowered his hold, interesting. "Listen, okay? It's gonna suck, neither of us are under any illusions that it won't, but it needs to be done. Even if we just go back to being friends, we have to clear the air."
Kate nodded, reciprocating Rick's reassuring smile with a weak, watery version of her own. "Okay." She murmured, letting him gently take her hand with his complete one as they walked, as one unit, towards the couch.
"So, what, you two are together now?" Alexis asked petulantly, shooting them both the filthiest of looks, unimpressed when they both ignored her.
Rick sat on the edge of the coffee table, in front of his daughter, meaning he could somewhat stop her if she tried to leave, while Kate curled into the corner of the couch, her leg tucked under her, facing them both, but happy to be physically and emotionally on the side-lines here.
"No, we are not. You made sure of that, didn't you?" Rick was sure to keep his tone calm but honestly, he was more sad than angry. How did it get from where they were going, to Alexis hating his ex to the point she would purposely keep them apart?
"She left, while you were still in surgery!" Alexis cried, self-righteous. She knew that Kate was bad for her father and would make him see it if it killed her.
"Yes, she did. And she deeply regrets that. But I also told her, while we were trapped that it was her fault that my hand was damaged."
"It was." Alexis interrupted petulantly, not feeling the joy she'd expected when she noticed the former detective was crying.
"No. It wasn't." Rick continued, trying to stay calm. "She saved my leg, lifted a desk with a bruised lung and a spinal fracture."
"They equated it to hysterical strength, Burke did too." Kate murmured, wiping her face, and trying to ignore how all the attention in the room snapped to her. "They said it's like when mothers lift cars to save their kids and stuff. Adrenaline kicks in and you forget everything else, because, someone you love is in danger."
"You didn't love him." Alexis spat.
Kate huffed a note of laughter she didn't feel. "I was going to tell him just how much I loved him at dinner that night, but then the bomb went off and everything went to hell." She confessed, dragging her gaze to find Rick's, feeling the love and happiness radiate out of him and through her blood stream. "I didn't do enough, but I tried very hard to make sure he was safe before I left." She sighed. "My timing is always terrible, but I have loved your father for a very long time."
"Well I'm not sure being loved by you is all that great. You always made out that Kevin Ryan was family and you didn't even go to his funeral." Alexis tossed out, careless and determined to hurt, succeeding if the collapse of Kate's chest told her anything.
"How dare you!?" Rick raged, unable to keep it steady. "You do not ever get to throw that at her. Never."
"Well she didn't!" Alexis fought back, the ice in her eyes blazing.
"I did, actually. I came back for his, and for Jenny's. I've been to see them several times. Have asked for their forgiveness for not doing more to help. Kevin wouldn't hold a grudge, he doesn't need you to do it for him." Kate murmured, voice thick with tears but knowing in her heart it was all true.
"You called Kate and terrified her because she thought something had happened to me, and you used that time to tell her to stay away from us." Rick continued, needing to get it all out on the table, needing to get it all out if there was ever going to be any kind of resolution.
"I told her you were okay." Alexis murmured.
"Yes, and berated her in the same breath. Kate's actions may not have been ideal, but it was not your place to get involved." He told her in no uncertain terms.
"It's not like she was gonna ever come back anyway." His daughter shrugged, feeling like this whole line of conversation was a moot point. "She left, she was never gonna come back."
"Actually, I packed my things Alexis, was packing my bag while on the phone to you," Kate cut in quietly, "I apologised to you, told you that you were right and that I was coming home. You made it clear I wasn't welcome."
"You weren't." Alexis shrugged.
"Yes, she was, she was always welcome here and if you had consulted me before going behind my back you would have known that." Rick dismissed her.
"She's not good enough for you, she's a coward and she runs at the first sign of anything that isn't a picket fence…" Alexis continued, on the verge of angry, frustrated tears. She had done the right thing, why could no one see that?
"You are my child and I love you," Castle started, calm and trying to be patient, "but you have no idea what you're talking about. And you have no right to comment on this. You were not in that precinct like Kate and I were, and you have no idea what we have been through. She would have come home, we would have sorted this all five years ago if you hadn't stuck your oar in, and then you had the audacity to lie to my face, over and over, when I asked if you'd heard from her."
"You didn't need her, were doing so well without her." Alexis cried.
"I was drowning Alexis!" Rick cried back, losing his composure. "The only thing stopping me drinking myself to oblivion was the thought of how disappointed she would be in me."
Kate unfurled herself, pulling herself to sit on the edge of her seat, leaning over to clasp his hand in her own. "I would have been heartbroken, not disappointed." She promised softly, pressing her face into his palm when he dropped her hand to cup her cheek.
"You nearly lost one man to the bottle, I wasn't going to make you lose me too." He murmured, leaning in to kiss her forehead.
"Alexis," Kate addressed, sitting up a little so she could look at the girl steadfastly not looking at her, "my spinal fracture worsened, and my lung collapsed, and everyone around me wanted to call your father, but I had too much respect for you, was trying to keep your relationship with your father solid, and so I wouldn't let them." She told her softly.
"You never told me that." Rick murmured, a little tense once again at the thought of her in surgery and he couldn't be there.
"It wasn't," Kate shook her head, squeezing his hand, "I was so worried about you I broke myself." She shrugged, smiling self-deprecatingly. "I was fine after surgery, but I wouldn't let my father call you because Alexis asked me to leave you alone." She turned to the girl, trying to reach her even if she couldn't physically touch her. "I, I loved you enough Alexis that I needed to let your relationship with your father be my priority, even though I wanted nothing more than to come home."
"And yet you're still coming between us, still causing this rift between us." Alexis pointed out, sullen and stubborn.
"Actually Alexis, she has done nothing but defend you, all night, don't you dare pass this off like she is the only problem here." Rick lectured.
"She never even contacted you!" Alexis was grasping at straws and she knew it. "If she loved you so much why didn't she even call?"
"Well according to Kate, she did." He began sternly. "There was a voicemail that I apparently never received, and I am hoping with every fibre of my being that you had nothing to do with that Alexis."
She refused to speak, to even look up, but both adults could see it written all over her face. Rick felt his heart drop, even as Kate sighed softly, having suspected all along that this was what had happened.
"Oh god, Alexis really? Did you hate my being happy with her so much? Kate was very, very sick and needed me and you deleted her voicemail?" He asked, incredulous and hurt.
"You deserve better than her. You were moving on, dating other women, finally realising you were better without her…"
"I have never been nor, will I ever be, better without her Alexis." Rick interrupted harshly, his voice hard as granite. "She is the love of my life and I have never been so disappointed in you."
"Well fine then, pick her, I'll leave." Alexis cried, standing to storm off but both adults stood with her.
"No, you won't." Kate murmured, shocking them both, backing up while she spoke.
"Kate…" Rick sighed but she shook her head.
"No. This right here is why I stayed away. I will not be the reason that you lose your relationship with your daughter." Kate shook her head. "I love you, Rick." She gave him a small smile even as the tears tumbled down her face. "But I won't do this to you. I won't be the reason you lose your child."
Rick crossed the room, to her side, gently fitting his hands around her hips. "No." He leaned in, resting his forehead against hers, feeling her trembling against him. "You are not leaving like this."
"Rick, she hates me. I can't compete with that." She murmured, biting her lip to stop herself sobbing, just.
Rick sighed, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his chest, wishing he knew what to say. But she was right, how would they ever work if his daughter despised her?