THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE MAN AND THE MICROWAVE
Never let it be said that Fairyland isn't full of surprises.
Chapter 5
xxxxx
The cave was dank and cold.
In a strange kind of way, Dean was glad for that because it meant he could convince himself, as he sat here, shackled to the wall in the damp, gloomy confines, that his shivering was borne of the cold and not of fear.
The narrow mouth of the cave was covered by a heavy wooden grating, serving as a door, which didn't allow much light through. What little light was able to penetrate the blackness only served to highlight the fact that Dean's means of escape were nil and his situation was hopeless.
He knew Sam had been prevented from following him, and he desperately hoped that the younger Winchester hadn't tried anything stupid. With luck, the fairies had simply transported him back safe to the real world. He'd tried asking Puck but got nothing except a contemptuous sneer in return.
So now all he could do was hope.
Through the criss-crossed gaps in the door he could see the back of Puck, still standing on guard, bolt-upright in his dutiful attentiveness, and still hugging his precious pikestaff; the tight-assed douchebag.
Dean sat in glum silence. His shoulders had long since gone numb from the strain of having his arms forced behind his back for so long. He'd tried taking his mind off the discomfort by hurling some pretty imaginative (well, Dean thought so anyway) abuse at Puck, but the humourless dick hadn't so much as blinked, and so now, he guessed, it was the time to resign himself to the inevitable.
He had to concede, getting his head lopped off by a Fairy Blacksmith with an axe bigger than he was, was a spectacular finale, even by hunters' standards. It was just a damn shame he wouldn't be around afterward to brag about it.
The words didn't exist for how much fairies sucked.
xxxxx
Dean turned as he heard the jingle of keys. Was this it? Were they already coming for him?
The door swung open with a heavy rumble, but where he was expecting to see that vindictive little asshat, Puck, or maybe even that great ginger troll, Wayland Smith, the figure that stepped through the door was the last one in creation that Dean expected to see.
Standing before him was Titania.
He squinted, recoiling away from the vivid light that seemed to exude from within her, flooding the darkness around him.
"I come to offer a solution to this most unsatisfactory situation," she explained quietly in a voice that sounded like the sweetest music Dean had ever heard.
"Wha … uh, how?" he stammered stupidly, trying to rise on legs stiffened by the damp chill; "why are … where's Sam?" He eventually managed to blurt.
Titania smiled and her face lifted into a sublime expression that made her even more beautiful than she already was; "you have my word that your brother is safe and undamaged; he is back in your world."
Somehow, against his better judgement, Dean was satisfied that she was telling the truth; he looked up at the peerless beauty and blinked vacantly.
"Why d'y want to help me?" Dean croaked.
"You see, it is not just Oberon my King that desires you," she continued, a look of intense sadness crossing her exquisite face; "I cannot bear to think of such a head being struck from such shoulders.
Tears welled in the sparkling sea-green depths of her eyes.
"If you do not desire Oberon my King, could you desire me?"
Dean gulped. "Uh …"
She pointed an elegant fingertip in Dean's direction and he felt the handcuffs binding his wrists drop away, clattering into the cushiony moss that coated the cave's floor, to join the shackles that had fallen limply away from his ankles.
"I can offer you passage from my world and protection for both you and your brother. My touch will make you and by extension, your brother, invisible to my people; never again will you be troubled by the fair folk."
"Well, I erm …" Dean manfully struggled to regain the power of coherent speech as he stood before the magnificent queen rubbing his aching wrists.
"But what about him?" He gestured with his thumb toward Puck's station beside the door.
"I have my methods," Titania replied cryptically.
In the moment of silence that followed her words, Dean heard soft snores emanating from beyond the mouth of the cave.
"Oh," he replied; "cool trick."
"Of course," a wanton smile played over Titania's perfect lips as the tip of her delicate tongue peeked out to moisten them; "it follows that the more extensive my touch, the more extensive the protection would be …"
Dean's eyes rolled back into his head as his knees began to buckle; "I guess it'd be rude not to," he groaned.
Titania nodded sagely; "you are wise, man of earth; most wise." Dean barely noticed as she effortlessly pushed the door closed behind her.
xxxxx
It was six hours later when the door opened and the magnificent figure of the fairy queen swept out of the cave, smoothing her brocade gown about her slender hips, leaving a dishevelled, sweat-drenched figure sprawled in glorious, debauched abandon across the mossy floor.
With a click of her nimble fingers, her spent and utterly exhausted companion disappeared in a vivid flash of light.
Yes, Wayland Smith would be disappointed tomorrow morning and Puck would be disgraced for allowing his prisoner to escape. She smiled as she looked back to Dean's crumpled clothing, long since abandoned; and right about now Sam would be sitting in their scabby motel room being confronted with an image that would haunt his dreams for weeks.
As she walked calmly away from the cave, she paused, taking deep breath. Gradually her whole shape began to blur and morph, twisting, stretching and transforming until finally she was standing once more in her true form.
Oberon, King of the Fairies, will always have his way.
xxxxx
end