Months later, Raina was a bona fide Grey Warden and had nearly succeeded at rounding up all the troops they needed to defeat the Archdemon. She still thought of Tamlen – not everyday anymore, but he was never far from her thoughts. The Gauntlet to reach the Ashes of Andraste was particularly painful for her. It took her a solid week to get over what the Guardian and Tamlen said to her during the trials.
She'd fielded both the elf and the human's advances during their journeys. They were nice enough, even if the Antivan's background was a little…checkered, but they weren't Tamlen. Her lethallin.
The rag-tag group was currently camped for the night in a clearing on their way to Orzammar. Bidding her companions a good night, Raina bedded down and wasn't asleep for long when she had a vision of the Archdemon – and it looked directly at her! She bolted upright, instantly grabbing her dagger she kept hidden under her knapsack. Alistair nearly bowled her over as she dashed out of her tent.
"I had another dream about the darkspawn!"
He nodded. "Me too, and I got the feeling that it saw us. What does that mean?" She opened her mouth to speak, but he shushed her with a frown. "Did you hear that?"
Raina felt them then – soulless creatures on the edges of camp and then they rushed them. Ten shrieks descended on the sleepy camp, but they weren't defenseless and everyone jumped in to take down the darkspawn. The companions snickered at the feeble attempt of the spawn to kill them as they cleaned their blades. Alistair walked over to her wearily, "I guess it's like Duncan always said – we can sense them and they can sense us. This camp isn't safe anymore. We need to pack up." Raina sighed at the loss of sleep, but knew he was right.
As she turned toward her tent she saw a shadowy figure by the tree line. It felt empty like a darkspawn, but it wasn't attacking, and yet there was something familiar about it. Glancing behind her to see if her companions were watching, she slipped away to the edge of the camp. As she got closer, she could make out some of the creature's facial features and her heart lodged in her throat.
"Oh, Creators…Tamlen?" He turned to face her fully then and Raina gasped. His skin was black and stretched tightly across his face, his cheeks had sunken into a death mask, some of the skin had fallen off of his arms, he'd lost his hair, and his eyes that were once the color of the sky were now a milky white. She began to keen and cry in elvish, which brought Tamlen out of the shadows.
"Lethallan, is that you? Lethallan…I am sorry…so sorry." Raina reached for him, but he jumped back and yelled. "No, you mustn't. Go…before I hurt you, lethallan!"
"I can't do that, Tamlen," she whispered. He screeched again in anguish, jerking his body back and forth.
"Please, lethallan. You must…end me. It's the only way! Sickness…spread too far…been too long. Only way!" She shook her head violently, flinging large tears into the dirt. "I'm sorry…I should have…kissed you…in cave. Now I never will…always loved you, ma sa'lath!"
"I love you too, emma vhenan. I will end your pain." Tamlen nodded eagerly as she pulled her dagger from her sheath. "Abelas…dareth shiral." He closed his eyes peacefully and tilted his head back to expose his neck. Before she lost her nerve, Raina sliced cleanly through his neck, silently as befitted a sacrificial killing. His body crumpled to the ground and she followed with a death keen on her lips.
She pulled his battered body in her lap, cradling and weeping his loss all over again. Knowing he was free from pain was a small blessing when she thought about how he'd suffered for so many months. All this time she'd mourned him as one dead, yet here he was…
Her companions were standing nearby, having witnessed the entire exchange, but no one knew how to approach the heartbroken elf. "Ir abelas, ma vhenan." Raina looked up with red -rimmed eyes to see her team. Sniffing back tears, she managed to speak, "I need water, scented with flowers or oil. He must be b-buried," she took a ragged breath, "according to tradition. I need a staff of oak and a cedar branch, or something similar." They dispersed to locate the items she requested; they may not find them all, but they would try.
Leliana arrived with water that she'd boiled with various flower petals and mint. Morrigan returned from her corner of the camp with the Grand Oak's branch from the Brecilian Forest. Raina smiled gratefully and then asked Leliana for a thin cloth to act as a shroud. When the women were gone, she gently removed his cracked leathers. They were stained with gore and Creator's knew what, caked in layers of mud, and once they were gone she threw them as far away from her as she could.
His lean physique had been stolen by the taint, replaced with a skeletal frame and black skin stretched across it like a hide on a tanner's rack. She washed her hands in the hot water while reciting the traditional pleas to the Creators to accept his soul. Then, she ripped part of her under tunic and used it as a rag to wash Tamlen clean. When she reached his neck, she found a thread-bare length of cord, buried under months of grime and she yanked it off to throw it away until she realized there was something hanging on it.
It flashed in the light from Morrigan's camp, hitting Raina like a punch in the gut. It was a ring – a Dalish promise ring. Blessed and given to him by the Keeper for the woman he intended to bond his life to. She clutched it desperately in her hand as the tears fell anew. He'd worn it all this time and he must have been waiting for the right time to give it to her.
"Oh, lethallin – emma lath!" Rinsing it off quickly in the scented water, Raina slid it on the ring finger of her left hand and continued to wash the only one she'd ever loved for the burial shroud.
Leliana stood in the distance with the cloth, crying silent tears for her friend's pain, waiting for a good time to go to her with the shroud. Zevran appeared from the woods with Alistair and Raina's mabari, Zola, carrying a cedar branch. They joined Leliana and watched as their leader wept and washed her friend. Zev sighed, "I guess we all know why she turned us down, eh, Alistair?" Alistair pulled a battered rose from his pack, gently caressing the soft petals with watery eyes, and nodded.
Tamlen's body was finally as clean as she could make it with the taint corrupting his once handsome features. Glancing at Leliana, Raina indicated that she was ready for the covering. Leaving the men behind, the redhead helped the elf wrap what they could of his body with the amount of cloth they had. Unfortunately, his legs were still visible, but Raina didn't seem concerned.
Her gravelly voice surprised Leliana, "Is the…ground prepared?" The rogue nodded and waved Alistair over to carry Tamlen's body to the spot Zola dug out for his mistress. Raina wearily stood up and followed Alistair. She was touched to see that all of her companions, including Morrigan, came to pay their respects, as well. Once they reached the place, Zevran hopped in the hole and reached up to take Tamlen's body from Alistair.
"Stop!" Raina took a deep breath. "I just need to do one more thing…please," she breathed. She walked toward Tamlen and very softly pressed her lips against the cloth, on the lips underneath. Tears poured down her face as she remembered the way he looked in life – blond hair, dancing blue eyes, pink lips. "Now I've kissed you, lethallin. Ma'arlath."
She stepped back quickly and waved to Alistair to continue. Leliana wiped furiously at her eyes, even the men blinked back tears as they carefully laid his body in the ground. Raina gently arranged the staff and cedar branch around him before signaling Zola to cover him up. Alistair surprised her then when he stopped the dog and laid a single red rose in the center of Tamlen's chest. Raina could only nod her thanks through her tears and he smiled sadly in return. As Zola covered his mistress's love, Leliana began to sing the elvish eulogy. She sang along in her mind being too overcome with emotion to sing aloud.
The final note hung in the dawn's light and with sorrow in every step Raina walked away from the buried remains of her heart. The Blight wouldn't stop for a heartbroken elf.
A/N: Translations from wiki/Elven_language
Ma sa'lath – my one love
Emma vhenan – my heart
Abelas – sorrow (also used as an apology)
Dareth shiral – safe journey
Ir abelas, ma vhenan – I am filled with sorrow for your loss, my heart.
Emma lath – my love
Ma'arlath – I love you