I hung up the phone, it was the third time I had called Derek and he hadn't picked up, I hadn't seen or heard from him since he left my bedroom while I was asleep with nothing but a note, when I had woken up this morning I rolled over in my bed and heard something crumble so I sat up and saw the note on Derek's pillow, we had come back to my house because I knew it would be hard to sleep at the loft last night for the both of us and I didn't want to leave him alone, I unfolded the note and looked at it again

Skye

I'm really sorry about just leaving you like this but I just have to deal with last night's events alone, I just need time and swear I'll be back I promise and please stay safe, don't seek revenge at least for now because I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt right now
I love you Skyez
Derek xx

I tried one more time because I just wanted to make sure he was okay but still received no answer, I groaned and threw the phone down on my bed then ran my fingers through my hair letting out a sigh, there was a knock at my door making me look up

"Mom, I really don't feel like talking right now" I said lying on the bed as I heard the door open anyway

"Do you wanna talk to me?" I looked up, seeing Stiles in my doorway "Scott told me Derek left you this morning" I rolled my eyes at my brothers eavesdropping skills "Have you heard from Derek at all?"

"No, he's avoiding even me"

"Have you tried going to the loft?" I shook my head

"I really didn't want to face Peter or Cora on my own" I looked up at Stiles "When Boyd…died, I felt it, I felt his pain and Derek's pain, Isaac's pain and Cora's pain, I felt everything at once" I began to feel tears fall, Stiles got up from his place at the desk and walked over to me, hugging me "I just wanna make sure he's okay"

"Look, let's just go over to the loft and see if they know where Derek is" I nodded, wrapping my arms around Stiles as he lead me to his jeep and while he was driving all I could think about was how everything was going wrong for me at the moment, Boyd was dead, Derek ran away with no explanation to where he was going, the Alpha Pack was still around and worse…Isaac left the pack this morning

My phone flashed while I was pacing my bedroom still attempting to get a hold of Derek and I saw Isaac's name pop up

"Hey Isaac?" I answered glumly

"I need to talk to you" Isaac told me quietly

"Yeah okay sure, where do you wanna meet?"

"The abandoned subway station"

"Sure be there in ten"

I knew Isaac was having issues dealing with Boyd's death I could feel his emotions since I was still connected to him, he was the last Beta of Derek's original pack and he was close to Boyd, he hadn't spoken a word to me since the incident and I was wondering what was going through his mind

As I pulled up the first thing that hit me was the emotion anger, followed by sadness and finally hurt, getting out of the car I saw Isaac leaning against the wall

"So what's going on?" I asked him

"I can't pretend anymore Skye" Isaac told me without looking me in the eyes

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…this was the last straw" when I didn't say anything he continued "I thought that I could stay because of you, you've always been kind to me even before I was a werewolf I don't think I've ever seen you actually be mean to anyone who didn't push you first, with my time in this pack I've come to realize a few things the first you're still incredibly kind, the second everyone who's connected to you gets hurt and finally it's all about you, you may be the most selfless person I know but everything revolves around you, when we were learning control and something was happening with you Derek would run to your rescue first before dealing with the rest of us, your safety came before ours, your life meant more than ours"

"That's not true" I whispered

"Isn't it though, I mean think about last night, I could have helped save Boyd if you weren't being threatened I had to keep you from going into the water because I knew you would run after Derek"

"Isaac…what happened to Boyd wasn't your fault…okay it wasn't…" I replied stuttering in shock that this was actually happening

"No you're right it wasn't my fault" Isaac looked up at me with glowing yellow eyes "It was your fault" I looked at him with a shocked expression "If you hadn't been captured by the twins and Kali, our plan would have worked they wouldn't have had a leg to stand on and Boyd would still be alive" tears started pouring down my face

"Isaac you don't mean that…"

"Oh but I do and you know it's true"

"It's not!" I protested

"It is" Isaac growled allowing himself to partially transform and this caused something to snap in me, I knew it was the Alpha inside of me but I knew I couldn't let a Beta do that, I transformed and let out a roar causing Isaac to flinch back then returned to normal and looked him dead in the eyes angry

"I've lost two pack members already…what's difference will it make if I lose another, you have it in your mind that I'm the reason to blame for Boyd's death so take that as your excuse and run I know you've been looking for a way out of this pack since Derek threw you out of the loft, so go…leave us I don't care anymore"

I stood there waiting for him to leave or say something and for a few seconds both of us stood there staring each other down but Isaac was first to break our eye contact and ran off, I got into my car and sped towards home

"Hey Skye wake up" I jolted awake as Stiles shook me

"Sorry" I mumbled rubbing my eyes as I got out and we walked upstairs to Derek's loft, I sucked in a breath as Stiles opened the door to the loft and saw the water been taken out of the apartment, Derek's furniture was all put back and well as Boyd's body was gone, I looked around and saw Cora standing at the window "Where's Derek?" I asked

"Not here, he hasn't been here since it happened" She turned to look at us "He's hiding, once when he was younger, he and Peter hid away from the hunters, they were there for two days, waiting, hiding that's what we're taught to do when the hunters find us... hide and heal"

"Okay, so is two days standard then or are we thinking Derek's on like some extended getaway?" Stiles asked as we walked into the loft

"Why do you care?" Cora asked him, glaring

"Why do I care, let's see... because over the last few weeks, my best friend has tried to kill himself, my other best friend this one here is an emotional wreck because everything in her personal life has gone up in flames, their boss nearly got ritually sacrificed, a girl that I've known since I was three was ritually sacrificed, Boyd was killed by alphas, I... do you want me to keep going 'cause I can, all right, for like an hour"

"You think Derek can do anything about that?" Cora asked

"Well, since he's the one everyone seems to be after, it's more like he should do something about it, yeah"

"I don't know, there's something different about him now he wasn't like this when I knew him"

"What was he like?" I asked

"A lot like Scott, actually" we all turned and saw Peter coming down the stairs

"That's a disturbing thought" I replied sitting down on Derek's bed since they were saying that my boyfriend was a lot like my twin brother, I thought girls dated their fathers not their brothers

"I see it a lot" Cora said looking at me "When he's with you"

"You certainly bring out the old Derek" Peter nodded "Can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing, back then he was a lot like most teenagers... unbearably romantic, profoundly narcissistic, tolerable really only to other teenagers"

"So what happened?" Stiles asked "What changed him?"

"Well, the same thing that changes a lot of young men, a girl" at this I looked up

"Paige, right?"

"He talked to you about her?" Peter asked shocked

"Bits and pieces but not much we've been through the awkward ex's talk…in stages"

"You're telling me some girl broke his little heart, that's why Derek is the way he is?" Stiles asked

"Do you remember Derek before he was an Alpha, had blue eyes, do you know why some wolves have blue eyes?" he turned to me but I didn't answer him

"I just always thought it was like a genetic thing" Stiles said

"If you want to know what changed Derek, you need to know what changed the colour of his eyes" Peter walked over to the couch and sat down "Paige, she was pretty, smart, a lot like you Skyler, she didn't deal with any of Derek's teenage boy nonsense, he met her outside the music room, she played the cello, he was a sophomore a dumb sophomore blinded by love"

"Okay" Stiles sighed "So if Derek was a sophomore back then, how old was he?" Stiles asked then turned to me "Do you even know how old he is?"

"It's kind of hard to explain" I replied, Stiles sighed and turned to Peter

"How old were you, how old are you now?"

"Not as young as we could have been but not as old as you might think" Peter said

"Okay, that was frustratingly vague" he turned to Cora "How old are you?"

"I'm 17" Cora said

"See, that's an answer, that's how we answer people"

"Well, 17 how you'd measure in years"

"All right, I'm just gonna drop it…wait, when was this?"

"Close to eight years ago…maybe closer seven then eight" I answered putting my head in my hands

"Hold on, the fire was six years ago"

"Yeah"

"Which we were ten during…so then Derek turned when he was five?" I was confused at Stiles' train of thought and looked between Peter and Cora not really wanting to answer my friend

"No…not really"

"In years how much older is he then us?"

"Do you really want to know?" I asked him

"YES!" he exclaimed

"Eight" I replied

"SKYE!"

"WHAT, if you take into account the werewolf slow aging crap he is five years older than me trust me…I did the math"

"Well what is it, the math?"

"Stiles I can barely wrap my head around it, it gives me a headache just thinking about it"

"Okay moving on then…what happened to Derek and the cello girl?"

"What do you think happened?" Peter asked "They're teenagers, one minute, it's 'I hate you, don't talk to me', the next it's frantic groping in any dark corner they could manage to find themselves alone in for five minutes"

"Please use different word choice" I said closing my eyes

"Why are you feeling jealous Skye?" Peter replied with a smirk that I wanted to slap off his face

"No I just hate the word groping, it's weird and unnatural sounding"

"Yeah it's true she's weird about that" Stiles nodded

"Anyway" Peter sighed getting our attention back "Their favourite dark corner was an abandoned distillery outside Beacon Hills"

"Alright hold up" Stiles interrupted "How do you know all this, you just said that they were alone"

"Back then I wasn't just Derek's Uncle, I was his best friend his closest confidante that's how I know, one night while they were there the Alpha pack showed up but they weren't the Alpha pack back then, just different individual packs coming together for a purpose, one of Ennis' betas had been killed by the Argents and he wanted revenge, they were there to discuss it with a powerful Alpha"

"Who?" I asked

"My sister…..Talia Hale" Cora visibly stiffened when Peter said that "Talia didn't agree with avenging the death of Ennis' beta, so Ennis became angry and wanted revenge" I looked at Peter as he drew a spiral in the condensation on the window "Our mark for vendetta" he explained

"Man, you guys really take that revenge thing to like, a whole new level, don't you?" Stiles asked

"You don't really understand Stiles" I sighed

"It's not just revenge" Cora cut in "Losing a member of your pack isn't like losing family, it's like you lose a limb"

"Like a part of your heart is ripped out" I added looking down again

"They wouldn't even let him see the body" Peter said

"I don't get it, what does this have to do with Derek?" I asked

"Everything, it's never just a single moment it's a confluence of events, personally I looked at Ennis' circumstances, I saw a profound loss, Derek saw something different he saw opportunity"

"Opportunity?" Stiles asked "To do what?"

"To always be with her" I narrowed my eyes knowing what Peter was referring to, the Derek I knew would never look at that as an opportunity to turn someone he loved, he only bit me after Peter did because he didn't want me to live a fragile life and so that we'd have the chance to have kids one day

"You mean to turn her" I asked and Peter nodded "That doesn't sound like him" I told him

"Maybe not the Derek you know, I know how difficult it was for him to turn you Skye but he didn't always think like that" Peter replied

"Wait" Cora sighed looking at me "Why did Derek hesitate to turn you, I mean human mates will always turn, so why did he hesitate?" I pointed to Peter

"He bit me and my body was rejecting it, I guess a human mate can only be turned by an Alpha they trust, Derek turning me was the only way I would be able to live a somewhat normal life or even live at all, he hesitated because he didn't know if I fully trusted him or not"

"Yeah I mean I saw the way Derek fought over the idea of turning Skye" Stiles said looking at Peter "So you're trying to tell us that he saw Ennis' loss as an opportunity to turn Paige, it's just a little hard to believe"

"This isn't the same Derek you all know, he didn't think about the consequences of turning someone he just saw a way he could always be with Paige" Peter sighed throwing a quickly glare at me for causing the other two to doubt him, I rolled my eyes

I reached my hand to the back of my neck where Peter and Derek had both bit me and shivered when I was instantly brought back to the time I told Derek I loved him, I could see him pleading with me to say it again to make sure I was serious, I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up at Cora

"You okay Skye" Cora asked

"I'm fine" I sighed

"How long ago did he leave?" Peter asked me

"I don't know, he hasn't returned any of my phone calls I only found the note this morning saying that he needed space"

"If you haven't heard anything from him or seen him since, I don't know how you're not tearing apart this town looking for him, mates can't be apart"

"I'm respecting his request for space even though all I want is to know where he is so yeah I want to tear apart this town to find him but I'm resisting it…it's taking every ounce of control I have but I'm managing, didn't mean to space out, continue" I replied

"The thing was he had this constant fear it wasn't just the fact that she may not be his mate but it was something else, he was obsessing over it thinking about it all night, all day, always on his mind he was scared she wouldn't accept him" Peter said continuing hi story "I kept telling him not to do it, she seemed perfect for him but there were parts of Derek that still had doubts, every day the more he thought about it the more convinced he became, you know teenagers I bet he even blames me, he's probably convinced himself the whole thing was my idea"

"Derek wasn't an Alpha back then, so who would have turned her?" I asked him

"He wanted to ask his mother but with her and Deaton worrying about Deucalion and the packs, she had bigger things to worry about"

"So what is Deaton in all this?" Stiles asked him

"An advisor, an emissary"

"They keep us connected to humanity" Cora said "But they're a secret even in the pack, sometimes only the Alpha knows who the emissary is, Derek and I had no idea about Deaton"

"Or his sister, Morrell" Peter added

"She's an emissary too?" Stiles asked

"For the Alpha pack"

"Our guidance counsellor, why the hell don't you people tell me any of this stuff, huh I shared some really intimate details with her"

"And did she give you good advice?" Cora asked

"Actually, yeah"

"That's what they do" Peter said "That's what Deaton used to do for Talia and what he now does for Scott and Skye" he paused "Since Talia wouldn't do it, Derek had me get the help of someone else, someone who had just lost a pack member"

"Ennis?" I asked shocked "Why would he choose him?"

"Why not, Ennis needed a new member for his pack, Paige was young and strong doing a favour for Derek meant Ennis would be in good with Talia, back then everybody wanted to be in good with her"

"He doesn't remember it was Ennis, does he?" Stiles asked him as I fell silent again

"If he does, he keeps it to himself"

"So then what happened?" Stiles asked "Did he turn her?"

"Almost, Derek heard Ennis attack her and he couldn't take it, he went after him, he came at Ennis, a 15 year-old boy against a giant but there was no reason for him to fight she'd already been bitten"

"So did she turn?" Cora asked

"She should have, most of the time the bite takes, most of the time"

"When you offered it to me, you said 'if it doesn't kill you'" Stiles said

"If" Peter looked at me "Skyler, do you think you would be his mate if she turned?"

"But she died" I said Peter nodded

"I found them, she was lying in his arms, bleeding, dying, he asked me what had happened but he knew the answer though, it didn't matter that she was young and strong some people just aren't made for this but she fought, she struggled desperately, trying to survive"

"That's why Derek didn't want me to turn" I said more to myself but they had heard me

"He knew you were his true mate and if you died because your body couldn't except the bite, he would have been devastated" he paused "Paige knew about him though, she had figured it out and she still liked him and that's what really hurt him, she was fragile and in pain and she begged him to end it" Peter paused, looking at me again "I watched as he killed her, I remember taking her body from his arms, to the woods, to a place where I knew that it would be found... another in a long line of Beacon Hills' animal attacks"

"And what about Derek?" I asked finally understanding why he is so protective of me sometimes, tears fell freely down my cheeks because I couldn't imagine what Derek went through and it broke my heart to hear it

"Taking an innocent life takes...something from you as well, a bit of your soul...darkening it, dimming the once brilliant golden yellow to a cold steel blue... like mine" his eyes flashed to an icy blue, which matched Derek's beta eyes then Peter slowly rose and left the three of us alone, I moved and sat down on the steps Cora and Stiles joining me as I ran my fingers through my hair, without a word Stiles pulled me into a hug and I began sobbing into his shoulder as Cora moved behind me and rubbed my back

"Tell me what's wrong Skyez" Stiles whispered, I sniffled

"Everything…everything has gone wrong, Erica and Boyd are dead and it's my fault, Derek's run off to who knows where, Isaac is leaving the pack, I haven't had a decent conversation with any of my friends since this whole thing has started and honestly…honestly all I want right now is Derek to hold me but he wants to be alone"

"That's how he grieves Skyler" Cora sighed "He does it by himself" I continued to cry into my friend's shoulder making Stiles sigh

"But that's not how she grieves"

"I'll call him leave him a message or something" Cora sighed standing up and walking towards her room, when she returned Stiles and I hadn't moved but we looked up as she sat down beside me again "What?" Stiles and I looked over at her "What's this look on your face?" she asked him

"What look?" he asked and Cora rolled her eyes

"The kind of look that makes me wanna punch you"

"Oh my God, you are so Derek's sister I forgot" I let out a small giggle in between my sniffling

"What is with the look?" Cora asked him through gritted teeth

"I just don't believe him, all right in Ms Blake's class we're reading Heart of Darkness it's in first person right, narrated by Marlow the thing is that he's an unreliable narrator, you know the details of it have changed, you know just because of his perspective"

"Well then we heard the story from Peter's perspective" Cora replied

"Right and I don't think we got the whole story"

"So what, are you just gonna ask Derek about the girl he fell in love with and then killed?"

"Yeah good luck with that?" I snorted

"If I have to" Stiles sighed "Yeah, actually I have a better plan…it's called S.A.M" I started laughing

"S.A.M?" Cora asked "I don't get it"

"S.A.M" I looked at her "It stands for Skyler Anne McCall" I looked over to Stiles "And I highly doubt that would work, I mean I knew about Paige, I knew she died but he didn't tell me any details, so what makes you think he'll tell me now?"

"Because it's you" Cora sighed "If anyone can get it out of him it's you" I let a small smile reach my lips but it fell when my phone vibrated with a text and I quickly read it,

Meet Me – Derek I stood up quickly because it also had directions so got Stiles to drop me home then I drove to the place Derek had given me

I parked my car next to Derek's, I wasn't sure what was going on but at the moment I didn't care and as soon as Derek's figure stepped out of the distillery door I shot out of the car and launched herself at Derek knowing he would catch me, as soon as his arms were securely locked around my waist I began crying again, he didn't say anything knowing I just needed to get it all out he just hugged me tighter and waited until I was ready to speak

A/N: Sorry there was no Derek and Skye fluff in this chapter but it needed to be done