In which Bud and Hank both have a meltdown... and some confessions come out.
The men exited the club, and Sean lightly grazed Nick's shoulder.
"You and I need to talk..." he whispered into the Grimm's ear in passing. Nick nodded. Destiny's... no, Rita's story had shaken him. Had they really made out in front of everybody? And who did they marry Monroe off to? What else had happened at the chapel? What if she was a Spinnetod, too? Nick felt sick. Hank put a hand on his shoulder.
"You okay? You kinda zoned out when Destiny was talking... you looked like you were going zombie again... I don't think she noticed though..." The men followed Sean, who led them into a side alley away from the street.
"What we need to do is compare stories. Cheryl and Cindy..."
"Who?" asked Hank before remembering.
"The Spinnetod twins... they basically told us, and I'm summarizing IMPORTANT DETAILS ONLY, that at some point, Monroe started flirting with a girl in a pink wig named Marcy, Bud pulled my brother in, I punched him, Hank, Monroe, and Marcy took him somewhere..." Hank slapped his forehead.
"That's probably how I knew where the unlocked service closet was!" Sean nodded and continued
"It was decided that Monroe and Marcy should get married on the spot, Nick and I escorted them to the chapel and back, they attempted to consummate, we tried to stop them, they got mad and left. Is that more or less the story you got, too?" Hank and Nick nodded.
"Except Rita thought she heard Darcy..." Nick began.
"And she said it looked like we knew her..." Hank continued, "The blackjack dealer's name was Dorothy that he was flirting with..."
"And the singer at the pub was named Marcia..." Bud commented, his face turning steadily redder.
"But Marcia told us she was married..." Nick muttered.
"Hank, this... This is your fault!" Bud shouted. Hank, Nick, and Sean all turned. Bud was shaking, but for once not from fear. He was furious. "YOU pushed him to drink! YOU wanted him to get blackout drunk! YOU tried to get him to cheat on Rosalee! This is YOUR FAULT!"
"MY FAULT? YOU were pulling random damn people in!"
"NO! I was just trying to share the joy and spread the love! YOU were actively trying to ruin Monroe's happy marriage before it even began! What? Are you jealous or something? Huh? Mister 'There's A Reason I've Been Married Four Times'? Mister 'I Can't Keep It In My Pants'? Mister 'I'm a Frat Boy Who Never Grew Up'?" Hank looked like he was ready to take a swing at the Eisbiber, who was now standing chest-to-chest with him, but instead the larger man sank to the ground and put his head in his hands. Bud's anger drained, and he suddenly looked genuinely concerned. "Hank, I... I didn't mean..." Hank let out a sob, his shoulders shaking. Nick and Sean share an 'oh shit' look; neither of them had ever seen Hank have a breakdown before.
"FINE, YES. Yes, Bud, you got it, I am an angry, jealous bastard! How perfect are they together? It's disgusting! He's the biggest geek I know, and she's gorgeous and smart and she should be far, FAR out of his league. And she's a freak, too? He has to be the luckiest sonofabitch I've ever met. And he had girls throwing themselves at his feet even when he was talking about her... and meanwhile, I can't get ANY play; the last person I tried isn't down with dating humans, and before that I got cursed to shit by some bitch who had it out for Nick! And I almost get my groove back this weekend and I fall asleep on her? What the hell?" Sean put a reassuring hand on Hank's shoulder.
"Just to clarify, you aren't in love with Rosalee, are you?" Hank sniffed and shook his head.
"Even if I was, the way the two of them look at each other, I wouldn't stand a chance. I don't want to ruin what they have, but I want my version of it..." Nick joined Hank on the pavement.
"Look, Monroe's dad said he didn't think Monroe would ever get married because he's a perfectionist... Monroe is 38 years old, getting married for the first time. How old were you?" Nick asked. He felt like he should know, but the answer wasn't readily available in his mind.
"Nineteen. My high school sweetheart, Tess. Knocked her up, shotgun wedding... then she miscarried. I was trying to go to college and support her and it got to be too much... It lasted less than a year, but I decided not to let the best years of my life go to waste, so I started sleeping with everybody I could. All my other wives, I thought I could change for them... But... But I couldn't handle the security, so I would cheat because it was what I knew! And I would purposely get caught!" Hank's head fell back and tears ran down his cheeks. "Katie... Katie looked at me like Rosalee looks at Monroe. She loved me... I couldn't deal with it. I cheated, we divorced, and I tried to get her back; I promised I changed... But I couldn't, and I made sure she caught me again... And then she went out and wrapped herself around a telephone pole..." Hank pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his face as he sobbed.
"I had what they have and I ruined it! I drove her away! I killed her! I killed Katie!" Bud, Sean, and Nick were speechless as Hank sobbed before them. After a while, Hank sat up straighter, wiping his eyes and nose. "I wasn't trying to get him to cheat, I was testing him, I guess. I wanted him to prove he was a better man than I am, to not give in! I wanted him to have girls flinging themselves at him and him going, 'No, I have everything I need at home! I have a smoking hot, smart-as-hell woman with a freaky streak a mile wide, I don't need any of this other nonsense!' But apparently I was wrong! And I'm a huge dick for pushing it and yes, Bud, it's my damn fault! And I'm sorry!" Bud heaved a heavy sigh.
"I'm sorry, Hank... I didn't... it just needed somewhere to go." Hank wiped his eyes on his sleeve once more and stood back up with a deep breath, tenuously grasping at some sense of composure.
"Nah, man, it needed to come out. Mine needed to come out, too." Bud turned to Sean and Nick.
"Speaking of things that need..." Sean interrupted him, and the Captain of the Portland Police Department took charge of the situation.
"Actually, I think we need to split up the next leg. Hank, why don't you and Bud go check the Detention Center while Nick and I go check out the chapel. The twins told us it was the Wedding Bells Chapel on East Harmon. You guys will probably need to take a cab. If he's there and needs bail, just call us, okay? We'll see if there's any record of Monroe and Darcy or Marcy or whoever the fuck she is getting married and we'll go from there." Bud was obviously swayed by Sean's assertion of dominance, and turned and walked back out toward the street. Hank looked from Sean to Nick and shrugged.
"Look," he said quietly, raising his hands slightly, "when I said I started sleeping with everybody I could, I meant everybody. I ain't judgin'. Now let's find Monroe and get this shit fixed so we can get home tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," the Grimm and the Royal said with one voice.