[A/N: Whoa! Someone forgot to update last Friday. My apologies.]

Chapter Five: I'll Try to do my Best to Impress

When we arrived at the Briefs compound, all of my dad's old friends were present, but my family and friends hadn't arrived. I supposed it was better that way considering this way I'd be there to run interference for any uncomfortable questions my dad and Yusuke were sure to ask any strangers.

"When was the last time you saw any of your father's friends?" Kurama asked.

"I think I was about 12 last time I saw the guys at Kame House," I said. "They probably don't even remember you. You were a very intense nine year old way back in the olden days of Majin Buu. You're like a completely different person now."

"Whereas you still act like an eight year old," he said. I rolled my eyes. "Yes, because that disproves my point."

"I am in not in the mood for your B.S. Shuichi," I said.

"Hey! Is that you Kairi?"

I looked away from Kurama and saw we were being beckoned by Krillin and the rest of my dad's people. I waved politely and walked over to them.

"Wow, you look so different now," Tien said.

"Well, I was a foot and a half shorter last time you saw me," I said.

"And you've got weird hair now," Yamcha said.

"What? The white? I like it," I said. I'd bleached it when I turned 14 and I didn't look back.

"You like it because Chichi hates it," Shiori said coming up beside me examining the streaks in my hair. "And it's so long and wild now."

"You don't tell Shuichi to cut his hair," I said.

"Everyone loves my hair," Kurama said.

"Yeah well. . . Well," I paused trying to think of something insulting to say that wouldn't cause Shiori to smack me in the head, "well, you're easily my least favorite red headed person."

"And you know so many people with red hair," he said.

"Yeah, I do. It's like. . ." I paused to count, "It's like. . . Like four other people. And they're like my favorite people. Except maybe Chizuru, but she probably doesn't really count anyway."

"Why do you say that?" Kurama asked.

"Have you seen the color of her hair? I'm guessing the carpet doesn't match the drapes on that one," I said. And then Shiori hit me upside the head. "Ow! Dammit!" And then again. "Ow! Stop!"

"Watch your mouth," she scolded me.

"I can't. My mouth does things without my brain's consent," I said. "It's all Shuichi's fault. You all remember my obnoxious cousin don't you?"

"Yeah. I didn't even think you knew how speak back then," Yamcha said. "Mostly you just kept glaring at me."

"He still glares at me all the time," I said.

"Only when you're being obnoxious and annoying," he said. "Which is most of the time."

"I wouldn't be so obnoxious and annoying if you weren't such a butt face," I said.

"You two act more like brother and sister than cousins," 18 said with a chuckle.

"No we don't. Goten and Gohan are like a million times cooler than ol' Butt Face here," I said.

"Speaking of which, where are those guys anyway?" Krillin asked.

"Probably still at home. You know how dad loves to sleep," I said. Hopefully they were all awake and formulating the best way to introduce Bardock because I refused to do it again. I was too busy worrying about Ichigo and Hiei.

"So, Trunks filled us in on what happened to your gig as Spirit Detective," Krillin said.

"Yeah, that blows. What are you gonna do with all your free time now?" Yamcha asked.

"Now she's just got more free time to not do homework and sleep," Shiori said patting me on the head. I nodded in agreement. I was quite the directionless under achiever at the moment.

"And make out with her boyfriend," Kurama slipped in.

I turned and glared at him. "Judas."

All of my dad's friends were giggling and I stood waiting for the inevitable question.

"So. . ." Krillin started, "is it-."

"I'd rather cut my foot off with a rusty saw than go out with Kairi Son ever again," Trunks said casually, and yet I got the distinct impression that the only reason he hadn't sworn at me was because we were in front of the adults.

"What he means is that we were dating, but we broke up a while ago," I said.

"What happened? Krillin here was really rooting for you," Eighteen said.

"Nothing serious really," I said, trying my hardest to end the conversation before things took a turn.

"No, nothing serious," Trunks said, rolling his eyes. "She's just a lying, cheating, soul sucking harpie and now she's found someone else's life to ruin."

"Wow, really? It's like that, Trunks," I said.

"Well, Kairi, did you not cheat on me and lie about it? Because that's what I remembering happening," Trunks said. "Do you remember it differently?"

". . . Slightly," I said.

"Would you say that you weren't being an emotional terrorist?" he asked.

I frowned at him. "I am not an emotional terrorist."

"Anymore," Trunks said.

"I already explained to you-."

"And I already explained to you that you were full of crap," he said.

"Gee, why don't you tell us how you really feel," I said rolling my eyes.

"Why don't you or are you still in a constant state of denial," he said.

"Boy, you two look like you're making everyone really uncomfortable." An arm draped over my shoulder and Yusuke appeared beside me. That my partner, always coming to rescue me from drowning, even in the metaphorical sense.

"Hey, is Yukina here yet?" Kuwabara exclaimed.

"No. Control yourself," I said. Yukina had kendo practice at school this morning so Kurama walked her to school and she was going to come when she was finished with Orihime, Uryu, Chad and Ichigo. Kuwabara was the most impatient person on the planet.

"These your friends?" Krillin asked.

"Her best friends. The only friends she has that matter," Yusuke said pulling me into a tight one armed hug. "Once upon a time some girl tried to drown Kairi in kindergarten and I saved her and since that day we've spent many a day together, harassing our fellow classmates. . . Until she got expelled."

"The only reason you haven't gotten expelled is because they don't have any hope for you. Kairi got kicked out so she could maybe do better at a different school," Keiko said. "They're just waiting for you to drop out."

"Well too bad. Since I got axed from being Spirit Detective it freed up a lot of my time. I actually did my homework yesterday," Yusuke said.

"And all of it was wrong," Keiko said.

"Well you get points for trying," Yusuke said.

"Only in math," Keiko said.

"That was math right?" Yusuke asked.

"No," Keiko said.

"Then well what the hell was it?" Yusuke asked.

"Biology," Keiko said.

"That explains a few things," Yusuke said.

"So. . . Is this your new boyfriend?" Krillin asked.

"Ewe, no. That would be like incest. This idiot is Yusuke," I said. "This is his girlfriend Keiko. This is Kuwabara."

"And this is Hiei, the guy Kairi dumped Trunks for," Yusuke said pointing at Hiei.

I glared at Yusuke. "Sleep with one eye open tonight, Urameshi."

"Of course, before you ask, Hiei got dumped too. No one's good enough for our Kairi's high standards," Yusuke said now patting me on the head in addition refusing to let me go from his hug. "Except this mystery guy none of us has met yet, well apparently I did meet him once or twice, but I can't remember the name and the face of every ginger I've ever beat up. I had to beat the crap out of Kuwabara like 50 times before I remembered his name and that is not an exaggeration."

"My favorite thing about Yusuke are his people's skills," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, like yours are any better or I should I remind you of how many times you've broken Rei's nose," Yusuke said.

I let out a sigh. "Yusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, Hiei, these are my dad's friends, Tien, Chiaotzu, Yamcha, Eighteen, and Krillin."

"Eighteen? If you don't mind me saying that is a weird name," Yusuke said.

"Android Eighteen," she said.

"Oh. . . I follow. Weird crowd your dad runs with," Yusuke said.

"Yes, and you are the very standard of normality, Yusuke," Kurama said.

"I love the conceited way you speak to me," Yusuke said.

"You didn't use that word right," Keiko said.

"Points for trying," Yusuke said.

"This is my aunt, by the way. Shiori, Shuichi's mom," I said.

"Oh, right! I met you once! You were in the hospital. It was a long time ago. You probably don't remember me," Yusuke said. "You know, you look a lot like Kairi's mom. You're sister's right?"

"Yes," she said. "Yusuke. . . You know, your name is really familiar."

"Well, I am pretty popular in certain circles," Yusuke said finally letting me go to smugly brush imaginary dirt from his green jacket.

"Yusuke Urameshi—you're the kid that Master Genkai brought on as her apprentice," Tien said.

"That's it! You're the kids Genkai is training now. You're much different than I expected you to be. She mostly just calls you-."

"Dimwit," Yusuke said. "Yeah. Obviously mutual respect is not the foundation of our relationship. Mostly it's that I'm awesome."

"I think it's just because she couldn't find anyone else," Hiei said.

"It's just not a conversation without you taking a dig at me, Hiei," Yusuke said. "That's what we keep you around for."

"I thought it was to torture me," he said.

"Why'd you come if you were just going to complain?" Yusuke asked.

"Yukina asked him to come. Can you remember the last time you ever said no to her?" I asked.

"Never. Not once. Yesterday at Kuwabara's house she made lemonade and it was awful and I had two glasses of it," Yusuke said. "How we roped such a nice and honest person into our group I'll never know."

"I blame Hiei," I said with a chuckle. He glared at me.

"Why Hiei?" Kuwabara asked.

"She blames me for everything," Hiei said.

"Because everything is your fault," I said.

"Kairi also has excellent people skills," Keiko said.

"She gets that from Chichi," Krillin said.

"I want to be offended you're right," I said. I got my fighting prowess from my dad, and my unfavorable attitude from my mother. "Oh, so you know that attack I used on Doctor Ichigaki to make my point at the Dark Tournament? That was Krillin's attack!"

"Wow! Really. That was awesome. She cut some guy up into five pieces. It was great," Yusuke said. "And then she kept complaining about it afterward saying something like 'Destructo Disk always cauterizes' or something."

"Well it does if you don't half ass it," Krillin said. "Don't worry Kairi. One day, you'll get as good as me."

"Yep. And then she can miss every time she uses it," Yamcha said.

"Hey, Yamcha, remember that time you used your Wolf Fang Fist to do something useful, be no one else does," Krillin said.

"Oh, Kairi, you're finally here," Bulma said approaching us.

"Hello, Mrs. Trunks' Mom. You're looking gorgeous as always," Yusuke said. "I love that haircut on you."

"Tone it down, Casanova," Keiko said.

"I'm glad you could come," Bulma said. "You two must be Hiei and Kuwabara. Kairi and Trunks have told me a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you."

"You too. Thanks for having us. I've never actually been to Capsule Corp. It's huge!" Kuwabara said.

"Yeah. I guess that's one of the perks of my father being a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist," Bulma said. "Kairi, Trunks, can you come help me finish setting up. I'm sure your friends will survive without you for a few minutes."

"Yeah, I have to ask your dad's friends a bunch of uncomfortable questions that I don't want you around to hit me for," Yusuke said pushing me away.

I walked with Trunks and Bulma to the other side of the compound where we were instructed to finish setting the tables up so she could start putting out food.

"'Lying, cheating, soul sucking harpie?'" I asked Trunks. "Way to be brutal. Thanks."

"I just don't want you parading around here like you're some sort of perfect little princess," Trunks said.

"Well you don't have to act like what I did was so traumatizing. I've apologized like a million times and I really do feel bad about what I did. If you can't get over it, I'm sorry," I said.

"You just don't want me telling your new boyfriend about what happened," Trunks said.

"I already told Ichigo everything for your information," I said. "It's not like I don't know how you and Hiei get and I decided that when you inevitably meet I'd rather avoid some kind of epic confrontation."

"So you've found someone else with an attitude problem now?" Trunks asked.

"What can I say; I must have a type," I said. "Easily irritated, confrontational and a sword must be all I'm looking for."

"Clearly," he said.

"Can you stop being a jerk now please?" I asked. "I really liked it better when we were friends. I liked it better when we were make out buddies in denial."

"You were the only one in denial, Kairi. Which is why we're having this conversation," he said.

"I've already admitted to being a horrible person. Isn't that enough? I have to introduce Ichigo to my parents later and Yusuke is no doubt over there asking Tien about his third eye and making outlandish parallels to Hiei. Or worse, asking Eighteen how she procreates if part of her anatomy is robotic," I said.

"That sounds like it's not my problem," Trunks said. "Why don't you ask your new boyfriend to help you, or even better, ask Hiei since his sole purpose in life seems to be popping up and coming to your rescue."

"You are a dick," I said.

"And I'm sorry you feel that way," he said.

This whole party was already off to an epically bad start. Trunks still hated me and now even people we hadn't seen in years knew that he hated me and also probably assumed I was a "lying, cheating, soul sucking harpie."

The door opened and I watched Goten enter. That meant that my grandfather was here now too and that the real test of my mental stability had begun.

888

"And then I woke up by the river," Bardock said, explaining to us his story of the destruction of planet Vegeta. "I thought I was in Hell because I assumed Hell didn't have beds. If they did you'd think they'd have beds of spikes. Or spiders. Or spikey spiders. . . Spikers."

". . . Well I think that just answered every question I ever had about Goku ever," Bulma said.

"I'd say that's pretty accurate," I said.

"Why don't you do something useful and find out where that boyfriend of yours is," Yusuke said.

"Yes. You said he'd be here and I'm eager to meet him," Mom said.

Being used to dead coming back to life, Bardock being alive wasn't that hard of a pill to swallow and generally everyone accepted it and was eager to solve the mystery of why Bardock had come back to life at all. Being that my mother had spent the last few days with him, and considering that I'd spent the last few days crying about it to my friends, soon their attention was turned from the mysterious case of Bardock to the mystery of who Ichigo was.

"Well, I've met Ichigo several times and I can say that Kairi has very good taste," Shiori said with a smile. "I thought at first something had to be wrong with him, because there was no possible way she could ever do better than Trunks."

"Why would you even say that? Trunks is not the measuring by which all other males are measured. He's actually kind of a tool as it turns out," I said.

"Kairi, you know I love you," Mom said wrapping her arm around me and gently stroking my hair, "but you're so weird and abrasive and, I love you, but you're not that bright."

"Mom!" I said.

"I'm just saying, you take after your father and most boys wouldn't put up with that," she said.

"This is outrageous," I said. "Isn't family supposed to respect my choices and know that in the end I will do the right thing?"

"Yes, but only if they trust you and you're not slowly flunking out of school," Mom said.

"I love you too, Mom," I said rolling my eyes.

"Well, Ichigo is fantastic despite your suspicion," Shiori said.

"Well, we'll just see how he measures up to Trunks," Bulma said. If anyone was going to scrutinize Ichigo the way my mother was going to, it was Bulma who loved me, but hate that I stabbed her son in the heart.

"I felt the same way, but I met him and even you'll be impressed Bulma. Trust me," Shiori said.

"I'm sure he's great," Videl said reassuringly. "Even if he's not Trunks I think we should be happy Kairi's happy."

"Thank you, sister. Everyone should listen to you," I said. Damn, Gohan had such good taste in women. I loved, Videl.

"You should tell her to cut her hair because she won't do it for me," Mom said. "Does Ichigo like your hair?"

"Yes, Ichigo likes my hair," I said with a scoff.

"Are you sure he wouldn't like it shorter and all one color?" Mom asked.

"Can we let the hair go? I wore a dress for you today, Mom. One thing at a time," I said.

The door opened and Yukina stepped inside, my classmates in tow.

"Oh, they're here," I said. I could feel my heart pounding harder in my chest as my anxiety level rose.

"Which one is he?" Mom asked.

"The tall one with the orange hair," Shiori said.

". . . Really?" Mom asked looking down to me. I nodded. She looked at him and then back to me.

"No, but really?" Bulma asked.

"Yes," I said. "Why do you keep asking?"

"He's really cute," Videl said.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked.

"Nothing, I'm just. . . Surprised," Mom said. "I'll just have to meet him. Bring him over here. I'll get your father."

"All right, just take it easy on him," I said, knowing that the statement would be in vain as subtlety was not a trait my mother possessed.

"Go on," Mom said.

I walked over to them where Kurama was already busy introducing Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara and Keiko.

"I can't believe you actually know the owners of Capsule Corp.," Uryu said.

"I promise that's the least surprising thing you'll learn about me today," I said. "And I apologize in advance for my dad. He can get really weird and say some really off the wall stuff. Just go with it. Oh, and don't mention needles around him. He has a huge phobia." Then I turned to Ichigo. "I hope my friends haven't traumatized you."

"No, not yet anyway," Ichigo said.

"Give me a few minutes," Yusuke said.

"You'll have to wait," Goten said popping up.

"Hey, what are you doing over here? I am bringing him to you. The whole family only gets to have one go at him," I said.

"As always, darling older sister, I am here to help you," Goten said. He turned to Ichigo. "I'm Goten, Kairi's taller, more intelligent younger brother."

"Wow, fuck you," I said.

"My sister is very neurotic," Goten said placing his hand over my face.

"I've noticed," Ichigo replied with a chuckle.

"So I am here to assure you that while she's busy having an anxiety attack over nothing, I will not let my family do anything to traumatize. We don't bite. . . Well sometimes dad does, but only if your hand happens to be near something he's trying to eat and then it's probably on accident," Goten said.

"Thank you. I'm sure that inspired so much confidence," I said.

"Don't be such a whiny baby. Come on," Goten said.

They were all waiting for him when I walked away from my friends.

"This is Ichigo," I said, feeling that was a good place to start. "Ichigo, this is my older brother Gohan, his wife Videl, my mom and dad, Chichi and Goku, and this is Bulma who's basically family. Where's Vegeta?"

"He said he doesn't care and that Bulma and Trunks both need to 'suck it up,'" Goten explained. I talked a lot of shit about Vegeta, but sometimes he did make my life easier.

"It's nice to meet you all. Kairi talks about you guys all the time," Ichigo said.

"Well we haven't heard much about you, then again Kairi's always been quiet about that kind of stuff," Gohan said.

"With a family like ours who can blame her?" Goten said.

"You're very tall. How tall are you?" Bulma asked.

"Five-nine," Ichigo replied.

"And you fight monsters?" Dad asked.

Ichigo nodded. "Hollows."

"Interesting. And what kind of grades do you get?" Mom asked. She didn't ask how dangerous it was that he was fighting monsters of what his parents could possibly think of that. Nope. My mother was concerned about his academics.

"I've been on honor roll since kindergarten. I'm in the top ten percent of our grade," Ichigo said.

"Really?" Mom asked. "So you fight monsters all day and still have time for homework?"

"I sure do," Ichigo said. "I won't get into a good college without good grades."

I felt a bit relieved as I watched my mother swoon as he said things like "good grades" and "college."

"And what about your parents?" Mom asked.

"Well my mother passed away when I was a kid, but my father is a doctor and he runs a clinic," Ichigo said.

"A doctor?" Mom asked. Another magic word.

"Yeah. He can do pretty much anything aside from major surgery," Ichigo said. "My sisters and I help him out sometimes."

"Oh, you've got sisters?" Videl asked.

"Yuzu and Karin. They're 12. Twins. Karin's a bit of an introvert, but Yuzu's practically the reason I'm even going out with Kairi. She just kept on insisting Kairi come over for dinner," Ichigo said with a chuckle.

"She sounds lovely," Mom said.

"Yeah, yeah, stop asking him all this boring stuff—how strong are you?" Dad asked.

"Uh-."

"Never mind; let's just arm wrestle to figure it out. I'll get a table," Dad said turning away.

"No, Dad," I said grabbing him. "No."

"But I have to know how strong he is," Dad said.

"About as strong as Hiei was during the Dark Tournament. A little stronger maybe," I said.

"Ahh, pretty strong then," Dad said with a nod. "Pretty impressive. But did you know that Kairi's like way stronger than you, by like a lot."

"Yeah, but it doesn't really matter to me," Ichigo said.

". . . And you're really going out with her?" Mom asked. Ichigo nodded. "And she's not paying you or anything?"

"Mom!" I said.

"I'm sorry, but how am I supposed to believe that some boy who gets good grades, whose father is a doctor, and seems perfectly nice likes you?" Mom asked.

"Well, I know Kairi can be pretty weird sometimes and she's unmotivated and lazy and stubborn and intentionally obnoxious for no reason sometimes, but she's really nice and she does well in school when she tries really hard and the subjects aren't math and science, and my sisters think she's great and my dad likes her too," Ichigo said.

"Well isn't that just sweet," Mom said.

"Yeah. You seem like a great guy, which is really hard for me to admit considering Kairi dumped my son a few weeks ago," Bulma said.

"Poke me again and I will cut your arm off!" I hear Hiei scold someone.

"Keep in mind, Kairi dumped Trunks for that guy," Goten said.

"Thanks for the reminder, little brother," I said. "If you don't mind, I'm going to stop Hiei from murdering Kuwabara. . . Or Yusuke. . . Or Kurama."

"Nice to meet you," Mom said.

"Yeah! I'm gonna go find that table to arm wrestle," Dad said, "when Kairi's not watching."

I frowned at him. "Excuse us."