Chapter Seven: We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off to Have a Good Time

"What I wouldn't give to not have to spend my time spelling out the obvious to a bunch of children," a raspy voice said.

I recognized it immediately. I turned and saw Genkai had arrived. With her were Master Roshi and a taller mad wearing a long black cloak with white diamonds going across the bottom over dark green pants a shirt. His hair was blond and messy and covered by a striped green and white hat.

"Mister Hat-and-Clogs?" Ichigo said.

"That can't be his real name," I said. "Although with the hat and the clogs I get it. Not really a fan of the clogs though. The cloak is cool though. Mister Hat-and-Cloak is better."

Master Roshi chuckled. "Your genetics are really shining through there, Genkai."

"Shut up, you old fool. That's the spawn of your most accomplished student after all," Genkai said.

"Are one of you going to tell us what's going on or is this conversation going to slowly dissolve into one of those 'back in my day, we walked up hill in the snow both ways to get to and from school' kind of things?" Ichigo asked.

"You've got a real smart mouth kid. No wonder Kairi likes you," Genkai said

I went to complain, but then realized she might've actually had a point so I kept my mouth shut.

"This is Genkai, and that's Master Roshi," Kurama said. "I trust, Kairi's told you about them."

"Yep! It's nice to finally meet you!" Orihime said.

"And this is Kisuke Urahara," Ichigo said.

"So you're a soul reaper too, huh?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yes, I am," Urahara said. "Though I mostly leave it up to Ichigo to handle the hard stuff these days. I'm getting on in years after all."

"I hate to be repetitive, but is anyone from the geriatric division going to tell us what's going on?" Vegeta asked.

"I thought geriatric was overweight people?" I asked.

"That's bariatric," Ichigo corrected me.

"Ah," I said.

"You asked why you got attacked by two Menos Grandes," Urahara said.

"It's obviously because this the largest collection of Spiritual Pressure outside of Karakura Town. The last time there was a concentration of energy this high in one place was when they opened that tunnel," Uryu said.

"Correct as always Uryu," Kisuke said.

"But if I might interject, the level of Spirit Energy here isn't really enough to warrant two Menos, at least not with everyone's energy suppressed the way it is at the moment," Kurama said.

"And that's why you're my favorite, Shuichi. No stupid questions. Only honest to goodness observations," Genkai said.

"Hey, I'm your student. Shouldn't I be your favorite?" Yusuke asked.

"Quiet, dimwit. This is important," Genkai said.

"The Menos Grande aren't like normal hollow. They come into existence when a hollow is no longer able to survive on devouring human souls and they start consuming other hollows," Urahara said. "The Menos we were just visited by are the Menos Grande, also called Gillian class hollow. They're big and pretty strong, but they're also slow and stupid. They don't move out of Hueco Mundo unless they sense a large power level as Uryu pointed out, or unless they're enticed into moving," Urahara said.

"Someone made those things attack my house?" Bulma asked.

"I doubt your house was the target. The concentration of energy here was just so massive that this is the first place they wanted to come to. But someone definitely wanted them out of Hueco Mundo," Genkai said.

"And who would that be?" Hiei asked.

"Only other hollows are going to get them to move," Urahara said.

"So, something's prompted the more powerful hollows to order the weaker Menos to move?" Chad asked.

"Exactly. They're running away from something," Genkai said.

". . . Does this have something to do with all the ghosts?" Dad asked.

"Who'd have thought that Goku would be the one to bring us to the most important portion of the story," Master Roshi said.

"Certainly not me," I said.

"The ghosts are appearing because there's an imbalance of souls in both the Living World and the Soul Society," Genkai said.

". . . Isn't that, like, really super bad?" I asked.

"Yes, Kairi. That's really super bad," Uryu said.

"Don't make me hit you, Quincy-boy; I can tell when I'm being talked down to," I said.

"Shocking," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, Fish Penis," I said.

"Will you two stop for five seconds? You'll have plenty of time to play like you're in second grade when they're done," Kurama said.

"I'm sorry, how can there be an imbalance of souls or whatever?" Yusuke asked.

"There always has to be a certain number of souls in existence for there to be balance, not just in the Living World but in the Soul Society and Spirit World as well. If there were too many souls in the Living World things would get crazy which is why Spirit World ferries them away and why the Soul Society has their Soul Reapers, because they maintain the balance. If there are too many souls here then things get out of whack," Master Roshi said.

"So that's why things are getting crazy, because Strawberry Fields Forever over here needs to put in some over time?" Yusuke asked, motioning to Ichigo.

"Do not call him that," I scolded him.

"As much as we'd love to pin the blame on Ichigo, it's got nothing to do with him," Urahara said. "The other reason there would be an imbalance would be because-."

"There aren't enough souls inexistence," Ichigo said. "Like with the Quincies."

"Yep, but unless Uryu's been more trigger happy than usual lately, I don't see us blaming this on the Quincies," Urahara said.

"So what is causing it?" Hiei asked.

"No idea," Master Roshi said.

"Well, that's helpful. You old guys always show up warning us all about how dangerous things are without telling us what we need to do," Yusuke whined.

"Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass every once in a while and actually used your brain to think for once, you might figure things out without someone holding your hand," Genkai said.

"And by that I think she means the Soul Society hasn't come by to say anything about it and Spirit World isn't talking to us so we're going to be sitting here wondering until someone decides to tell us what's going on," I said.

"Yes, Kairi. Things are getting serious and I'd be shocked if the Soul Society didn't send someone to confer with Ichigo in the next few days," Genkai said.

"Hopefully they have a better idea of what's going on than we do," Urahara said.

"I think we're all hopeful for that," Yusuke said.

888

My original plan had been to return to Kurama's house and spend the evening there with Keiko and Yukina who had already requested a sleep over. But everyone loves Orihime and so she was immediately added to our shindig. Kuwabara and Yusuke immediately invited themselves over and Hiei was "forced" over as well.

As for Bulma's house it would be, for the next few days, occupied by the Z Fighters until things in Spirit World were sorted out.

Having little else to do, Keiko decided that she agreed with my mother and that my hair was out of control and needed to be cut. Deciding that the very least I could to do was cut it if I was going to keep bleaching it, I gave in. Keiko insisted that I wash it first so it was wet when she cut it and I complied.

They were waiting in my room while I washed my hair. Keiko was probably filling them in on every humiliating thing I'd ever done in my life and giving them detailed explanations of the pictures on my mirror. It was good to have friends who wanted to make sure that all of my friends were in on my humiliation.

I walked out of the bathroom, my towel tucked tightly around me and opened my bedroom door.

". . . so she kept telling people she wanted to be a prostitute for about three years and no one corrected her," Keiko was saying.

"Telling them all about your adventures in being an asshole to me in grade school," I said.

"Sure am. Do you have a comb for your hair?" Keiko asked.

"It's in the bathroom somewhere," I said. "I'll be right back." Yukina got up to close the door behind me.

I walked back into the bathroom and searched around for my solitary comb. I hardly used because it couldn't handle the amount of hair that I had. I held my towel tightly around me as I knelt down to look in the cabinet, finding it in basket where Shiori kept her hair stuff.

I pulled the comb out and went to walk back into my room, but the door wouldn't open.

"Hey unlock the door," I said.

I listened to them jiggle the hand from the other side and then I heard something snap.

"Uh oh," Keiko said.

"What?" I asked.

"The handle didn't fall off," Orihime said.

I sighed and rested my head against the door.

"Excellent," I said.

"Do you have a screwdriver in here somewhere?" Orihime asked. "I can get it open if you do. I'm super handy."

"Yeah, there's one in there somewhere. Probably in my desk," I said.

"Hold on. We will rescue you in a moment," Orihime said.

"I'm cold and my hair is dripping," I said.

"Stop whining," Keiko said.

I wrapped my arms around myself to keep myself warm as I heard someone coming up the stairs. I glanced over, assuming that it was Kurama. I saw the red hair and turned back to my door, but a red flag went up in my head. The person on the stairs stopped when they reached the landing. My brain took a moment to register what exactly I'd seen that was wrong.

Short hair and not red. Orange. Short orange hair.

There were only two people I knew with short, orange hair and one of them was already in Kurama's room.

I looked over and there stood Ichigo. I looked back at my door. There was truly evil at work here.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked.

"Keep your pants on," Keiko said.

"She's wearing pants. It's a shirt she's missing," Yukina said.

"Your room is so cluttered. How can you find anything?" Orihime asked.

"Sorry. I didn't-." Ichigo started.

"If you don't mind me asking, Ichigo, why are you in my house?" I asked.

"I called you from the clinic when I got home. I left my cell phone. You said you had it," he said.

"Oh, right. I forgot because I'm mourning the loss of my hair," I said. Ichigo's face was completely red and he was staring at his feet. "You really shouldn't be so embarrassed right now. You're not the one shirtless in the towel locked out of your room after all."

"You don't see yourself in a towel very often do you?" he asked, still staring at his feet.

"No. I don't usually hangout in front of mirrors while shirtless," I said.

I looked back at my door. You could cut the awkward sexual tension with a knife. "For the love of all that's sacred have you found it yet?"

"Yes! Hold on," Orihime said.

"So why are you loitering in the hallway?" he asked.

"The girls broke my doorknob and Orihime is currently trying to fix it," I said. "Why are you loitering in my hallway?"

"Because you're in the hallway in a towel and you're locked out of your room and I don't really have anywhere else to be since my phone's probably in your room," he said. He turned his back to my bedroom door so he wasn't looking at me directly anymore. "So I'm just gonna stand right here until you get my phone."

I smiled. "You're adorable."

"Nah. Just a bit old fashioned I guess," he said.

"You say potato, I say tomato," I said.

Ichigo chuckled. "That's not how that saying goes."

"Was I close?" I asked.

"Very close," he said. "Gold star for trying."

I looked Ichigo over, standing there bashfully, his face red. He was so cute. It was kind of unfair. I was supposed to be the cute one and yet here he was, being all gentlemanly and whatnot. Not cool.

Only one way to fix that.

"Ichigo," I said stepping over to him, "I'm going to do something that's going to make you uncomfortable."

"Pretty sure that ship's already sailed," he said.

I giggled. "Then this should be pretty painless."

I took another step closer to him, hugging my towel tighter to myself. I pushed myself up on my toes and I kissed him. He was hesitant at first, and I didn't blame him—I was a wet, naked, girl in a towel after all. But after a second or two, he relaxed. He even went so far as to place his hand on my shoulder and pull me closer, ignoring my damp skin and wet hair.

I dropped down to my feet, breaking the kiss.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" I asked. He leaned down and kissed me once more.

"I guess not," he said. "Except wet hair feels gross."

"Keiko's cutting it all off if I ever get back inside my room," I said.

"How short?" he asked.

"Just past my shoulders," I said.

"I think that's a good length for you," he said.

"I hate to break it to you, Shinigami, but your opinion doesn't matter. I'm not cutting my hair for you," I said.

"Oh, you're doing it for yourself," he said.

"Nope. For my mom," I said with a chuckle. "I wonder what's taking them so long."

"They got the door open a long time ago. They just saw you two swapping spit and decided not to disturb you."

I glanced over and Hiei was standing in Kurama's doorway, a stolid look on his face as usual.

"We don't need an audience, Hiei," I said.

"Actually, Kuwabara has to pee and you're blocking the bathroom and we sent Hiei to tell you to move because Kuwabara didn't want to tell you to move," Yusuke said peeking his head out the door. "Nice towel by the way. You're well on your way to joining the 'I've seen Kairi Son Naked Club.'"

"What?" Ichigo asked.

"Hey, Ichigo, let's get you that cell phone," I said opening my door.

I quickly grabbed his cell phone from my desk and handed it to him.

"Kurosaki, the first official meeting of the 'I've Seen Kairi Son Naked Club' is meeting to watch me try to redeem myself in Goblin City if you would like to join us," Yusuke said.

"No, but seriously, what are they talking about?" Ichigo asked.

"Oh, so Kairi doesn't tell you everything," Yusuke said grabbing him. "Boy do I have some hilarious stories to tell you." He pulled him into Kurama's room and closed the door.

"You should definitely be worried," Keiko said.

"You are incredibly encouraging," I said.

"We were wondering why you got so quiet and when we got the door open, we saw you were. . . busy," Keiko said. I stuck my tongue out at her. "I'll go run some interference for you while I see if your cousin has a not crummy pair of scissors."

"And I'll get some drinks," Yukina said.

The girls left Orihime and me in my room. I sat in my desk chair shivering.

"I am cold," I said.

"Cause of the hair," Orihime said poking at my blanket with a blank look on his face.

"You okay?" I asked.

She looked up at me and smiled widely, as if she hadn't been staring at my sheets in a daze.

"I'm okay!" she said cheerfully.

She was always doing that. Every once in a while she would zone out and get really quiet and seemed to retreat into her head like something was bothering her. When I'd ask her what was wrong she would behave as if it was nothing. Whatever it was she didn't want to talk about it, so I didn't press her about it.

"I see you put the handle back on. You're quite handy," I said changing thesubject.

"Oh, I have to be. I live on my own," Orihime said. "That's how I can cook so well."

"I'm not even sure why I own a screwdriver," I said.

"So I could rescue you from the hallway," Orihime said.

"Foresight—I like it," I said.

"Sorry everyone saw you in the towel," she said.

"Worse has happened. At least I'm wearing pants," I said. "Never a dull moment."

Keiko entered the room, a pair of scissors in her hand.

"You ready to do this?" she asked.

"Nope," I said.

"Oh, it'll be fine," Keiko said. "It was fine when I cut my hair."

"You had to cut your hair because half of it got singed in an apartment fire," I said, as Yukina returned. "I like my long hair. Orihime and I won't be twins anymore once I cut it."

"Orihime looks like she's never cut her hair a day in her life," Keiko said.

"I did, once," Orihime said. "In middle school. But I don't cut it anymore."

"I made my mom stop cutting my hair in sixth grade," I said. "Demons don't take you seriously if you're a girl with a bowl cut."

"They probably didn't take you seriously because you were a little kid," Keiko said patting me on the head.

"That too," I said.

"Do you need someone to hold your hand?" Keiko asked. "Haircuts can be traumatic."

"Just do it," I said.

Keiko nodded.

SNIP. SNIP. SNIP.

"No turning back now," Keiko said.

"Why don't you cut your hair anymore, Orihime?" Yukina asked.

"Because. . . I always liked my hair and was really proud of how different it was. But when I got into middle school there were girls in my class that didn't like my hair color and they attacked me with scissors and cut it, so I had to cut it short after that. My brother asked me why I cut it, but I didn't tell him. Then he bought me these." Orihime motioned to her hair pins. "I didn't want to wear them because I thought they were childish and silly. I didn't want another reason for them to pick on me. . . But then that same day my brother died in a car accident. . . I was alone after that and I stopped talking, even at school. . . But then I met Tatsuki and she pulled me out of my shell. I decided after that to stop cutting my hair and grow it out long as a sign of my faith in Tatsuki, who always protected me."

Silence. Dead silence.

"That's really sad. I mean that's beautiful what you said about your friend, but. . . That's really sad," Keiko said.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down," Orihime said.

"It's okay. Sometimes it's good to talk about the bad stuff," Yukina said. "And I asked you why you didn't cut your hair didn't I?"

"Might not have been the answer we were expecting, but an answer it was," I said, listening as Keiko continued to snip at my head. "My head feels different. Lighter."

"You must not be aware of how much hair you have," Keiko said. "Would you be interested in a mullet?"

"Don't make me fight you, Yukimura," I said. She chuckled.

"I'm almost done. I just need to even you out a bit," Keiko said.

"I like it shorter. You look less burdened," Orihime said.

Keiko turned me to look in my mirror. "Tah-dah. Done. How'd I do?"

"You did fine. . . Although I'm more aware of how much I look like my mother," I said.

Keiko took my hair and twisted it up into a bun. "Hmm. I still say you favor your dad more." She let my hair go and it fell down just past my shoulders and stopped. "You're still pretty though."

"Baby, I know," I said with a wink. I got to my feet and looked down to my floor. "I'm going to put a shirt on and then get something to clean up all this hair with."

"In retrospect wet hair on a carpet was not our best idea," Keiko said getting up and going to my dresser.

"But Kairi has to clean it up, so it's okay," Orihime said. I pulled a shirt out and quickly pulled it on.

"Speaking of Kairi and cleaning, did she ever tell about how she made Uryu transfer out of our elementary school?" Keiko asked.

"Ewe. Leaving now," I said. I tossed my towel aside and walked out of my room, and downstairs to the kitchen. I opened the kitchen closet and pulled out the broom.

"Finally dressed I see." I frowned at the voice and turned back to glare at Hiei.

"Leave it to you to comment on the fact that I have clothes on and not about my hair being gone," I said.

"One was more obvious than the other," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "You're just jealous because I never kissed you while wearing a towel," I said.

"You're right. Maybe the memory of it happening while taking your pants off will comfort me," he said sarcastically.

I felt my whole face go red as the memory came flooding back to me.

"I suppose I set myself up for that one didn't I?" I asked. He nodded.

"Could you perhaps do me favor and not bring that up while my aunt is in the house? I know she's sleeping, but she's got mom ears."

"Sure," he said.

"And. . .You didn't mention that in front of Ichigo do you?" I asked.

"Why?" Hiei asked.

"You know damn well why," I said.

Hiei nodded. "I see."

"I'm just saying. You were always so rude to Trunks and Ichigo's fuse is even shorter than his and I know you like to harass people just to harass them," I said. "I just don't know why you're so easily put off by people I seem to be dating."

I stared at Hiei for a long moment, waiting for him to answer.

"Maybe you just have bad taste," he said.

I frowned at him. "You do realize that I liked you right? Are you saying that was in bad taste?"

"Probably," he said. I frowned at him. This guy had an answer for everything.

"I think you acted like that with Trunks because you liked me too," I said.

"Please," Hiei scoffed.

"Part of you had to," I said. "I mean, otherwise none of that stuff that happened between us would have happened, right?"

And so I waited for him to answer again, this time to deny his feelings for me like, he had done before. Lying so he could prove that he didn't care.

"Any attraction that I had toward then," he said, "was purely physical."

I glared at him. "That's nice. Because every girl wants to hear 'I only wanted you for your body.'"

"I didn't mean-."

"That's what you said, so unless you were lying to me. . ." I paused again, waiting for him to change his story, but he said nothing. "Either you're an asshole or a liar, Hiei. Which is it?"

He turned away from me, preparing to leave the kitchen before he answered. "Asshole."