The Advertisement
Kisshu had decided he officially hated his principal. He never really liked her, of course, but now he HATED her. She had punished him for hitting Kino, even though that jerk had punched him first, and now he was thinking of ways to get back at her.
He didn't have any ideas until his first day of computer class. The teacher waited till everyone was seated before saying, "We'll be working on typing today. The program is already open on your computer; just click start, and follow the instructions."
The students obeyed, including Kisshu. They spent the next hour practicing typing and proper hand positions. The teacher came around, correcting mistakes and giving tips.
Kisshu had gotten the hang of it fairly quickly, and when the teacher came over to him, she looked startled, and said, "Good job, Kisshu. You're a fast learner. Would you like to try something different?"
"Okay!" Kisshu said.
"Click the red 'X', and close the program," the teacher said. Kisshu obeyed, and the teacher leaned over to click on a different program. This one appeared to be a blank page with an options bar, and the teacher said, "This is a program for typing your own work. You can type in anything you want, as long as it's reasonably appropriate."
"Yay!" Kisshu said happily. He waited till the teacher left, then clicked the 'Bold' button to make the letters stand out more clearly. Then he started typing. By the time the bell rang, he was finished, and asked, "Can I print this?"
"Oh, fine," the teacher said. "Click Save, and then Print. They both come up as options when you click File."
Kisshu did so, and the printer made a whirring noise. Kisshu went over to the printer, and got his paper, then left for the next class before the computer teacher could see what he had done. Hiding it in his bag, he went to his next class.
The next morning: Kisshu got up early, left a note for his parents, and quietly left the house. He teleported to his school, and started work on his latest 'idea'. After school the previous day, he had snuck into the computer room and made quite a few copies of the sign he had typed up during computer class. Snickering quietly, he started taping them up. This is what they said:
Wanted: A new elementary school principal.
Job Description: Being friendly, keeping the bullies in line, and giving out cookies every day.
Requirements: Friendly, young (preferably under a hundred), hates bullies, likes cookies, and used to be a kid.
Salary: If you're better than the old hag who currently is principal, you get twice what she gets paid.
If interested, please contact Nariyama Kanna.
Kisshu had one paper left when he got a very evil idea, and teleported to a large bulletin board downtown. Then he posted the last poster, and teleported back to school.
Unfortunately for him, the principal teleported in at the same time. She looked at the paper on the door, then turned to Kisshu and asked, "You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?"
"No, I just got here," Kisshu said. "What does the paper say?"
"It appears to be an advertisement for a new principal," the principal said. "Though I can't imagine why the writer of this wants people to contact Kanna."
"Maybe she's the one who wrote that," Kisshu said innocently.
"Judging by the fact the writer called me an 'old hag', I'd say you're wrong," the principal said dryly.
"Maybe it's Kino, then," Kisshu said.
"I suspended him again, that's impossible," the principal said.
"Wow, you actually punished him instead of me?" Kisshu asked. "Good job, I thought you'd never realize he's the real problem."
"Maybe so, but you're not much better- just in a different way," the principal said. "Hang on, did you have computer class yesterday?"
"Yup, Nemu-sensei said I did a great job," Kisshu said. "She let me use a program that lets you type what you want, not what the program wants. Why?"
"You wouldn't happen to have typed one of these posters and then gone back to print more after school, would you?" the principal asked suspiciously.
"Uh…" Kisshu said.
The principal glared at him, but before she could scold him, they heard teleportation, and a young woman appeared. "Kia?" the principal asked.
"One of the Council members found this on the bulletin board," Kia said, holding up the last of Kisshu's posters. "Yumemi-sama sent me to ask why your second-graders want a new principal."
"They don't, Kisshu here just decided since I put him on clean-up duty for starting a fistfight, he'd find some way of getting revenge," the principal sighed.
"Okay, first, KINO started the fistfight, and second, it's not just me, it's everyone who thinks Kino should be expelled- which is about the entire school," Kisshu said. "The ONLY kids who don't want Kino expelled are Hayate and Kyou, and I bet he brainwashed them. If you had listened to me when I told you Kino hit me first, Kia-san wouldn't be here."
"I suspended Kino after you ran off," the principal said. "Clean-up duty is not as serious as suspensions, and I did listen, but the fact remains that you were the one who dislocated Kino's shoulder. He barely gave you a bruise."
Kia sighed as Kisshu glared at the principal, and said, "I'll go let Yumemi-sama know it was a prank, but I'm also going to let her know that Kino is becoming a real problem. This is what, the fifth time he's hit someone?"
"No, it's about the five hundredth time," Kisshu said. "And he likes beating up the kindergarteners for fun. He's EVIL."
"And I suppose there's a reason we haven't heard about this yet?" Kia asked.
"Dinosaur Lady didn't want everyone to know that she can't keep him under control," Kisshu said bluntly. "That's why I put up ads for a new principal."
Kia sighed and said, "I'll go talk with the Council…. They've been looking for a new project anyways." She teleported off, and the principal glared at Kisshu.
"What? It's true," Kisshu said. "You're totally incompetent when it comes to Kino. Did he brainwash you?"
"NO, he did not," the principal said. "The teachers should be arriving soon; please go to class."
"Mmph," Kisshu said, and teleported off.
Meanwhile, with Kia: Kia teleported to the Council room, and Yumemi-sama came over. "What's the news?" she asked.
"Ikisatashi Kisshu put the sign up because apparently the principal isn't doing much about Akogare Kino's behavior, which is getting worse," Kia said. "Apparently he's moved on from teasing his classmates to beating up kindergarteners. And he started a fistfight with Kisshu, who got punished for starting it, hence the advertisement he typed up."
"Kino's beating up kindergarteners now?" a man on the Council asked. "Why haven't we heard anything about this?"
"Probably because the principal doesn't want to admit she can't control Kino," Yumemi-sama said. "Should we be starting an inquiry?"
"If Kino's beating up anyone, regardless of age, something should be done," a woman said. "Who's going to go question the principal?"
"I will," Yumemi-sama said. "The rest of you, wait here." She teleported off.
At the school: Kisshu was sitting in class when the loudspeaker came on and said, "Ikisatashi Kisshu, please come to the office."
Kisshu sighed and teleported off with his bag. Landing in the office, he asked without regard for the second person in the room, "What did I do NOW?"
The principal sighed and said, "You're not in trouble for once; Yumemi-sama here wanted to ask you some questions about Kino, since you see more of him than I do."
"Kino's evil," Kisshu said.
"What makes him evil?" Yumemi-sama asked.
"He picks on everyone, beats up anyone who so much as looks at him wrong, doesn't care about anyone besides himself, calls me 'Grasshead', harasses people he doesn't like, he tried to give one of the girls a haircut before I took his scissors away, calls the kindergarteners scum and makes them cry, uses dirty language, shoves people out of his way, picks a different target each week and makes that person's life a misery, he tried to stab me with a pair of scissors, he stole one of the kindergarten girls' sandwich yesterday and ate it in front of her, he told the newest kindergartener that he was going to use her for a game of catch with Hayate and Kyou, I think he brainwashed Hayate and Kyou, because they used to be nicer, he cheats on tests, and he keeps giving people wedgies," Kisshu said. "And Dinosaur Lady's punishments don't do anything. Everyone here except Hayate and Kyou wants him gone. Since you're on the Council, can YOU expel him? If he gets expelled, then Dinosaur Lady can keep her job. He's the only problem."
"Your pranks aren't a problem?" the principal asked.
"None of them involved bodily harm to anyone," Kisshu said. "Even the time I booby-trapped the classroom didn't hurt anyone; you and Sensei just got soaked and muddy. And it's not MY fault you've got bald spots; I didn't force you to rip your hair out."
"From what I've heard, he has a point," Yumemi-sama said. "Kino is suspended right now, correct?"
"Yes," the principal said.
"You can tell his parents that he's not welcome back; he's obviously a problem, and one that could potentially become a danger," Yumemi-sama said. "I will go to them as well, but I suggest you tell them first. I have to get back."
The principal bowed, and Kisshu did the same. Yumemi-sama nodded and teleported out.
Longer this time…. Now Kino will be expelled! Any ideas for Kisshu's next prank? Review and tell me!