Chapter 40-Beyond the Mirror
Dhran slept soundly, holding onto Aurelia as they lay together in mutual slumber. He had been up nearly a full day talking with Sitedal and Verdra and their plans for going to search for Ladetis and bring him back. Deep inside, however, Airu reasoned that the dragon they might have watched come into the world was no longer pure, given who it had bonded with. For now he was happy being where he was, with the woman who would become his wife and the mother of their child in a matter of months.
Aurelia snuggled against his bare chest and he gradually brought himself back to his waking thoughts, tightening his grip on her as if she could somehow vanish from his arms. She was wearing the band he had made for her all the time now as a symbol of their love until the wedding, which he hadn't even begun to plan yet with the war going on. He hoped she would not have to have the child during the conflict but he would be by her side no matter what.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear, brushing a strand of her hair out of the way so he could lightly kiss her cheek. She mumbled something inaudible and he chuckled, resting his chin on the top of her head.
You'll do fine in parenthood, the soft chime of Seraphina's voice echoed out to him, despite her being down the hall from where he was.
He sighed, kissing the top of Aurelia's head. You place so much trust in me, why?
I would not if I knew you couldn't handle it. Like your ancestors, you hold a tremendous amount of power when it comes to responsibility and respect.
Thank you, I needed that.
The warmth in her tone soothed him, driving away the doubts he had held onto since Makiar had confirmed Aurelia's pregnancy. While my mother never knew yours, Finca was close to Tronay. Talk with her about your fears, I'm sure she can help.
What would a dragon know about giving live birth? Dhran asked humorously, cradling his fiancee gingerly as he glanced over the spare objects the room had. There was a bed and a small table, with a door leading to an adjacent bathroom. Cherry oak wood had been used for the bed frame and the table, with regular pine being the type used for the doors.
I will come later to see you. Father is insisting I learn the basics of flying today and I would not want to disappoint him.
Alright, Airu muttered, disappointed that Sitedal was keeping her from him when she was his bonded partner.I'll see you later.
Tell Aurelia I'm thinking about her, Seraphina hummed before Dhran unwrapped himself from his love and got up out of bed, heading toward the door to the bathroom. His feet were bare and the only article of clothing he had on was a pair of black pants. Aurelia had wore only slightly more to bed than he, not that it mattered since he had no interest in proclaiming his right to her any more than he had already.
He heard her begin to stir and stopped at the edge of the bed, placing a hand on the satin black sheets. "I'll be back," he promised, realizing she was waiting for an answer as to why he wasn't in bed with her.
"Don't take long," Aurelia whispered, curling up into the sheets as Dhran took a long look at her before leaving the room.
He closed the door gently and quickly scanned the room. Other than a toilet, a shower, and a sink with a mirror above it, there was little to see in the same room he had proposed to Aurelia in while she was still young in her pregnancy. Crossing over to the sink, he placed a hand on either side and hung his head. Who was he kidding? He couldn't be a father, not when he had still so much more to learn and see.
Slowly he raised his gaze to the mirror that hung over the sink, observing how sleep depraved he really was and seeing the beginnings of a beard along his chin. His attention turned to the white bandage that wrapped most of the right side of his face and he glanced down at the sink for something to use to unwrap the cloth. A pair of scissors lay just out of his reach but he went and grabbed them anyway, lifting them up to the bindings and beginning to cut through the two day old fabric.
As each strip fell to the floor, Dhran saw the blotchy red of healing cuts and the blacked and charred skin that still remained. He wondered why Makiar hadn't taken the rest of his burnt flesh off and then wrapped the wound. With each piece gone, Airu realized how deeply he had hurt Sitedal and Verdra by bonding to Seraphina. Halfway through, he put the scissors down and hung his head, bitter tears collecting in his eyes. Seraphina didn't know the pain he felt each time he looked at her, the brief thought that maybe another dragon might have survived if she hadn't been so selfishly hatched.
Gathering his courage, he raised his head and finished the job, trying to not flinch every time he caught a glimpse of the mangled skin left behind by Sitedal or happened to brush against a healing cut that oozed pus. When he got to his eye, he was extra careful with the wrapping but he couldn't prepare himself for what he saw once he removed the cloth. There was nothing left of his eye other than a thin flap of skin where the eyeball once was, the eye socket itself was red and swollen.
Dhran dropped the scissors, pressing a hand against his stomach to keep from getting sick. What had Sitedal done to him? He had only wanted a dragon for a partner and yet, because of that, he lost an eye and was left with a mangled right side of his face to show for it. Squeezing the lip of the sink with his other hand, Airu turned around and slid to the ground, sobbing. To lose a part of himself simply because of a wish was . . . inhumane. A soft knock on the door startled him and he jerked his head up, nearly bumping it on the underside the sink itself.
"Who it is?" He called out as he reigned his emotions back under control, bringing his knees up and resting his arms on them.
"Are you alright Airu?" Aurelia, he realized solemnly, had asked the question and had come to check on him. "I couldn't get back to sleep and decided to check on you. Can I come in?"
He rested his head on his arms, closing his eye as he sniffed. "Sure, love. The door's unlocked."
A quiet rustle of material and the slight noise of the door opening told Dhran more than he could bare to know. He feared she might find him ugly or that she would now reject his proposal for marriage. There was no telling when his face would ever heal, if it ever did, and he was ashamed to think she might choose to abandon him.
"You took the bandages off," she remarked as he opened his eye to see her standing in the doorway with a large t-shirt on. Nothing in her expression seemed hateful, only sympathetic and genuinely concerned for him.
He nodded, afraid to speak, afraid he might start crying again. Aurelia continued, "I'm sorry Dhran. You could have told me you were going to do that. I thought you just had to use the bathroom and you'd be back but now . . ."
Dhran swallowed, eyes welling up with tears as Aurelia smiled softly and walked over, sitting down beside him. "I proposed here to you," he whispered, unable to meet her gaze for fear of getting emotional. "I laid my heart out and you took it, promising to love me for who I was. Is that still true? Even with everything that's happened? Can you still love me?"
"Oh Dhran, you know I would never leave you." Her smile was genuine and her concern was enough that Airu finally looked at her as she took one of his hands and held it firmly in both of hers.
He found himself smiling back at her, placing his free hand on her abdomen. "Seraphina told me Sitedal wanted to teach her the basics of flying today." He sighed. "She isn't happy about spending time away from us and the baby."
"She cares as much for the baby as we do. I think it's touching," Aurelia pointed out as Dhran collected himself in preparation for looking into the mirror again.
"Well, I believe she has simply included our baby in the family she has sworn to protect." Clutching the sink, Dhran pulled himself up and stood with his back to the glass, still ashamed of the image he saw reflected in it.
Aurelia joined him a moment later, resting a hand on his shoulder. "I know this is hard but we can get past this-"
"I have never been afraid to look into a mirror and see my reflection. When are we going to get past this because I certainly will not be able to for a long while?"
She gave him a halfhearted smile. "Dhran, trust me." He glanced away, keeping a firm grip on the edge of the sink. "You know, when we first met I thought I was going to lose you even before I had a chance to meet you. Even them I could see you were a special person, and now look where we are. Seraphina chose you for the same reason I did, despite whatever feelings you have against Sitedal for what he did to you upon the hatching of his daughter by your hands."
Dhran shook his head, glancing over at her. Aurelia always knew what she could say to brighten his mood, no matter the situation. He reached for her hand and held it gently, locking eyes with his beloved. She, as always, was right about moving past the scarred image he saw of who he was on the outside.
"My sweet Aurelia," he muttered before he pulled her over to him and gave her a gentle kiss.
"When are you going to tell Seraphina about this?" Aurelia asked as soon as Dhran ended their kiss. "From what you mentioned of your earlier conversation with her, she sounded like she was in a good mood. This news will crush her spirits to know her rider is deformed because of her own father."
"I don't know when I'll tell her," Dhran sighed, looking down at the wooden floor under his bare feet. "Maybe she won't find out . . ."
Aurelia chuckled, amused. "She'll find out, somehow." Dhran's gaze darkened. "Seriously, love, it will be fine. Seraphina rose above the challenges placed before her to become your dragon. Her trust in you is stronger than any words I could say."
"Maybe you're right," Dhran admitted, finally gathering the courage to look at the mirror again, seeing his scarred image stare back at him. "Maybe she chose me for a different reason than what I imagine."
"Come on back to bed," Aurelia suggested, placing a firm hand on his shoulder to steer him in the right direction.
Dhran allowed her to lead him to the door before he stopped, taking her arm. "I have something I need to do, something that won't take long."
Aurelia sighed, averting her gaze. "Fine," she muttered, going to their bed and laying down, her back to him.
Airu smiled briefly, then left the room and went out into the hall outside, reaching out with his thoughts toward Seraphina. She answered him joyfully, revealing that Sitedal was pleased with her short progress. Dhran was equally pleased, knowing Seraphina would work hard to accomplish all set before her, the realization touching him that they were nearly of identical minds. Making his way down the hallway, Dhran lightly trailed a finger along the flower designs on the wall, marveling at how much detail had been put into the images. He briefly wondered what plants they were before the icy-chill of Tamli's mind touched his own.
What is it, hybrid? Dhran snarled, wishing he had put on a shirt before leaving Aurelia.
I need your input; more specifically, I need your knowledge of dragon souls.
What do you want that for? Airu knew his tone was harsh, but he was irritated at being disturbed at dawn break.
Tamli was quiet for a moment, finally breaking the silence just as Dhran thought he could take it no longer. Finca needs the knowledge, she thinks there may be a way to recover my memory through the use of a dragon soul.
Tamli, just because a dragon can dislodge it doesn't mean it can be of any help to an amnestic useless hybrid! Despite his anger, Dhran immediately wished he could take back what he had said as soon as he uttered it mentally. Tamli was still struggling with his memory loss and it had to be hard for him to see a way out of the emptiness of his mind.
I see. Tamli's words were slow to come, his pride probably hurt from the harsh comment. Could you meet me in Finca's chamber?
Of course, Dhran agreed, relaying the information to Seraphina, who understood the changes in plans and promised to be waiting there for him once he arrived.
How much longer? Ladetis asked as Tanui felt his way through the blackness of the tunnel they had been traveling through for the past few hours. He knew both of them were eager to be free of the dark underground and be back in light, not to mention how Nethial felt about what was going on. For the most part, she had been quiet during their trip, only speaking when they went a wrong way or needing to clarify something, but otherwise she was a good addition to their team.
I'm not sure, Tanui replied, ducking under a low portion of the roof above them. Ask Nethial, she'll know.
But she's so quiet, Ladetis growled, barely squeezing under the same section Tanui had ventured through minutes later. What's the point of keeping her with us if she won't talk to us?
'I will speak when I wish,' Nethial remarked, barely opening one eye to regard Ladetis with disinterest.
Ladetis growled at the reply, snapping at her back as she trailed behind Tanui, her guidance leading them out of the underground network that had seen rise to the true power of the cloning operation started by Misery and Amia. Nethial sighed, placing a hand on Tanui's shoulder, gently turning him to the left.
'Up a little ways and we will reach the end,' she commented, exchanging a brief glance with him before Tanui changed direction and started up towards the surface.
She isn't so bad, is she Ladetis? Tanui questioned as he sensed his dragon's dislike of her grow stronger, the feeling having been present ever since they had discovered her.
No, but don't think I'm going to break down and admit I'm wrong after one day with her. She's still insane . . . even if she doesn't show it as much now.
Tanui felt Nethial stiffen, realizing Ladetis's comments were upsetting her. Ladetis, stop it.
Why? She doesn't even know what's it like to be normal anymore, the dragon snapped back.
'I know more than you do, hatchling,' Nethial hissed, turning around to face Ladetis, her eyes dark with rage. 'I know what's it like to lose the ones closest to you, having nothing to hold onto of them.' Her expression slowly changed, aguish replacing anger as she closed her eyes, clutching her head.
"Nethial, we can stop if you need us to," Tanui informed her as he turned and gingerly placing a hand on her shoulder, glaring at Ladetis for the dragon's actions.
She lowered a hand, brushing his arm away. 'No, I'll be fine,' she muttered, trembling slightly. 'It just happens sometimes. I get overworked and lose it, becoming a crying lunatic that huddles in a corner, but you saw that side of me already.'
"Indeed I did," Tanui chuckled, smiling softly as they exchanged looks again.
And I missed it, Ladetis snorted, averting his gaze as Nethial focused on him again.
'Ladetis, let me give you some advice. Never mention my . . . mind set around others. Letting them know I'm back is enough to trigger a reaction from those that have only heard of me. Most don't even know I lived, which is sad.'
"Most have no idea of the cloning process Amia started," Tanui added, smirking as the realization hit him of what she was trying to accomplish. "In fact, the clones won't be seen until they attack. Amia made us with the goal of destroying Tamli at all costs."
'He's alive. How?' Tanui sighed, running a hand through his hair as Ladetis growled, mentally laughing at the rider's failure to mention the survival of the original hybrid to the woman who had loved him and had a child with him.
"Long story . . . let's just say he's . . . a little bit off right now."
Memory loss, Ladetis explained, unsatisfied with his master's diverted answer. Amia caused it, then nearly killed him, right master?
Tanui forced himself to exhale, furious at his dragon for telling Nethial that information. She had mentioned little of Tamli to him so he had figured she didn't want to see him again, but Ladetis had to ruin the moment by revealing that the hybrid was still alive. Gathering his anger, he shook his head, glaring at Ladetis as he felt the dragonet take a step back out of primal fear.
'There is no need for worry,' Nethial remarked after a moment. 'I have no interest in seeing him again. He left me alone with Raoul, having to struggle to keep Finca interested in life. He deserves every bit of pain coming to him.'
As well he shall receive, Ladetis growled in agreement, slapping the ground with the tip of his tail. Master and I will see to it personally.
Nethial nodded at the idea.'Good, I only ask to be there when you make him pay. He owes me more than you can imagine, a debt he will pay in full.'