Chapter 41-Fragments of Loss
Tanui held back a sigh as they stopped shortly after their venture back aboveground. Nethial had taken to the lightness rather well, although now she huddled under a tree, muttering something so low he couldn't make out her words. Ladetis was basking in the sun, letting the warmth heat up his body, and possibly sleeping as a result. They had barely made it out of the tunnel, which had led to a small cave in a boulder-filled area, before Nethial had suggested resting under a grove of trees that she had seen to the east, which now was where they remained until they felt rested enough to continue.
"You okay?" Tanui asked as he walked over and gingerly placed a hand on her arm, noticing how her gaze flickered rapidly around and the tensed state of her body even with the lightest skin-to-skin contact of a simple touch. He suspected she probably had no idea where she was, given it had been her first steps into daylight in over ten thousand years.
'Darkness, silence, pain,' she hissed, jerking back from his touch. 'Make it stop. Make it stop!'
"Make what stop? Nethial, what are you saying?"
'Lightning tears the ground. Run, run . . . No!'
Without putting much thought into what he was doing, Tanui gripped her arm, pulling her to her feet. He dragged her out into the sunlight, ignoring her screeching protests to stop, and pushed her away from him. The change in her was immediate. She stop trying to fight and closed her eyes, clenching her hands so hard blood oozed from her palms.
'No,' Nethial growled, twisting her head away as Tanui took a step toward her.
"You will get better," he commanded. "We will start right now. I gave you time to adjust but that isn't enough it seems. More direct methods may prove useful." He slid his sword free from its sheath, channeling power into the ruby stone that set in its pommel. Once he had enough, he used the same process he used back in the Compound when he copied Tamli's sword to forge Nethial a blade nearly identical to his. The only differences were that her sword's pommel was white with an orange stone set in the center to reflect her original dragon's colors, as done with all blades of the riders.
Tanui finished the blade, also crafting a simple leather sheath like his for her to keep the sword in when not using it. Once he had both of those done, he sheathed the new weapon and went over to her, strapping the leather to her right hip, to reflect her backhanded left grip she had used in the caves during the fight with the clone. "Here, use it," he ordered before he backed away, drawing his own sword and pointing it at her back.
He watched as her hand grabbed the weapon, the tenseness of her back loosening as she pulled the blade free. Tanui wished he could see her expression but her behavior was enough to show him that she was recovering from her lostness by something as simple as being gifted a sword to fight with. Ladetis stirred briefly but went back to sleep per Tanui's suggestion, understanding there was nothing going on so the dragonet could regain its strength. Already the cuts and bite marks looked better, although the slashes on Ladetis's muzzle would have be to addressed soon to prevent infection.
'You want to fight?' Nethial questioned, surprising Tanui with how clear her voice was after she had been held in her madness for several hours.
"Why do you think I made you that blade?" Tanui remarked, shifting back onto his left leg as he readied himself for a running leap to clear her and maybe cross their weapons in a battle.
'Alright,' she muttered, opening her eyes and taking a step back in surprise, whirling around to face him. 'You made a copy of the original blade I once wore . . . I never thought . . .'
Tanui lifted his free hand to his head. "I told you I have his memories," he chuckled, watching as her eyes darkened and she lowered her right arm out of the way, her left hand switching to the reverse hold he had seen her use during the encounter in the tunnels.
She sprung for him, jumping over his head and flipping to land on her feet. He briefly smiled, recognizing her muscle memory taking effect, but soon forced himself to focus only on the enemy he was fighting against. Tanui spun, barely having time to block a slash from her that would have sliced his neck open. He backed up, shifting his weight to his left foot, and charged forward, giving her little time to raise her blade to block his.
Sparks flew from the interlocked swords as Nethial's gaze flickered, her arm lowering half an inch. Tanui took the opportunity and lashed out, knocking her blade away and laying the point of his weapon on her collarbone. He was about to withdraw his sword from her neck when she growled, thrusting her sword straight across his chest, the tip of the blade staining bright red. Tanui jerked back, scrambling to get distance between them, only to have Nethial touch his collarbone with the point of her sword.
'Never let your guard down,' she hissed before she let go of her sword, raising her left hand to her head and squeezing her eyes shut, grimacing as if in pain.
Tanui dodged the falling blade and ripped a portion of cloth from the bottom of his cloak to press against the lengthy gash that trailed across his chest from her secretive strike against him. He sheathed his blade in the same instant as Nethial started to collapse, his right hand barely reaching her back before she fell to the ground. Ladetis, awoken by the commotion of metal hitting metal, was immediately at Tanui's side, ready to help if his master's strength wasn't enough. The pressure of her weight on his broken knuckles pained him but Tanui held strong, allowing Ladetis to heal the wound on his chest so he could use both hands to hold Nethial.
Allow me, Ladetis hummed as he lowered his snout and Tanui gently removed his hands so she slowly slid to the ground next to the white dragonet.
What happened to her? Tanui asked Ladetis as the hatchling lifted a wing and draped it over the unconscious former rider to prevent a sunburn from developing.
Overexertion from what I saw. That slight half-an-inch drop in her arm gave it away. I was about to let you know but then she collapsed.
Tanui sighed, rubbing his right arm as he unsheathed his sword and proceeded to wipe it free of blood by using blades of grass. Well, some warning would have been nice.
You can't expect her to have the stamina we do, master. She's been down in those tunnels for six years, losing her mind and blaming herself for it. You saw those burns on her skin as well as I did, but . . .
We also know more about her past then most, Ladetis. I . . . cannot fully break free of Tamli's feelings for her, feelings I may equally share. Tanui shook his head, averting his gaze. No, I won't show it until she makes some progress. Where should we go though? If we get even remotely close to the Compound then they'll know she's back, and we can't have that happen.
What about beyond the sea? Certainly there must be an island or someplace we could stay for several days, at least until we figure things out further.
That might just work, Tanui agreed, finishing cleaning his blade and sheathing it back until he needed it once more. First, though, she has to wake up, then we'll tell her about our plans.
Ladetis snorted, his head resting right next to Tanui as they awaited Nethial's return to consciousness. Indeed, but remember what we promised her. We will help her find her dragon . . . What is it?
Attor, that his name, her dragon I mean, Tanui commented, briefly glancing at his bonded partner of mind. He once had feelings for Tamli's dragon, feelings Finca never shared. I don't blame Nethial for wanting to find him, I'd feel the same way if I lost you.
I would search for you as well, master, Ladetis growled, lifting his outstretched wing slightly to check on Nethial.
In sleeping, she looked so innocent, yet they both knew that innocence wasn't there at all due to what she had been through. Her hair was matted with dirt and the rags on the skin she hadn't burned were lightly dusted in brown. A single lock of hair had curved around her cheek, prompting Tanui to lightly brush it away with a finger. He wanted so much to make it up to her after what she had experienced, to take all the bad things away and show her how life could be cherished and welcomed instead of treating it like a prison.
Tanui shook his head and stood, stretching as he relaxed his tensed muscles from the fight. Ladetis hummed in content and lowered his wing back down, only to snort and bring it back up a moment later. Nethial had braced a hand against the flexible material, her grey eyes open and locked onto Tanui's with clarity he had rarely seen from her.
'Leave to the north. Cross the sea . . . find Tel-var . . .'
"Tel-var for Attor," Tanui added, nodding in agreement as Ladetis stood and folded his wings against his back.
'From the mist, find him.'
We will, troubled one, we will, Ladetis assured her, glancing to Tanui for confirmation.
"Then we must start immediately on our journey."
Tamli rested on the bed of straw Finca usually used to sleep, his mind wandering far from the comfort he sought. Tanui's appearance had unnerved all of them, particularly Raoul, and then for the near-perfect clone to leave with a hatchling . . . He wasn't sure what to make of the behavior but he couldn't afford to dwell on the subject. Finca was out hunting and Raoul was visiting Dhran and Aurelia, allowing him some much needed time to himself, only he was distracted with other thoughts.
He rolled over on his side, watching the entrance to the room for signs of anyone coming to speak with him. Dhran's reply to him had confused him, made him question why he had even wanted advice on something he figured wouldn't work anyway. The rider and dragon hadn't been any luck on the idea, leaving moments after they came with the promise of returning once they knew something. Tamli almost wanted Makiar to visit him, it would give him something to do other than stare at empty space and fret over the cloning process Amia had started.
Getting up off the straw, Tamli stretched, casting his thoughts out for anyone to communicate with, only to stumble across something he hadn't intended to find. With his memory mostly gone from him, he was used to memory flashes, but not . . .
. . . A flash of pain jetted up his side, causing him to stumble and fall to the ground. Amia snarled from within his mind and Santerous also seemed concerned over something, urging him to hurry and make it to the place his beloved was fighting. He scrambled to his feet, breaking into a run as he stretched his limbs to the max to clear as much ground as he could. The voices were distant but he recognized one of them, one he never expected to hear again. Maybe that was why Amia had allowed him to take control, so he could watch in agony as she was ripped from him once more. Cresting the current hill he had fought to climb up, he stared down into chaos as two large armies fought between themselves.
One consisted of dragons and other creatures called upon to save their home while the other side was filled of beings made from darkness, and also the woman he had loved. Leaving her had been as hard as leaving Finca, but to know she had been pregnant with their son when he left still agonized his tortured soul. He wiped away a tear, cursing his continued feelings for her even though he hadn't seen her in twenty years. Amia's impatience stirred him on, despite the panic that slowly was building up in him.
A flash of lightning split the air, revealing a woman kneeling off to the side, holding her shoulder. Tamli broke back into a run, nearly rolling down the hill as he rushed to get to her and protect her. He saw from the corner of his eye, a white dragon making its way through the dark forces that prevented it from nearing the human. It was no surprise Attor had chosen to fight for those wishing to save their home, but he was surprised that the dragon still cared enough to try and defend Nethial from the fate she had dealt herself. From Santerous they had been kept informed about their former home, a life each of them had stopped living once they had been forced together into one body. Three souls each with their own personality had been a challenge to adapt to but they were learning how to go about in the new state, one that now seemed unable to cope with the strain.
Tamli drew the white sword that hung at the hip of the body they all shared, cutting down those that stood in his way to get to Nethial. He finally grew tired of fighting so many creatures and jumped, throwing down a blast of aura into the center of the group. The resulting shockwave took care of the large number of enemies after them, allowing him to go to her side faster than he would have been able to if he had stopped to fight every one that had come at him. Seconds before he touched her shoulder, a spear of light rained down from the sky, ripping through her body and throwing him off his feet. He heard Amia grumble about something but his gaze was on Nethial as her body grew rigid and she fell backwards.
He caught her as she fell, driving his left knee into the ground to give him enough momentum to slide under her and ease her into his arms. A blast of wind whipped past him and he briefly looked up to see Attor clearing the last of the monsters from around him, the dragon intent on reaching Nethial. Tamli chuckled low in his throat, his gaze fixing on the approaching dragon as he passed a request to Attor to stay put in case another lightning spear should strike. He knew the chances were nothing but he really wanted to hold her body one last time, despite the circumstances.
"You . . . came . . ." Nethial wheezed as she opened her eyes to see him holding her dying body.
"How is he?" Tamli asked, realizing he would have liked to meet his son before he had to say goodbye to the woman he had loved and would have married had things gone differently.
"Our . . . son? He . . . looks . . . so . . ." Her breathing was labored, her voice cracking as she tried so hard to talk to him. It nearly broke his heart to see her losing her life before his eyes. He knew Amia and Santerous were keeping quiet to allow him time to be with her, the only reason he had come to the battlefield anyway.
"Save your strength, my love," he whispered, removing her helm as he ran a hand along her black hair, watching her grey eyes dimming as they lost the spark of life.
Nethial twitched, her muscles clenching tightly as she gave a weak cry of pain. Tamli lowered his head to hers and kissed her lightly on her forehead, wishing he could take her place and die instead of watching her life drain out of her as the minutes passed. He gently lowered her body to the ground and took a step back, motioning for Attor to come over even as he turned and started to walk away . . .
Tamli jerked back to himself, barely able to keep his emotions together. He had seen so much, felt so much from that memory flash. From within the depths of his mind he felt Finca brush against his consciousness but he ignored her and walked over to the closest wall, placing a hand up against it and hanging his head. His first love had died fighting on the wrong side of a war, her dragon prevented from coming to her dying aid by his selfishness. How could he had been so cruel to prohibit her own partner-of-mind from being with her as she slowly died?
Tamli! Finca screeched, breaking through his mental walls as he felt her entire fury consuming his mind. You had another memory flash, didn't you? That's why you weren't answering me. Her rage calmed some, allowing him time to explain what he had seen as best he could make of the vision. You witnessed her death . . . I'm so sorry, little one. Do you want me to come and comfort you?
No, he managed to whisper in reply, closing his eyes as he felt hot tears stinging the corners of his eyes. No, I just want to be alone.
Finca seemed disappointed in the reply but she didn't question it, instead withdrawing from his mind as he sank to the floor, letting out his feelings with a strangled cry. He was right in wanting to be alone, he couldn't face having to admit to her that he felt heartbroken over the loss of the very woman who he had bore a son with years ago during his youth. Losing Nethial back then had meant little to him, but now it tore him apart. He had left to protect her but she had died and he had prevented her own dragon from being with her at her death.