I blinked my eyes slowly open. I was warm and comfortable, and I didn't want to get up. Yet what I saw startled me into alertness. This wasn't my room. It was... Kanda's...

But that didn't make sense. Kanda never let me stay the night in his room. He always kicked me out after sex, even waking me up to do so. He never stayed in my room either. So why had he let me stay? I'd been so positive that last night was the end of us, so why was I still here?

It wasn't until I heard him snicker behind me that I realized he was still in the bed with me. "Something on your mind, Moyashi?"

"What- ...? Why- ...?"

He laughed at my confusion. "We're going to have to get used to sleeping in the same bed at some point, right?"

"...What are you talking about?"

Kanda's arm moved from around my shoulders. I wondered what he was up to, but then his hand was placed on my belly. The feeling made me try to squirm away, which only made him laugh again. "We're going to be parents in a few months, Moyashi. It's time for us to stop pretending that we hate each other."

I frowned. "I don't understand. You... want the baby?" It was the only thing I could think of that made any sense. "But I thought-"

"Moyashi." There was an anger in my nickname that made me flinch. "If the rest of that sentence is 'I thought you'd make me raise our daughter alone' then we're going to have a problem."

"It's not." I couldn't help the tears that started to fall. "I thought you'd hate me for-"

The hand that was still on my shoulder tightened so painfully it made me yelp. "Don't you dare finish that sentence, Moyashi."

Once again, I struggled to free myself from his grasp. Last time it amused him, but this time it only seemed to make him angrier. My tears fell harder as his grip grew stronger, but then he suddenly let go. Finally free, I hurried out of the bed and ran for the door, not caring that I was naked.

.x.x.

I caught Allen before he made it to the door. He buried his face in my neck and continued to sob. I wanted to cry too. I wouldn't, but I wanted to.

I had thought the Moyashi understood my feelings. I thought he knew without me having to say it that I loved him. I thought our little spat the day before was him being stupid from the pregnancy hormones that were wreaking havoc on his body. Apparently, I was wrong. Very wrong. He really did think that I was just using him for sex, that his pregnancy was a reason for me to dump him and move on.

It hurt me deeply, but worst of all: it was my own damn fault. If I had just said those three stupid little words back when I first realized I felt them, then we wouldn't be having this problem. And if I didn't correct that and say them right now, I would lose my Moyashi and our daughter.

"Moyashi. I need you to shut up. Just shut up and listen and don't interrupt. Can you do that?" After a couple seconds that seemed like an eternity, I felt him nod against my chest, his messy white hair bobbing adorably. I took a deep breath; despite my resolve, expressing my feelings wasn't something that I was even remotely good at. "I know you love me. I've known that from the very beginning."

His silver eyes were huge as he looked up at me, the question he wanted to ask was written all over his face. The expression made me smile just a little. "You never would have slept with me if you didn't."

I wrapped my arms tighter around him as I sighed. It was clear he wanted to say something, but he remembered to keep his mouth shut. "I didn't need you to say the words. But I should have realized that you would. You are my opposite in so many ways, and I should have known that that was one of them. I should have known that non-verbal clues weren't enough. I should have known that you needed me to actually voice my feelings. And if I had just ...noticed that then I could have saved us so many fights and misunderstandings and whatever the hell this is. However, unlike you, I'm not good at all this emotional crap, so pay attention because I'm only going to say this once. I love you, Allen. And I have for a while now. I returned to the Order for you, let my Innocence crystallize for you. I would never leave you, especially not now that you're pregnant."

"Kanda-"

"I'm not done yet, Baka." I shoved his face into my chest, muffling whatever it was he was going to say. "I don't give a damn about the baby. Honestly, I'd rather this not be happening, but I am not the type of man who can just walk out on his family. I know you've already decided to keep the brat, so I'll be there every step of the way."

I released Allen and he immediately glared at me. "I don't want you to stay just because you feel obligated to."

"What did I just finish saying, Baka?" I flicked his forehead. "I'm staying because I love you."

His glare immediately turned into a smirk, and I knew I'd been had. He'd been pretending to be upset to make me say it again. I scowled at him, but the smirk only stayed on his face for a few seconds before it morphed into his usual bright smile. I shoved him away in annoyance. "Happy now, Moyashi?"

"I'd be happier if you'd use my real name again, but I'll take what I can get." He shrugged and walked over to the pile of his clothes on the floor.

As he bent over to pull his boxers on, I noticed something disturbing. "Oi, Moyashi, what happened to your face?"

He snorted, but continued getting dressed. "You did."

I was confused by the annoyance in his voice. "When did I hit you hard enough to bruise like that?"

"Yesterday." His annoyance hadn't faded.

"I did not hit you that hard yesterday."

He snorted again. "I know that. But my body doesn't. Supposedly, I'm nutrient deprived because of the baby, and I'm going to bruise easily until it's fixed. See?"

He angled his upper body towards me; the shoulder I'd gripped just ten minutes earlier was already starting to turn purple. He frowned at it for a moment and then he suddenly smirked at me. "You're going to have to learn to be gentle with me."

I frowned at the smug comment, the tone of his voice made me want to smack him. Then what he'd said before that hit me. "...'Supposedly'?"

I was not prepared for his next words. "It was the only theory I could get from Komui. He thinks you're abusing me."

.x.x.

In the time it took me to pick my sweater up and pull it on, Kanda was dressed and gone. I knew exactly where he was going and debated following him, but I really didn't want to see what was going to happen to Komui when Kanda tracked him down. Instead, I leisurely finished getting dressed and made my way to the cafeteria.

My mind was somewhere completely different as I walked. Kanda loved me. That felt amazing to finally hear. On the other hand, he'd apparently felt that way about me for a long time. I felt incredibly stupid for never noticing. Especially when he'd known about my feelings for him all along.

I felt better about being pregnant too, knowing that Kanda was at least going to be there. It was more than I had hoped for. The man did not seem like he would want to be responsible for a baby, and he certainly wasn't the type to be excited to be a father. That he wanted to stay with me despite all that meant a lot.

Because I was so lost in thoughts of Kanda, there were no self-conscious feelings as I ordered nearly double my usual amount of food. I didn't even notice that Jerry asked me if I was doing ok.

I was snapped out of my reverie the second I sat down with my friends, though if I had been putting conscious thought into my actions, I wouldn't have sat with them. I had things to tell them that I very much didn't want to say.

"Oh my god! What happened to your face?"

I blinked at Lenalee's outburst. It took me a second to figure out what she was talking about. I rolled my eyes in annoyance at the question, knowing full well that this wouldn't be the last time I heard it. "Kanda."

"Oh, right. Duh. That was a stupid question, wasn't it? Things must have gotten a little out of control while you were training together yesterday, right?"

I nodded as I began to eat; it was easier to let her think that it was a training accident than to explain what really happened. Because, like her brother, she'd jump to thinking he'd done it on purpose.

She let it drop, going back to the conversation everyone else was having, though I caught her eyeing my pile of food several times. I focused on eating, but I found myself drawn into the talking more than I usually would have.

Something that didn't go unnoticed when Lavi joined us a little while later.

"You're in a good mood this morning, Allen." If there was one good thing about the weight I'd been gaining, it was that the redhead had finally stopped calling me 'Bean Sprout'. "You're wearing the same clothes as yesterday, too. You got laid last night, didn't you?"

I choked on my mouthful of food. Lenalee did a spit take. The others around us had similar reactions. I glared at him. "Now is not the time to talk about that."

Lavi fell silent, but I caught the spark in Lenalee's eyes. "That wasn't a denial, Allen. Does that mean it's true? You're sleeping with someone?"

I dropped my gaze to my lap, trying to figure out how to best word what I had to say. After years of secrecy, it was going to be hard to come clean. I debated keeping my mouth shut, but Lavi already knew, and he would have no qualms about outing me to the entire cafeteria. Plus it would undoubtedly be easier to explain my pregnancy if everyone already knew that I was gay.

Lavi laughed at Lenalee's reaction. "Oh he's more than 'sleeping with someone'. From what I've heard, he's in a pretty serious relationship. With a guy."

Lenalee snorted in disbelief. "Yeah right. There's no way Allen's gay. Right, Allen?"

Once again, Lavi beat me to a response. "Oh I got that straight from him, so he better not try to deny it."

I narrowed my eyes at Lavi. "There's no point in denying it, not when you clearly can't keep a secret."

"Hey! You never said that it was a secret!"

I ignored Lavi's pout, and instead turned to Lenalee. To be honest, hers was the reaction I was most afraid of, everyone else's was unimportant in comparison. A million different emotions flickered across her face. It finally settled on hurt. "Why would you tell Lavi and not me?"

"I only told Lavi because your brother told him first." That answer only seemed to upset her more. I sighed and placed my hand on her knee. "Relax. He only knew because it came up in my exam yesterday. You would have been the first person I told if the circumstances were different."

She nodded slowly. "So, who...? No. Never mind, that's a stupid question. There's no way you'd answer it. Umm... Lavi said it's a serious relationship. Just how serious is it?"

'I'm carrying his baby.' It was the perfect opportunity, but I couldn't make myself say the words. I removed my hand from Lenalee's knee and placed it on my belly. The baby shifted as if she felt my anxiety.

All eyes were glued on me as they waited for an answer; everyone who was in hearing range of the conversation was watching me. Maybe that's why I couldn't announce my pregnancy, there were too many people around. I'd have to start with telling just Lavi and Lenalee. In the meantime, I needed to answer the question I'd been asked. "If it were allowed, we'd probably be married."

The silence that followed my words was deafening. "Can we change the subject now, please?"

Everyone immediately went back to their own conversations. I turned my attention to my food and ignored everything else until my plates were empty. But even with the huge pile of dishes I had eaten, I was still hungry.

Given that I'd basically been starving myself for the last six weeks, that wasn't particularly surprising. No, what was surprising was what I was hungry for: tempura shrimp and orange juice.

I took the first as proof that the baby was Kanda's. I'd been craving his favorite foods lately, most of which I didn't particularly care for, and being pregnant with his kid certainly explained why.

The other was just weird. I had absolutely no idea why I wanted to dip shrimp in orange juice. But I did. And it sounded absolutely delicious too.

Going to get more food was embarrassing. Not only because of the weight gaining thing, but because word of my sexual orientation had reached Jerry. The whole time he was preparing my food, he was gushing over me, going on and on about how wonderful it was that I had found love.

When I returned to our table, everyone but Lavi and Lenalee had left, and I knew the second I sat back down that they'd be using the relative privacy to bombard me with questions. So I gave them a look that would shut them up until I finished eating, and then began to dig into my food.