A/N: This is my favorite chapter of this story. ;)

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It was quiet for a bit, but that changed the next time I looked up. Lenalee looked really green and she was watching my every move. "Allen, that's disgusting."

I frowned at the piece of orange juice dipped shrimp that was halfway to my mouth. "Really? I thought it tasted pretty good."

She covered her mouth and gagged when I offered it to her. I shrugged as I ate it. Lavi laughed at the whole exchange. "Relax, Lenalee, Allen's just got weird tastes. I mean, he does like men after all..."

"Those two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other."

Lavi ignored me. "It's so weird to think that you'd rather sleep with me than with Lenalee. I think we all thought the two of you would end up together."

I snorted. "Don't flatter yourself, Lavi. I may like men, but if I had to choose between you and her, I'd choose her."

Lavi and Lenalee shared a smirk. She threw her arm around my shoulder. "Oh come on, Allen. Can't we at least tease you a little for being gay?"

"No." As I pushed her arm away, I recalled something Komui had said the afternoon before. I wondered if telling them that would make it easier to tell them about the baby. The only way to find out was to try.

I broke the silence with a sigh. "Technically I'm not gay, because... technically... I'm ... not male..."

Lenalee and Lavi shared a confused look. He spoke the question that was on both their minds; it was the one I was expecting, though it was worded a little too crassly for my liking. "We've both seen your penis, Allen. How can you not be male?"

This was the embarrassing part. "I... have... female parts too."

"So... what? Then you're a ... hermaphrodite?" I nodded at Lavi's hesitant question. He looked like I had completely blown his mind.

On the other hand, Lenalee just looked confused. "Why would you tell us this? It's so beyond personal. I would think that you'd prefer to let us think that you're gay. ...Oh."

Her eyes went wide as understanding dawned on her. I knew from that expression that she'd figured it out, but her next question confirmed it. "How far along are you?"

"Twenty two weeks." The words made me squirm a little.

The look of shock on Lenalee's face was priceless. I could tell she hadn't expected me to actually answer the question. But despite her shock, it only took her a few seconds to ask another question. "And you've known this for how long?"

I smiled gently at the offense in her voice; I knew she was really asking why I hadn't told her yet. "Since just before lunch yesterday."

Lenalee relaxed immediately, but then she was invading my personal space. I backed away as best I could without falling off the bench, but she caught me in her hug. "Has it started to kick yet?"

I nodded and she started squealing, tightening her grip on my shoulders. "Oh my god! That's so amazing!"

Me being pregnant is 'amazing'?

"What the hell are you two talking about?"

I blinked at Lavi; I had kind of forgotten he was there. I didn't know what to say to him; even with Lenalee knowing, I apparently still wasn't ready to say the words 'I'm pregnant' out loud.

But she seemed to sense that. She let go of me and leaned across the table towards Lavi. "What can women do that men can't?"

He frowned and narrowed his one green eye at her. "I feel like that's a trick question."

She kicked his shin playfully. "Biologically, moron."

Lavi frowned as he thought. "Biologically... Women can ... have babies..." His focus immediately snapped to me. "You're pregnant?!"

"Ssh! Not so loud!" I don't know whether I was thankful or upset that Lenalee hadn't just told him outright, but he knew now, so it didn't matter.

"Allen."

I smiled weakly at Lavi, my arms subconsciously wrapping around my middle. "It's true."

Lavi's expression went from stunned to mind-blown in a split second. I stared at my lap while I waited for him to collect his thoughts.

He let out a deep breath. "That's why Komui went psycho yesterday, isn't it? He thought I did it."

I nodded without looking up; I knew what his next question was going to be. "So who did do it?"

"I'm not going to answer that." I wasn't ready to tell them that I was sleeping with Kanda; that was the one thing I knew for sure that they wouldn't take well.

Lenalee placed a hand on my shoulder. "Will you at least give us context so that we don't have to worry about you?"

"What do you mean?" I looked up at her, but after seeing her concerned expression, I wished I hadn't.

"Well, for starters, is the baby's father the same guy you're dating - the one you'd marry if it was allowed?"

I narrowed my eyes at her. "That wasn't what I meant when I said that earlier. I was making a point, not saying that I actually wanted to marry him."

"Answer the question, Allen."

I sighed and dropped my gaze back to my lap. "Yes. It's his baby."

"And what are his thoughts on all this?"

I couldn't help snorting in irritation. "Like I know what the hell that guy's thinking."

"Allen?"

"Oops, sorry." I smiled at the confused look Lenalee was giving me. "He says he's going to stay with me, but I'm not sure that the reality of having a baby has actually hit him yet."

"What about you?" I turned to look at Lavi, confused by the question. He looked me over before he clarified. "Has the reality hit you yet?"

I snorted again. "You mean, have I realized that my life's over? That I'm now so responsible for the life of another that my own wants and needs mean nothing?"

The looks on their faces made me smile. "Relax guys, I'm joking." The looks didn't go away. "Seriously though, I haven't even known about her for twenty four hours yet, but I'm already madly in love with my baby. I'd do anything for her."

"So... then... You're going to keep it?" Lenalee went back to being bubbly and squealy when I nodded. "I'm going to be an aunt! ... Wait! Wait! You said 'her'. Twice. You're having a girl?"

I nodded and she began invading my personal space again. "Can I feel her?"

"No." Her face fell, and that made me sad. "I'm just not ready for that yet, Lena. Ask again in a couple days when I've had a bit more time to get used to the idea that I'm pregnant, ok?"

She nodded vigorously. Whatever she said next went unheard. My attention was drawn to the cafeteria doors as Kanda entered and approached Jerry's counter. Lenalee wrapped her arm around my shoulders as she joined me in watching Kanda order his food. "Can I please be there when you tell Kanda you're pregnant?"

I turned to stare at her, completely weirded out by that request. "Why on earth would you want to see that?"

"Because I want to see his reaction, duh."

I frowned at her. "Please explain that."

"Kanda has a pregnancy fetish." She said it like it was perfectly ordinary, like she was talking about the weather rather than a friend's sexual preferences.

My mind stopped. That explained soooo much of what happened last night. But at the same time, I had no clue what to do with the information. If it was true then I really didn't have to worry about Kanda leaving me; at least not until after I gave birth anyway. I resumed watching him, trying to figure him out.

Lavi snickered. "That's ridiculous. Kanda's probably never had a sexual thought cross his mind, let alone be into something enough to have developed a fetish."

Lenalee made a face at him. "We grew up together, Baka. I got to see Kanda in his awkward teenage phase, or what passed for an awkward phase anyway. I can't give specific examples, but he always got really weird around pregnant women; it wasn't hard to figure out that he was aroused by them."

As Kanda approached our table, he took one glance at Lenalee hanging on my shoulders and fixed her with the dirtiest look I'd ever seen. She saw it and leaned closer to whisper in my ear. "I bet if you told him you're pregnant, he'd stop giving you those awful looks all the time. He might even start being nice to you."

I sighed. "Lena. That one's aimed at you. You should probably let go of me before he decides to break his rule about not hitting women."

She gave me a confused look, but moved back to her seat. Before I could figure out how to explain it without explaining it, Kanda was setting his tray on our table.

I had no clue how to react to his presence. Should I act like nothing had changed, or should I embrace him like I wanted to? And which reaction would he want from me? I couldn't decide, so I ended up ignoring him.

He wasn't having any of that though. The first thing he did as he sat down beside me was lean over and kiss the back of my neck. I gasped at the tingles that ran down my spine. I turned to tell him off, but he seemed to know that that's what I was going to do. The second I opened my mouth, he was pressing his lips against mine. My reaction was automatic: Kanda was kissing me so I kissed him back.

We stayed that way until I had to pull away for air. I dropped my gaze to my lap as my cheeks burned red. I had just made out with Kanda in the middle of the cafeteria. It was the most mortifying method I could think of for revealing our relationship. Which was probably why he chose to do it that way.

While there were a few wolf whistles from neighboring tables, Lavi and Lenalee were simply staring at us, their mouths hanging open. It didn't look like either of them were breathing. Kanda nudged my side with his elbow. "What's with them?"

I sighed and picked at my nails, too embarrassed to look at anything other than my lap. "Well, given that I just finished telling them that I'm pregnant, I'd guess their brains exploded upon learning that you're the one who did it."

Lenalee let out a squeak at my words, but otherwise there was no reaction from either of our friends. "What the hell was with that kiss anyway, Bakanda?"

The question seemed to upset him. "I already explained this, Moyashi. Figure it out for yourself."

I thought back over our conversation that morning. "You mean that thing you said about not fighting anymore?"

A brief nod was my only answer. "Oh. Okay."

I went back to my ignored food. A growl from Kanda made me drop the piece of shrimp I was holding into my glass. "What the fuck are you doing to that shrimp, Moyashi?"

"Eating it." I snorted as I retrieved the piece and popped it into my mouth.

He frowned at me. "There's no call to be treating perfectly good shrimp like that. It's just wrong."

I shrugged and dipped my next piece in my glass. "I know it's weird, but it tastes good."

He turned away from me, and even though he hid it well, I could tell he was trying not to gag. "That better be a pregnancy thing, Moyashi."

"Oh." The last part of me that was hoping that this was all a strange dream died. There was absolutely no denying that I was pregnant anymore. "I guess-"

"Ok, we've already had this conversation; can we get back to important things?" Lenalee was apparently ready to talk again.

I smiled sweetly at her. "And what exactly would that be, Lenalee?"

She was not amused by my feigned ignorance. "You know exactly what I mean, Allen. You had sex with Kanda?"

He growled at the way she said his name, but otherwise didn't react. I smiled sheepishly at her, but she spoke before I could get any words out. She looked ready to faint from shock. "Oh god! That means that he's who you were talking about when you said you wanted to get married, doesn't it?"

Now I was the one who felt like passing out. I could feel Kanda's eyes on me, and after everything that had happened in the last ten minutes, I knew exactly what he was thinking. I really regretted phrasing it that way now. I hurried to speak before he could propose to me. "Lenalee. I told you: I was making a point. I don't actually want to get married."

"Why not, Moyashi?" Dammit. I groaned and placed my forehead on the table as Kanda continued to talk. "We are having a baby, after all. Shouldn't you want to get married?"

"Can we not talk about this right now, Yuu?"

He let it drop, but I could tell from his body language that he would be bringing it back up the second we were alone. It was strange; apparently, he really did mean what he said about not fighting.

Lenalee on the other hand was not about to drop the awkward conversation. I could practically hear her grinning at my use of Kanda's first name. "So how did this happen? How did you two get from hating each other to marriage and a baby?"

Kanda snorted. "There was never any 'hating each other'."

"You're forgetting those first few days, Bakanda." He gave me a blank look, so I explained further. "We didn't get together until after that first mission. We hated each other a lot before that."

My words snapped Lavi out of his stupor. "Wait. You mean you've been dating for three years?!"

I shrugged. "I wouldn't call what we've been doing 'dating', but yes."

Lavi raised an eyebrow at me. "What would you call it then?"

I frowned. "I don't know. But 'dating' implies things like going out to dinner together, and we can't do that stuff because we're both men."

"But didn't you just say-?"

I quickly cut Lavi off. "Yes, but I look male," for now anyway, "and if I weren't... pregnant, no one would know any different, right?"

Lavi nodded at my tone. But then Lenalee started poking at the bruise on my cheek. I scowled as I bat her hand away. "Would you knock that off?!"

She didn't. "Explain something to me, Allen... How are you ok with your boyfriend of three years hurting you like that?"

I swatted her hand away again and this time she actually stopped. "It was an accident, that's how. Can we drop this now?"

She shared a look with Lavi before she laughed at me. "Let's see, you're pregnant with Kanda's baby, and the two of you have been secretly dating for the last three years. I'm going to go with: we're never dropping this, ever."