So, this chapter was originally nearing 3,000 words, but I cut in half, so here's the first half. Same trigger warnings as last time. Enjoy.
"Hey, so I can tell you're obviously not in a good mental spot right now…can I drop you off somewhere? Just so I know you're home safe," Riker asks.
My heart skips a beat, and I immediately shake my head. "Please, I can't go home. It's the reason I'm here- I can't…"
"Shhh. Don't get all worked up, it's alright," Riker says gently. "How about you come back to my house? I've got band rehearsal with my brothers and sister, but something tells me that won't be a problem for you."
"That would be amazing," I whisper. "Thank you…"
"No problem, c'mon." He helps me up and grabs his guitar case. "I walked- it's not that far of a journey back."
"Thank you so much," I say again- still in awe. I'm surprised he's actually helping me- and even more surprised that he hasn't gone running yet. Someone who isn't disgusted by me- well, that's a first.
"It's fine, Austin. Don't worry about it."
"Why the hell are you late, and more importantly, is that Austin Moon?!"
As we near the house, a girl with honey-blonde hair and mocha brown eyes walks toward us. She's staring at me, and I begin to fidget uncomfortably. I knew I'd be recognized- it's hard not to be, but this is kinda weird.
"I was talking to him and lost track of time," Riker answers. He turns to me, sighing. "Sorry. This is my sister, Rydel. Rydel- this is Austin. I met him on my way back, and offered to let him come with me. He can just watch while we practice."
She nods, and her reaction- or lack thereof- surprises me. I expected her to be a typical fangirl, but I guess- like her brother- she isn't. It's refreshing, to be honest.
"So, you have one sister?" I ask.
He gives a slight nod. "One sister, and two brothers. They're inside. C'mon."
He leads me into the house, and I breathe in the homey scent, sighing. This house feels like a family lives here. What I mean is- there are family pictures everywhere, and the entire house gives off a familial vibe. It's a great contrast from what I've been living in for the past few years.
I follow Riker down a flight of stairs- into the basement, I assume. Two guys- I believe they're his brothers- are down there. One is playing a set of drums, and the other is tuning his guitar. They look up as soon as we enter, eyes widening as all the sound in the room ceases.
"Hey Riker," the one at the drums says. "Is that Austin-"
Riker cuts him off with a groan. "Yes, he's Austin Moon. He's here because of something going on at home- I met him in the park on the way here. He's going to watch us practice." He glances at me. "My brothers. The one with the guitar is Rocky, and the one at the drums is Ratliff."
Rocky sets his guitar down and walks over to us. "I'm gonna steal Riker for a few minutes, okay?"
I nod, and he grabs his brother by the arm, and leads him into a corner of the room. They begin to talk in hushed voices. I assume- Rocky is the brother Riker was talking about- the reason he stopped cutting.
Ratliff saunters over to me, grinning brightly. "Hey, dude. You alright? You look at little…"
"Depressed? I suggest, chuckling humorlessly. "Yeah. I'm not myself."
His gaze turns serious. "Something wrong?"
"Just…life…" I reply, sighing. I shove my hands into my pockets, secretly feeling for my blade. I run my fingertips over the edge with the blade- it's something I've been accustomed to doing when I'm in public and can't cut.
"We'll talk in a few minutes, okay? I just wanna run through a couple songs- we really don't have much to rehearse. But believe me, the four of us understand you better than you think. And you'll figure out why after we talk," Ratliff says gently, clapping me on the shoulder.
I nod wordlessly, and he steers me toward a couch on the side. "You can play guitar, right?"
"Yeah, I can," I reply. Immediately, a guitar is pushed into my hands, and a paper is shoved in my face.
"Play backup for us? Let's see how it goes with you, Riker, and Rocky playing guitar. Rydel plays piano, and I play drums."
Fear of disappointing them creeps over me, and I try to hand the guitar back, shaking my head. "It's alright, I'm not that gre-"
"Nonsense," Ratliff mutters. "You're good- and I want you to play."
In the next few minutes, the song starts, and I'm amazed at how well these guys (and girl) can sing. They all have great voices- and I'm surprised I haven't really heard of them before. I play the chords written on the paper, and shockingly- they actually fit into the song, and I'm not left feeling like a fuck up.
They sing two more songs after that. I think they're called Loud, Here Comes Forever, and I Can't Forget About You. Either way, all three are fucking amazing, and I really like the lyric flow and tune.
"Right, Austin," Ratliff speaks up, when they've finished, and joined me on the couch. "Are you cutting yourself?"
He's blunt and straightforward with it- the force of his question slams into me. I didn't expect him to cut to the chase so quickly- it's a few moments before I attempt to answer. Riker is shushing him, looking regretfully at me, and I sigh.
"Don't bother," I mumble. "I am."
I hear another sigh- I think by Rocky. He turns to me, his gaze serious. "It's okay. Riker's told you, I assume?"
"Yeah, he told me he's recovering from his cutting."
"That's good," Rydel cuts in. "We've all been there, Austin. That's how Ratliff could tell so quickly- the signs are all there. You look like you've been through hell and back- I'm surprised that your friends- not to mention fans- haven't noticed."
"Friends?" I scoff. "Right."
"What do you mean? Is that part of why you got the black eye?" Riker asks. "And don't you have those three good friends…I think one of them is Ally Dawson…not sure what the others' names are."
"No," I whisper. "They're part of the reason why I'm cutting." Tears build in my eyes, and I blink furiously, forcing them back- all while swallowing the large lump that's begun to build in my throat.
"Talk to us," Ratliff murmurs, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "We're here to listen. It may seem weird- considering you've just met us, but we care. We've all been through what you're going through- there's no way we'd judge you."
"Alright…" I sigh. "It all started like this…"
"So, ever since I flipped out, I've become the bad guy. Trish insults me, and Ally ignores me- Dez seems like he cares a bit, but yesterday, someone punched me in the face, and he watched the entire thing- then left without batting an eyebrow. It just…builds and builds…and I'm just ready to kill myself because I'm so fucking sick and tired of dealing with all the bullshit they give me- not to mention the other reasons I have to end my life."
"Forgive me for saying this," Ratliff mutters. "But your friends sound like fucking assholes."
"I don't know why they're being the way they are…" I close my eyes briefly, leaning my head back against the couch cushions. "I'm in love with Ally. And that's what makes this hurt so much more…she thinks I flipped out on Dallas, because I'm a jealous dick- but Dallas is a player, and I just don't want her to get hurt…"
"She's wrong, Austin," Rocky reassures me. "You're only trying to protect her."
"It jut hurts, and I don't know any other way to deal with it." It's my turn to roll up my sleeves, revealing my mangled arms. They're bloody and disgusting- I should be ashamed of showing these guys what I've done to myself, but I'm not.
"Oh, Austin…" Riker sighs. "You're way worse than I've gotten…"
"I don't even care anymore," I mumble. "I'll be dead soon- why should it matter how my arms look?"
"Hey," Ratliff says firmly. "Don't you dare say that. You are not killing yourself, Austin."
"What can you do about it?" I grumble bitterly, closing my eyes so I won't have to see their reactions. I'm being an asshole- but they asked me to be honest, and this is honesty.
"Be your friends. We can help you, Austin. If you'll let us, that is."
Thoughts? If you think this story is moving too fast- don't worry. I've got a lot planned for Austin- it's not gonna be an easy journey for him, I'm afraid. Anyway- I do have some things to ask/tell you about.
Ally, Trist, and Dez- are going to be assholes for a few more chapters. I'm not doing the cliche thing that Austin mentions in a previous chapter- where they find his cuts and immediately start caring. It's going to be very different, so I hope you all are prepared. Additionally- the relationship of the story is still up in the air. Right now, I'm deciding between Rydel/Austin, or Ally/Austin. Now, I know that your instinctive answer will be Auslly, but do keep in mind the circumstances of the story, before you decide. I only have certain parameters to work within, and I want this to be as real as possible.
Anyway- this is getting long, so I hope you enjoyed the chapter, stay tuned for the next part.
-Neha