There's a scene in third person, in this chapter- so watch for it. Additionally- trigger warnings- self-harm, depression, and Austin does have a panic attack, so be careful. Enjoy.
"I've gotta go- I need to finish a song for my next performance, and my guitar's back at Sonic Boom."
I rise to my feet, and turn to the door, and a hand catching my wrist stops me. I whirl around, glancing at Riker- he's the one who grabbed my wrist. "What?"
"I'm coming with you. We'll help you write the song here. Let's just go get your guitar and shit."
I look back at Riker's siblings- all three of them give me reassuring smiles, and I sigh in consent. Riker turns back to his brothers and sister. "I'll be back in a few."
He follows me up to the main floor, and all the way out of the house.
"Ally's dad owns this store, and I usually hang out in one of the practice rooms in the back, and write," I explain, as we walk into Sonic Boom.
"Um, Austin? What's with the identical clone of you?" Trish stares at us, and I can feel Ally's gaze burning into my shirt as well.
"I'm Riker," Riker says. "Austin's friend. We're here to get his guitar."
"When'd you two meet? How long ago?" Ally speaks up, her voice rising with each new question.
I lift my head and look her straight in the eye. "None of your business. Maybe, if you guys decided to treat me better, you'd be more privileged to my life." I don't mince words- I don't want this conversation continuing any longer than it should. "C'mon, Riker."
Leaving Ally and Trish speechless, I lead him into my practice room, where I grab my guitar case. A few of my jackets and other things, like CD's, iPod, and other random shit are scattered throughout the room- my parents would probably throw a fit, seeing that in my room, so I decided to keep it here.
I grab my iPod/headphones and put them in my other back pocket, before straightening and turning back to Riker.
"You got it?" Riker asks. I nod, and we walk out of the room, and back into the main store. As we enter, Trish opens her mouth to say something, but I cut her off immediately.
"Don't bother. I'm not in the mood for it right now. See you tomorrow."
"So, wait, are you guys signed to a record label or something?"
Rydel shakes her head. "We're not interested in that right now. We're a band because we love music, and it's something that unites the four of us- a way we can spend time together, doing something we all enjoy."
"That logic seems clear- in my eyes. You don't need record labels, big producers, or any of that other shit I have- to enjoy music. Not that I enjoy it anymore- but it can be enjoyed. I know that, at least." I'm trying to distract myself, so I might be rambly and whatever I say could be complete shit, but I need to cut, and withdrawal is eating away at me- leaving me horrid feeling and just plain irritated.
"Austin?" Rocky murmurs gently. "If you want to cut, go ahead."
My eyes widen. First of all- how the fuck did he know? And second- why is he telling me to hurt myself? I thought the entire point of this intervention type shit was to stop me from cutting.
Rocky lets out a sigh. "You're going through withdrawl- and you show surefire signs of it. I'm not going to make you quit cold turkey- that's in no way effective. Tried myself, didn't work out too well. For you to effectively quit, you have to want to quit. If I force it upon you, it's not helping you at all. There will be a time when you'll be willing to quit, and then, we'll be right there to help you through it. So now, go ahead and cut. There's a bathroom over there." He motions to a door off to the side.
"I'm sorry…" I mutter. "Sorry I'm so fucked up."
"You're not, Austin. Stop saying that. It's alright." Ratliff scoots closer to me, and I shake my head, trying hard to swallow past the massive lump forming in my throat. I need to be alone- I know I'm close to a panic attack. I'm definitely gonna start crying in the next few minutes, and I don't want them to see it.
"He's nearing a panic attack," Rydel mutters. "Just like mine. We need to calm him down."
"Fuck...um…" Riker thinks a second. "How do we calm you down again?!"
Rydel gives him a look, and turns back to Austin. "Rocky, Ratliff, one of you hold him down. He's going to start thrashing about, otherwise. Do it now."
Austin glances at them with wide, terrified eyes, and brings a hand to his throat, attempting to choke air into his body. He can't fucking breathe, and the light-headed feeling is looming over him, ready to consume him in darkness. He's trying to force air into his lungs, but that doesn't seem to work either- if anything- it leaves him even more breathless. Sweat beads at the top of his forehead, and the violent shivers wracking his body make him look like he's in a tank top and shorts- in the Arctic.
Ratliff wraps his arms around him, and pulls the distressed boy to his chest, rubbing his back in small circles. Rydel's comforting words are like waves rushing around Austin's ears, and it seems to have some sort of effect on him.
"Rocky, go get me a blanket. Riker, go find Advil or something, a washcloth, and water. Now," Rydel instructs her brothers, glancing back at Austin's heaving figure. The said boys rush off, and she sighs, turning back to her other brother. "That's good. Just keep him calm- he's relaxing."
Ratliff nods. "Shhh, Austin. It's okay; we're here for you. Calm down."
By the time Austin's breathing returns to normal, the blond is absolutely exhausted- his eyes are half-closed, and his words are slurred and incoherent, as he tries to choke out incessant apologies.
They fall on deaf ears, as Ratliff hushes him over and over, helping him to lie down on couch. Rocky drapes the blanket over him, and Rydel coaxes him to swallow some pills and drink some water. She then places the washcloth- dipped in water- on his forehead.
"Get some rest," she whispers. "I'll call your parents and let them know you're here."
Austin shakes his head wearily. "They're gonna be so mad at me…" His voice is shot and hoarse, lined with exhaustion, and Riker watches with regretful eyes. The poor boy has been through so much- he just had a panic attack, and he's worried about his parents' thought of him.
"No, no, relax. I'll tell them that I'm a friend from school, and we're working on a project." Rydel soothes. "Sleep. You're exhausted."
Austin gives a small whimper, before finally slumping back against the cushions and closing his eyes. "Thanks…"
Thoughts? I'm still looking for opinions on the whole Austin/Rydel vs Austin/Ally thing, so please give me some insight.
-Neha