-9-

Anna left her side only when she had to. And never by choice. So she was there with Elsa when there was the first flicker of eyelids. It had only been two days, but it had felt drawn out, like two years."Elsa, Elsa," Relief flooded into her. She had known of course that Elsa was going to recover but…tears streamed down her face and she buried her face in her sister's neck and sobbed. Elsa's hands raised for a moment, then they wrapped around her, and her fingers tangled in her hair and ran through lightly.

"Anna," Her voice was soft and gentle, and she pulls away to peer into her sisters eyes. They seem to be filled with a new light. They're bright and wide and beautiful. The way she is holding herself, even garbed in medical shit, it's obvious a weight has been taken off her shoulders that she had struggled to hold. The fingers that stroke down her face are cold and soft and Anna has to resist with all her might to kiss that soft, pretty mouth in front of her.

"Yes, what is it," And Elsa smiles wide, her teeth white and beautiful.

"It was all worth it, just to wake up and see your beautiful face." Anna's heart flutters wildly, heat rises up her throat and cheeks and she shakes her head and she burrows herself deeper until Elsa winces and pushes her away very lightly, reluctantly, keeping a grip on her arm. "It hurts," She said softly, "a bit too much to hug that hard," her lips curled and Anna stared. You're so beautiful. She ran her thumb along her face, kissed those lips then drew away when she remembered that even after all this, they couldn't be together like that out in the open, not until they were away from here.

As she trailed her fingers along her hand, along her fingers, a doctor arrived. Anna stared for a moment at the nurse that followed him, a clipboard clutched to her chest. She looked naïve and innocent, like she had just started working here…That gives me an idea. She smiled. Come her birthday night, she'd have her own surprise for Elsa. She hoped Oaken had cosplays…

FROZEN

"It doesn't bother you," Anna whispered and Elsa leaned back into her pillows and she seemed to think deeply. Her eyes slid shut momentarily and Anna shivered, and reached for her hand and squeezed. Her ice eyes turned on Anna and she laughed very softly, and she shook her head. Her fingers curled in her ginger locks and she pulled her into a kiss that was of pure affection. "…No. It doesn't bother me. Me not getting his things means a fresh start. Not having his business, not having all his money…it's all refreshing and new…like I'm finally an actual adult," She smiled sadly and shook her head. Anna grasped her hands. Elsa never should have had to live like that... "And I still have my bank account," She sighed heavily, and the agony that had been on her face long before, it left as soon as it came and Anna's heart hurt because Jesus Elsa, you don't have to act so strong. "..so I'm still a millionaire."

"We can talk about it if you want," Elsa turned her face away, shame across it.

"There's nothing to say…Anna. I'm…ha…happy, now? He isn't here anymore." She turned her winter-blue eyes on Anna's, and her teeth were clenched together, and her fingers dug into her palms. "It doesn't change the fact that you lied to me. That you broke your promise and you came to our house when I said not to." The redhead breathed, and she squeezed her eyes shut. I thought you'd forgotten. After all the shit that's happened. The trials and the death of your father and you getting shot…

"I don't know what you want me to say," Anna finally breathed out after a moment. And her eyes flickered open. Elsa turned further away. "Elsa…I wanted to see you, see what was happening to you!"

"I noticed you haven't wanted to touch me," Elsa said slowly and softly, her hands trembling. Her whole body trembled. Her voice sounded open and broken. "Do I disgust you now? Your eyes say I do."

"No! No Elsa that's not it at all! I could never think of you as disgusting, never." She pressed close, slid her chest onto Elsa's back, slid her arms around her neck. She cuddled her face into her cold neck and breathed, inhaled that pretty perfume. "I just want different things for us now. All we ever did was have sex. I want it to be so different now. I want sex, but I don't know you! Not to mention we've both been incredibly busy, me with the mums," The women who had been hurt by the monster. "You with the court and all…and it's not over yet either…"She trailed off as Elsa tightened up even more, her fists clenched tight and her brows furrowed.

"I don't know me," Elsa retorted, and her eyes were wet as she shot a piercing glare at Anna and shook her head. "I didn't have a me for so long. I was just…nothing…He made me what he wanted me to be." Why was Elsa getting mad? Anna tried to cap the situation, tried to embrace her tighter, warmer but Elsa shoved her away again. "Anna…wait please. Don't touch me," then she shook her head her hands slid onto her face despite the fact that she had just asked Anna not to hold her. "I feel so fucking gross, how are you looking at me right now, knowing he's been in me!?"

"It doesn't matter," Anna breathed and she shook her head and held Elsa's trembling hands and stared into those bright eyes. "It doesn't fucking matter, okay? You are someone, and you have been since the moment I met you…and long before," She smiled, "A beautiful and strong woman. You're gorgeous Anna, you're so fucking gorgeous and so perfect inside and out." She leaned close and she kissed her lips hard, and Elsa moaned and her legs parted for Anna as the redhead leaned her back. Anna grasped her wrists and pushed them down onto the mattress. The red flush of Elsa's cheeks made her own neck heat, and heat pooled between her thighs, white-hot.

"I love you," Anna whispered, and she leaned her head onto Elsa's. She wasn't saying enough. Wasn't saying the right things. She had never really been good at stuff like this, only ever been good at light-hearted cheering ups. She'd never considered the fact that she might one day comfort a rape victim like Elsa, who managed to pull through and who needed help. She clenched her fists around Elsa's wrists. "What I saw," She gripped Elsa's face and crushed their mouths together and god oh god she missed this so much, "doesn't change anything…"

Her words did something. She stopped touching when she looked at Elsa's face, and Elsa wasn't responding. She was lost in thoughts Anna was sure were too dark for her to comprehend. She breathed, and the pale girl beneath her shuddered and turned teary eyes on Anna. "I never meant to kill him," She whispered. And then she was silent. She opened her mouth to speak, to say he fucking deserved it that he was a scumbag but Elsa spoke first. "I gave him a peaceful end. The doctor said he died quickly. Practically painless…" Her nails shredded her palms again, and Anna grasped her hands because the wounds there were still healing. They were still wrapped with cloth, and Elsa couldn't have them open again. Tears streamed down her face, and her lips were twisted into a sour and cold smile. Her eyes were filled with misery as she turned them on Anna, and her hands tightened around Anna's. She lowered her voice then, and she narrowed her eyes. "Anna…"

The redhead struggled to keep up with her elder sister, struggled to keep up with this mess of emotions that Elsa was feeling and she wished she could understand! She kind of could, he didn't deserve to fucking die peacefully, but Elsa…Elsa had rid the world of a disgusting man! Wasn't that enough? "Elsa…" She stroked her face and Elsa kissed her this time, hard and long and desperately, her cold tongue on Anna's and her leg loose between the auburn-haired girls. Her winter girl was breaking again…the next words Elsa spoke, as she grasped Anna's face, and smiled.

"I look at you…and your pretty freckled face, and your blue eyes, and your pretty pretty red hair," Her lips curled up, and Anna shuddered and blushed at the praise as those fingers slid down. "This red hair," She tssked and ran her fingers through it, then back down her face, back onto her neck. "just like his, and those harsh judgemental eyes," Her tone was cold now, deadpan, and her fingers tightened around Anna's neck and she smiled. "…and I see him in you Anna." She laughed quietly, and Anna's own hands shot up, to grasp at Elsa's and she choked out an Elsa please and Elsa just shook her head and she tightened. Those nails dug into her skin. "Why do you judge me like that, why do you look at me like that, like I'm broken," Her words started to become spoken faster and louder those pretty blue eyes widened, and she was smiling and shit I can't breathe! "Stop looking at me Anna," And Anna disobeyed. She couldn't say anything, only could utter out harsh little incoherant gasps. What did Elsa want from her, need from her!?

"I'm not broken Anna! I'm perfectly fine, stop looking at me with those eyes!" Those fingers jerked, and Anna gasped and struggled and she grasped at those fingers and cried out and oh god she was scared so scared please Elsa stop it, and even though she wanted to so badly, she didn't stop staring into those beautiful, mad eyes. What you see is wrong, she screamed internally, sobbed softly. Why had she opened her mouth!? Why had she even brought him up, brought the court up, why didn't they just make love like always!? Forget knowing each other, Elsa didn't want that… The beautiful girl looked wild at the moment, lost to Anna, could she even hear? Her glazed over eyes saw someone different beneath her hands. A twisted version of Anna because none of what she was saying was true! Elsa was her everything, Elsa was an angel. Nothing about her was disgusting, nothing that fucking pig did could change that! Then those cold, cold hands dropped and Elsa was shaking her head and laughing softly. "Anna…"

The redhead grasped her throat and coughed, and rubbed herself and breathed, tears on her eyes because Elsa had tried to kill her. Elsa laughed and shook her head and breathed. "…" She turned her eyes on Anna who didn't know what to say, was to scared to speak because if she triggered that hysteria again how did she know she'd live through it? Her heart was slamming against her chest, and she felt dazed like she had when Elsa stopped their father, silenced him permanently, saved Anna like Anna had tried to save her. Elsa's eyes still held that dark look in them as she stared at Anna.

"Yet I still see it in your eyes…" Elsa chuckled weakly, and ran her hands down her face, her blue eyes gleaming with dismay and rage and so many other emotions. She didn't apologize and Anna was annoyed because she deserved one, but it almost seemed like Elsa had known what she was doing, that she hadn't lost herself. "I think you should leave now Anna. I think you should stay away for a while…I don't want to lose you though. What in the world would I do without you in my life!?" Her laughter was far too loud and her kiss was far to harsh and shit, Anna wanted to get away from Elsa and she hated herself for that feeling because she knew this wasn't Elsa, this was someone else…yet…she stood and rubbed her throat again and backed away towards the door.

"Will you still come to my party this weekend," and Elsa smirked and stared at her.

"My baby's turning eighteen," a shudder ran through her and she loathed herself more than anything, why why was she getting off on the delirium in Elsa's gaze, the possessive pronunciation of "my baby," and now Elsa was shaking her head. "Where are you going, don't leave me Anna," her teeth glinted as she grasped her hands and tugged her close. "I like it when there's lust in your eyes Anna. There's no disgust when there's lust."

"I don't feel dis-"

"Shush," Elsa snapped, and her fingers slid up Anna's back and Anna wanted to shoot herself because god damn it Elsa she wasn't disgusted with her! Why was she acting like this!? What thought had caused this? What did she see in me?! "You're so cute right now, are you scared of me? I'm scared of myself," she admitted, and she tugged Anna onto her. Her body was so cold, and Anna shuddered, and her skin crawled as those ice digits slid along her face. "I think maybe you look like daddy," Anna cringed, "and I think that when I killed him, maybe a part of his evil went into me because who kills their daddy," She giggled.

Anna jerked away and she shook her head and gasped, "Stop it!" She glared at the girl. "This is what this is about!? You killing him still!? He wasn't your "daddy" he was a monster!"

"No one should have died," Elsa screamed. "He shouldn't have died yet and when I killed him I freed him Anna! Don't you see," She laughed, "I helped him! Now those women don't have their revenge, they don't get to see him rot in prison! He doesn't get to get raped like we did," She smirked, "know what they do to men like that in there?"

"No Elsa! No I don't know! But I do know that he should have been in prison long ago! I think he wasn't lying about his contacts," She breathed and tried to think of what to say. She didn't understand what was fucking happening. First Elsa was fine…the guilt and self-hatred was tearing Elsa apart! She thought wildly, "Elsa, I love you and you have to realize that those women would have no peace until he was dead, like he is now! So just shut up! You did the right thing!"

"THAT DOESN'T CHANGE YOUR EYES," Elsa screamed and Anna drew away as Elsa slammed her hands into the headboard. "You think I'm disgust-"

"No I fucking don't," Anna shouted back, and Elsa looked beyond mad, "I don't at all! I think you're a goddess, you're all mine Elsa, how could I not want you," she realized she wasn't making sense at all as she spoke but it seemed to have an affect on Elsa. She slid her fingers onto Elsa, leaned into her and kissed her and pushed them together. "Elsa," She breathed hard, "Elsa I love you. Please don't think I don't. Please don't think I think you're disgusting because you're perfect." She was a broken fucking record now apparently.

Elsa cried then. And her body was racked with sobs as she slammed her fists into the bed, what was going on?! Anna tried to hold her but she sobbed and pulled away. "The way you looked at me," She shrieked, and tears were cascading down her cheeks, and she was tearing at her hands again with her sharp, sharp nails. Anna gently stopped her once again. "Fuck Anna, I keep seeing it, I keep seeing you, just standing there, not leaving like I needed you to do," and she gripped Anna now and shook her, "and not fucking helping me like I wanted you to." The redhead slumped, and she buried her fingers in her hair.

"I was scared…"

"You think I wasn't fucking scared," Elsa whispered.

"Why are you acting like this!? Anna screamed, "What's going on! Why are you doing this!?" She grabbed Elsa by the shirt, and she tried not to cry but the tears were burning her eyes. "W...why would you say that to me, why would you blame me?" She had hated herself when her phone rang. She only wanted to look for one more second, look at Elsa, make sure she was as okay as possible, then she would have fucking done it but it was too fucking late and it killed her as she watched over her unconscious lover, torn her apart!

"I just want to know why you have those eyes!"

"GOD DAMN IT," Anna screamed and she shoved Elsa away and stalked to the door. "I'm going home, I can't deal with this! I didn't look at you any way, I just looked at you with my love!"

"Anna," Elsa wailed after her, "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry don't leave!"

"You just said you wanted me to a minute ago!" Anna stared at her with blurry eyes. "Why's it all the sudden different!?" Elsa stared at her, and she hugged herself, and grasped and tugged at her own hair and seemed to be struggling to say something. "Make up your mind," She shrieked.

"I don't know what I'm feeling," Elsa whispered. Anna slumped, she was all of a sudden so tired. She wished it had never happened. Wished they could just keep fucking like they had before…she slid into bed, turned out the lights, pushed against Elsa.

"Do you hate me now," She breathed into the darkness and Elsa grasped at her and pulled her close.

"No," Her elder half-sibling choked, her breath lost, "I don't. I just see it."

Anna found her face, and kissed it hard, all over, until she found those lips, she pinned her winter girls arms up, pushed those wrists down until the girl was gasping. "You see my love Elsa, that's all there's ever been, love and desire," She purred and Elsa nuzzled into her and held her.

"You don't hate me," Elsa asked cautiously. "…After all this? After I strangled you, and screamed at you and said all those awful-" Anna grasped her hair and kissed her harder, with bruising force.

"I told you I don't hate you," She snarled softly in her ear, shoving a hand between her thighs. "Is this the only thing that'll prove it," Elsa's breath caught and Anna could hear her smile and she panted yes. Elsa needed to be touched to feel beautiful? She pushed her fingers into the pajama shorts of her cold, shivering girl. "I love you god damn it, I love you." Elsa's breath grew more harsh as she slid her fingers along her panties, felt the wetness. "We can work through…whatever you're feeling. The humiliation and the guilt and the fear and we don't need anyone else but us to do it!" Anna laughed weakly, and Elsa forced her arms up, and she pushed her hands down into Anna's pajama pants and slid them under her panties.

"I'm so sick," She whispered, "what am I feeling? What is happening to me? My head? I wanted to kill you…" Anna shuddered, her hardened nipples tingling as they grazed her pajama shirt. She breathed hard and kissed and bit into Elsa.

"You're so perfect," Anna whispered, in her ear. "I don't want to hear you say anything different," and she gasped, and her head fell back as they both pierced each other slowly, their arms touching and their breasts crushed together along with their cheeks. She could feel Elsa's heart beating.

"I love you," Elsa gasped, "that's all that's clear right now…" she pulled Anna close. "That's all that's clear," she laughed weakly and she jerked into Anna's hand, and Anna into hers, she grasped and scratched at winter girls flesh with her nails. "I want to drown in you," her lips curled, "just like before."

"Then drown in me," She whispered.

Things wouldn't change after all. Her heart clenched and she was sure. She loved Elsa…but there was no way in hell she loved Anna back. She wanted Anna for sure…she needed her…but she was confused and lost in her own emotions. She didn't love Anna, she needed Anna. Her fingers shifting into the wetness she had known so well… she wanted to know so much more!

Elsa didn't say anything when she started to cry...

What…what was happening to them!? No…what was happening to Elsa?...They'd never be the same again, would they?

AN: Onward *Gets on the plot train* Chugalugalugaluaga...choo choo

-Coughs- Review...as always...