Erin didn't know how long it took her to stop crying, only that Penelope held her the entire time, rocking them back and forth on the sofa she had somehow managed to lead them to. Looking up at the ceiling, she roughly swiped beneath her eyes with her knuckles, clearing away the remaining tears as she tried to regain control. So few people had seen her this broken, and she wondered how the younger woman would react to seeing her in this light.
"I don't know about you, but when I cry that hard, I need to drink something to make myself feel balanced once more. Would you like me to get us some water?"
She turned her face to look at Penelope, noticing the tracks of tears that had left holes in her foundation. In her sorrow, Erin hadn't even noticed that the other woman had been crying as well, and that shamed her a little. Blushing slightly, she ducked her head before trying to croak out a response. When her voice wouldn't work right away, she cleared her throat and responded, "That would be nice, yes."
Penelope nodded and untangled herself from Erin as she stood up. It didn't go unnoticed that she also grabbed the bottle of Drambuie off the coffee table before she left, and Erin's blush deepened. Sighing deeply, Erin reached out for the decorative throw pillow closest her, hugging it tightly to her chest as she waited for Penelope to return.
When she did come back, she was carrying a tray laden with treats and a pitcher of water, along with glasses and plates. "I figure you haven't had breakfast yet, either."
"You don't have to take care of me. I'm a grown woman."
"I know that, but you still need someone to look out for you." Penelope sat delicately next to her, reaching out to pat her knee tenderly. "Office gossip spreads quickly, even when some people try to quash the rumors. So, I know what Alex said about you, to you, yesterday. And I know the truth behind the words, since I got curious, and looked up what information was available. Maddie was a beautiful child."
"She was," Erin murmured, thinking back to her first child. Shuddering a little, she reached out and poured herself a glass of water, needing to hold on to something as she thought about how much to tell Penelope. "Were you shocked by finding out that David and I carried on an affair back in the day?"
Penelope poured her own glass before grabbing a cookie and settling back in her seat. "A little, yes. But then again, I think about how in love you and he are now, and I know that you were meant to be together. I take it that this occurred before you married your ex-husband?"
Erin nodded as she took another sip of water. "Yes, and after Carolyn, too. We both knew that we were playing with fire, but the burn was so delicious, at the same time. Oh, but he was so dashing back then. So charming, and it was easy to lose my heart to him." An easy smile spread across her lips as the happy memories flooded to the forefront of her mind.
"Did he woo you?" Penelope asked before nibbling on her cookie, her eyes focused intently on Erin.
"Of course. What started over late nights in the office led to working suppers and then to plays and concerts. It was natural, what happened between us, and I fell head over heels in love with him. And as nature took its course, I ended up pregnant. We both knew that it might happen, since we weren't using protection, but I was still surprised that it happened as easily as it did."
Her eyes grew misty once more, as she thought about her first pregnancy and how smooth it was. "So, if Maddie had survived, how old would she have been?"
"The same age as Doctor Reid, and Ethan."
"Ethan?"
Erin gasped a little, bringing her glass to her lips in order to create a pause in the conversation. Alex would kill her for revealing something so personal, even though she hadn't meant to do so. It had been a slip of the tongue, sure, but it was one that would not go unnoticed by Penelope. "A colleague of ours had a child around the same time as David and myself. Like me, she lost her child tragically early."
"Oh, my god, Erin. I never knew…"
"The death of a child is something that I know many people don't like to advertise, at least, not women of my generation. It's different with your generation and younger. And maybe that's better, since we don't carry that hurt around with us everywhere. But a part of me never wanted to share this with anyone other than David. No one else needed to know what happened."
"Would you mind telling me what happened? Blake never said anything more than you killed your child. And I think we both know that's not true – there's no way you'd be with Dave now if it were."
Erin blinked slowly as she shrugged. "I might be ready, in time, to tell you more of what happened to my Maddie, but not just yet? There are, I, oh, do not take this the wrong way. I do not trust you enough yet to tell you everything. And I know that's hurtful to you, and I'm sorry. But there are sorrows in my heart that just seem to keep from easing."
Penelope nodded, a tender smile on her lips as she reached out to pat her leg softly. "I completely understand, Erin. And I do hope that you will feel comfortable enough to let me in one day. I really would like to be friends with you. Dave didn't really have to nudge me all that hard to come over here today."
Erin laughed lowly as she nodded. "That does set my heart at ease, Penny." The nickname seemed to fall so easily from her lips, and she darted her eyes over to look at Penelope, seeing that her smile had widened a little. "Do, do you want to play a game? When I was recovering, David and I found that that was the best way to keep my concentration."
"All right, that sounds kinda nice. Do you have a cribbage board?"
Erin wrinkled her nose a little, listening to Penelope giggle. "Math was not what I was thinking about when I suggested a game. I was thinking something more along the lines of Paperback."
Penelope looked intrigued as she nodded. "I've never heard of that. How do you play?"
"Have you ever played Dominion?" Penelope shook her head. "Oh, then this is going to be fun! Bring the tray with you into the dining room, we're going to need a larger table for this." Erin rose to her feet and went over to the bookcase, finding the box she wanted with ease. "And try not to be too sore of a loser, dear. David has yet to win against me, as well."
She laughed at the shocked look on Penelope's face, and together, they made their way into the dining room. This was going to be a much more pleasant way to spend her afternoon, and she was grateful that her lover had known her well enough to send her a friend to spend her day with.