"Well, this pregnancy doesn't seem to be going smoothly so far. She's been really sick. Is she okay?" Josh asks his Mom as we all take our seats.

"Pshhh. Every pregnancy is different. Our Donna is strong. This wee one may challenge her a little, but she'll be fine. We just need to help her keep a little food down, and rest as much as she needs."

Mom smiles at me. I'm so glad she's being positive with Josh. He's prone to imagining the worst. All this vomiting and fatigue isn't pleasant, but otherwise I feel fine. This may not be as easy as I thought, but I can do it.

Josh still looks unsure, but his Mom knows how to distract him. She starts to tell me what is about to happen.

"Donna, dear, Passover is the anniversary of our nation's miraculous exodus from Egyptian slavery more than 3,000 years ago. The Seder is a feast that includes reading, drinking wine, telling stories, eating special foods, singing, and other traditions. We celebrate after nightfall on the second night of Passover because we live outside of Israel. We follow along in a book called a Haggadah. Yours is in English. There are 15 steps. But you don't have to do all of them, if you start to feel sick, we can stop for a while, or if you just need to be done, Josh and I can finish on our own. This is a celebration. It's meant to be fun."

"I want to try to keep up." I tell her with a smile.

"Well I don't want you to drink four glasses of wine!" Josh says emphatically.

Mom and I both look at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Joshua." She says pointedly and he has the good grace to look sheepish. God, I love his mother so much. Of course I wasn't going to drink four glasses of wine. Even if I could keep it down it would be bad for the baby. It's actually a really bad idea for him to drink four glasses of wine. In fact, maybe I should remind him that starting tomorrow- he's giving up alcohol too. He said he wouldn't drink since I couldn't.

"You could have a little sip of each glass, if you like, dear. But if your stomach isn't feeling very good, its fine if you only have the soup. I made it special just for you. I was starting to hope that maybe all this sickness was a blessing." Mom pats my hand and smiles at us.

"That sounds wonderful."

Josh and Mom pick up a glass of wine, and I follow suit. Josh recites the Kiddush, proclaiming the holiness of the holiday. Josh and Mom each take a long drink, but I only take a little sip.

I really enjoy listening to Josh and Mom read back and forth through the book. They explain each step of the ceremony to me. I really love it when Josh tells me about things I don't know. I just get a warm fuzzy feeling. He really is a good teacher. I can't wait to watch him teaching things to our children.

The food looks very interesting. Next year I'm going to try everything but for now, I'm too worried about getting sick. Mom's soup is fabulous, even better than the deli, so I'll just stick with that.

When they are done with the main part of dinner, Josh explains the Berach. Basically a grace at the end of the meal. Then Josh says, "Now we fill the cup of Elijah."

"Did I ever tell you about when Joshua was five?" Mom begins. Josh groans and I perk up. This sounds promising.

"No. Please do."

"Well, we were celebrating Passover at Noah's parent's. I guess he was actually 4 and a half. Joanie was so happy, because Josh was finally able to handle the youngest child parts. He did all the readings just fine. Until we got to this point in the ceremony."

"What happened?"

"He went to the door, to let Elijah in. When he got back to the table, he said no one was there."

Noah's father replied, "He was here, see Joshua, there is less wine in the glass."

Joshua looked his grandfather in the eye and said "Zayde! You drank that wine! There was no one at the door."

"My Joshua. So smart. And even when he was so little, he couldn't stand the thought of someone trying to fool him."

"What did your grandfather do?" I ask Josh.

"He took me on his lap and explained it was just a ritual, meant to be fun, because we had so much to celebrate. We overcame, we survived, we believe in a better future. And he promised to always explain things to me, that he'd never try to trick me again."

"He loved you very much." Mom says cupping Josh's cheek.

"I loved him too."

"What was his name?"

"Jacob."

"That's a nice name." Josh and I haven't talked about this yet, but I'm already starting a mental list. I think we'll have to put that one on the boy's side. Right next to Noah and Leo.

"What's next?" I don't want to rush them along, but I am getting kind of tired.

"um, singing." Josh says quietly. This makes me smile. I love to listen to Josh sing. He only does it when he's in a really good mood. I can't help but be happy when he sings.

Once he and Mom are done singing, they recite the Hallel over the last cup of wine. I take a very tiny sip. Then they say-

"Leshanah haba'ah b'Yerushalayim—Next year in Jerusalem."

"That was really lovely." It really was. Even though I couldn't fully participate I really enjoyed this. I can imagine Josh doing this with a few children around him. It gives me a very pleasant feeling.

"I have something for you." Mom says.

"I'm not really a child anymore, Mom I don't need a gift for the Afikoman."

"Well, that's good, then, because this isn't for you." Mom says cheekily. She walks into her room and comes back with a blanket, which she hands to me. It's cream colored and very soft.

"Josh's Bubbe knit that. We don't have many keepsakes from when Josh was a baby. But I wanted you to have it."

"That's not for the baby! Is it?" Josh looks horrified. What the hell is wrong with him?

"Of course not darling." Mom placates him, patting his cheek. I'm really confused.

"It's for Donna. She might like a nice blanket while she's feeling under the weather."

"Okay. Good."

I look back and forth between them. I'm clearly missing something, but it doesn't look like either of them is going to tell me.

I feel about five, when Josh is tucking me in for the night at 9:30, but I just can't keep my eyes open any longer.

"I want my new blanket."

I'll send Mom in with it in a minute. I'm sure she wants to give you a good night kiss too.

"What's the deal with the blanket? I know I'm missing something. I don't like to be fooled either, you know."

"Jewish people are a little superstitious about these things. We don't usually bring any baby things into the house until after the baby is born. You know we don't want to tempt the wrath of the thing high atop the place."

"Oh."

"Wait! Josh, are you saying I can't buy ANYTHING for the baby until after the baby is here?"

"No, I'm not saying that. I was just shocked that my Mother would bring a baby gift, especially for a baby she didn't even know about yet."

The thought occurs to me that maybe his Mom has been concerned about being around by the time we had kids. But I don't want to voice that thought out loud. No point in tempting the wrath...

"Okay." I say sleepily. If he's going to send Mom in he'd better hurry up and do it.

Josh leans down and gives me a very long goodnight kiss, and suddenly I don't feel five anymore. If only I weren't so damn tired I'd prove it to him.