Short chapter- same deal as before. The next chapter is a freakin' monster, and this is just setting you guys up for that. Enjoy- trigger warning- depression, suicidal thoughts.

Two more days pass- uneventful and tear-filled. We called the school- Ratliff has an excused week off- as do I. I'm recovering steadily- my fever is around 100, mostly low-grade, and I feel a lot better than I have. The incessant headache is the only thing bothering me- my head is constantly pounding, leaving me nauseous and horrid-feeling.

Oh, yeah. I went to talk to Jimmy yesterday. To say he wasn't pleased was a huge understatement. I got yelled at and cursed at, but it did end in him giving me a month off to 'get my shit together', so I guess that's a plus. I've more time for song writing which I'm gonna get Rocky and Riker to help me with. They've written most of the songs for their band, and the lyrics are pretty fucking good.

"My head hurts…" I whine, shoving my face into the crevice between Riker's torso and arm.

He glances at me, chuckling. "I think you've reiterated that twenty times in the last five minutes."

"Fuck you," I grumble, maneuvering myself to sit next to him, without moving my head. "Fucking hurts."

"Aw, poor Austin," he teases. "C'mere." He pulls me onto his lap, and I sigh in content, burying my face into his shoulder. I really like cuddling with Riker- specifically this position- it's comfortable, and makes me feel protected and safe.

"Does it seriously hurt?" He asks, concern flooding his gaze. I pull away slightly, nodding shakily, and he places his cool palm on my forehead. "You still have a fever, sicko."

"Wonderful. I feel like shit," I groan, pushing my face into his neck. "You're cool…"

"Ratliff! Grab me the thermometer?" Riker calls softly, as not to irritate my migraine. Thudding footsteps sound- pure torture to my head, but Ratliff is back in seconds, pressing a thermometer into Riker's hand, and looking at me worriedly.

"You okay, Aus?" I turn to face Ratliff, nodding slightly.

"M'fine. Achy and my head really hurts, but okay."

Riker scowls. "Don't pay any attention to him, Ratliff- that's an understatement by a longshot. He's still feverish, and it's obvious that he feels like shit."

"Shut up for a second, lemme take your temperature," he mutters to me, shoving the thermometer into my mouth before I can protest. I press my lips together tightly and glare at him, but all he does is grin and press his lips to my forehead.

When it beeps, he pulls it out and sighs. "101.1. Dammit all…"

"Ugh…I fucking hate being sick…" I moan, shoving my face back into Riker's neck. "You feel so cool, I'm so fucking hot…"

"Hey now, Mr. Ego," Ratliff teases.

I turn and glare at him. "You know what I meant, asshole."

"Can it, you know I love you." Ratliff grins at me.

"What, is a party going on here? Why didn't anyone inform me?" Rydel strolls up to us, her eyes wide with curiously. "God, Austin, you look awful."

"Yeah, thanks. Just love hearing that," I say sarcastically.

"Anyway- I'm here because Rocky told me to tell you that our meeting with your parents is on Friday. We have to be prepared- they could jump over the fence and try to fight for you."

A cold sweat washes over me, and I can feel myself go rigid with shock. "We have to meet with them…?"

Rydel nods apologetically. "Judge wants that. It's either that- or a full-blown trial." She shudders. "Trials are absolutely miserable."

"I don't wanna go back to them," I whisper. "Please…I can't…"

"No, Aus, shhh. Relax, you aren't going back. We're not letting you go back to them- Rocky promised to fight for you- and that he will. We're keeping you, no matter what."

"Why the fuck do I still have a fever?"

Austin groans, leaning his head on my shoulder. His fever still hasn't broken, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't starting to worry me.

"Maybe it's a good thing," Rocky murmurs. When we all give him weird looks, he puts his hands up in surrender. "I didn't mean it like that! In a few hours, we'll have to go to the courthouse to meet Austin's parents. If he's ill- we can use that as an example of their "wonderful" parenting- exhausting him to the point of sickness."

"That's brilliant, Rocky," I whisper. "We're not gonna lose him."

"I can't go back there," Austin whispers hollowly. "It hurt so much…they kept on yelling at me, and didn't stop, even when it triggered me into a panic attack- they just left me on the floor, trying to breathe and not pass out…"

"Oh, god…" Rydel mutters. "Panic attacks are the most terrifying things in the world…you can't breathe, and you feel like you're gonna die…Austin…I'm so glad we're getting you out of there, you have no idea."

Austin sighs. "I just…no one saw my pain, and that's why I was so surprised that Riker picked up on it, by just looking at me. No one has ever done that for me. I don't think I someone ever asked if I was okay, and meant it, before you guys, and that just left me empty- ripped a hole in my heart, and I just…I feel so broken, like nothing's gonna get better, because one day, you guys will conclude that I'm too much of a broken mess- and you don't wanna spend your lives trying to hold me together- I love you guys so much, but you don't deserve to be stuck with the useless blob of fat I am."

"Austin," Rocky says firmly. "You are not useless, nor are you a blob of fat. We are not going to leave you. We love you too much to let you go. I know you're broken- these thoughts won't go away overnight- but you need to start thinking better of yourself, yeah?"

"How can I think better of myself when everyone calls me a fucked up, worthless, hopeless disappointment with every goddamn step I take?"

Thoughts? I'll try to post the next chapter tonight, butI have a shitload of homework to do, so depending on how many reviews I get, I'll decide whether or not to post it.

-Neha