My Way is Clear

by Simply Ginger

Nick meets a paramedic after getting injured at a crime scene. In an AU, this is their story. This is not a slash and all the characters from CSI show up eventually.

12. It'll End in Tears

Chapter 12 – It'll End in Tears

This is another example of how I get to make my own rules in fiction. I know the songs that are in parts of this story weren't released back then according to the CSI season episode guide, but I just made them released.

Sitting in Anna's hospital room, waiting on her to wake up from her surgery, the room was quiet except for the occasional beeps on the monitors next to her bed or her IV pump chirping when it administered another dose of pain medication.

After half an hour of silence, I got tired of hearing the same chirp every few minutes and hooked Anna's iPod up to the docking station. I knew after Anna woke up from the anesthesia, she'd want her iPod. I had Catherine go back to my apartment to get it out of my truck as well as some clothes for me and a few items I knew Anna would need. Sara brought my truck and Anna's iPod and told me Catherine would be by later with a change of clothes for me after Ecklie went through them to make sure the lab didn't need to process everything first. Anna had her iPod on a lot and I knew how much she loved music and hearing it playing in the background was as comforting to her as it was to me. I wasn't paying much attention to the songs that were playing, but one that came on caught my attention during another lull in the room. I had heard Anna singing it not too long ago. I closed my eyes as I remembered we heard this song together on our first date heading into Las Vegas from Summerlin. As she was sleeping in the bed next to me, I picked up one of her hands and kissed the top of it as I listened to the words of the song.

"And God, I hope it's not too late. It's not too late, 'cause you are not alone and I am always there with you and we'll get lost together till the light comes pouring through."

I kept my eyes closed as the rest of the song played softly in the background as I remembered the first date we had and Anna singing along with that song on the way back from Summerlin.

"Hey Nicky."

I turned around in my chair and saw Catherine behind me, "Hey." She came in Anna's room and set a bag on the floor behind the chair I was sitting in before she put her arms around my shoulders as I kept my vigil next to Anna.

"Has Anna woken up yet?"

I shook my head, "No." Letting out a heavy sigh, I continued to watch Anna sleep. "She's still out from the surgery. Did you bring my clothes?"

Catherine motioned to the bag on the floor, "I brought what you told me. I also found Anna's iPod in your truck like you said and sent it back with Sara when she dropped off your truck. Anna's docking station was bagged and is now in evidence, so I had Sara go by my house and told her to get Lindsey's. I see Sara dropped it off for me."

"She did about twenty minutes ago. You just missed her and thanks for letting us use Lindsey's docking station. Anna's always got that thing on whenever she's at home and I figured she'd appreciate it being brought up here." I stretched in the chair, trying to alleviate the cramps that were taking over the muscles in my back.

Catherine got another chair and sat down beside me, "Why don't you go to the hotel room? Change and take a shower. I'll stay here with Anna and if anything happens, I'll call you." Catherine looked at me from where she was sitting as I started to debate mentally whether or not to go, "Go, Nick. You're less than a block away. You'll be here in no time if need be. I'll stay here. I won't leave her alone. I promise."

"Cath, I don't have a phone."

She reached in her pocket, "Here, take my phone. Grissom said he'd be by later with a new phone for you. I know you haven't had a chance to get a new one after you broke yours and Anna's is still in evidence. I could only talk Ecklie out of giving me the memory card with the phone numbers on it. I promise you I'll call you if anything happens."

"The surgeon told me when Anna was brought in the ICU room earlier that she probably wouldn't wake up for another couple hours. Her surgery was pretty extensive." I checked my watch to see if I had enough time, "Call me if anything happens, no matter how insignificant it is." I took Catherine's phone and got up from the chair and told her thanks and that I'd be back within an hour.

I left the hospital and went to the hotel room Catherine got for me. I threw the bag on the bed and stepped in the shower after leaving the phone on the counter in the bathroom so I'd be able to hear it if Catherine tried to call me. I was in the shower letting the hot water run down my body for about thirty minutes, trying to relax the cramping muscles in my back when I heard the phone ring. I turned the water off and found a towel and wrapped it around me as I hurried to get the phone. "Cath? What's wrong?"

"We've got a little problem. Anna is awake."

"Damn." I got another towel off the rack next to the bathtub and started to dry off my hands and hair. "What's wrong?" I threw the towel down on the floor in frustration when Catherine remained silent, "Cath? What's wrong with Anna?"

"She's upset. She keeps saying, well, typing really, that she wants you. She tried to talk, but can't because of the trach tube. She won't calm down and your friend Cathy is afraid she's about to pop a stitch. She's in with Anna now trying to calm her down but she won't listen to anyone. She wants you."

"Typing?" I started towards the bed where I threw the bag Catherine got me. I unzipped it and dumped it over as I started going through the pile of clothes looking for underclothes.

"Greg's here with me. He stopped by to check on Anna and take her statement if she was awake. Anna woke up and saw us here and she was really upset when she didn't see you here in the room with her and she took out her own trach tube but can't talk and kept making typing motions with her left hand, so Greg gave her his BlackBerry. The first thing she typed out was 'Where's Nicky?' Greg told her that you were fine and that you had just left to go change and he and I needed to ask her some questions and she typed out 'I don't care. I want him here now.' Greg tried to tell her that you were okay and reason with her but she kept tapping the 'I don't care' part of her message on the screen with her fingernails. I told her I'd call you. Nurses had to come in and give her a dose of medication to calm her down. Her rates spiked."

"They told me it'd be another couple hours before the anesthesia wore off enough for her to wake up. Tell her I'll be there in 10 minutes." I threw the phone down on the bed and I tossed the towel in the corner of the room as I started to put on a pair of pants I dug out from the pile. I grabbed the first shirt I saw and threw it over my shoulder and grabbing Catherine's phone and my keys in one hand, I grabbed my shoes and socks in the other and walked barefoot and bare-chested towards the elevator. I pushed the button and put the shirt on while I was waiting on the doors to open. I had time to put both of my socks and one shoe on before the doors opened. I got the other shoe on in the elevator and impatiently waited on the doors to open on the ground floor so I could make a mad dash for the hospital and check on Anna.

The elevators at the hospital were equally as slow. When the doors finally opened on Anna's floor, I broke out in a sprint and headed towards Anna's room. I made the final turn and the security officer saw me coming and buzzed me in to the ICU. As the doors opened, I saw Catherine outside of Anna's room with Greg standing behind her. "What happened?" I shoved Greg causing him to lose his balance on a chair behind him, "Why'd you upset her like that?"

"Stop. Both of you." Catherine stood between the two of us. "Enough." I tried to shove Greg again, but with Catherine in the way, I couldn't reach, "Back off, Nick."

"If you hurt her…" I glared at Greg. "So help me, Greg. If you hurt her…"

Catherine shoved me back a step and pushed Greg back until he was seated in one of the chairs outside Anna's room. "Anna woke up in a daze from the surgery and didn't see you and she panicked. Nick, she was probably thinking something happened to you when she woke up and you weren't here and we were here to give her bad news. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't listen. She kept tapping the screen with her fingernails pointing to the message and then she started crying. She also pulled the trach tube out on her own before she threw Greg's phone at him. Cathy and Anna's surgeon are in with her now making sure everything is okay. You got a stubborn girlfriend, Nicky."

Dr. Hoyt and Cathy came out a little bit later and told us we could go in, but if we upset Anna again, we'd all be thrown out of the hospital. I went into her room with Catherine and Greg following me. As soon as they saw she was okay, they stayed out in the hallway for me to have some private time with her before they started the questioning. "Anna?" I sat down on the bed in Anna's line of sight. She saw me and started crying, "I'm here. I haven't left your side since you got out of surgery. The doctors told me you'd be out for another couple of hours, so I left to go to the room Catherine got me at the Tangiers. I needed to change my clothes and shower. I thought I had enough time, but you woke up too quickly. You're just defying everyone." Anna tried to say something but couldn't. She made a motion with her left hand like she was typing. "Hold on." I left the room and stepped outside in the hall where Catherine and Greg were. Greg saw me come out of Anna's room and stepped back out of my reach. "I'm not gonna try to hit you again. Just give me your phone, please? Anna's trying to tell me something." He handed me his phone and I took it to Anna and she took it and started typing. She typed out a message with her left hand and then turned the phone around so I could see.

'I was worried about you. You weren't here when I woke up. I didn't know what happened. I've been in this line of work long enough to know that when two people are in the room after something major happens, it's usually bad news. I couldn't remember if you got hurt or not. My memory is a bit fuzzy in places.'

"I know and I'm sorry. I'm not hurt, I promise you. I'm just fine and I'm so sorry for scaring you like that." I picked Anna's hand up and held it in both of my hands, "I went to go change. I didn't expect you to be awake so soon. I don't think anyone expected you to be awake so soon."

She freed her hand from mine and typed again and when she was finished, I took the phone from her so I could read what she wrote, 'How long have I been here?'

"You've been here about a day. Your surgery was early in the morning. You just now woke up."

She nodded and picked Greg's phone up again, 'What'd they do to me? What was wrong? I hurt all over. I feel like I got sawed in half and stitched back together by Frankenstein's doctor after an alcoholic binge.'

"Hours after surgery and you're still you. You had a gunshot wound to your right shoulder and to your abdomen. You were shot twice."

Anna made a face that was a cross between a grimace and looking like she was about to cry, but started typing one handed again. She turned the phone around so I could see it after she was done, 'That explains the pain. Lower abdomen is hurting pretty badly right now. Almost like someone's stabbing me. Are you okay? I woke up from the surgery and you weren't here and I saw C and G here and was upset that they were here to tell me something happened to you. I've seen this before. They send in someone else to ask you questions before dropping the bad news on you. I just knew something had happened to you when they were here and you weren't then when they refused to answer my questions about you. No one would explain anything to me.'

"I'm fine. I promise you. I'm just fine. The surgeon came out and talked to me a couple hours ago and said that you'd be out for a few hours. I left to go take a shower and Cath called me and said you woke up. I promise you, I'm fine. Some bumps and bruises, but I'm fine." I leaned in to kiss her cheek, "I'm just fine now that you're awake. I promise." Anna didn't pick the phone up right away. She just looked at me, "What is it?" She didn't make a move and continued to look at me, "Anna, I know you're trying to tell me something, but I can't figure out what it is. Help me?"

Anna shook her head and picked up the phone again and started typing. She turned the phone around so I could read the message. 'I'm sorry.'

"Sorry?" I picked the phone back up again to re-read her message to make sure I didn't miss something. "Sorry for what? I should be the one apologizing to you for this happening to you. You have nothing to apologize for." I looked at Anna as tears fell out of her eyes and onto the pillow behind her. I put my hand on her cheek and used my thumb to wipe the tears away. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I am the one that needs to apologize to you repeatedly. If I hadn't gotten cable hooked up at my apartment, none of this would have happened."

Anna tried to speak again, but her voice was hoarse. She sighed and picked up the phone and started typing again. When she finally turned the phone around after typing out her message one handed, I saw what she had written. 'I'm sorry because I took so long to get to you. I didn't think I had the strength to leave but I knew if I didn't, he'd kill you. I didn't know if I could get up but you are the only person that matters to me and you needed me.'

She handed the phone to me to read, "Anna." I looked at the message again and back at Anna. "I owe you my life for what you did. You are the most important part of my life and I hope you know that. You remember what you told me at the hospital when I was injured?" Anna nodded. "I told you then you'd never lose me." I kissed her gently, "And I mean that. You never will."

I looked at her again as she motioned for me to give her the phone back so she could type something else. 'I was in the room just waiting to die but praying I wouldn't. I didn't want to leave you. I told you before, I can't lose you. I don't know what I'd do without you. '

"Anna, oh…" Now it was my turn to cry. I looked down at the phone again, "You weren't the only one who was waiting to die. I was waiting for that, too. I just wanted to make sure you were okay first but then you saved me and I owe you my life." Anna brought her hand up to my cheek and brushed the tears away just like I did to her. "I can't lose you, either. I wouldn't know how to live my life without you in it."

"Nick? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, Cath. Come on in." I turned around and saw Greg and Catherine in the doorway. I looked at Anna again, "They need to take your statement."

She picked the phone back up and typed out her message. 'I know.' She looked at the two of them and typed out another message before turning the phone around for me to read it. 'Stay with me. Don't leave.'

"I won't. I'll be here the whole time." I wiped the tears in my eyes with the back of my hand. "They just need to get your statement. You're not in any trouble, but they just need to get your side of things on record."

Anna picked the phone up again and tapped the screen with her fingernails. She was pointing to the 'I know' message again. I stayed where I was and told Anna I'd read the messages out loud since her voice still was hoarse from the trach tube from her surgery. Catherine got out the scene report and started to fill it out as Greg stared at Anna. She picked up his phone and started typing. She turned it around so I could read it. I started laughing, "Greg, she wants you to know that when she gets out of here, we're all going back to that karaoke bar and you and her can do that duet that you never did do the last time we went."

Greg started to laugh, "Any song you want. Except 'Bleeding Love.' I'll leave that one alone so Nick won't kick me in the shins again. I'm sure he still wants my head on a plate for 'MMMBop' from that night."

Anna winced as I looked at her to see her response to Greg, "Need me to get the nurse? Adjust your pain meds?" I started to get off the bed but she stopped me. She picked up the phone again and started typing. She turned the phone around so I could read it. 'No, just hurts to laugh. That's what I was trying not to do, but the thought of Greg singing 'Bleeding Love' with me and then the thought of you kicking him under the table again or just kicking his ass on stage after we were done was just too funny.' I read the message to Greg.

"Any song you want, even 'Bleeding Love' as long as you'll keep Nick from kicking me again. We'll do it."

Anna smiled at him as Catherine got ready to start her questions, "Alright, Anna. Just some basic questions first, then we'll get into the narrative and I have to record this." Catherine stopped to look at Anna who nodded. Catherine brought out a digital recorder and pushed the button to record the conversation and set it on the bedside table. "This is CSI Catherine Willows interviewing Anna Gigandet about the shooting death of Nigel Crane and the events of that night. With me are CSI Greg Sanders and CSI Nick Stokes. Ms. Gigandet suffered trauma during the events in question that required surgery and is unable to speak at present. CSI Stokes will be reading responses Ms. Gigandet types out using CSI Sanders's BlackBerry. Do you know the man who shot you and attacked Nick?"

Anna shook her head and winced again. She picked up the phone and typed her answer out then handed it to me, 'No. I don't know who he is. When did I meet him? Did I have a fire run or an ambulance call at his house?'

"No. He was the one who installed the cable at Nick's apartment. Nick said you were sick that day and went to bed." She stopped to look at Anna who nodded. "Let it be known for the record, Anna indicated yes to my question about her being sick that day. That may be why you don't remember him." Catherine wrote down something else on the form, "I know this is going to be painful for you to remember and if you don't remember a lot, that's fine. This isn't an inquest and you're not in trouble. We just need your side of the story."

Anna picked Greg's BlackBerry up and tapped the screen with her fingernails again. She handed the phone so I could see what she was pointing at. "She's pointing to the 'I know' message from earlier."

"Okay. First, just tell me what you remember before the shooting. We'll go into details later on." Catherine put on her reading glasses and started to make notes in the case file as she waited on Anna to type out her response.

Anna took the phone back from me and typed out a message to answer Catherine's question. After typing it out one handed, she finally got done and gave the phone to me to read to Catherine. 'Nick and I had gotten home from going out to eat. We had planned on leaving the restaurant and going straight to the movies, but the waitress spilled tea on me by accident and I needed to change before we left. I remember getting to Nick's house and I had to change my clothes. I had thrown my shirt into the washer and started a load of clothes. Then I went to our room to change.'

"Good. Do you remember what time it was that you got home?"

'It was about 6:15 I think. The movie started at seven and Nick wanted to make sure we had enough time to make it.''

"How long were you in the room before Nigel came out and where was he?"

Anna grimaced again but picked up the phone to type, 'I don't remember. I came in and got the laundry basket out of the room first and started a load of clothes and threw my soaked shirt in as well. I was out there a minute or two maybe. I don't remember exactly. I had gotten another shirt out of the closet to change into and had thrown that shirt on the bed. I was in our room getting ready to put the shirt on when someone came out of the bathroom as I was unlacing the straps on the sandals I had on. He said something to me which startled me, causing me to turn around. I saw he had the gun pointed at me and I screamed then he shot me in the shoulder and I fell over on the floor. He just stared at me as I was on the floor then Nick came in.'

"Do you remember what he said to you?"

Anna closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes, she picked up the phone and typed out her response. 'He said something like 'I won' I think to me first and then he laughed. When he did that, it caused me to turn around and then he said something to me that sounded like 'bros before hos' and then he said he was going to make me pay for what I had done to Nick.'

"Do you know where he was in relation to you when you came in the bedroom?"

Anna picked the phone up and started typing, 'I was in the closet getting a shirt out and then I was on my side of the bed changing my shoes. He came at me from the bathroom after I threw the shirt on the bed and started to unstrap my sandals. He attacked me right before I had a chance to change into the dry shirt. He shoved me back and I stumbled but stayed standing. He said the bros line then he shot me and I fell over on the floor, landing on my side. He bent down and said he was going to make me pay for what I had done to Nicky.'

Catherine resumed writing on the report. "Did he ever tell you what you did to Nick?" Anna shook her head. "On record, Anna indicated she did not know what Nigel Crane meant by my question. Alright. About how long was it before Nigel left the room when Mr. Pearson came through the ceiling?"

Anna looked at me, confused by the question. She picked up the phone. 'Who?'

I took the phone from her so I could read her message. "He's the psychic. He's the, um…he was the dead body Nigel fell on top of in the living room."

Anna closed her eyes and sighed. I knew she remembered now who Catherine meant. I handed her the phone when she opened her eyes and she typed out what she wanted me to read to Catherine. 'I didn't even know his name. I don't know how long it was for sure. I was trying to fight a losing battle about staying consciousness by then. Ten minutes, maybe? I really don't remember.'

"That's about what Nick said earlier. Good. I promise you, there won't be that many more." Catherine flipped to another page in the folder. "Nick said that Nigel left the room, correct?" Anna nodded. "Noted on record Anna indicated yes to my question. How long was he gone?"

Anna thought for a moment before she typed her answer out, 'A minute or two maybe? Nick was begging for me to hang on. I kept feeling weaker as the seconds went by. I had lost a lot of blood. I know Nick was on the phone with the 911 lady before he came back in.'

"Do you remember anything about the gun he used to shoot you with? Was it his?"

'It was Nick's. He must have been in the apartment before we got home and got it out of the kitchen where Nick keeps his gun when he's not on duty.'

"What about what you used to shoot Nigel? Was it yours?" Catherine flipped to a piece of paper in the file she was writing in. "According to this, you've got your CCP and your gun is a registered Glock 19?"

'Yes, it was mine. I kept it in the table on my side of the bed. He apparently didn't look in there and I usually don't keep it at Nick's. We had planned on going target shooting. I got it from my house a couple days before this happened. That may have been why he didn't know it was in the nightstand. Nick saw it when he got my phone out to call 911.'

"Okay. There won't be that many more, I promise." Catherine held out a picture to me and asked me to show Anna, "The blood stains on the carpet in the bedroom. This was where you were in the room?" Anna looked at the picture and nodded. She closed her eyes tightly, but the tears still started down her cheeks before hitting the pillow behind her head. After a moment, Anna brought her left hand up to wipe the tears away. "Indicated by Anna was yes to my question. This is going to be the hard part I'm afraid. I need to ask you what you remember about shooting Nigel. If you need a break, let me know and we'll come back tomorrow."

Anna shook her head and picked the phone back up, 'Can you give me a minute and send Cathy or someone in? My side is really hurting and I need my pain meds adjusted. Can Nick stay with me while you're gone or does he need to be out of the room like with the case with my shirt?'

"He can stay and we'll send someone in to adjust your pain meds. We'll be right outside. Just have Nick come get us when you're ready." Catherine turned off the recorder and she and Greg left the room.

"Are you okay?" I held Anna's hand in mine. "You don't have to do this now. It can wait."

Anna freed her hand from mine and picked up Greg's phone again but put it down when Cathy came in the room and punched a few buttons on the pain pump before excusing herself from the room. Anna picked the phone back up again after Cathy left, 'It's not going to get any easier the longer I wait. The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can move on. I'm guessing you've already been interrogated?'

"Yeah. I gave my statement to Grissom when he interviewed me earlier as I was waiting on your surgery. He asked me a few questions and said they'd get more in depth after you were out of surgery. I'm sure IA will want to talk to me seeing as how it happened at our house. I was worried about you and still am. This can wait. Catherine's not in any big hurry to do this. They can come back another day or when your voice gets better."

'I kinda figured that they'd ask you what happened first before they got to me. I know my voice will be better this time tomorrow, but…' Anna stopped typing and looked at me. She sighed and finished her message. 'The faster I get this over with the better. It's not going to get any easier for me until I get done. Plus what else do I have to look forward to while I'm here? Green Jell-o and bad food?'

"Me. I'll be in here. I'll see what I can do about getting you some decent food in here."

Anna smiled. 'Thank you for both parts, especially about you being here. Can you send them back in?'

"Are you sure?" Anna said she was, "If you want to stop, just tell me and I'll get rid of them again. There isn't a hurry to do this. My first priority is you." Anna picked up the phone and scrolled back up to the 'I know' message from earlier. I called Greg and Catherine back in so they could finish.

"Ready now?" Anna nodded again as Catherine went back to her questions as she turned the recorder back on. "Can you tell us what happened?"

Anna picked Greg's up phone again. After typing for a few minutes, she put the phone down on the bed and put her left hand across her eyes. I reached for the phone to see what she wrote and she grabbed my hand and shook her head. "Catherine, this needs to wait. Anna's…" Anna pulled on my hand to get my attention. When I looked over at her, she shook her head at me. Anna took the phone from me and finished typing. She handed me the phone and closed her eyes and turned her head away so she wouldn't have to watch. 'Nigel left the room when the crash happened in the living room. I remember Nick getting my phone out of the nightstand on my side of the bed and calling 911. He said that my gun was still in there and that he was going get it and give it to me in case something happened to him. He got it out of the drawer and hid it under my body down by my lower back.' I had to stop reading, "Are you sure you want me to finish this today?" Anna motioned for me to finish reading what she typed, "Okay." I took a deep breath and finished reading Anna's statement, 'Nigel yelled at Nick again about something and threatened to shoot me a third time and I think that was when he threatened to kill me. Nick let me go and they left the room after I got shot a second time which happened before Nigel left to go up front. I faked being dead so Nigel would leave me alone. He said something about wanting to do an autopsy on me as they left. Once they got up front, I heard Nigel saying something about manners to Nick. They stayed up front and I kept staring at the ceiling in the bedroom waiting to die. I knew if I didn't get up, Nigel was going to kill Nicky and I had to do something. I was so weak by this time because of the blood loss that I didn't know if I could do it or not. I begged for the strength just long enough to get up and save Nick. I closed my eyes and forced myself to get up. I braced myself on the side of the bed and got the gun out from under me and crawled out of the bedroom. When I got to the hallway, I used the door handle in our bedroom and the dresser to pull myself up one handed.'

I looked down at Anna who was watching me intently. I had no idea until now what she went through to save me. Fighting off the tears, I finished reading her statement, 'I leaned against the wall for support and went up front. I was leaning back on the wall in the living room to keep my balance. When I saw Nick on his knees, Nigel raised the gun to kill him and I pulled the trigger before he could shoot Nick. Nigel fell over and looked over at me. He landed on top of the dead guy on the floor and raised his gun to shoot me a third time and I fired several more shots at his direction.' I stopped to wipe tears out of my eyes before I could finish reading what Anna wrote, 'I don't remember a lot after that. My memory is fuzzy from that point on. I was in and out of consciousness by this time. I just remember after I realized he was dead and Nick was okay that a peaceful feeling came over me after I realized Nick was safe. Nick's safety was the only thing that mattered to me. He caught me before I fell and held me while we waited on the police to get to where we were. I started to lose consciousness by then, but was trying to fight it. The lights in the room were so bright.'

No one in the room said another word after I read Anna's message. Greg got up and left the room. Catherine turned off the recorder and excused herself to check on Greg, leaving me alone with Anna. I looked down at her and every emotion I have ever known washed over me. I wanted to say something but nothing in my head sounded right. Anna picked the phone up and erased the messages from earlier and started over again. She typed out a few words and handed me the phone. 'You are my life.' I held Greg's phone in my hand and kept looking at the four words Anna wrote. She motioned for me to give her the phone back. 'I love you. I told you I can't lose you and I meant it.'

"Oh, God." I looked from the phone to Anna. Her brown eyes were staring straight at me. "I don't need the phone to understand what you're trying to tell me now." Anna put her left hand behind my neck and pulled me down so I could kiss her. "I love you, too." I heard Anna gasp and I sat back up to look at her, "Anna?" She started shaking again as she put her left hand across the incision on her abdomen. The alarms in the monitors next to the bed started to go off. "Anna?" She gasped for air as Cathy and another one of the ICU nurses came in and shoved me out of the room.

I was outside when Catherine and Greg saw me come out, "Something's wrong with Anna." I looked at the door to Anna's room as the other nurse that had came in with Cathy left and ran to the nurses' station. "I just got thrown out after she gasped and held onto her stomach like she was hurting." I put my hand across my forehead as a doctor and two more nurses ran by me while they were pushing a crash cart as they went into Anna's room. They shut the door behind them, leaving me outside. "I…" I stopped as I felt the tears coming again. Catherine hugged me as I cried on her shoulders.

I heard the door behind me open and watched as the nurses and one of the doctors took Anna out of the ICU area and ran towards the surgery suites. "Would someone please tell me what's going on?" I started after them when I saw Cathy leaving Anna's room. "Cathy?"

She turned to face me as the doors to the ICU opened and they disappeared with Anna behind the doors. "Nick, she's bleeding internally again and the surgeon thinks her appendix just ruptured." Cathy and I started walking towards the surgery waiting room. "Her stat rates dropped. She's bleeding internally and they're taking her back to surgery to do another ex-lap and find out what's going on."

"How?" I started to sit down, but stopped myself. "She was fine twenty minutes ago. We were in her room and she was giving her statement to them, but she was saying her side hurt. That's why I came to get you." I stared at the doors to the surgery suites. "Did we do this to her? Was the stress of reliving that night too much for her?"

Cathy shook her head, "No. You did no such thing. Anna knows her limits. If she felt bad and didn't want to do the interview, you know as well as I do she would have had both of them thrown out. This isn't your fault. This isn't their fault. I see this often especially after surgeries that are as complicated as Anna's first one was." Cathy hugged me, "She'll be okay. I know she will be. Anna loves you and I know you know that. Anna loves you too much for anything bad to happen to her. She wouldn't leave you. Everything will eventually work itself out. I promise." Cathy looked over at the entrance to the waiting room, "Your friends are over there. I'm going to leave and go call Bryan and let him know what's going on. He's at home with Cody but he'll want to be here for her and he can call her parents and Anna's sister since my French is really limited and let them know what's going on." She got up and left, leaving me alone in the waiting room I was in earlier waiting for news about Anna after she was first brought in.

Catherine and Greg sat with me, trying to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. Bryan showed up about an hour after Anna got taken back to surgery and stayed with us until Cathy came back about two hours later and told us Anna was doing fine, "The surgeons got the bleeding stopped and found something else. Her appendix ruptured and that was why she was holding onto her stomach and why she needed me to adjust her pain meds earlier. I asked Dr. Hoyt after he was done and he said it was nothing that had to do with anything any of you did. Just like I said, these things happen. They've got her in PACU or the post anesthesia care unit. They're going to monitor her again for a little bit and she'll be back in the ICU room she was in before. She should be back on the floor in a couple hours and you can see her then. I'll let you know if I hear anything else."

I leaned back in the plastic chair I was in and rested my head on the concrete wall behind me. I heard Bryan talking to Cathy but I wasn't paying any attention to anyone. I was trying to tell myself everything was going to be okay.

An hour later, the orderlies brought Anna from PACU back into her room in the ICU while she was still sedated still from the surgery. They got her situated in the room and Cathy came in to make sure the monitors were placed properly. She said she was going to go get lunch with Bryan downstairs, but she'd be back in a little bit and left me alone in the room with the noise of Anna's IV pumps to keep me company. I plugged Anna's iPod in and turned it back on to a playlist she had created of with a bunch of her Renee Fleming opera CDs. Anna always told me that Renee Fleming singing opera helped her to relax.

Anna's surgeon came in and said they got the bleeding stopped and removed her appendix and put in a PICC line to administer the antibiotics through and that she was doing fine and as soon as she was up to it, I needed to get Anna up and walking around. He left shortly after that leaving me alone as I got lost in my own thoughts until I heard someone open the door to Anna's room about an hour later.

"Hey Nick."

I turned around to see Cathy standing in the doorway to Anna's room. "Oh, hey Cathy."

Cathy listened to the music a moment as she checked the IV pump and adjusted the medication, "Renee Fleming?"

"Yeah. Anna loves her voice."

"So do I. She's got an amazing voice. Anna's actually who turned me on to her." Cathy reached for Anna's chart that the orderlies had stuck in the bin on the wall. "She woke up yet?"

"No, not yet." I watched as Cathy read over the paperwork in Anna's chart before she checked for the printout on the heart and oxygen monitors. She fiddled with the printout button before it finally printed out the report she needed. "Last surgery, she woke up not too long after she got brought back in her room. I wasn't here and it scared her. I'm not going anywhere this time until she wakes up."

"That's normal as far as the time it took her to wake up. Sometimes, patients are out for hours after a surgery and sometimes, it's less than half an hour." She read over the reports again. "According to this, she's doing well. Very well actually. Compared to her rates that she had when she was in the OR and then in PACU, I'd say she does better when she's around you. It's almost like she knows you're here with her. She's a strong woman. Did Dr. Hoyt stop by after Anna's surgery?"

"Yeah he stopped in long enough to say he stopped the bleeding and he'd be by tomorrow for rounds. Not much for bedside manner is he?"

"No, he's not, but he's an excellent surgeon and he knows it. He'd be who I'd want if I needed surgery." Cathy flipped to another page in Anna's chart and wrote something in it before putting it back in the bin, "She's in good hands with him as her surgeon, I promise."

"He was in a hurry to get out of here. Intramural midnight golf league game I guess. He did mention to me that as soon as Anna's able, he wants me to get her up and make her walk around."

"She'll be up to moving around in a few days. She's gonna be sore. I can promise you that. I was sore after my c-section with Cody and didn't want to get out of bed, but Bryan made me and it did help. Just take it slowly with her and don't rush her and remember this isn't the Boston Marathon. Just a lap or two around the nurses' desk will do for now." Cathy checked the IV tubing and the IV pump before telling me she'd be back later and leaving me alone in the room with Anna.

Another hour passed before I heard Anna starting to move slightly in the bed as the anesthesia wore off. She blinked her eyes a few times as she tried to focus as she fought with the trach tube again. "Anna." I put my hands on her left hand as she tried to pull it out. She stopped fighting and looked at me, "Hon, let me go get Cathy." I left the room and got Cathy and brought her back in, but by that time, Anna had already pulled the trach tube out a second time.

"You always have been a stubborn one just like Bryan. No wonder the two of you get along so well. You're both one and the same." Cathy checked Anna over to make sure she didn't do any damage from pulling out her trach tube again. "Just because you're a medic that doesn't mean you can do that." I could tell from where I was sitting that Anna was staring at Cathy. "And I know what you're thinking and the answer is still no. You should have waited. I know that because you're just like my husband, that's why. He did the exact same thing after he had his appendix removed a couple years ago. I swear, when one of you has a procedure done, the other one has it done too. Both of you have your tonsils out. Both of you broke your arm in elementary school. Now, both of you have dealt with a ruptured appendix. Both of you pulled out your own trach tubes."

I stayed in the room with Anna for another few hours until she fell back asleep. While Anna was asleep, I left her with Cathy who had just gotten off work. I promised Cathy that I'd be gone just long enough to go to the hotel room and shower and change clothes again. When I got back, Anna was still asleep. Cathy told me she didn't wake up while I was gone and said she'd be back on duty later on tonight and would see me then. "The day nurse's name is Shelby. She'll be here until eight tonight and I'll be back then. Anna's probably going to be transferred to a step down room pretty soon. She's doing really well. I've already been told I can transfer to that floor when Anna gets sprung from ICU."

I told Cathy thanks and she left me alone with Anna in the room again. Anna woke up a few times during the day, but not for very long. She knew I was there and after she finally got her voice back, she said that helped her more than I could ever know.

Catherine and Greg came back a couple days after her second surgery after Anna had gotten transferred to the step down room and finished their interview with her without incident. Catherine told me that the day shift had finished processing my apartment and told me I could get my furniture out. Ecklie came by later on that day and told me that after the team went through it combing for evidence and released my apartment, the apartment manager came by looking for me. He had told her I was here with Anna and the manager told him to tell me she was booting me out as well as the other tenants in the building I lived in. Not wanting Anna to be alone, I waited until she was sleeping before I left her with Bryan or with Cathy at the hospital just long enough to go to Anna's house and get some clothes and some of my personal effects that I needed. Catherine had given me the name of a moving company that Sam had used in the past and I hired them to move most of my furniture into a storage unit. They boxed up some of my clothes and had them dropped off at Anna's house. I didn't want to go back to that apartment. I had been by once since Anna got shot and I couldn't stay in the apartment long. Every time I got a look at the blue tarp covering the hole in the living room or the blood pool in my bedroom or the smears on the walls that Anna left behind as she came out of the bedroom to save me, I had flashbacks of seeing Nigel waving that gun at me or at Anna or the flashbacks of Anna's lifeless body crumpled on the floor as little by little, the blood ran out of her body and onto the carpet.

I was staying in town to be close to Anna, but we had talked about me moving in with her since I couldn't go back to my apartment nor did I even want to. She told me to have the movers take whatever I needed to her house. The manager had said she'd put me in another building, but I couldn't do it. I knew I'd never be able to live there again and I didn't even have to ask Anna what she thought. The memories were too painful. The sounds were too painful, especially that scream and the sound I heard when Anna fell to the floor after Nigel shot her. I blinked away the memories and shook my head, trying desperately to forget about what happened.

Anna continued improving as the days went by. Two days after she got transferred to the step down ward, she was put in a private room on the same floor. Cathy once again put in a transfer request to stay with Anna until she was released from the hospital and the hospital obliged. A day after she had been transferred into a regular room, I had stepped out long enough to grab breakfast for myself and had picked up a surprise for Anna for when she woke up. I got back to the room before Anna was up and was lost in thought about my statement I had given to Ecklie and the IAD guys earlier when Anna started to wake up for the morning. "Anna?" I stood up from my chair and sat on the edge of the bed so she could see me.

"You're here." She pushed the button on the bed to raise the part under her back up to a position she was comfortable with, "You looked like you were lost in thought somewhere. Anything important?"

"Nothing important." I kissed her and sat back down, "And of course I'm here. Where else would I be? Feeling better?"

"Somewhat. I'm getting there, slowly but surely. Still in some pain from the abdominal injury but I need to get up and walk around. Dr. Hoyt and Cathy have been on me to get up. Haven't really felt like trying until now. Help me?" Anna moved her IV pole around and yanked the power cord out of the wall before untwisting the tubing and wires as she started to sit up in the bed. I helped Anna up and got her sitting in the bed, "This is a nice change." Anna stayed in bed until she got used to sitting up before she tried to stand up. With my help, she stood up and reached over and got her robe. I put it across her right shoulder as she put her left arm through the sleeve. "Grab Oliver for me."

I looked around trying to figure out what she was talking about, "Who?"

"The IV." Anna pulled on the line attached to the stand, pulling it towards her, "His name is Oliver. He needed a name." I helped her tie the belt of the robe around her waist and held on to her as she got used to standing rather than being on her back in the bed. "He's with me every day and follows me around everywhere I go and as a result, he needed a name."

With me supporting most of Anna's weight and pushing Oliver, we made a short lap around the nurses' desk. There was a picture window on one side of the floor Anna was on and as we walked, she said she wanted to sit and watch for a minute. I moved a chair to make room for Oliver as Anna and I sat down on the bench in front of the window to watch as the cars went by on the roads around the hospital. "I never thought I'd be tired of being in bed all the time. I'm still so sore. How are you?" She leaned over and rested her body against my side, "I've been asleep so much and we haven't had a lot of chances to talk without getting interrupted."

"Tired, but I'm okay I guess. I'm relieved to see you up and about. Feeling okay now that you're mobile?"

"Yeah." Anna didn't take her eyes off the road below the window, "I'm still really, really stiff from being in bed as long as I was and of course, sore from the surgery to my stomach but that's normal. Shoulder's not that bad but the stomach injury is what hurts so much." She started to laugh, "You know what thought just hit me?"

"What?"

"Is it just me or do we spend an unusual amount of time in hospitals after getting hurt since we met? First, you get hurt after that flower pot 419. Then I get sick with the flu. Then you get hurt again. Then I get shot. Seems to me like we got some really bad juju going on or we just really love coming to the hospital. Wonder if there's someone we can call to fix that?"

I laughed, "I'll see what I can do about finding the phone number to the Good Juju Fairy. The thought never hit me until now."

Anna sighed as she started to scratch her right shoulder where her stitches were, "Stitches are itching pretty badly. You know what would work really well right now?"

"I'll ask Cathy for some lotion or something to help with the itching." I put my hand on Anna's and pulled her hand away from her shoulder and kissed it as I interlaced her fingers with mine, "You're going to pop a stitch if you keep on scratching and what is it that you want?"

Still holding onto my hand, she started to get up. I helped her stand on her feet as she leaned against the window before putting her left arm around me and leaning against me. "A Mountain Dew. I'm so sick of water." I held her for a little bit until she said she needed to sit back down before we went back to her room. I moved Oliver out of the way as we both watched the traffic below. She held out her hand a little later. "I think the nausea has passed. Another round before they bring the breakfast carts and force me to eat runny eggs and a bacon type substance?"

We walked around one more time before we went back to the room. We got back just in time for breakfast to be served. I helped Anna get back in bed as the attendant brought the rolling table over and put a plastic plate in front of her. Anna looked less than thrilled when she took the top off of the plate. "Looks…um…well, nasty really." I said a silent thank you that I wasn't the one having to eat it.

I watched as she gagged and poked the eggs with a spork, "They taste just as bad. I'd like to amend my earlier wish. I still want a Mountain Dew, but I've added something else to the list." Anna stabbed one of the strips of the bacon on the plate with her plastic spork, "Some decent food as well as the Mountain Dew."

"I may have just the thing." I bent down to get the bag I brought in last night while Anna was asleep, "You asked me to bring you these." I set some books on the side of her bed, "But I bet you're more interested in this." I pulled out a bottle of Mountain Dew out of my bag and Anna's eyes lit up for the first time since she was in here, "I got this earlier while you were still asleep. You deserve this."

"Ohmigawd, Nick. Thank you." I unscrewed the bottle top and handed it to her as she took a long drink of it, "It seems like it's been forever since I've had one. I had about forgotten what they tasted like." Anna took another drink, "Thank you." She screwed the cap back on the bottle, "And I love you." She motioned for me to lean in closer to her so she could kiss me and I did as she held on to my neck to keep me close to her, "And I don't just mean for the Dew, I mean for everything: for helping me, for staying with me for the past weeks, even though most of it is a blurry, drug induced fog of haze, but thank you."

"I love you too and you're welcome. Where else would I be? I'm where I want to be."

Anna was conscious most of the day. She and I both fell asleep right after dinner and we didn't wake up until Cathy stopped by to check on us before she left for the day and Anna fell back asleep after Cathy left. Bryan came by a little bit later and offered to stay with Anna so I could go back to the hotel room and change clothes and shower and I had to go by the lab. I promised Bryan I'd be right back as soon as I was done and told him if Anna woke up to call me if she needed anything while I was out. I was gone a couple hours and raced back when I got done. The elevator doors opened on the floor that Anna was on and after holding the door open for someone else, I started towards Anna's room.

"Mr. Stokes. How's the girlfriend doing? I haven't seen you much since she got transferred out of the ICU."

I looked over my shoulder to see the security officer that had been stationed at the ICU desk for the better part of the time Anna was in ICU coming to sit back down. "Hey, Matt. She's doing well and that's a good thing I'd suppose with her not having to go back to the ICU. She's been up and walking around earlier."

He told me to tell Anna hi for him as he sat back down at his desk as I kept walking past where he was to the room Anna was in. I walked in Anna's room and found an empty bed. Her IV pole was gone. I left her room and made my way to the nurses' desk, "Excuse me?"

"Yes, sir?" The nurse looked up from the chart he was writing in.

"Anna Gigandet in the room over there, where'd she go?"

"Lemme check." The nurse typed in Anna's name and hit a couple buttons on the computer's keyboard, "I don't see her in MRI or x-ray but if she wasn't on the schedule, she wouldn't be in here. I'm going to look in one more place."

He went back to pushing buttons when I looked up and saw Bryan leading Anna back to her room. Bryan was dragging Oliver with his left hand while he was using his right arm to support Anna's weight. "Never mind. There she is." I left the nurse at the desk and went to where Anna and Bryan were, "Feeling better?"

"It's not as hard as it was the first couple days, but I'm getting there. I'll be back swimming before too much longer." Anna smiled as Bryan let go of her so I could support her as we walked, "Bryan and I made a lap around the nurses' desk at the other end of the ward where we went the other day." She held out her left arm and I took it as she leaned into me, "Frog, would you push Oliver, please?" Bryan took charge of Oliver as I supported Anna as we made one more lap around the nurses' station before we took Anna back to her room. Bryan left to go home but said Cathy would be in later on.

A little over a week later, Anna was able to ambulate without me supporting her weight. We made our daily lap around the nurses' desk and she had just finished off her breakfast when Dr. Hoyt came in to check on her, "Well, according to this, I think it's safe to say that you can go home today. Stay with us long enough to let us pull another MRI on your shoulder and abdomen to check for any problems, then after that if everything looks okay, we'll pack you up and you can get back home."

"Hot damn." Anna's hand went to her mouth to cover it after what she just said, "Oops."

"You're not the first to say that or a variation thereof." Dr. Hoyt laughed and flipped through her chart, "Looks good. Looks real, real good actually. I take it you're ready to go?"

"I was about four weeks ago. I'll be glad to finally get out of here. No offense, but I'm ready to go home."

He left after telling us he'd send a transporter up for Anna in a little bit and after that, she would be discharged.

Four hours and a clean MRI later, Anna was being pushed in a wheelchair as I walked next to her, "Sunshine." I handed Anna her sunglasses I had brought in and helped her out of the wheelchair and thanked the transporter as she left. "This is another thing I haven't felt in weeks. Sunlight." Anna closed her eyes and leaned against my truck as I unlocked the door and put her stuff in the seat. "Finally. Going home." She stared back at the hospital with a distant look I didn't quite understand as she got in my truck. "Home now?"

I got in my side and started the truck. "I can drop you off now, but I need to stop by the Tangiers and check out there, then by the lab and drop something off then I need to go back by my apartment and pick up something and get my deposit check back."

Anna froze, "What?"

"I was going to leave you at the crime lab while I go if you didn't want to go home first. You can see your namesake in Grissom's office if you want. He says Gabby misses you. It won't take but just a minute. I need to go to my apartment and pick up a box the landlord said the movers left behind and I need to get my deposit refund check then that's it. We can go home after that." Anna didn't say anything in response to me, "Anna, what is it?"

"No. I want to go." She folded one of her legs up under her as she adjusted the strap on the sling to bring her right arm up higher, "I want to go back. I need to go back. I want to see."

"Are you sure?" I knew better than to ask that question, but I did anyway, "I mean, after everything that's happened, are you sure?"

"Yes. Take me, please." Anna looked at me, "Nicky? Please. It's something I need to do."

I let out an exasperated sigh as I watched her expression, "My gut is telling me not to do this, Anna." Her eyes were fixated on me and her expression didn't change. "I don't see how anything good can come of this, but I know better than to argue with you. We'll go by there first." I took her left hand in mine and kissed the top of it. "But if you want to leave, tell me and we'll bolt, ok?"

The radio in my truck played softly in the background as I made the familiar turns to the entrance to my old apartment complex. I noticed that as I made the last turn into the complex and slowed down to stop at the manager's office, Anna exhaled a slow breath, "Are you okay?" She said she was as I pulled into the parking lot in front of the manager's office, "Stay here. I need to run in and get my check and then we'll go by my old apartment." I got out of the truck and made my way into the manager's office.

The manager and I talked for a moment before I went back outside with my deposit check and the box that the movers forgot, "Anna, I got…" I looked in my truck. Anna was gone. "le Damn." I dropped the check in the open window and opened the back door and set the box inside and ran to the building I used to live in. The door to my old apartment was open and Anna was standing in what was once my living room next to a pile of yellow crime scene tape and some sheetrock scraps that one of the workers had thrown into a pile on the floor. She was looking up at the blue tarp that was covering the hole in the ceiling, "Anna, honey?" She didn't move. "Anna?"

She slowly turned around to face me, "Nick. I'm sorry, I should have waited, but I just, hell, I don't know." She held out her hand for me to take and took a step forward. The heel of her sandal got caught on a piece of plaster still on the floor. She kicked her foot, sending the plaster chunk flying across the room, "He was here, wasn't he?"

"Yeah. He was here on top of the psychic guy."

"Do you suppose he saw it coming? His death?"

Feeling that was more of a rhetorical question, I didn't answer. With me following close behind and still holding onto her hand, Anna stared at the wall at the back of the apartment. Though most of the wall had been repaired, parts were still smeared in blood from where she leaned against it to save my life. After dropping my hand, she took slow steps as she walked in the hallway and ran her fingers over the dried blood until she pulled her hand away as her fingers touched the fresh sheetrock. Reaching for my hand again, I followed her as she made her way into what was once our bedroom.

My furniture was long gone. The crime lab took my bed due to the blood on the side of it. Anna had said she used it to brace herself as she stood up to come up front. The only things in the room were the miniblinds from the window and a bucket of sheetrock mud that were both in a corner of the room. The carpet was taken right after I got my furniture out due to the blood stains from her wounds. Anna stared at the concrete floor as she dropped my hand and brought her left hand up to her right shoulder and let it drift down towards her stomach to touch the points where she was shot as she stepped in the middle of the blanched spot on the concrete. I could only imagine what she was thinking as she was no doubt replaying the events of that night over in her mind as we both stood there, "This was where I was?"

"Yes." I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist and she leaned into me, "You were here, lying on your back." Anna had her head down as she was staring hard at the spot on the concrete floor. When her I felt her sob, it was then that I noticed she was crying as I felt the tears hit my arms. I turned her around to face me so she wouldn't be looking at the bleached spots on the floor and held her in my arms as she put her left arm around me and cried into my shirt, "Oh, God, Anna. I'm sorry. Damn, I'm so sorry for doing this to you. Honey, I'm just so sorry." I turned around slowly, bringing her with me and hoping she'd follow me and leave with me, "Come on, let's get out of here."

"It's not your fault, Nick. I wanted to see this." She took a step back from me and wiped tears from her eyes with her shirt, "I wanted to. I needed to in some weird, deranged way."

With my right hand firmly holding on to her left hand, I led her back out of the apartment and outside through the courtyard in the building. Dropping her hand long enough to shut the door, I left her staring up at the clouds for a moment before I took her hand in mine as we made our way towards the manager's office where my truck was. Anna stopped at the edge of the courtyard and leaned against the stone wall as she cried. She was telling me she couldn't walk any more, "I'm sorry, Anna. I shouldn't have agreed to this." I picked her up and carried her across the parking lot to my truck.

"I got sh…"

She was still crying as I set her down and I pulled her into my arms again as she put her left arm around me to hug me back as I opened the door for her, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Anna started to cry harder into my shirt. My heart was aching for her and the pain all of this caused her. I mentally berated myself for ever agreeing to this. Anna finally let go of me and sat down and I could tell as we drove off, she was watching the reflection of the building in the side view mirror. I stopped by the Tangiers and checked out then made a quick trip inside the crime lab to pick up some paperwork Grissom said I needed to finish before I came back to work.

Anna was quiet the whole ride out to her house. She stared out the window as the scenery went by. A couple times, a song she knew came on the radio and I could hear her softly sing a few verses here and there, but she wasn't acting like herself. It wasn't until we finally made the last turn to get to her house that she came out of her trance. "Home." She looked out across her front yard. "Home. Finally." I took care of the gate and parked as she got out of the passenger side of the truck. "It looks different. Smaller maybe." I unlocked the door to the house and Draco bounded up to see Anna. She sniffed both of us before deciding everything was back to normal and trotted off to the back of the house where her bed was.

"You want anything? Hungry?

Anna shook her head, "No. I'm fine right now." She did her one armed hug again as she buried her face in my shirt. "I just need you."

A/N: Just remember everyone – this is FICTION. I've never had to stay overnight in the hospital, but I've known plenty of people who have and I tried to make this as realistic as possible but this is fiction, so keep that in mind if you see any inaccuracies with my version of Anna's hospital stay. However, I do work in a hospital.

- Insert obligatory begging for review line here with me giving everyone the sad puppy dog face as I beg -

More chapters to come! I'm not done telling this story.