Chapter 16

Late that Saturday Billie stood in front of a long mirror. Her hair was waved, she wearing a light wisp of perfume and light make-up upon her face. She ran her hands along her sides, down her hips, admiring the way the black lace dress fit. Smoothing the fabric her eyes went upward, seeing the tiny straps that curved over her shoulders. Her skin looked soft and glowy and though the girl was anything but vain she considered herself well put together that evening. Unlike her thoughts weeks ago, on this day she looked over her reflection in the mirror and wondered what Jimmy would think of her. Would he like the dress and think she was attractive? There were countless other girls standing in their own mirror that night dreaming of the boys at school. For Billie, she thought about a man.

Since being parted with him her thoughts had never ventured away. She tried to think of one moment he hadn't been on her mind and if not readily at the front she had few moments before he was back again. He'd kissed her. Not on the lips like a proper kiss, but it was worthy of the word and all her attention afterward. Her mind was consumed with a grand debate. Having a crush on him was harmless, but since he'd appeared to return the notions it put everything in a whole different realm. Her attraction toward him was conventional if not natural. However, he returning those feelings for a girl many years his junior went into a category where things appeared inappropriate and wrong. There was also a thin line before it became just plain sick.

Knowing the gap between them, the underlying factor of age, she looked at herself now thinking in the way he saw her. She could be every bit the young, inexperienced, naive child he thought her to be; but he didn't treat her like that. Attempting to be a step ahead of him she tired to think outside all that. It could all be nothing. He could be leading her on, acknowledging her crush and making the most of it just for the time he was around. She was aware of this; that her feelings and assumptions were all in her head and completely one sided.

It would be a cruel kind of joke for at this point Billie felt very faithful toward him and to Jimmy these feelings were obvious. He would be crushing a young girls heart if he continued and she wondered if this were in his character; if he were capable of that. She had little experience with boys and none with men but she'd heard enough rumors through life to come to a general idea. Men would be men, and maybe his feelings toward her were honest in the moment, but they were nothing more than that, and thus he would never feel any guilt if he dropped her without a word. It was only natural.

It wasn't like the two were in a relationship, further giving Billie reason to believe she was making much ado about nothing. They didn't owe each other anything. She had to keep reminding herself of these truths.

John, on the other hand, knew he had to get a hold of himself. He needed to know what he was doing and why or else he would be lost; a mess. He knew, from many past experiences, that if he didn't think and get his head on straight everything would be a disaster. However, he did know he didn't want to mess this up, and why was because of one simple fact- he liked the girl. When he thought of Billie he thought of her as a woman, one he could wine and dine and maybe even love. When he looked at the facts he knew she was but a teenager and having those kind of feelings for her automatically made it negative.

He thought of other women, other girls much younger than himself. He could look at a group of girls Billie's age and pick out ones he found attractive and that appealed to him, but it wasn't as though he went through those groups thinking they were an opportunity, looking for his next conquest. What was remarkable was that Billie, in that category that he didn't naturally lean toward, was not only beautiful but seemed to expel everything he imagined he wanted in a woman. She was his full package with unexpected wrapping. He also thought that maybe, the way he was so peculiarly drawn toward her in a kind of cosmic way, that they could be some matter of "soul mates."

He found it hard to linger on that kind of idea, it being so foolish. He'd never believed in such a thing before and laughed at others who did, but, he was feeling something he couldn't describe. They'd almost kissed in the car; she held his hand and he'd kissed her cheek. These were unexceptional things that seemed exceptional. Things were happening between them. There were emotions, for sure, and they were turning physical. He had to know what he wanted from this girl. He realized that if she were older he would have already asked her on a date. Did he want something, a genuine something, a relationship, with her? Would he be willing to do so, was it worth it, knowing the distress that could come from such a thing?

Her thoughts still on the man, Billie thought of another person the two shared familiarities. Mary. How could she tell her best friend that she'd almost kissed her uncle? She would be, Billie was fairly sure, disgusted to the point where she would no longer wish to speak to her. The friendship would be over. How did she come to stand in the middle of so many contradictory factors? Her emotions toward the man would have to remain secret, for several peoples sake, and she would do her best to not become terribly attached. She thought those to be her only options.

There was a knock on the front door.

Billie moved away from the mirror and put on her sweater. Her mother wouldn't let her leave the house without it; she was disappointed to cover the exposed skin she thought very alluring but obliged to make it out the door. She grabbed a small purse and headed down the stairs in her heels. At the front door she noticed Mary, glammed up herself, and her older brother Norman at her side. He wasn't going to the dance nor was he dressed up and she assumed he was just coming for the ride. Billie tired to see around them, even at her difficult angle, to catch a glimpse of Jimmy if he'd really come to drive them.

Her mother was making small talk with the siblings. When she approached the elder woman stepped aside and the two best friends got their first real gander at each other. Their smiles were wide, excitement running high. Billie hugged her mother and kissed her cheek, preparing to leave and wanting to do so quickly. When the crowd was gathered on the pouch, just a step off from being on their way, the elder Mary halted them with one statement.

"Is your uncle here?" she asked, looking over their heads to the car. Several of their excited faces dropped. Mary Hancock tried to make a reply but it came out like a blurred cough.

"Uhm..."

"Is that him back here?" she shaded her eyes and squinted through the windshield some distance away. "I'd really like to thank him, and I have something to give your family."

Billie knew none of this and looked to her friend in a way that explained this silently. When Mrs. Frechette wanted something it was in no ones position to tell her otherwise, especially a teenager. Mary would even admit to being slightly scared of her friends mother. The woman could freeze you with just one look and make you shake with fear even while thinking you had done nothing wrong. She thought for a moment that she could retrieve the gift for her family without having to make John leave the car, but knowing the woman wished to speak with him personally and already seeing the beginnings of that look on her face made Mary realize it would never happen. Obliging politely the girl stepped off the porch, her brother and Billie as her side, nervously gazing into the car.

The two girls were nervous for the adults to meet for very different reasons and neither of them were known to the other. Mary looked into the car directly at her uncle, giving him a look and a nod that said to get out. He, watching the three figures on the porch, could see some hesitation happening with his niece and the woman that emerged from the house. She waited by the door while the rest of them trudged back, he only getting a second to notice Billie in her dress before he became distracted with the situation at hand. He was being called out, which wasn't an emergency or need to panic, but he was on guard.

Passing the groups that headed back to the car he barely looked at them as he focused on the woman ahead. Billie felt the familiar pitter-patter that occurred when she was near the man but with it now came a rush of anxiety as he approached her mother. John noticed that the woman held familiar features with Billie, or rather it was the other way around. There was a warmth lacking in this person that was overwhelming in Billie, and her eyes were dark unlike the alarming vibrancy of her daughters. He wore his sunglasses, a feeble attempt at being incognito, and though rude had no intention of taking them off while they spoke.

"Ma'am," he greeted her with a smile.

Mary took in his overall appearance from his neat and casual attire to the dark glasses hiding his eyes. She couldn't shake the feeling of being suspicious of him and her maternal instincts were in full force, she studying him as if she were to give a full eye-witness account of him later. His hair was dark, his skin tanned, and she was aware that even though some of his face was hidden he was definitely handsome. "How do you do, Mr...?"

"Um, Jimmy. You can call me Jimmy."

She introduced herself and asked him to wait a moment. She disappeared into the house and returned in seconds with a basket. He looked from it to the woman, keeping his composure. All he could think about while he tried to communicate with her was if this woman knew how desperately he lusted after her daughter.

"I'd like to thank you for buying Billie's dress. That seemed like quite an expensive treat." She didn't mask the underlying suggestions of the statement. He looked at her steadily, smiling.

"Oh, it was nothing. I couldn't buy Mary one without offering her friend, too."

She presented him the basket which contained corn bread she'd made herself, a melon from the tree out back and macaroons also homemade. It was also an offering of thanks, and she asked him to take what he wanted and naturally give the rest to Audrey and Emmet. Now holding the basket he stepped off the porch, slowly descending backward. Mary wondered if it was her paranoia or if the man was really that anxious to get away.

"I'll be sure to do that. Thank you so much, they'll love it. It looks wonderful."

The expression on her face turned into something of an amused smirk. He'd noticed the same look on Billie a time or two and was able to differentiate between them both. Though this woman was giving thanks and offering gifts as well, there was a kind of coldness to her that took away from the gesture. With Billie everything was sincere and he could almost always tell the intentions that hid behind her looks. This woman looked at him in a way that, even as a grown man, made him nervous. He had obviously begun to head back to the car and for the first few steps Mary followed at his side.

"What business are you in, Mr...mm, Jimmy?"

From inside the car someone honked the horn. Mary did not move but it startled John to the point where he jumped and spun his head around toward the vehicle. Whoever it was had jumped back and out of view, he seeing Norman in the passenger seat and the two girls in the back looking innocent. Returning his gaze toward the woman he smiled again.

"I'm sorry, they're in a hurry. I ought to get going."

Not another gesture was made though the same sinister smile hung tight on her lips. Turning around Mary signaled the end of the conversation and her form was seen in the retreating light of day entering back into the house. John breathed out a heavy sigh and strode to the car door, sliding behind the wheel, aware that he was sweating.