Kayla waited for the centrifuge to stop spinning before she pulled the vials out of the machine. She normally did not work in this part of the lab, but the situation was too urgent for her to just be an administrator. Miss Peach was in a coma and Bo was getting sicker by the day. If they did not find a cure soon, both would die.
"How are you coming over there?" Carly asked.
Kayla separated the contents of the vials into two different trays, so that Carly would be able to isolate the virus. She discarded one of the trays and carried the other to where Carly was working. "You should have six samples," Kayla said.
"Good," said Carly, without looking up from her microscope.
That task done, Kayla looked around the lab to see what else she could do to keep busy. That seemed to be a constant refrain for much of the year. Keep busy with work, so she didn't have to think about other things. Like how much she missed Steve. Like how confused she still was about her feelings for Shane.
Kayla cared deeply for Shane. No, that wasn't fair. She loved Shane. It was so hard for her to admit it, because she knew what she had experienced with Steve was so special. But Kayla had found happiness with Shane. When she had wanted to give up, Shane refused to let her. He had helped her find purpose, by tracking Lawrence Alamain to his home country and then by having her run the immunology lab. He also had been her support outside of work, helping her realize that she could begin to live again. To love again.
In a way, Kayla felt guilty. She knew that Shane wanted her to commit to him, and she had been ready for awhile. But for some reason, she kept stalling. Kayla smiled as she thought about how patient Shane was. He never pushed her. If she wanted to go slow, he would wait. What was it he had said? They would know when the time was right.
Maybe it was time. She did love Shane, and she wanted to be with him in every way. There was no reason to put off making love with him.
Perhaps she was just scared. She was so unlike Kim, whose past experiences had probably taught her everything imaginable about pleasing a man in bed. Kayla wasn't exactly inexperienced sexually; it's just that she had slept with only a few different men. What if she slept with Shane and didn't compare to her sister? What if he was disappointed?
You're just being silly, Kayla told herself. Shane loved her and wanted to be with her. He could have gone back to Kim, but he had chosen her. He wanted her. Kayla looked at the emerald ring on her finger, the ring that Shane's mother had worn every day from the day that Shane's father decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Shane had given Kayla that ring because he loved her and wanted a lifetime with her. She smiled at the thought.
"Am I interrupting anything?"
Kayla turned to see the object of her thoughts in the doorway. She quickly checked the clock. Shane was supposed to come around noon, for lunch, but it was only 8:30 a.m. She looked back at Shane and felt a chill.
"You've got that 'She's not going to like what I have to say' look on your face," Kayla said, walking toward him. "Tarrington?"
He nodded. "I've got to leave in about an hour."
No, she thought. Not when she had just decided. It was so unfair. She tried to remain calm. "Do you know how long you'll be gone?"
"A week, maybe." There was something about the way he spoke that made her nervous. Come to speak of it, she noticed that he had made no attempt to hold her like he normally did when they stood so close.
"Shane? Is something wrong?"
"No, of course not." He smiled at her. "I just hate being away from you."
She could tell from his voice that he was lying. There was something different about this mission, something that was making him push her away. She remembered the way Kim talked about how Shane would tense up and keep her at arms length leading up to particularly dangerous missions. Kim had described that before Shane left on the Jericho mission, and look what happened there.
"It's dangerous, isn't it?" Kayla asked. "This mission."
"You know I can't tell you that," he answered. "It'll just be about a week. I'll be back before you know it." He reached over and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand.
She smiled back. "I'll be waiting. And I've made a decision that I think you'll like."
"Oh?"
"I think I'm ready. I don't want to go slow any more." Kayla had expected that to cause him to break out in a grin, but he gave her a kind of funny look. "Did I say something wrong?" she asked.
"No, of course not." He brushed her cheek again and kissed her on the forehead. "Look, I'd better go. I need to stop by the police station and talk to Roman before I go to the airport."
Kayla felt so confused, but maybe this was just his way of cushioning the blow of his leaving. She had not really gone through this with Shane before, so maybe she just had to get accustomed to how he acted before missions. She looked into his eyes. "I'll be dreaming of you. Every night, until you're home . . . in our bed. Think of me?"
"Of course, Kay." He said that with an almost sad smile, before he leaned over and gave her a soft kiss,. Then he said, "I'll be thinking about you constantly. Just remember that I love you."
There it was again. That odd tone that gave her chills. She tried to mask her fear; if he was trying to cover up the danger, he didn't need her to act scared in front of him. So she just smiled and tried to act like this was just a normal day, just a normal parting. "I love you too," she said. And because she could not completely suppress her fears, she added, "Be careful, Shane. Come back to me."