Chapter 16 – Haunted Heart

"Finally." I stuffed the last remaining sheet of paper in the file and paper clipped it together and tossed it in the bin at the edge of the room for the police department courier. After writing out a narrative from the case that kept me busy all night long, I was finally done. I waited on the printer to get finished and after it did, I stuck those two sheets of paper on top of the folder in the bin and turned the lights out and left the lab. I stretched my back out as I waited on the door to shut behind me.

"Tough night. You heading home?"

"Not right now I'm not. I'm restless and don't really feel like sleep." I started walking with Warrick until we got to the hallway that led to the locker rooms, which was where I was headed. I stood in the right side of the hallway as Warrick stood in the left side of the hallway, preparing go to the front of the building to leave after he met up with Greg and Grissom. "I will in a little bit. I'm gonna go find somewhere quiet and hide for a while. Tough case from last night and I'm hungry and I need breakfast."

"What'd you get?"

"Sara and I got assigned a domestic case. Wife died at the scene. Husband really did a number on her. Medics tried to revive her, but she died at the scene from the severe beating she took. Poor lady."

"Those are always tough. I'll see you after court." Warrick said he'd be home as soon as he could if I wanted to talk. I watched as he left me in the hallway of the lab and met up with Grissom and Greg before they went out of my line of sight. He was heading to court for a case that they had all worked a couple months ago. After heading down to the locker room to grab my stuff, I went outside and got in my truck and was getting ready to leave when my phone rang. I glanced at the screen and I didn't recognize the number, so I decided against answering the phone. I was off duty and whoever it was could leave a message. I muted the ringer and threw it in the glove box of my Tahoe and left the parking lot before anyone else could stop me.

I was restless from the case that Sara and I worked last night. Abuse cases were always hard on all of us, but when the abuse turned violent and the case wound up with Sara and me investigating the woman's death which led to the arrest of the husband, it was harder than I thought it'd be. No matter what we did, the woman was still dead and the husband was still alive. The only closure we got in cases like these was the knowledge that we did all we could to speak for the decedent and with our help, there would be an arrest. In this case, her abuser husband was in jail.

Bryan and his new partner were the medics on the scene and I couldn't help but remember the first time I met Anna when I was in the back of the ambulance after watching them try to save the wife without having any luck. She died at the scene from her injuries in the fight she had with her husband earlier in the night. I stayed with the wife's body until the coroner came and took her back to the lab for an autopsy. After our shift was over, I couldn't get out of the lab fast enough. The night started off bad with the call and went downhill quickly after the lady died then having the memories of Anna mixed in with an already bad night.

Bryan did stop to check on me before they cleared the scene, remembering that the first time Anna and I met was at a domestic violence call. He did tell me Anna called him last night and said that she refused to tell him where she was and that she used a calling card at a pay phone to keep from being found. He went on to say that Anna sounded horrible on the phone and that she asked how I was doing. When Bryan tried to talk to her about coming back, Anna said she had to go and hung up the phone after she said she'd call again in a couple days. It still stung to know she calls Bryan but won't call or speak to me. Some nights, it hurt so badly that I wound up sick in the bathroom.

I drove down one of the main roads of Las Vegas, trying to figure out what sounded good for breakfast. Nothing really sounded good so I pulled in one of the casinos and parked my truck and went inside. I started to go left towards the restaurants when I changed my mind and went to the bar instead. I told the bartender to bring me a beer and she did a few moments later. Leaving there, I went to the gaming floor and stood back and watched as the players did their best to tilt the odds in their favor. I finished my drink and got another one and before long, I was on my fourth one. I was feeling a little bit lightheaded and went and sat back down at another bar in the casino. I knew that if the bartender thought if a patron was getting too much to drink, they had the right to cut them off. Given the dark area in my life, I decided to play it safe and went to another bar area in the casino for my next round of drinks. Instead of another beer, I ordered a Crown and Coke and in one swallow, I downed the whole drink. I left there and went to a third bar in the casino and got another Crown and Coke and sat down at a slot machine and hoped my luck here would be better than the luck I've been having.

After losing ten dollars, I finally hit. I only won about thirty dollars, but I cashed out and went to the cash out windows and gave them my bucket of quarters to change. I put the money in my pocket and went back to the bar for another drink. By this time, I was feeling little pain and with my steps being as unsteady as they were, I decided to sit down and take my time with this drink and people watch. It was almost half an hour before someone interrupted me.

"And there he is. The man that ruined my life."

I turned around to see who was behind me. "And look who it is." I took another drink of my beer. "My very own stalker. I have never had one before." I flagged the bartender down and asked her to bring me another drink. "Oh wait! Yes I have. He tried to kill me." I took a long drink from the bottle before I spoke again. "Look lady. I don't know why you feel a need to harass me all the time. You think I ruined your life? You ruined mine. Because of you, my girlfriend is gone. Happy now?"

"So is my brother. Guess it's an eye for an eye then."

I stood up too fast, knocking the chair off balance but I managed to catch it before it fell and drew attention to myself. "Your brother was a psychotic lunatic who murdered two women that we know of. If that wasn't bad enough, he shoved me out of a second story window and then later, he shot my girlfriend twice and she almost died." I started to walk away, but the anger inside of me was so pent up because of Anna leaving that it needed an out and Renee was my out. "I don't know why you're still here. I don't really care. I'm gonna say this once and once only so write it down, take a little note or stitch it on a pillow: leave me alone. I don't want to see you ever again. I don't want to speak to you ever again. If you know what's good for you, you'll get in your car and get back to Alabama or wherever in the hell you're from and leave me alone. You and your brother have done more than enough damage to me in one lifetime. If I see you again, I will have you arrested for stalking, harassment and attempted murder."

I turned to leave and Renee got in front of me. "Who did I attempt to murder? The only murderer I know is that girlfriend of yours."

I cut my eyes to her again. My mind was full of smartass remarks that I wanted to shoot at her, but I held back. I was in no condition to be seen by anyone at work and if I said the wrong thing, she'd probably wind up attacking me and in my current state of intoxication, I didn't need anyone from work interfering and wondering why I was as drunk as I was. "I'm not going to even justify that with a response. I'm leaving. Do not follow me. Do not speak to me. Do not cross me. If you know what's good for you, you will go back to wherever the hell you're from. I thought you'd be gone by now."

"I am not done with my dead brother's estate."

"Whatever." I started to walk out of the casino and got almost to the steps that led up to the exit of the casino when Warrick stopped me. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not done with you." Renee took a step forward and attempted to hit me, but Warrick stopped her. "Don't get in the middle of this."

"I'm saving your ass from beating hers." Completely ignoring Renee, he put his hand on my shoulder and shoved me towards the main entrance of the casino. "Alright, let's go." He pulled me towards the entrance by my forearm. "Nick, come on. She's not worth it. Trust me."

"Where are you taking him?" Warrick let me go and turned to face Renee when she grabbed the back of his shirt. "He and I…We're not done yet. I want to speak to my brother's murderer."

"Lady, I…"

Warrick interrupted me when he shoved me about two feet in front of him and started towards Renee. I tried to follow and Warrick stopped me and shoved me backwards again. "I think the crown is weighing heavily on the queen's head. Let me deal with her. You stay out of it." She tried to go around him to get to me, but Warrick stopped her when he signaled to two security officers standing guard near the door to take Renee. "Call LVPD on her, now. She's threatening my friend over there and is still stalking him and I just witnessed an act of battery against him. There are reports already on file about her and she's at it again. I'm sure the video evidence here will back our statements up. If they ask who initiated the arrest, have them call me. Warrick Brown, Las Vegas Crime Lab."

The security officers took Renee who was struggling to break free from them towards the back of casino where their offices were as Warrick came over to where I was. "Come on, Sugar Ray. Let's go."

I shook free of his grip and started walking the opposite way back towards the bar. "How the hell did you find me? I'm not ready to go. I'm still thirsty."

Warrick caught me by the elbow and pulled me towards the door. I stumbled at the edge of the steps leading from the casino gaming floor up to the exit. Warrick didn't back down. He led me outside. "I knew where you were because the bartender called me. She and I went out a few times. She told me you needed help and wanted me to come get you rather than call the cops or security. She did you a favor by calling me."

"Great. I have a babysitter now. She had no right. Damn it, I'm a free man and I can do what I want." I started to walk away from Warrick and his confrontation but he stopped me. "Now what do you want? I told you. I'm leaving."

"She had no right, huh? She had no right to keep your stupid, drunk ass out of jail? She had no right to call a friend to come get you before you did something stupid?" Warrick stopped and pulled me to one side of the valet lot to where a limousine that had tinted windows was parked. "Take a good look in the mirror. Look at yourself, Nick. Look. Tell me what you see."

"That's a window, not a mirror." I stared at my reflection in the window of the limo. I looked like hell and I felt like hell but I wasn't about to tell Warrick I agreed with him. "So you want me to tell you something about myself? Something I'm not seeing? I see myself. I'm fine and I don't have anything to say. Even if I did, you wouldn't ever believe me when I would tell you that I'm fine, so what's the point? Now I'm going home."

"No you're not." Warrick shoved me towards the parking lot. "I'm taking you home. You're not driving yourself anywhere."

"Just like I told that woman a minute ago, whatever. I'm out of here." I got away from Warrick and started towards the south end of the parking lot before I realized I was going the wrong way. My truck was on the north end of the parking lot. I changed course in the middle of the lot and tripped over a curb. Catching myself on a lamp post, I started again towards my truck. Warrick appeared in front of me, blocking the last steps towards my truck. "Move."

"What woman?"

"You missed that part before you came riding up on your white horse, attempting to save me. I don't need to be saved. I'm fine. I'm talking about that woman in there. The same woman who made Anna leave and speaking of leaving, I'm going home. Now move."

"Nick, no. You're not driving home."

"The hell I'm not." I moved around him. "I will drive home. You're not my mother." I looked around the parking lot, trying to remember which row my truck was in. "I will as soon as I find my truck."

"Nick, stop! I may not be able to save you from yourself, but I can damn well save you from doing something stupid that you're not thinking about." Warrick shoved me back. "You're in no shape to drive. Give me your keys." He put his hand on my shoulder and held me back to where I couldn't walk.

"Let me go." I broke free of Warrick's grip and tripped over a parking lot speed bump. I caught myself on a mini van parked nearby. "I'll see you at home."

Before I could react in my inebriated state, Warrick pulled my hand back, spinning me around. Again, I caught myself on the mini van as he pulled my truck keys out of my hand. "You're not driving. Nick, look at yourself. You can barely stand up."

"I'm fine." I tried reaching for my keys, but I couldn't. Warrick held them up over his head as he held his left hand out against my chest, stopping me from moving forward. "Give me my damn keys so I can get the hell out of here."

"You want to ruin your life, fine. I don't care but if you're going to do it, you can do it without taking out someone else with you. What would you do if you hit someone? Huh? How many DUI wrecks have we worked? Take a guess." I shrugged my shoulders and kept my eyes on Warrick. He didn't back down. "Over a hundred? Sound fair?"

"Yeah. Whatever. What's your point?"

"My point? My point is that it's one thing to screw up your own life. That's your God given right. If you want to screw up your life, fine. I can't stop you, but listen to me, man. Think about what you're doing. How many times have we been to a DUI wreck at work and we had to go to the hospital to collect evidence? Think, Nick. How many times have we watched the family members of some innocent person who was at the wrong place at the wrong time break down because their family member died? How many?"

"A lot." Warrick was making a point, but I wasn't going to let him know that. "So what?"

"So help me…" Warrick shook his head. "Nick, I won't let you do this to yourself. Man, I know you're pissed over Anna being gone, but I refuse to let you ruin your life over this. What would she think if she saw you like this?"

I felt the anger begin to boil over. "Why the hell should I care anymore? Huh? Why should I care what the hell she thinks or what you think? She's gone. Anna is gone. The best thing to ever walk into my life is gone. Anna left me. She doesn't give a damn about me anymore, so why should I give a damn about her? Now give me my damn keys." I was faster than Warrick was and before he could react, I grabbed my keys out of his hand and started towards my truck once more.

"You have thirty seconds, Nick. Give me the damn keys to your Tahoe or I'll tackle you and you will wind up in the hospital."

Even though I remembered that Warrick played ball in high school and in college, I decided to call his bluff. I turned to walk off, counting down the seconds in my head. Finally, after I counted to twenty six, I tossed the keys over my shoulder without even looking back. I never heard them hit the concrete, so I assumed Warrick caught them. "That's better. Now wait your punk ass here and don't move or I'll handcuff you to a light post. I have to call someone to pick up your truck and bring it back to my apartment. I'll drive you home myself. I'd rather do that and have you hate me rather than me having to come bail your ass out of jail or worse, having to call your parents to tell them their son is dead because he was stupid."

"Don't call anyone from work." I stared at the ground, embarrassed about how I was acting. "Please. I know I don't have a right to make demands but please, don't call anyone from work. Can you call someone who doesn't know me? I don't need this getting around at work. I already feel bad enough as it is for acting like I have been lately."

"Fine. Don't move and if you have to hurl, do it over there somewhere. You hurl in my truck and I'll take you to jail myself for public intox." Warrick pulled his phone out of his pocket and pushed a few buttons before bringing it to his ear. I felt the ground begin to spin, so I sat down on the curb as I waited on whoever Warrick was calling to come and pick up my truck.

About twenty minutes later, a car pulled up to the parking lot where we were. A lady dressed in surgical scrubs got out and came to us while the driver of the car she was in left. Warrick tossed my keys to her and told her to follow us home. "I'll take mine. You take his, and thanks for doing this. I appreciate it."

The lady smiled, "You so owe me for this. I was on my way in to work."

I could tell from my viewpoint on the ground that Warrick was definitely not going to complain when it came to paying her back for the favor.

I was barely conscious on the ride home. It was only after we got to the parking lot and Warrick opened the passenger side door of his truck and I almost fell out that I started to become aware of what was going on. I left Warrick and the mystery lady outside as she gave him the keys to my Tahoe. He said he was going to take her to work and he'd be back in a little bit. After thanking the mystery lady, I left them where they were in the parking lot as I went inside to find some sort of pain reliever for the hangover headache I was about to get. Before I started up the stairs to Warrick's apartment, I glanced over my shoulder and saw he was helping her in the passenger's side of his Tahoe.

After I got inside, I found a bottle of Tylenol in the kitchen and swallowed a couple pills and drank two full glasses of water, trying to head off a hangover before it started. I made a stop in the bathroom to get a rag to use for a cold compress for my face before lying down in bed.

A couple hours later, I was still lying in bed with a cold rag across my face when I heard someone knocking on my door. "Yeah?" The door opened and I heard someone come in as I pulled the rag off my face to see who it was. The lights from the hall outside blinded me and I groaned. "Blinding light. Blinding light." I put my hands across my eyes. "Kill me now."

I heard a sound as Warrick set something down on the table beside my bed. "Little morphine for the pain. Drink up. Sorry, but I'm all out of hemlock."

I reached over to the table as I kept my eyes shut, trying to keep the blinding light out. "Could you turn the lights off or close the door or something?" I found the glass with my hand and took a drink. "Crap, you're giving me more alcohol again? What is it?"

"Hair of the dog. It's a weaker version of what you were drinking earlier. Drink that, then afterwards, chug water or you'll wind up sick as hell later on when we get to the lab later on for work and don't worry about the Renee arrest. I'll handle that and keep you out of it. I guess the good thing to come out of all of this is at least when we get the tapes to show she was stalking you, you weren't stumbling drunk or falling over yourself or something."

"Thanks, man." I finished the rest of the drink Warrick fixed and put the empty glass on the table. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be such a…"

"Lobotomized jackass?"

I laughed, "I wouldn't have exactly said that about myself, but since you offered, yeah, a huge pain in the ass. Thank you. I don't mean just for putting up with me, but for everything. It just seems that the story of my life here lately has been nothing but self destruction. I am so self destructive lately that I turn solutions into problems. Everything I touch, I ruin. I'm Midas in reverse. Sometimes, I wish I could walk around with a 'Handle with Care' sign stuck to my forehead. I know that people say that things fall apart so that other things can fall together and I guess that's true in some cases, but I've been doing an awful lot of falling apart and there hasn't been anything that has been coming together. I feel like I'm down to the last thread on the rope, and I'm just dangling on." I sat up in bed and threw the rag in the laundry basket in my closet. "But back to the thank you part. Thanks for listening to me bitch, for keeping my secret and for not letting me ruin my life more than it already is."

"You're welcome and don't worry about it. You've helped me and covered for me more times than I can count before I got this gambling addiction under control. If anything, I still owe you a lot."

"Well if that's the case…" I trailed off, waiting to see Warrick's reaction.

"You're pushing it, Nick." He threw a towel I had draped over my closet door at me. "Need anything else?"

After a moment, I shook my head. "Nothing you can bring me, unless you know where Anna is."

"Nick, I wish I did. I'd get her myself if I could. Somehow, if I had to guess, I'd say she's not much better off than you are." Warrick sat down in the chair in my room. "I see how you are. You're trying to put on a brave front and bury the feelings so deep down that you're thinking no one can tell that something's going on. To the outside world, you try and act like nothing is wrong or will ever be and that everything in your life is perfect. I knew you were lying three weeks ago when all of this started, but I let you have your distance. I knew you'd tell me eventually, or I'd just beat it out of you."

"Thanks for not pushing me and for not telling everyone at work. I know I've been a mess and I'm sorry."

"Like I said before, it's not a problem. You've bailed my ass out more than once in the past and now I can repay you. You're hurting. I know I can't do much to help you other than be your friend."

"That helps more than you know. People say that bad memories cause the most pain, but it's the good ones that actually drive you insane. I'm teetering on the edge of insanity and I have been since she left."

"Even in your drunken state, you can still make some sense. My grandmother always told me that having a good friend is having a connection to life. It's a tie to the past, a road to the future and the keys to sanity in a totally insane world." Warrick stood up from the chair. "Go to sleep. I'll make sure you're up in time to stop by the store to get some eye drops before work. You're gonna need them and don't forget to drink lots of water. You'll pee like a race horse, but it'll help."

After I thanked him again, he left me alone in the room to sleep. I tried to sleep, but Anna was in my thoughts and because of her, I couldn't sleep. I listened to the TV up front in the living room. I listened to the water running in the bathroom when Warrick got in the shower. I listened to the silence in the house after he fell asleep in his room. I got up and turned the floor fan on in the corner of the room to have something to break the silence but it didn't help.

After another half an hour of a mental film of Anna memories playing through my head, I listened as I heard the early sounds of a thunderstorm beginning. After another low rumble of thunder, I heard the rain starting to softly hit the glass in the window. A moment later, another low rumble of thunder broke the rain's steady and relaxing rhythm. I got up to look out the window and saw that the once blue sky had turned a dark gray color. Beyond the glass of the window, the falling rain had turned the world outside into a blur. As I kept watch on the rain streaming down the outside of the window, a jagged bolt of lightning came down from a cloud to the east of Warrick's apartment. I stayed where I was, closing my eyes and listening to the sound of the rain hitting the shingles on the roof as I saw the flash of light from another bolt of lightning hitting closer this time, followed by a louder sound of thunder.

Even as the rain fell and the thunder sounded in the background, no matter what I heard or what I didn't hear, I couldn't get Anna out of my thoughts. I had yet to find any sound that would drown out the thoughts in my head. No matter how painful it was to me, I knew that I never wanted her out of my thoughts, either. I left the window and went to lie back in bed and once I got situated, I reached over and got my iPod from the drawer in the nightstand. I hit the play button after turning the settings to shuffle. The first couple songs were older songs that I liked but when the third one came on, it caught me by surprise.

As I listened to the lyrics of the first verse, I thought to myself that I never have bothered to stop and listen to the song at all until now. I had heard it on the radio plenty of times and Anna had it on her iPod playlist, but I never stopped and listened to the words until now. As the second verse started, I sat up in bed as the male singer started in on his portion of the song, 'Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door. Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before and I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time…'

"Anna, I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you." I let the rest of the song play on softly in the earphones as I went to stretch my back in bed. It wasn't until the ending of the chorus that I realized how badly I did miss her. Remembering the last portion of the chorus, I kept my voice low so Warrick wouldn't hear me chiming in with the singer, "Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now and I don't know how I can do without. I just need you now." The song finished and the next one came on, but my mind was too busy wandering as I thought of the one person on my mind who was always in my thoughts, even if she wasn't in my arms.

A/N: A little shorter than the last chapter and slightly more depressing but I felt it necessary. I found great inspiration in listening to the Renee Fleming CD that shares this chapter's title while I wrote this. More chapters are in the works. Reviews please?

And yes, I know the Lady A song at the end of this chapter wasn't released back then, but remember this is fiction and the song fits this chapter considering the events during the first part of the story.