Chapter 37

John still held some hesitation toward Billie's schooling. She was under the impression that it would be safe to quit attending school, and part of this was factual. She could cease attending and would have all the necessary components, however, the gesture seemed so extreme. It put all that Billie would be sacrificing into a new realm, it all clearly realized by John. It was as though she had started taking her cues from him, regarding their relationship in a confident and complete light just as he did. If they were to be together Billie would have to submit to a new life. There were countless things she could accomplish in her own time, but she would give that up for him. John simply did not value himself in the same light. A part of him would feel guilty- perhaps indefinitely.

"Pick me up tomorrow, Johnnie. I want to be with you," she had said. Billie seemed to like saying his name as much as he enjoyed hearing it. It also held a significant power over him, one he was sure Billie w as aware of and took innocent advantage of. The couple was sitting upon the living room couch, trying not to count the minutes until they were to be parted again. It seemed like Billie had already made up her mind. She would start devoting her time and attention solely to John. He had smiled and kissed her lips lightly. He would do that; he would do whatever she told him. He felt like a whimsical puppet under the young woman's power. It was laughable, but he was enjoying himself in love too much to care.

Ultimately, he couldn't be more pleased with her choices, all of which included him. There was still a downside, as almost every aspect of his life held, and that was the repercussions of such ultimate decisions. These choices would no longer leave the couple in seclusion. They could no longer hide, and they would effect most everyone's lives in some way. Audrey, who already knew of their relationship in some form, would...well, he wasn't sure what she would do, but there was no doubt that Billie's own mother would blow her top.

At this point in his life John was not settled. He may never be thanks to choosing a life of crime. He traveled, often, like a renegade vagabond. He was perpetually stir crazy and could never put too much evidence of his presence in any one spot. As he went Billie would go with him. It would be a new life for her and it would happen immediately.

With the plans set to have Billie with him the next day John began to tie up a few loose ends. He needed to clean out what remained of his belongings from Audrey's house. What had been his safe home now felt like a minefield. It wasn't at all long before his sister found him upstairs, digging through drawers. He knew the moment would come but he still wasn't sure of what he would say.

He could feel her presence there in the doorway, staring into his back with enough fire to make him burn under his collar. John turned around while folding a shirt and barely met her eyes. He went back to his work just as quick, silent, utterly stupefied by the position in which he found himself.

"What are you doing with that girl, John?"

Her voice scorched through the air, clear and unrelenting. There was no where to hide and no denying it. Audrey's tone portrayed her seriousness and disapproval. John sighed, turning to meet her eye.

"You don't have to like it. I didn't expect you to."

She frowned. "This isn't just about you, John! It concerns everyone. She's a little girl..." It was hard for her to keep her voice quiet and remain forceful. A look of anger darkened the mans face.

"Not to me," he hissed deeply.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing? Have you even thought about what could happen to you? John, what if she-"

"She's not going to," he cut her off, knowing exactly where his sisters worry was. "I couldn't even begin to make you understand," his hands rose and fell, he now too perturbed to concentrate on his previous task. What could he say to her? That he and Billie loved one another and that's all that mattered? He already knew the heat that statement would take.

How was Audrey to believe that her brother, a grown man, found love and comfort in her young daughters best friend? His nieces best friend. The man had a reputation but this was more than overboard. One of them had to be using the other and eventually, one of them would get hurt. Severely so. John could not partake in immature head-games. The risks that man took in life were unlike any others; sometimes they really were the difference between life and death. Audrey made her mind stretch to the memory she had of the two in question sitting together on the sofa. She recalled his face. His expression.

Audrey had to admit it was a look of honesty and happiness. The circumstances were just completely wrong. It was difficult but she tried to think of it all in a pure, unbiased way. Perhaps it wasn't such a stretch to imagine Billie having a girlish crush on John, and even that John would fancy her. It was possible, but not at all probable. Even if the two had found something in one another there was no way it could ever progress. Audrey watched her younger brother standing there in the room. She had always taken care of him, and he had always been ignorantly and romantically gullible. He lived a fantasy, or rather he carried out his life in ways only a handful of others could compare. Watching his face, the handsome color of his skin and eyes and set of his cheeks, she wondered how well she really knew her brother, if she had merely forgotten his capabilities.

"It would never work," she said finally, gently.

A bit of light briefly touched his face and he held up a finger to her. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong..."

Audrey didn't smile but she was touched by his easy confidence. John could do anything; he knew that and she knew that. One day, things could all could all come crashing down, but that was a day John never allowed into his conscious thoughts.