Chapter 38

The fuss Billie expected to be made over her when she returned home after days and disappearing unexpectedly was not at all what she imagined. Her mother met her in the hallway, sarcastically asking if she'd enjoyed her time away from home. There would be no more escapades like what had been occurring, she said. Her thoughts were that Billie had grown lazy and careless, likely by the influence of a male presence, and wouldn't even give second thoughts to that idea. She didn't care for it, nor was it at all important. What mattered was the Billie remember her family and put them first above all things. Mary was a single mother and needed all the help she could get from her children. She lived by their cooperation.

The woman's voice had been stern, as was natural, but there had been no yelling or serious threats. Billie took in these words easily, having expected them, but heeded them not. Her mind was on one thing and nothing would get in the way of that. She felt superior and more so with the notion that she knew John Dillinger's whereabouts than the fact that she was in a romantic relationship with him. Her mother had no idea, nor could she even imagine the life Billie was living, or rather, hiding. Due to this her lectures were completely irrelevant. She couldn't scold what she didn't know.

As far as Mary was concerned, the next day Billie woke at an early hour and walked her way to school. This, of course, was not what actually happened. She and John had planned another meeting, and the girl was carried away to his apartment once again.

One of the first things she noticed in his apartment were the things. There was more stuff, more personal effects than before. She became aware that John had left Audrey's house completely, or that his belongings had. This put her in a panicky kind of state but she knew not why. Perhaps it was the idea that he leaving the house was so easy he could surely do so again from that apartment. Billie did believe that he wouldn't do so without warning her first, but still the idea frightened her. He was preparing for something, but what she would quickly learn was that he was prepared for anything at any moment.

As they spent time together alone in the apartment things started to become strangely yet pleasantly ordinary. John would go about his daily routine and tasks, Billie able to fall in with him comfortably. Things between them felt natural- something Billie knew she would never find with another person in such a way. Already she cherished this comfort.

John showered and shaved, leaving the door to the bathroom open to converse with Billie as she sat in the living room, flipping through pages of Modern Screen magazine. Before getting into the shower John had explained finding it in the buildings lobby and admitted snatching it up because of Myrna Loy's picture on the cover. Billie had replied to this with a quiet smirk, but as she neared the article and more photographs of the woman she couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy. She studied the woman's face- the high and arched set of eyebrows and the small, sultry eyes. Unconsciously Billie's own eyebrows rose and she squinted her eyes in an imitation of the picture.

"Johnnie?"

He stood across the way in the bathroom, starring at his reflection in the mirror. "Yeah, doll?"

"Do you think I'm more beautiful than Myrna Loy?"

She heard him laugh. "Don't be silly."

"I'm not," she replied loudly, offended. "I'm being serious."

"Of course I think you're more beautiful, sweetheart."

Billie pouted as she flipped through the pages, unconvinced. "I mean it. If Myrna Loy were standing right here in some negligee you mean to tell me you'd choose me over her?"

"In a heartbeat."

She rolled her eyes lightly. Clearly she was not as confident in herself as John was, if he were even telling the truth. Billie had a strong desire to send him the same envious emotions she felt, thinking it would make her feel better. "Don't you want to know who I like?"

"Who's that, doll?" he played along, smiling, fitting his arms into the sleeves of a clean white dress shirt. He knew what she was doing, he being familiar with the ways of women. This would be a small little test for him but John took none of it seriously. He thought her jealousy was cute.

"Clark Gable."

"Clark Gable!" John exclaimed, shutting the bathroom door and making his way toward her. "I'm better looking than him."

"Is that what you think?" she teased him but she kept her voice serious. There was a small smile playing on her lips and she looked up, noticing John's presence close to her. The man smiled down at her, standing behind the back of the couch.

"I know so," he replied, leaning down to peck her lips. He was taking her lightheartedly but still Billie could not be mad. "I got somethin' for you," John announced, stepping away. Billie now sat up, curious and glad for the distraction. She swung her legs over the couch and placed her feet on the floor, tossing the magazine to the coffee table. On a second thought the girl reached out again and flipped the book over, Myrna Loy then facing the top of the table.

John was only gone seconds before returning, sitting on the sofa in front of her, a delighted expression on his face. His happiness drifted over to Billie, she then waiting anxiously. He grinned. "Close your eyes."

Billie eyed him suspiciously before obliging, her eyes shutting as she too smiled broadly. There was silence a moment before he gave her another instruction. "Give me your hand." Again she obeyed, reaching out hesitantly. She felt John's warm touch, delicately turning her palm upward. The next thing Billie was aware of was a small object in her hand. She kept her palm steady, listening as John allowed her to open her eyes.

Her heart skipped a beat. In her hand sat a small, satin box; a ring box. There could be no other object contained inside, and knowing that she was receiving a ring made Billie all kinds of anxious. Her first thought was that it was a special ring- an engagement ring. In the fantasies from her childhood up to the present day she always imagined this moment preceding a proposal. Now, as it stood before her, she was hopeful, hesitant, doubting and nervous. Her eyes went quickly to his. "J-John," she stammered. "Is...is this..."

He was smiling steadily, watching her under an intense gaze. "It's not an engagement ring," he told her gently. "...yet."

Billie still smiled, glancing to him twice before she placed her attention entirely on the little box. Excitedly but with steady hands Billie opened the lid, gasping, her eyes popping wider than John had ever seen. He watched her, satisfied, his dark gaze never leaving her face. What was revealed to Billie was the grandest, most beautiful, most expensive ring she had ever laid eyes on. It looked like something a movie star would wear, or even royalty. A huge round diamond, or what she assumed the stone to be, stood in the center of a square cut of dazzling sapphire. On the silver band were smaller glittering stones. The shape and style of the ring was unlike anything she could imagine, completely unique and stunning.

It almost looked like something conjured. She could not imagine it was real, let alone a few inches away, let alone hers. She was afraid to touch it. Her finger was not worthy of such expense, Billie sure that its value would deteriorate upon her touch. She tried to speak, knowing not what to say, she emitting a string of incomprehensible stutters.

"It reminded me of your eyes," John said softly. Billie looked up to him, he seeing her blue hues large and twinkling just like the jewel.

Her eyes had never been as special before he had appreciated them. Now, Billie herself seemed proud of this trait, if only for his benefit. It didn't matter what her eyes looked like, only that John found them beautiful, and it was clear he did. Overwhelmed she fought the urge to cry or laugh or squeal. Everything seemed unreal. "Put it on me," she said excitedly.

John's smile broadened as he reach out, taking hold of the delicate ring and nearing it to her outstretched hand. As he slipped the jewel on her finger, momentarily praising himself for choosing the right fit, he imagined the other rings he would slip on her finger in the future. The two of them gazed down, admiring. The width and size of the ring sat intimidatingly on her hand, making her fingers look extra slender. Billie leaned up a moment later, wrapping her arms around John's neck and kissing his lips forcefully. He let out a muffled breath from his nose, chuckling. His skin was smooth and soft, it only having been shaven moments before, and he smelled of rich aftershave. Delighted in these sensations Billie kissed all over his face.

Their happiness was contagious. John felt light with it. His arms hugged her waist, beyond satisfied that she was so happy. He'd bought the ring the day before, wanting to get her something special now that they were on new terms. She had found out about his identity, they had had their first and most important scuffle, and Billie was still with him. He felt like the luckiest man, overwhelmed with appreciation and love for her, knowing that no gift no matter how extravagant could express this properly. He worked his fingers into her hair, continuing to enjoy her reaction.

"Are you happy? Do you like it?" he asked when they parted slightly though he already knew the answers. Billie nodded, gazing down at the gift another time and smiling.

"I love it." Her fingers ran over the jewels, thinking. It was hard to comprehend the expense, she knowing it was worth more than she wanted to know. As if she had forgotten, Billie then remembered that John's money was almost unlimited. He could afford it. The dresses, flowers, dinners and now the jewelry all came from his business- his criminal enterprise. Suddenly her spirit dropped slightly, her voice coming out soft and hesitant. "Oh, but, you know I can't wear it..."

John frowned until it made sense. They were sill hiding themselves, their relationship, and seeing the ring on Billie's finger would have been a monumental give away. They looked at one another, understanding happening quietly. John became somber, wondering what would happen to the ring if she wouldn't have it. She was having the same thoughts and answered him at once. "I'll wear it on a necklace," she told him eagerly, touching his chest when the idea struck her. She tried to comfort him with a smile and it did work.

He then began to imagine her, out of his reach but holding the trinket. He didn't like that they still had to hide, and he didn't even like the idea of her being away from him. He sighed heavily, feeling the need to take action. "Billie," he said her name heavily, readjusting on the cushion. He held her hand lightly. "I wasn't lying when I said I needed you in my sight." She remained quiet, watching him with a small smile. "What d'you think about staying with me?"

She paused. There was really only one way to take his question and her heart sped up. "You mean...living with you? Here?"

"Yeah..." he smiled. Billie considered this but it wasn't for the first time. She had imagined life with him, side by side each day, almost every waking second. The more she spent time in his company, often there at the apartment, the idea seemed easy, fun, and just in reach. She nodded at him eagerly, answering affirmatively.

John asked her if she was sure, if she knew what being with him meant completely. Essentially, she was leaving her life now, the life in which she knew and thrived, and abandoning it forever. She would have to pack her things, and as few things as possible, and set out with him wherever that may be. Communication with everyone else, even with her own family, would be scarce if not cease completely. But, through all this, John would be at her side, loving and supporting her every moment.

That was all he could promise.

It may have been stupid, unwise and naïve, but she was willingly ready.

Billie leaned forward and embraced him again. She snuggled close, trying to build up her confidence and comfort within his hold. It didn't seam so hard to give up everything when in his arms. She sighed heavily and whispered, "I love you." It was sincere and sweet and Billie had never before said it to John. All along he had known it, he believed her feelings for him, but to hear it filled him with an indescribable feeling. He sighed into her, cradling the back of her head.

"You know what this mean, dontcha?" he said with a small smile to Billie's waiting eyes. "I get to plan another breakout."