(Finn's point of view)
Time flew. Well, maybe to me. Ever since Quinn decided to give the baby away, I shut down. I went on autopilot, answering questions, laughing at just the right time, and responding barely above what was expected. Before I knew it, Glee was over, and Summer had officially started, and that fast, Quinn's water broke. It was a good thing that my mom was with us. I almost passed out, and Quinn freaked. My mom was the only one calm enough to drive. My hands shook, and my palms got sweaty before we even got to the hospital.
I smirked recalling our reactions as I stood in the mirror to the men's room changing into my doctor's clothes. I think they're called scrubs? Anyway, they said that "it would take awhile" because even though her water broke, she had to go through labor. I sighed as 'You Keep on' by Travis Greene played on the intercom. I winced remembering Quinn. She shrieked as her contractions hit her one after another. I was starting to feel dizzy. I guess my mom sensed my discomfort because she rubbed my shoulder to calm me. I guess that explained why I almost ran when the hospital staff tossed me these scrubs, and pointed their finger down a dimly lit hall to the men's room.
I took a deep breath. My brain was swirling with "What if's" and questions that made me wonder about the future. Who would she look like? Would Shelby tell her about me? Could I visit her? My phone vibrated in my pocket, disrupting my thoughts.
It was Mr. Shue. He was in the waiting room with the Glee club. I texted him back and not a minute later, I heard a muffled voice call to me that "Ms. Fabray asked for Finn Hudson."
I gripped the sink, and stared at my reflection.
"I'll be right out!" I called.
After I heard his footsteps faded into the distance, I closed my eyes, and clasped both hands together.
"Jesus, if you exist, let my daughter come out safely, and let Quinn get through this night. Keep us strong for each other, and let our daughter be okay with Shelby." I asked barely above a whisper. The Goosebumps came, and left before I could even think about it.
"Amen." I didn't dare linger in the prayer any longer. I couldn't let myself daydream about the baby. I couldn't even imagine that she looked anything like me. I had to face it. In less than 24 hours, I was giving up my baby because I couldn't give her the future that she deserved the way that Shelby could. The tears threatened to mock me, but I refused to let them take me down. I had to do this. I had to. For the baby, for Quinn, and for me.
…..
"I SWEAR I'M NEVER GETTING PREGNANT AGAIN!" Quinn screamed. I swallowed. I squeezed her hand.
"AAAHHHHH!" Quinn whaled. No, she squeezed mine. I was starting to feel nauseous.
"You're doing great Quinn. Just keep pushing." I offered. I started sweating.
"SHUT UP FINN!"
"We need one more big push. You can do this." Someone said. At that moment, I decided that if I didn't close my eyes, I'd faint.
"Ready?" The nurse questioned. Quinn took a deep breath.
"1." The nurses took position.
"2." My palms were getting sweaty.
"3."
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Quinn and I screamed at the same time. You would've thought I was giving birth.
"It's a girl." They echoed.
I kissed Quinn's sweaty forehead. I didn't dare to look at our baby girl, because I knew that we were giving her up. Nothing I said or did could change the fact that we were kids trying to grow up too.
"Great job today Quinn. I'm going to let you rest." I said a little drained myself. I pulled the head cap off, and began to head out of the room.
"Finn?" Quinn called, barely above a whisper.
"Yes?" I asked, walking back over to her.
"I'm sorry." She offered. I gave her a half smile and a gentle squeeze of the hand. I'm sure we made the right decision to give up our baby.
"It's ok. We'll make it through this." I promised before I left. I couldn't let her see the tears in my eyes.
Even though in a week, we'd have our lives back, I couldn't say that I'd get my joy back. Not even the Summer Football training session at Ohio State could spark the life in me. I sighed.
It would be ok, because we had each other to lean on, I thought as my hands found my pockets. …
(Puck's point of view)
"You ok man?" I asked. It was time for Quinn to get discharged, and Finn was there 3 days later to pick her up.
"Yea man. I'm just tired." He offered lamely. For the first time since Quinn chose him over me, I actually felt bad for him. Not only did his life change these past few months, but he changed. I didn't need to see him cry in the locker room at school to know that giving up his 'baby' was affecting him. The guilt made it hard to swallow.
"Hey man, I'll text you." Finn said. I smirked. I wouldn't hold my breath, I thought. We did our man hug and I smiled at Quinn over his shoulder. She didn't dare meet my eyes.
As they piled into the car, I headed back into the hospital a little too eager for the days to come.
"I'd like to order a paternity test." I offered smugly.
…
After about 2 hours, the test told me what I already knew. I was the father of Quinn's baby. I asked myself: If I was in Finn's place, would I have walked away from the baby too?
"Noah Puckerman?" A sharp Filipino lady in a business suit called. I adjusted my scrubs as I followed her into a room where a nurse waited with the baby.
"Can I hold her?" I asked the nurse, almost forgetting what I came in here to do. She nodded.
"I'm sorry Mr. Puckerman. I just need your attention for about 15 minutes and then you can hold her." The nicely dressed lady responded before the nurse could give me the baby.
"You are aware that the mother signed for adoption, am I correct?"
"Yes."
"Fortunately for you, the biological father, you can raise her on your own." She paused.
"I assume that's why you are here."
"Yes." I said. I began to tap my leg.
"Ok, so I need you to sign here and here and then I'll take it from there." She explained. I skimmed and signed. She offered me a tight smile as she left with the papers in hand.
I didn't waste time. My heart pounded the way it did 3 months ago when I saved Sahil who was coughing that night. The nurse smiled gently as she gave me my baby.
I gasped as I gazed at my daughter. She was so beautiful. Like Quinn. She had her nose and her lips. I couldn't tell the hair because the hat covered that.
I began to rock her as I sung, 'Beth' by Kiss. That's it! Elizabeth Quinn Puckerman.
As if she knew that was her name, she opened her eyes. I froze. I recovered when the door swung open and in came the nice lady, whose name I failed to remember, with Shelby Coracon on her heels.
"Mr. Puckerman, meet Ms. Coracon." She gestured towards Shelby who looked at me evenly. I gave Beth back to the nurse.
"We've met." I said crossing my arms.
"She was the one who signed to adopt the baby."
"I figured." We stood there facing each other. Me looking at Shelby; Shelby focusing on Beth, and the lady switching her eyes between the two of us before she decided that she'd give us a minute to talk in private. The poor nurse made an excuse to leave.
Five minutes of silence turned into ten.
"How are you Shelby?" I started.
"Why are you doing this Puck?" She questioned.
"Why not? She's my responsibility and unlike her mother, I want to raise her!" I explained a little irritated that she asked.
"No! Unlike you, her mother thought about the child's future!" Shelby accused.
"How dare you." I said flatly. It was time to go. She stood there, unsure of what to do. I walked past her, and that's when she started to apologize. I ignored her. How could she say that to me? I have been planning this day since last year. My jaw got tense. My fists balled up on their own when it dawned on me that I couldn't fly off the handle anymore. I wasn't just a teenager who had raging hormones, I was a father now. If I gave them any reason to go forth with the adoption, I would never forgive myself. I turned to Shelby.
"Let's work something out." I said in a calm tone. She looked at me inquisitively.
"I work here most evenings and nights. How would you like to keep Beth in the night, and I pick her up in the day?" I asked.
Her nose twitched. I shifted my weight, preparing for what she was about to say.
"I have an even better idea." She said. Just before she got to the details, the nicely dressed lady caught my attention.
"Sir, I just need to know what the next step will be." She asked.
"We will have joint custody of Beth. She's going to need a mother figure." I said as Shelby's face lit up. She embraced me.
"Thank you, Noah." She whispered in my ear.
After we got things straightened out, I gave the hospital staff Beth's official name for the birth certificate.
"Do you have a car seat?" Shelby asked me.
"That was the first thing I bought." I said. At some point in time, everything became a blur. I don't really remember clocking out because all that was on my mind was that the next day I would wake up next to my princess. I sighed relieved.
"So, I'll let you know what I came up with tomorrow. Try to get some sleep." Shelby said.
I nodded, and then it hit me. Beth needs food. Formula. Shelby saw my reaction, and chuckled.
"Maybe you should spend the night with Beth for a week or so." She said. I readily agreed, feeling a lot more confident. I only wished it were Quinn.
(Quinn's point of view)
"Quinny, I'll be back. I'm going to go greet the new neighbors." My mom called from the front door.
"Okay." I said offering a smile.
She glanced at me a little longer than I expected before closing the door behind her.
I let out a breath I didn't know that I was holding. Only a week had passed since I gave her up, yet still things had not changed. I sighed. I couldn't mess this up. I had a life to get back to. One that didn't include raising a baby girl, I trailed off in thought. I bit back the tears. I needed a distraction. Desperate, I ran to the living room. Music was always my go to when I needed to be cheered up.
I set the radio in the living room to Mali Music's "Deep Blood Red." I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath as the guitar strumming took over. I lingered in the stillness. Then, slowly, I slid down the wall. I opened my eyes. Too drained to do anything, I found myself gazing through the window at the new neighbors across the street. The Hoover family, I believe it was, was unpacking when the teenage boy grabbed the doll from the little blond girl.
"Jake, give it back!" The little girl screamed as she chased him into the new house. She couldn't have been any more than 6 years old. I smirked as I saw the man, most likely the father, sigh and put a box down as he followed them into the house. Our window was halfway opened, so I easily heard the older man's voice echo his disapproval in the house. My eyes closed on their own accord, and all of a sudden, I imagined Puck strumming his guitar to this song, a spotlight resting on him. His shoulders arched some, but still comfy on a wooden stool. I heard Puck sing instead of Mali Music.
I don't want to blow things out of proportion
I don't want to cross the line drawn out in the sand
But to ignore this would be abortion
Of a feeling that we now both know is deep within
So in spite of embarrassment, of rejection
It didn't matter I could not be negligent or ignore
what I feel anymore
I pictured him holding eye contact with me, with the room disappearing around me. All of a sudden, the spotlight moved as he walked off the stage, approaching me. My scars, Beth, him, it was so raw, so deep, so real. I basked in the moment, until the picture shifted. I imagined him chasing Beth in our little yard. Knowing Puck, he would let her catch him in freeze tag one day, and then teach her how to punch a boy that looks at her too long the next day. I found myself smiling, and laughing at Puck. My shoulders relaxed some, and my breathing slowed. I missed Puck. I really did, but I couldn't run into his arms anymore. I cut him out of the picture only to steal Finn from Rachel, and patch up my mess. I lied to Finn. I cheated Puck out of the best thing in the world, and because of the guilt, Finn and I are not the same either. I took Beth from the both of them, and now they'd resent me. So focused on my rambling thoughts, I was taken off guard when I heard glass shatter across the street. I looked up.
The wife glanced over her shoulder, but continued talking to my mom about the neighborhood.
Not a second later, Jake ran outside with the doll in his hand, his sister hot on his tail.
Apparently, he set off the automatic sprinkler because it wet up his mother. Shocked, she screamed, interrupting my mom's sentence. The woman turned around abruptly.
What Jake did next shocked me. He threw the doll into the middle of the street. I didn't realize that I wasn't hiding behind the window in my house anymore until I noticed the warm sun hovering over me. It was that quickly that I was kneeling down in the middle of the road caressing the damaged blond doll. So absorbed in the metaphor, I clutched the doll to my chest. A single tear landed on the doll's face.
"Excuse me miss?" I heard a voice call.
I looked up to meet the most beautiful blue glassy eyes I've ever seen.
"Thank you for saving my doll." She said shyly. I smiled, tears reflecting behind my own eyes.
"You're welcome." My voice cracked. I cleared my throat, and stood up to my full height. We moved to the sidewalk near her house.
I handed her back the doll.
"I'm Quinn." I said with a gentle smile as I extended my hand.
She shifted the doll to shake my hand.
"I'm…
"Elizabeth!" Her father called. He ran from the house over to her, and embraced her so passionately.
"Honey, I'm so sorry. He was wrong for that." He said.
She hugged him back, and snuggled her head into the crook of his neck. I bit my lip remembering how it felt to be that close to Puck. Suddenly, the wind blew as if to comfort me. I smirked up to the sky.
"Quinn, you have a few more boxes in the truck." Mom called to me before returning to her conversation.
I snapped out of my daze. I nodded, and turned to go get the boxes when mom stopped me.
"Have you met the Hoovers?" She asked.
The father released Elizabeth from his hug, and turned his attention to me.
"No." I said turning around to face them.
"Mr and Mrs. Hoover, this is my daughter Quinn."
"Nice to meet you. Welcome to our block." We shook hands.
"The pleasure is ours." Mr. Hoover replied.
"Wonderful to meet you dear." Mrs. Hoover echoed.
Elizabeth starred at me quietly before turning to lean into her mother.
I excused myself to avoid the awkward silence that loomed in the air.
Now to unpack I thought while I replayed the look on Elizabeth's face when I gave her back her doll.
….
(Anonymous point of view)
FLASHBACK:
I hadn't been sleeping well lately because of all of those new aches and pains in my body. Most nights I was lucky if I got even seven hours. The doctors wanted to call it "arthritis," but I just thought it was a part of getting old. They figured that if I took a bunch of pills that the pain would go away. I doubted it. I doubted them. This wasn't the first time that I went to the doctors and they couldn't help me. I didn't blame them either. At least not when my health insurance rates stayed the same. I sighed when my ringtone cut the silence. I pulled back the covers, and swung my legs off the side of the bed. I grabbed it from off of my nightstand. Noah was calling. I sighed.
"Hello?" I said. I covered the phone to yawn.
"Ma?" I gulped.
He sounded like a boy. Noah never sounded so scared, not when I told him that our house was in foreclosure, not even when I told him that his father had left us.
"What's wrong papa?" I bit my tongue as soon as his boy nickname slipped out. I was sure to get a lecture later that he was almost legal and that I should treat him like a man. His reaction made me worry even more. He didn't get mad. He didn't even correct me. He sighed. Or was it me who sighed?
"I don't know where to start."
"Start from the beginning." I gently pushed. He went quiet for a while. I held the phone to my ears, listening to his heavy breathing. I grabbed my slippers, threw on my robe and took the steps two at a time. I made my way to the kitchen to boil a pot of water. The oven said it was 8:12PM.
"Finn isn't the father of Quinn's baby. I am." My jaw dropped. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. I thought Quinn was his crush. I thought Finn was her boyfriend. Gradually, my grip on the phone tightened to the point where I was increased the volume at the sides. He lied to me. My anger threatened to spill over, but I couldn't loose him again. I had to make a choice.
"Noah. Why didn't you tell me?" Hurt ran through my voice.
"I didn't want to disappoint you again." He admitted. I smiled a sad half smile.
"Noah honey, I couldn't be any happier to have a son so brave like you." I said honestly. He was always a big help with his sister when his father left us. I used to joke with my co-workers that my son was my rock, and for the most part, I meant it. I pulled myself out of that depression because I knew I had to show him that he was worth someone's time. I had to teach him how a man was supposed to act.
END FLASHBACK
I smiled down at my granddaughter as I reflected on that night. I was sitting in Noah's old rocking chair feeding her, when she dozed off to sleep. She was so precious: Elizabeth Quinn Puckerman. I kissed her on her forehead, when the door cracked.
Noah peeked into the dark room.
"Is she sleeping?"
"Yes." I replied. He stood as if he was debating whether or not he should hold her.
"I'll let her sleep." He decided. I chuckled, and stood up with Beth. Noah quietly followed us to his room where I put Beth in her crib. Within a few hours she'd be awake again.
"How was shift tonight?" I asked.
"Fine." He replied, turning away from me. He paused.
"Sahil is getting better." He said eagerly. He took off his watch, and turned to see my expression.
"That's great to hear son." I said carefully.
Almost like he sensed my discomfort, he stopped moving.
"What's on your mind ma?" He asked without looking at me.
"Noah, I just wanted you to think about your plan after you graduate high school." I admitted. He sighed. I thought he'd never respond, so I got up to leave when he called out
"I don't know where to start" from over his shoulder. I stopped in his doorway, and turned to him.
"Whatever you choose, you will make me smile Noah. I know you will." I said as I shut his room door.