My Way is Clear

by Simply Ginger

Nick meets a paramedic after getting injured at a crime scene. In an AU, this is their story. This is not a slash and all the characters from CSI show up eventually.

40. Help Me Hold On

I hope I don't confuse anyone with my style of writing. I'll show the events through one character's POV then switch to a second, then a third. It may be Anna first, then Catherine and finally Nick, but it'll be one character seeing it, then another and so on. It's the only way I felt I could tell Nick's rescue properly and have it referenced in later chapters as Nick deals with the aftermath. Nick couldn't know what Anna saw while he was being rescued just as Anna couldn't experience what it was to be with Nick inside that box. Plus you know Nick's gonna have a lot of questions in later chapters that Anna won't be able to answer by herself without the added details.

As always, POV character is bolded.

Chapter 40 – Help Me Hold On

Nick

"Enough." I was sweating from the heat and humidity inside the box. The little fan to my right barely moved any air and I knew that its only purpose was to keep me alive for a finite amount of time. It wasn't meant to keep me cool and the bright spotlight at the end of the box wasn't helping either, "Enough with the damn light."

Every time that light comes on, the fan quits running.

"The fan's connected." Finally my brain clicked and it was making sense, "The fan's connected to the light."

I was suffocating with every tick of my watch and whoever kept turning that light on was pissing me off. Not knowing if it was the kidnapper playing mind games with me or what, I reached down to my side and felt of my gun. He left it in here for me to kill myself, but I had other ideas.

I chewed on a stick of gum to get it pliable enough to stick in my ears and after racking the slide of my gun back to get a bullet in the chamber, I took aim at the light and fired. Even with the gum shoved in my ears, the sound was so loud. "Ha!" I started to laugh as I broke open a glow stick and it cast the box in a green hue. When the fan started to run again, I turned my face toward the fan, relishing the wave of fresh air, "Thank God."

With the cool air blowing on my sweaty face, my mind began to wander again.

"Um, hi. Hello."

"Hello to you, too." She started to smile.

I realized then she was waiting on me to tell her what I wanted, "I um...I need help."

"Don't we all?" She reached in her pocket for a pen and got a clipboard out of the back of the ambulance and started filling out a run report.

"What's wrong?" A man dressed in a uniform the same as hers approached the ambulance and took the clipboard out of her hands. "CSI Man needs help. How can I help you? Inhale too much fingerprint powder? Latex allergy?"

"I got this." She shot him a look as she snatched the clipboard back.

"Bryan." I remembered the first time I met Anna, "Do you think we would have gotten together if Bryan would have treated me that day? Fate I think had something to do with it. Either that, or it was just pure dumb luck." I closed my eyes and sighed, remembering more of that day.

"Okay. Let's see how banged up you really are. Look at me, please." She flashed a pen light in front of me, "Any dizziness? Headaches? Nausea?" I shook my head and she continued. "Blurred vision? Loss of consciousness? Do you know what day it is?"

"No, no, no, no, not that I'm aware of and Thursday."

"Oh god." I felt like throwing up, "What I wouldn't give to be out of here and with you right now."

In between memories of Anna and my childhood, I heard what I thought was scratching on top of the box, "Grissom?" The noises continued, "Warrick!" I started to pound on the lid of the box, "I'm in here!" When the noises didn't stop, I started singing the song on the radio from earlier, "It was Christmas in Las Vegas when the locals take the town. Theresa hit a streak and laid her waitress apron down." I shook the glow stick to give myself more light, "Grissom! Anna! Warrick! Anyone!"

The noise slowed down and I felt something falling on me, "Oh shit." Moving the glow stick to where I could see what it was, I watched as the box was cracking and creaking, "God damn it, no."

More dirt poured in from the cracks at my feet. I was trapped and the box was about to cave in on me, "Please, no." My pleas didn't stop the dirt from falling through the weakened sides of the box. When I shot out that light, I cracked the walls and because of my stupidity, I was about to die.

When the creaking finally stopped, the box was cracked on the sides, weakening the structure. Holding my breath, I started to pray that the box would hold up. I didn't know how far down I was, but I knew if the walls of the box collapsed, I'd die.

I picked up the tape recorder and flipped the tape over to the other side and hit record, "My name is Nick Stokes. If anybody finds this tape, turn it in to the Las Vegas PD. There should be a reward."

I swallowed hard, knowing what I was about to say, "Mom…"

My voice started to crack and I stopped the tape. I didn't want to say goodbye to my parents but I had to. This would be the last thing they'd ever hear from me and I wanted it to count. I had so much to say but my mind wouldn't work right.

Finally, I hit the button on the tape recorder and started again, "Mom, Cisco, well, this is a lousy way to say goodbye, but it's all I've got. I love you. You raised me right and I'm going to miss you." I felt a sob working its way up my body but choked it back so I could finish, "As for the rest of you guys, I know you did the best you could to find me. I'll miss you, too. Grissom, you've been the best supervisor I've ever had and I'm so sorry to have disappointed you. I want you to know how much you mean to me and I am forever thankful for what you've done for me." I let the tape recorder fall to my chest when the sob escaped my body. I knew who I had to say goodbye to next and this was about to be a lot harder to do than my parents and co-workers. I had to say goodbye to my wife and I wished I spoke enough French to have my goodbye to her where only she would understand it, but my French was about as bad as my Spanish, "Anna. My sweet Anna. Je suis desolee. I am so sorry."

I hit the pause button on the recorder to compose myself before I continued. When I finally found my voice again, I started the tape recorder once more, "How lucky I am to have someone who makes saying goodbye so hard. I love you. I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you and marrying you was the best decision I ever made and not for once do I ever regret it. I will never forgive myself for what I'm putting you through and the aftermath of it. No matter what, never forget how much you mean to me and know that I'll miss you for the rest of eternity. When our baby is born, hold him tightly. Tell him you love him and tell him that his father wishes he could be with both of you every day of your lives. I love you both so much and I am so sorry, so very sorry I won't be there for you both but please know I'll look in on you from time to time. Anna, please be happy in life. I know that right now, you won't be able to, but for me, please. Try to be. If finding someone else makes you happy, then please, find someone else. Just don't quit on me. Our baby needs you. You're all he's got left."

I let the tape recorder fall to the bottom of the box as I cried. "Damn it." I looked down at my feet when I felt something stinging. Screaming out in pain, I started to thrash around, "God help me." The pain was burning. It was excruciating and the more I moved, the worse it became, "Damn!"

Pain was the only thing I could feel and the only thing I could concentrate on. This wasn't pain like I fell and scraped some skin off my knees or had a headache. This pain was deeper. It was inside of me and rushing through my body. It was a burning pain that made me wish for anything to make it stop, including death. I remembered the gun that was under my hip. Picking it up, the handle was covered in fire ants. The ants continued to bite and sting me as I gripped it. They were willing me to end my life, not knowing exactly how close I was to that moment.

I started to struggle in the box with my pants legs covered with fire ants as they continued to make their way in with me. Unrelenting, I screamed in pain as they bit me, over and over again. I was trapped. I couldn't escape from the pain and thrashing around made it worse.

I started to panic wondering what to do when I thought about an entomology conference with Grissom a few years back. We had a case that involved a man with Down's syndrome being eaten by ants. After that case, Grissom wanted to study the effects of ants on a human corpse and found a conference that went over findings. As I dug in my pocket, I found a rubber glove and tore off pieces of it. Keeping my eyes shut, I stopped moving, hoping the ants would quit biting. Shoving the pieces of latex up my nose, that would at least keep them out of there. With my eyes shut, they couldn't get to my eyes, but they could sting my face. Lying completely still, the bites lessened, but only slightly. As hard as it was, I remained still and prayed someone would find me quickly.

I did not want to die. Not yet and not like this.

Catherine

Gil and I continued to watch the monitor. Nick was recording something, but not being able to lip read, I didn't know what it was. Gil made a comment about not being disappointed but when I questioned him, he didn't say anything. Suddenly, Nick looked down at his feet and he started to scream. I started to panic, "He's losing it! Nick!" We watched as he dropped the tape recorder and it fell near his head while he continued to look at his feet.

Sara and Archie were behind us, watching in horror, "Nick! Grissom, Nick's going into convulsions." We watched as Nick continued to scream, "He's losing it." Sara turned and looked back at Grissom but he continued to stare at the monitor. Nick looked like he was full mode panic, "W…What's going on?"

I looked over at Gil who was just as puzzled as we were, "What is…" I could tell as he stared at the monitor, he saw something. "Wait a minute." He enhanced the view on the feed as he zoomed in on the wall near Nick's head. "Ants." I looked to where he was pointing, "Ants are on the side of the glass coffin."

It hit me. Nick wasn't panicking. He's screaming. I felt like I wanted to throw up. Looking around to make sure Anna wasn't nearby, I shut my eyes, "My God."

Gil echoed my sentiments, "My God. He's being eaten alive."

I couldn't take it. I left Gil where he was and took Greg and Sara back to the garage to work on the Plexiglas coffin again. After checking on Anna, she was still in Mandy's office with Nick's parents and Bryan. I decided against telling them what was going on. Anna hadn't mentioned having another contraction, but with Bryan and Nick's parents there, something was telling me she was keeping quiet about them in order to stay close to us. Her stress level was already elevated and telling her that her husband was being eaten alive by fire ants wouldn't help. The officers were still in front of the door and I told them both not to let Anna out of their sight and for damn sure to keep her away from the live feed.

Attempting to keep my mind off Nick and the ants, I got to work on the box we found at the barn. Greg slid underneath it as Warrick and Hodges came in. I wasn't paying them any attention as I slowly walked around it, "This has got to be a prototype. It was probably built to test how long he could keep somebody alive inside. That would explain the dead dog and the dog entrails from earlier. He put the dog in the box, killed it and when he died, he pulled out the intestines to use to kidnap Nick."

Greg was under the coffin and swabbed a circular pressure indention on the bottom. Hodges leaned forward, peering at Greg through the top of the box, "Now, what are those?"

"I don't know." Greg slid the swab into the cardboard box it came with, "But you're gonna find out."

Hodges took the swab and stood up, "On it."

Warrick was using a calculator to figure something while he stared at the battery from the prototype coffin, "Alright, based on this battery and what's running off of it, and the fact that we kept the damn light on for as long as we did, I figure Nick's got another ninety minutes left." Greg and I remained quiet as Warrick set his watch to countdown for the next ninety minutes. All of us knew that the odds were not in our favor or Nick's but we couldn't give up. We all knew if Nick were here and one of us was in his place, he'd be working as hard if not harder than we were to find out where his buried counterpart was.

I told them I was going back to tell Gil what we found and for them to keep working. He was still in the office, with his eyes glued to the monitor. He was keeping an eye on the feeds and kept watching as ants walk quickly past the lens. "Oh, come on, pal." Another ant barely walked over the lens, but not much, "Yeah. That's it." He continued to watch the monitor as more ants walked in front of the lens, "Come on. Little more."

Sara had come into the office and was standing beside me as we watched, "Keep coming. Show me what you're made of. Come on, buddy." Almost as if it was teasing us, the ant danced across the edge and finally, it landed dead center on the lens. Gil hit the print screen button on the keyboard to make a screen shot, "Gotcha!" He immediately printed the photo off and looked pleased, "It's about time."

With the photo in his hand, Gil left us in the room and started to rush back to his office. I followed him and watched as he went to his library of bug books and pulled down large book off of one of the shelves. I saw from the title it was an entomology text and he started to flip through the pages. Picking up the printout of the picture to a drawing in the book, he looked relieved, "Solenopsis invicta."

"I don't have time to listen to you spew Latin at me." Nick was running out of time and we had to find him and Gil trying to show off his bug intelligence was wearing thin on my nerves, "And in English, what in the hell is that?"

"Break room with the rest of the team." He got up and left, headed back to the room we were in earlier. Everyone was still in their original positions and they were still watching Nick. Gil threw the book down on the desk and put the picture he printed off right next to it, "They're fire ants, very rare in Nevada. They don't like our soil. The only places you find them around Vegas are in plant and tree nurseries."

I hit a few buttons on another computer in the office and pulled up a listing of nurseries in the area, "According to this, there are eleven nurseries in the greater Las Vegas area."

Archie pulled up a map of Las Vegas and laid it out on the table, "Okay, I've got the web cam trace down to here." He drew a large circle in black ink on the map, "How many are in here?"

Greg picked up another marker, "And the data from the black box in Walter Gordon's truck gave us a twenty three mile travel radius." He drew another circle from the point where the barn was where Gil and I met him at and when he did, he cut the area down by half. Slowly but surely, we were narrowing it down. For the first time tonight, I had a small glimmer of hope.

"Okay." Warrick got the printout of the list of nurseries off the printer, "I've got two nurseries within the overlap area." He put two x marks on the sheet, "Here and here."

"Wait, wait. Wait, wait." Sara stared at both of the x marks on the map, "Kelly Gordon, the daughter of Walter Gordon, worked with plants. Hold on. Hold on." She ran out of the lab and down the hallway before coming back with a file folder, "You guys, Nick is here." She pointed to the left most blue x on the map. "Kelly Gordon worked here at this nursery."

"That's it." I threw everything down on the desk and started out the door. "We've got him. I'll go tell Anna. Everyone else, go!"

Anna

"Anna, stay here." Catherine moved toward the door as she pushed her phone into her pocket, "We may know where Nick is. The guy that blew himself up? His daughter is in prison and it's a case that day shift worked a few years back. The daughter worked at a plant and tree nursery."

With that, she turned and left, leaving me in the room, "Catherine!" She didn't hear me. I knew Bryan still had his department issued radio on him and with the earpiece in his ear, he had been listening in on radio traffic, but I couldn't hear what was being said, "Bryan." I pleaded, "Take me to him. I know you know where they're going and if you don't find out, I'll call dispatch myself."

"Aggie, no." He held on to me, "You need to stay here with me or go to the hospital to get checked out. Your choice."

"Fine." When Bryan sat down, I ran out of the room and heard him cuss me when I left. With me not being able to run fast, he caught up to me easily, "Bryan, please. I'm begging you. Just take me to where he is. I don't want to help. I just want to be close by because if there's a more hopeless feeling of trying to reach someone who is trapped underground, I don't know what it is. Please. Help me."

As Bryan stared at me, mentally debating what to do, he took me by the arm, "What about Nick's parents?"

"They're in with Ecklie and that asshat undersheriff guy. They're debating on another press conference and I don't want to be a part of that. Please." He still wouldn't move, "What if it were you asking me to help. You know I would."

"Guilt. Good move." Bryan was torn, "Aggie, really…"

"Bryan, please."

He finally relented, "Come on. I know I'm gonna regret this, but come on. When they find Nick, I'm taking you to the hospital to get checked out. I can tell by the grimace on your face every thirty minutes or so that your labor has not stopped even though you're lying to everyone else."

"Fine."

Quietly leading me out of the lab and out of the way of Ecklie and mom and dad, we got outside and after one quick glance around, he helped me into his truck and we left the lab.

"So help me, Aggs, you are to stay back. Got it? Stay in the truck."

"Fine. In the truck." I lied. I knew I'd get out as soon as we got there. I wanted to help. Bryan was quick, but he wasn't that quick.

I began to nervously bounce my foot against the floor mat in Bryan's truck. One highway gave way to another until we were at the nursery. The flashing red and blue lights of the LVPD cars lined one side of the road in to the nursery while the CSI vehicles were on the opposite side. Bryan pulled in behind one of the LVPD cars, just off of the highway and again told me to stay put. He rolled the window down and asked if they needed any help but was told to sit with me after Captain Brass shot him a dirty look for bringing me to the scene.

I watched as the people out here fanned out through the nursery. With all the trees and shrubs, I knew that finding Nick would be a needle in haystack. My foot bouncing became even more as a pain in my stomach hit. I gasped when it did and Bryan heard me, "Aggs?"

"Nothing." I lied, "It's nothing. I'm fine." I knew it was a contraction but didn't say anything and hadn't said much after someone called 911 earlier, even though I was still having contractions. If I did admit to what he already knew, Bryan would drive me straight to the hospital. It was going against everything we were both taught in paramedic school for me to be here, but right now, I had to be close to any information I could get to Nick. They just didn't understand I'd be a nervous wreck at the hospital and in some strange way, this helped me.

"You are not fine." He picked up my wrist to take my pulse, "Your pulse is up. Any dizziness? Nausea?"

"What the hell do you think? I'm pregnant and my husband is buried alive."

"Stupid question."

He kept hold of my hand as we watched. A few LVPD officers ran by the truck and headed north into the trees into the nursery. One of them turned to a group of Clark County Sheriffs Deputies coming up behind Bryan's truck, "We found him!"

"What?" I strained, trying to see what was going on, but I couldn't. The cars in front of us kept me from seeing what they were talking about. After making sure Bryan was distracted, I opened the door to his truck and got out and started to run, following the LVPD officers who were a few yards in front of me.

I was already at the tree line about forty feet away when Bryan caught me. Catherine was on her knees and was digging with her hands. Grissom, Warrick and Greg were next to her and they were also digging with shovels. I tried to move closer, but was I struggling hold myself up and tried to breathe deeply, but it was as though my lungs just wouldn't keep the air in. I gave up and fell to the ground. It was cold and hard under my hands, damp with the dew of the late night. My entire stomach was burning with pain, but it all narrowed down to one white hot point with the contractions which were stronger than before.

I couldn't move. People were rushing by me but I couldn't move. Someone's arm slid around my shoulders and another arm under my knees, and I was vaguely aware of being moved away from the commotion around where they thought Nick was buried. When I started to focus, I knew that it was Bryan behind me when he picked me up but hadn't a clue who was at my feet. My senses were finely tuned towards the spot where Catherine, Greg, Grissom and Warrick were and I didn't dare to take my eyes off of the mound of dirt.

I leaned my head against Bryan, feeling as though each of my limbs were made of lead. I don't know how far I was taken, but suddenly I was down again. Another set of arms supported my shoulders, and I tried to see clearly while someone else tried to get Bryan to move me back. I started to struggle and I heard him tell them to leave us alone. His voice was foggy. I couldn't understand why knowing he was inches behind me, but with my concentration on Nick, nothing else mattered.

I stood up, determined to get to Nick even though the noise in the background was fading slowly. The shouting was becoming quiet; the movement of the LVPD officers and everything around me was becoming blurry.

Bryan

"Aggie!" Barely having enough time to catch her before she fell, I managed to put my arms under hers. She was sobbing to the point of not being able to breathe, "Aggs." I struggled to keep her from slipping out of my grip. Rather than having her fall, I knelt down on the ground but kept a tight grip on her arms. Aggie was still hyperventilating. I yelled at one of the medics behind me to bring a tank of oxygen over with a mask to try to help her calm down. I didn't want to have to sedate her, but if she didn't calm down, she'd do more harm than good to her body and to the baby.

"Oh, God." Aggie doubled over and started shaking, "Bryan…"

"What?" I tried to pull her back to me, but she stayed doubled over, "What is it?"

"Contra…" I felt her body tense up under mine as her fingernails dug into the skin on my forearms, "It's a contraction."

Great. I knew she was lying all night long about her contractions stopping, but now I had proof, "Calm down. I know I'm telling you something you already know, but calm down. You've got to get to the hospital. Has your water broken yet?" She said no as I succeeded in pulling her up towards me and managed to stay on the ground with her. As we watched the police and rescue squad digging at the ground, Warrick yelled that they had him.

"I'm coming." Aggie tried to get up, but I held her back, "Let go of me!"

Still struggling, she managed to get up and started towards the hole. I got my hand around one of her wrists and pulled her back. When she saw that I was holding on to her, she reached around and her fist met my cheek, "LET ME GO!"

It took me a moment to realize that she hit me. My jaw wasn't broken, but Aggie had some force behind her blow. Shaking that off, I had to keep her away from the digging. She was crawling towards where her husband was and I reached and grabbed her left ankle and pulled. I didn't want to take a chance on having an allergic reaction to red ants while pregnant. I pulled her back towards me, but this time got both of my wrists around her hand and yanked hard, "You have to stay back. The red ants…"

She interrupted me, "I don't give a damn. I want to see my husband." Aggie doubled over again and collapsed to the ground, "Ohhhh…no….Bryan!"

"Get a fire extinguisher!"

I looked up to see who was shouting but instead, saw a uniformed officer run by us with one of the other CSIs right on his heels. "Aggie, breathe. You've got to calm down." I managed to pull her back another five feet or so away from the hole. I could tell from where we were that the people doing the digging were swatting at the ants as they dug. "You've got to stay back with me. They're going to get him out." I moved around to where I was sitting in front of her, "You trust me, right?" In between her sobs, she said she did, "Then you've got to trust me here. You can't go to Nick. I know you want to but you have got to stay back here with me. You're having contractions now as it is and though I'm not a doctor, the stress from the ant bites would be more than your body can handle. We have to go to the hospital now. Come on."

"Bryan, I…" Aggie started crying harder. The CSI and the uniformed officer ran by us once again with two more fire extinguishers. "Please, just until I see him…"

I sighed. If I was in her position and that was Cathy under ground, I'd want some sort of confirmation she was alive before I left. I knew it was wrong. I am a trained medical professional and I was going against everything I had ever been taught by not forcing Aggie to go to the hospital, but given her circumstances and the fact they were digging quickly, Nick would be out in less than a few minutes and I'd force Aggs to go with me to Desert Palms or I'd sedate her.

From our position, we watched as Catherine tossed her shovel on the ground as Grissom climbed into the box. Catherine's phone rang and in an instant, the mood of the situation changed, "Wha…" I kept my hold on Aggie to keep her down and watched as Catherine leaned over to the hole to say something.

"Nicky!" Aggie started screaming, "Nick!"

Someone ran by us and a moment later, came back leading a backhoe that was full of dirt, "Dump it now!" Grissom motioned towards the hole, "He's ready!"

I picked Aggie up and held her out of the way and watched as they dumped the dirt on the hole and in one motion, pulled Nick up with it but as soon as they did that, an explosion shook everything. "Oh shit…"

Aggie didn't hear what I had said, "Nick!" She started screaming for him even more, "Nicky!" When she started to struggle with me again, I kept my grip on her shoulders as we watched, "Jesus, no. Please, no." Her hands went to her middle before she fell to her knees again. With one hand on her stomach, she knelt over and put her left hand on the ground and started to cry, "No, no. Please, no."

"He's alive!"

Two more paramedics behind me rushed by us and bent down on the ground next to Nick. I couldn't see well from where I was, but he was on his stomach with his face planted in the dirt. He looked awful and was covered in bug bites. "Epi and oxygen now. We've got to go."

"Nicky!" Aggie continued screaming as she sat on the ground, unable to move, "Please, Nicky!"

After hearing her screaming, he finally looked over her way as I kept my hold on her to keep her from moving closer. The fire extinguishers had killed the fire ants in the box, but the fire ants in the dirt that was dug up were still a threat.

Nick

The lights were bright and I was cold. Still paralyzed, I recognized the room as being in the morgue, but the view was off. It took me a moment to realize I was in the cooler and was lying down. Jesus, I was dead. "Well, this sucks."

"It's a damn shame they didn't get to him sooner." Doc Robbins was now in my line of sight, "Sure will miss him."

Super Dave was next to Doc Robbins. Both of them looked grim, "I sure will miss him. He was the one who gave me the name Super Dave."

Doc Robbins picked up one of my arms to show his assistant, who now appeared in a Superman costume, "You know, David, I've seen fire ant bites in my time, but never anything like this."

"Do you think he suffered?" Super Dave picked up my other arm, "These look bad."

"Do I think he suffered? Yes. Definitely." Doc Robbins dropped my arm, "What a horrible death."

My eyes flew open and the instant they did, ants swarmed and started to bite. I shut my eyes tightly and hissed at the pain. I started to feel lightheaded and my pulse was racing, no doubt from the ant venom.

The morgue was now in black and white. Super Dave and Doc Robbins were standing over me and they were laughing hysterically at me. "He's naked."

"David." Doc Robbins lifted the sheet, "I do believe you're right!" He started laughing again, "On to the autopsy. Did you find anything?"

Super Dave shook his head, "No signs of sexual trauma." Both of them started laughing again, "Pretty said since he was married and all."

Finally, the two of them controlled their emotions enough to stop laughing as Doc Robbins moves toward something I couldn't see, "Alright. On three."

"Uno." I couldn't see what Super Dave was counting.

Doc Robbins held up two fingers, "Dos."

"Tres!" With both of them saying that in unison, Doc Robbins hit something and the song I heard in the truck on my way to the scene started playing while they both sang along.

'It was Christmas in Las Vegas when the locals take the town…'

Doc Robbins handed Super Dave a scalpel, "Would you care to do the 'Y' incision?" He handed the scalpel right across the table where I could see it.

"Well, 'Y' not?" Still in his Superman costume, he dissolved into a fit of laughter as he took what was now a large butcher knife in his hands. He turned and sank the knife into deep into my chest, but it didn't hurt. When he moved the knife around, I heard the sound of flesh being cut but I didn't flinch. I couldn't. I was still dead, but my eyes were open. I was watching everything. I moved my eyes around, hoping to get my attention, but Super Dave kept on happily cutting without even noticing.

He put the large knife aside as Doc Robbins peeled the flesh over the left side my chest open then he peeled back the flesh over the right side of my chest. My eyes were still open. I know they were and I tried once again to get someone's attention, but failed miserably. I couldn't speak and I couldn't move. I couldn't call for help to let them know I wasn't dead.

I was paralyzed as I saw Doc Robbins hand Super Dave a chain saw. He in turn handed Doc Robbins a face mask as he wielded the huge chain saw over my chest and started cutting, sending blood flying everywhere. I still couldn't move and was forced to watch horrified by what I was seeing. I blinked as blood spattered on my chest from the chainsaw, absolutely disgusted by what they were doing to me. I thought they were my friends, but apparently not.

Finally, after having sufficiently covered much of their clothing and everything else in the morgue with a thick layer of my blood and mulched flesh, Doc Robbins put the chain saw aside and removed his face protection, looking pleased at the cut that was just made in my chest, "Yes." He reached in and cracked open my ribs, removing a portion of them with a grunt. After holding it up and showing Super Dave, he carelessly threw it over his shoulder and it hit the floor with a thump.

"He won't need this anymore." I watch as some organ was passed across the table in front of me and Super Dave took it before Doc Robbins reached in and started pulling out my intestines like one very long sausage, "Nice." He threw the organ on the floor and moved on to something else, "Healthy lungs."

My dad and Anna appeared in the morgue, "So, Doctor. How did my son die? Anaphylactic shock?"

Doc Robbins laughed, "No, no, he didn't live long enough for that. COD was asphyxiation."

"Bummer. That totally sucks."

"When the blood oxygen drops to less than 16% and the CO2 builds up, there's a rapid loss of consciousness. Death within minutes with no disfiguring physical findings."

Anna looked pleased, "He looks just like my Nick, minus the ant bites."

My dad looked pleased, "He'll look great at the funeral as long as you can stitch him back up."

Doc Robbins reappeared with a huge sewing needle, "Oh, yes. That won't be a problem."

"His mother will appreciate that."

"Good." Doc Robbins reached into my chest and pulled out my heart, which was still beating, "Your son had a good heart." He handed my heart over to my father who just stared at it.

"That's the reason I married him." Anna took my heart from my father before turning around throwing it into a biohazard bin by the door, making a clean shot, "His heart."

My eyes flew open again, sending the ants back in. Swatting at them did no good. I felt the fire burning down my arm as I moved.

I started to gasp for air. I could feel my heart beating heavily in my chest. I thought to myself that this must be how it ends. I'll die alone in a box, covered in ants and I'll never see Anna again.

Everything was bright. The sun was shining. I couldn't figure out where I was and the crowd of people in front of me offered no clue. The closer I got, I realized I was in a cemetery and it was a funeral. I looked down and saw I wasn't even dressed. Bare assed, I made my way towards the mourners and recognized the forms of my co-workers and family.

But who died?

My grandparents had been dead for some time now. Anna still had her grandmother living and she was really the only one of her family she still kept in contact with but why in the hell was I naked?

Almost on cue, the minister took his stand at the podium and cleared his throat, "We're gathered here today to celebrate the life and times of Nicholas Parker Stokes."

"Well damn." I was dead and this was my funeral. I screamed but no one turned around, "I'm not dead!" I suddenly had clothes on and ran to the front of the group of people and started waving my hands, "I'm right here!"

They ignored me. Anna, my parents and sisters plus Tyler were seated in the front row. Anna was in all black and had a handkerchief in her hands. Mom was sitting to her right and when Anna started to sob so hard she couldn't breathe, my mother put her arm around my sweet Anna, "Anna?" I tried to touch her and my hand went right through her body. Horrified, I recoiled and took a step back, "Anna? Please." I tried to pick up something to throw at her, but grasping at a fallen pinecone yielded the same results. "Jesus, can't anyone hear me? I'm right here!"

No one heard me, but the wind picked up just as the minister continued, "A wonderful man. A loving son. A dedicated husband. It's just a shame he couldn't stay around long enough to see his own child born. How selfish." The minister looked down at something and I recognized him from a church I attended in junior high school. "What else needs to be said?"

My funeral. I was dead. Like in the morgue, I tried to get someone's attention, but I couldn't. I was invisible. I had tried yelling. I had tried getting their attention but couldn't. I tried knocking over plants and some flowers to the right of the minister, but nothing. My hand went right through them. The leaves on the potted plant sitting on top of my casket moved briefly but to the crowd gathered for my funeral, it looked like the wind. The only thing I could do was watch as the minister gave my eulogy.

I heard Anna sobbing and looked over to see Jillian on the ground in front of Anna, hugging her. Anna was still pregnant and was heaving to the point of gagging. My mother tried to calm her down, but she kept sobbing. I stood behind Jillian and Allison, trying to get their attention. When I batted at Jillian's hair, she swatted at it like it was an insect landing, but no one could see me. "Anna!" I jumped up and down and tried to kick over the tent they were under, but I got the same results as I did earlier: nothing. I was dead and no one could help me now.

I looked around but didn't see that white light that everyone kept talking about. The only light I saw was the sun and if that was the white light, I was cheated in Sunday School as a child. "If I'm dead, where is the white light? Where are the angels?" I swung again at the plant on my casket, but the leaves just barely moved this time.

The minister droned on in the background about my life and working with the crime lab. When he called for friends and family to speak, Grissom was the first one to stand up, "Nick Stokes. What can I say about Nick Stokes?" He pulled out an index card but tore it up and threw it in the air; the pieces falling to the ground like confetti. "Well, he's dead now and that sucks" He started to leave the podium, but almost as an afterthought, he stopped himself, " Oh, we have an opening at the LVPD CSI Crime Lab if anyone's interested."

With a last glance my direction I thought he saw me, "Grissom? You can see me!" I moved closer towards him, "I'm right here!"

"It's a shame really." He stopped again to look at my casket, "Hey! You can hardly see the ant bites! That makeup the morticians use is awesome. He looks brand new!" He chuckled to himself before he took his place between Catherine and Sara.

My brother spoke, followed by my father. They retained their dignity better than Grissom and the minister did. "Well, time to say goodbye." With my father at the end of my casket and my brother at the side, they moved the lever holding the lid up and it snapped shut. I was no longer standing next to the casket. Now I was inside, sealed in darkness.

"No!" The ants continued to bite and sting. Inside the box, the whirring sound of the fan slowly stopped. Through the ants and the pain, I heard it and realize what was happening, "Oh, my God. No, no, no, no." I was about to die. With no fresh air moving in the coffin, I had an hour, two at most, of air left but that was if the ant venom didn't kill me first. I was already hallucinating and was now seeing flashing lights and strange colors and I knew that in the dark confines of the box, I was about to die. The venom from the bites would stop my heart and I'd die. I just hoped it wouldn't be as painful as this. I thrashed around in the box and found my gun. "God, I'm so sorry, Anna. I love you." I had to make sure my death was quick and painless, or at least less painful than the ant bites I was currently getting. I aimed the gun under my chin and closed my eyes, forcing myself to pull the trigger.

"Hey!"

The gun fell to my chest and the sound was muffled as there were even more flashes of light above me. I could see them through my eyes, even with my eyes shut, but I didn't think they meant anything. "The white light. It's come for me!" I put the gun under my chin and after a few sobs, I got ready to pull the trigger to end it all, "Sweet Anna, I love you."

"Nick! Look at me!"

The lights above me kept moving around. I could hear something outside, but my eyes were shut. I also heard a loud pounding from above me. Was the angel of death beating on the box to tell me to hurry up? Could they do that? Apparently more than I knew, Sunday School got it all wrong. When I saw my Sunday School teacher in Heaven or wherever it was I was supposed to go, we were going to have a nice, long chat.

The pounding continued, "We got you, man! Hey, Nicky!"

"Wh…" I opened my eyes and wiped through the condensation on the top of the box. To my shock, I saw light. There was light coming through the condensation and I started to cry. I used my free hand to wipe more condensation off and rather than the angel of death, I saw Warrick Brown on top of me. I had been found. My team found me. I couldn't think of a better sight to see than the dark, night sky and Warrick.

"Nicky! Yeah. Hey, hold on there." I looked up and saw Warrick even more clearly. He had leaned in closer so I could see him, "Hey! The gun! Put that down. Put that down." He motioned for me to put something down, but my mind was swimming in a sea of ant venom and I didn't register what it was, "The gun! Nick! The gun. Put that down. We got you. We're gonna get you out of here." The pain from the ants was overtaking my senses.

The gun?

I realized I had something in my hand. I was still holding onto the gun. He wanted me to put it down so I didn't shoot myself or him. I dropped the gun and heard it fall to the bottom of the coffin with a thud. Warrick let out an exasperated sigh, "Thank God!" He was speaking to me, but it wouldn't register with me what he was trying to say until I let it sink in. "Hang in there." He turned his head and yelled behind him, "Oh, my God. We need that fire extinguisher! Give me that fire extinguisher!"

I was vaguely aware of the edge of the box being opened and a suffocating blast of something extremely cold being sprayed all over me. It felt so good that I continued to cry in relief. For the first time since the ants came in through the cracks, I felt relief. I was still swimming in a sea of ant venom and the voices above me were muffled to the point of not being able to hear them or comprehend what anyone was saying, but at least the ants weren't biting as much. I heard the sounds of Warrick begging me to hang on as the cool air filtrated into the confined space I was in. I breathed deeply and coughed violently. I started to gag and that got Warrick's attention, "Hold on, Nick. We gotta kill the ants."

"The ants." I was still crying, "Oh…"

"Nick! We're gonna get you out of here."

"Everyone out of the hole." Catherine was screaming as I started to shake my head trying to ward off the nausea, "That box is ready to explode!"

"Are you kidding?"

"Get out of there now!" She was still screaming, "Now! Out!"

"I'm not leaving without Nick!" Warrick remained on the lid of the coffin, "I'm not going until he's out."

"Rick, there are charges under the box!"

"I'm not leaving here without him." He yelled over his shoulder to her, "Figure something out."

"Warrick, Catherine's right. Get out of the hole now." Grissom moved into my line of sight, "Trust me. I know what we're gonna do. Just trust me."

I watched as Warrick looked once at me before apologizing and leaving me. I started to scream and beat on the cover as everyone left me, "Help! Damn it, help me! Get me out of here!"

I felt something drop on top of the box and looked up to see Grissom sitting on top of me, "Nick!" He put his hands on the glass, "Can you hear me?" I said I could, "It's gonna take us a minute to get you out of there, okay? Nick!"

"I want out. Get me out." I started to push on the lid, "Get me out!"

"Pancho!" I froze. "Listen to me." He put his right hand flat on the box cover, "Put your hand on my hand."

With considerable amount of pain, I managed to move my hand up to touch Grissom's, "Yeah?"

"Good. Now listen. There may be explosives under the box. They're probably set on pressure switches. We need to equalize your body weight before we can pull you out, okay?" I didn't respond and that got Grissom's attention, "Pancho, nod your head if you understand me."

After working through another wave of pain and nausea, I let what he told me sink in and eventually did what he asked, or at least I hoped I did. I wasn't sure if I had control over my body anymore. I was having a very hard time concentrating. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep but I couldn't. If I fell asleep, I'd die.

After yelling at someone just out of my line of sight, Grissom got back on the coffin to keep me focused, putting his hand on mine, "Alright, Pancho, we're gonna open the lid and get you out, but I need you to stay lying down. Okay? Or else you'll blow us all up."

I swallowed hard, "Yeah, yeah."

"Do you promise?"

"Yeah." I was crying again, "Yes."

I heard something loud coming from outside. It was a low rumble. Thunder maybe? I didn't care. I just wanted out. I wanted out and I wanted to see Anna.

Grissom was still on top of the lid and refused to get off, "Pancho, say 'I promise.' Say it to me."

Through my tears, I told him I promised not to move.

He opened the lid and I stayed still. The fresh air felt so good. I breathed in deeply again, but was overcome with a violent round of coughing. I once again tasted the salty bitterness of blood and realized I was coughing up blood and lots of it. Over the roar of the noise coming from beside me, I heard Anna screaming in the background, "Anna!" I started to get up. I had to see if she was okay, "Sweetie, please! Anna?"

Grissom got my attention and stopped my struggling, "Anna's fine. She's here, Nick. Don't move."

I let out a loud sob as I cried. Reaching out blindly, I felt Grissom's arm as he reached into the coffin to place his hand over my chest, "Stay still, Nick."

"Nicky!" Anna continued to scream, "Nick!"

"Anna!" My voice was so hoarse there was no way she could have heard me, "Anna!"

Warrick reached in towards me, "I got you. I got you." I grabbed at him and tried to pull myself up. "Nick, lay still. Lay still. It's okay. It's okay."

"Whe…Anna? Where's Anna?"

He kept repeating to me that everything was okay, "Anna's a safe distance away and she's fine. Nothing happened to her because she's been with us since this started. Bryan has her. She and the baby are fine."

Baby. Because of the ant venom, it took me a minute to remember Anna was pregnant. The initial wave of panic started to subside and I calmed down. My wife was okay. My baby was okay, "Okay."

I looked over at Grissom yelling at someone behind where he was, "Alright, bring that over." The noise got louder as I started to see the edge of a backhoe approaching me, "Nick, I've got to clip this to your belt. Just sit still." I felt him tugging on my pants before he got my attention again, "Okay, Pancho, I want you to close your eyes and hold your breath." My panic was coming back when Grissom yelled now.

The weight of dirt was on my chest, but before I could panic, I was being pulled up and was flying out of the hole, the air rushing around behind me. Behind me, I heard an explosion as I hit the ground with a sickening thud and groaned loudly. My whole body hurt and I started to sink into unconsciousness. I had held on as long as I could. I just couldn't do it anymore.

"Nick?" I felt someone shaking me, but I couldn't respond. I think I tried to groan or move, but I wasn't sure if I did either.

"Nicky!" I opened my eyes as I blinked a few times to clear my vision. Anna was about thirty feet away from me and was crying. Bryan had her by the shoulders, "Nick!"

"Epi and oxygen now. We've got to go." I looked up and saw two paramedics in front of me with a gurney, "Now!"

I saw Anna collapse and it was all I could do to hang on. My eyes fluttered shut with my last vision being of the night sky.

Bryan

"Contrac…Con…" I looked down at Aggie as she was crying once again as she took deep, even breaths, "Oh…G-God help…"

She went limp, "Aggie?" I shook her, "Anna! Wake up, Anna!" She didn't respond, "Meri-Anna! God Damn it, Anna!" I picked her up and carried her back to a second ambulance as another paramedic was loading Nick into the ambulance next to ours. The driver jumped in the front seat after he slammed the door and the other paramedic got in the front seat. "Dutch, find out how Nick is. Radio the other units." I turned my attention back to Aggie who was lying on the gurney in the back of the ambulance. I got the radio mic off of my shirt and called in to the medical dispatch center that we were en route to Desert Palms with one late term pregnancy with pre-term labor.

I was told to administer oxygen by mask, which I was already doing, "Frog, the ambulance with her husband is in front of us. Radio traffic to MedComm was about the same as it was earlier. He's pretty bad."

I shook my head and picked up Anna's left hand in mine. She was still unconscious, no doubt having fainted after what she saw at the nursery, "Just hurry the hell up. She can't lose Nick or this baby and I can't lose her."

Catherine

I watched as Bryan was carrying Anna in the ambulance next to the one the paramedics were using to transport Nick. Without thinking, Warrick and I both jumped in the one with him and no one questioned us. The driver saw us sitting on the bench seat but rather than throw us out, he nodded slightly and slammed the door before getting in the front. He understood why we were here.

I couldn't hold on to Nick's hand like I wanted to. His hands were swollen from the ant venom. I knew in the field before he was loaded, the paramedic in the back with us had given Nick something and I had guessed it was to counteract the ant bites. After applying leads from a heart monitor and an oxygen sensor, I kept an eye on the monitor's screen. Warrick was sitting beside me and was staring at Nick, who had his eyes closed and wasn't responsive. I reached out for Warrick's hand and held on to it for dear life. The paramedic in the back picked up Nick's hand and with a pair of scissors in his other hand, he snapped off Nick's wedding ring with one cut and the two pieces fell to the floor underneath him. His finger was already purple because of the swelling.

"Can you find out how Anna's doing?" I started to plead with the paramedic in the back with us, "She's in the next ambulance with Bryan Brooks."

"Yeah." He asked the driver of the ambulance to find out how Anna was. I listened in as our paramedic called in to the hospital to alert them about Nick's condition. I didn't have any medical training but I knew the words 'anaphylactic shock' and 'severe airway compromise with heart palpitations' weren't good.

The driver of the ambulance gave us the news we wanted to hear about Anna, "Frog said Aggie is unconscious, but her rates are good. He sedated her in the rig to keep her rates from spiking and to keep her from waking back up. Said she was pretty worked up earlier and the baby's heart rate is good and her water hasn't broken."

"That's good." Our paramedic looked up from Nick long enough to address Warrick and me, "Her water hasn't broken so that's good. They'll probably put her on a magnesium drip at the hospital to stop the labor."

"And if they can't?"

The medic looked at Warrick and me, "Then…"

My face paled. We both knew it was too early for her to deliver, "God, no." I felt like throwing up. Not only was Anna in danger of losing Nick, she was also in danger of losing her baby. Damn it, I should have forced her to go to the hospital earlier. All of us in the lab should have made her go. I mentally chastised myself for my stupidity over not making her go.

Finally after a ten minute ride from the nursery, we were at Desert Palms. LVPD had blocked off the last few streets from the highway to the hospital and we had a police escort in front of us and two squad cars behind us. The ambulance with Anna in it was behind us and as our driver parked and got out, Warrick and I watched as the two of them pulled Nick out of the ambulance. Bryan was shoving the gurney with Anna on it inside, right behind Nick. Anna's limp arm fell off the gurney as she was rushed inside.

Nick looked horrible and I was glad Anna was unconscious and not able to see him. An ED nurse stopped Warrick and me at the doors heading back to the trauma rooms. Warrick held on to my hand as the metal doors shut, isolating us from both Nick and Anna. I was shell shocked at how close we came to losing Nick. "He's gonna be okay." I looked up at Warrick, "He has to be."

"They both will. My grandmother used to always say 'If you're going to cheat, cheat death.' Nick did just that tonight and he will beat this."

I took a seat in the corner of the waiting room with Warrick as we waited on the rest of the team to arrive.

A/N: Another long chapter, so I expect lots and lots of reviews.

I mentioned in a PM that I don't have any experience with pregnancy and am basing Anna's contractions from stress off of an episode of ER where Elizabeth goes into preterm labor when she's out in the field in a stressful situation. If Anna's preterm labor is not realistic, blame the writers of ER and remember this is fictional.

Expect someone from the past to show up in an upcoming chapter. Any guess who it'll be? When you leave me a review, leave me your guesses. I'll let you know for sure which chapter our mystery guest will be in the chapter before. It'll probably be chapter 42 or 43 but I'll warn you the chapter before.