Steve sat impatiently on the side of the bed. In his head, he understood why Shane had told him to wait there until he called for him. The news of his return from the dead would undoubtedly be a shock to Kayla and it would be easier for her to hear the news and the necessary explanations from Shane before seeing him. It made perfect sense. At least, that is what he kept telling himself, even if he couldn't make his heart believe it.
His heart wanted only one thing - to run down the stairs and straight into Kayla's arms. Unfortunately, he wasn't going to be running anywhere for a little while, but he would have crawled down those stairs if he had to. His memories of Kayla had been the only thing that kept him going during those endless months of hell. Every time his body had been ready to give up, every time he thought he couldn't take one more second of it, Kayla's face had appeared in his mind. He could see her eyes filled with love for him and he could hear her voice telling him to hold on, that she loved him and that he couldn't stop fighting. She had kept him alive and somehow given him hope even when all rational thought told him there was no hope left.
And there was Stephanie. For the thousandth time since Shane had first given it to him, Steve looked at the picture of his daughter again. He had sworn he would never be a man who would abandon his children, that his kids would grow up with their Papa loving them and supporting them. He already had failed to keep that promise to Stephanie. Maybe it wasn't his fault, but he had failed anyway. His daughter had spent nine months without him there to protect her and love her. He made a new promise that he would do whatever he had to in order to make it up to her. Steve's arms ached to hold his little sweetness as much as they ached to hold his wife. And they were both so close, just down those stairs.
Steve told himself to wait. It had been only a minute or so since Shane had left, even if it did feel like hours. How long could it take Shane to tell Kayla the news anyway? A few minutes at best, right? Even Shane would know to cut the fancy words short at a time like this, wouldn't he?
Taking a deep breath, Steve slowly stood and looked in the mirror again. The black casual slacks, white button down shirt, and black vest were not the faded jeans and t-shirt he would have preferred, but at least it wasn't a suit. He had been pleasantly surprised when Worthington had presented him with numerous casual options. He guessed Shane must have been very specific about the types of clothes to request, and Steve now had a several sets of pants and shirts to replace the fatigues he had worn from the base.
Continuing to look in the mirror, Steve tried to ignore how bad he looked. He had never held any illusions about himself, but Kayla had never cared about the patch or the scar, and he had grown accustomed to seeing himself through her eyes. But he couldn't deny the truth now. His face was gaunt and the dark circles had not completely faded away. His hair had been trimmed by the barber Shane had brought out yesterday, but the shorter hair only made him look like more of a stranger to himself. The new clothes were nice, but they hung loosely on his body, a reminder of how skinny he was. As much as Steve tried to ignore it, a small voice in his head kept asking - would Kayla still want him, still love him when he looked so different?
Shutting that voice away for the moment, Steve instead walked to the door of his room, hoping to hear something that would indicate that it was time for him to come downstairs. He listened intently, but all he could hear was the slight buzz of conversation.
What could be taking so long? How long does it take to say "Hi, Kayla. I know this will come as a shock, but Steve's alive and upstairs." Okay, maybe that was unfair. It might take a little more introduction and explanation, but really it should be over by now. That small voice spoke up again. Maybe something is wrong, maybe she doesn't want to see me, maybe this isn't good news to her.
Steve tried to force that voice down again. Surely Shane would have told him if there was some reason to believe that this would not be good news for Kayla. Granted, Steve had not directly asked Shane questions about Kayla's current life, but Shane would have mentioned something, wouldn't he? Steve knew now that Kayla had believed he was dead for the last nine months. He couldn't help but wonder if she had moved on with her life without him. He couldn't blame her if she had, could he? Steve wasn't sure how to answer that question. His head said that he couldn't, but his heart hurt just thinking about Kayla with another man. He didn't even know if it was true and he wanted to kill him, whoever he was.
Steve couldn't take it anymore. He didn't care what Shane thought was best. He had to go downstairs and see Kayla. He had to know the answers to all of the questions spinning in his head. He had to know if he had been rescued from hell with a chance of resuming his life or whether he had simply exchanged one hell for another.
Taking one last deep breath, Steve looked again at the image in the mirror. He gave an ironic chuckle and said, "Ready or not, here I come, Sweetness." Turning from the mirror, he slowly made his way to the door of his room and out into the hall.