"Did you get ahold of Toby?" Sam asks me as soon as I slide into the booth.
"Yeah, he's on his way. Charlie should be here any time too."
"The whole gang all together at the Hawk & Dove, just like old times."
"Also known as the lamest bachelor party ever. I'm sorry man, I should have done better by you. Especially with the girls down in North Carolina for the bridal shower."
"Hey, you know that I know how busy we've been. Besides, we're getting too old for wild and crazy bachelor parties."
"I know. That's what I told Donna when she cross-examined me before she left." I make my voice high to imitate Donna."Are there going to be strippers, Josh?" Sam grins at me. "I told her no. I swear we had the exact same conversation years ago."
"Yeah, she texted me an hour ago and reminded me about your sensitive system."
"I'm not surprised. She reminded me too. But you know what Sam, we really are getting too old. I mean, I used to like naked women. A lot. Now I like naked woman, as in one. One gorgeous blonde."
"To gorgeous blondes!" Sam cheers and clicks his bottle to mine. We both grin and take a drink.
"I wish they hadn't gone away for the weekend."
"I hear ya, buddy."
"I'm telling you. You should have eloped. We'd both be getting some this weekend instead of having the lamest bachelor party ever and going home alone."
"Yeah, well, Ainsley wanted the big Southern Wedding with all the frills, and I'm about as good at saying no to my woman as you are to yours."
"To women who know what they want!" I toast, and clink my bottle with Sam's.
"Speaking of which, I heard that Donna got into Georgetown. That's exciting. When does she start?"
"She's all registered. She's taking GOVT 040 Comparative Political Systems online- it's actually independent study so she can start any time. She has to be finished by December 15 but she can double up and be done in 8 weeks, so she could have this first class done before Lulu gets here. Then she can actually do the same thing with GOVT 060 International Relations, so she could have both the Foundational requirements done this semester."
"Why didn't she just register for both?"
"She thought about it, but decided she wanted to see how the first one went. September is pretty busy. She may end up needing the full 16 weeks. She wants to ease into it."
"That seems reasonable." Then he grins, "So . . . Lulu? Is that official?"
"Sort of. I mean, that's not going to be her actual name, but I started calling her that after we found out she's a girl. Donna likes Olivia, which is fine, but a bit boring for my taste."
"What do you like?"
"Got a pen?" Sam looks confused but pulls one out of his pocket and hands it to me. I write Leonora down on a napkin and slide it toward him.
"Leah-nora? That's pretty. Why'd ya write it down?"
"I wanted to see how you pronounced it. My Mom and I tend to say "Lanora" Donna's Mom says it full Italian mode- "Leo-Nora." Donna says it's, and I quote, "perfectly awful." Since it's my favorite it gets to stay on the list. I'm not holding my breath. But she said I can call the baby Lulu even if we do name her Olivia.
"You want to hear perfectly awful? Our ring bearers are Ainsley's 6 year old identical twin nephews. Their names are "Hunter" and "Gunner".
"No way."
"Way. Wanna hear the flower girls' names?"
"Sure."
"Clementine and Maggie."
"Maggie's not that bad."
"It's short for Magnolia."
"Oh."
"You thought your in-laws were odd? I've got you beat by miles. Ainsley's sister, Brinley, is married to Jefferson Davis Jackson. Their kids' names are Magnolia, Stonewall and the baby is Scarlett."
"They did NOT name their kid "Stonewall Jackson."
"Hand to God."
"What are you guys talking about?" Charlie asks, sliding into the booth next to Sam.
"How would you say this name?" Sam asks Charlie, handing him the napkin.
"Leo-Nora." Charlie emphasizes the first syllable without any of the Italian accent. Then he looks up at me. "You're naming the baby after Leo?"
"Maybe. We've got it down to two choices, Leonora," I pronounce it the way Donna's Mom does, "or Olivia." I'll admit I said Olivia rather blandly.
"Olivia's nice." Charlie says. Hmmmm. Maybe this is why Donna thought we shouldn't share the names until we had decided. It seems like Charlie has a preference.
"You don't like Leonora?"
Charlie doesn't blink. He's always had a great poker face. "It's fine. Not something I'd choose, but hey it's not my choice. You gonna call her that? It seems a bit much."
"You and Donna think a lot alike. She probably wouldn't go by Leonora any more than Donna goes by Donnatella. Donna thinks maybe she'd call her Nora. I personally like Lulu."
"Nora Lyman" That's cute. Charlie smiles genuinely at me.
"You're naming your kid Nora? After your Dad?" Toby slides in next to me.
"I don't know. How'd you come up with the Twins' names?"
"Andy picked them." Well then. That doesn't really help me.
"How would you pronounce this?" Charlie hands Toby the napkin.
"Depends. Is this Italian?"
I give him a look.
"Since I'm assuming this would be Donnatella Moss Lyman's daughter, I'd pronounce it Leonora." He says it just like Donna's mom too, so I give him a quick grin.
"Alright are we done with this conversation?" Toby grouses "you know it isn't up to any of us anyway. I can tell you this. After you see what your wife goes through to bring your child into the world you are going to let her name that baby anything she wants and you are going to love it."
After the Lamaze video, I totally believe him.
Toby looks around. "Where's the waitress? Are we ready to order?" He waves her over.
We all order dinner and another round of drinks. When she heads off, Charlie looks around at us.
"This is a pretty small wedding party for a Southern Wedding. I'm kind of surprised. I would have expected Ainsley to go all-in."
"Oh, she did." Sam explains. "She has 6 Bridesmaids. The other groomsmen are her two brothers, Duke and Beau, and Will Bailey."
"Will Bailey?" Toby asks in disbelief. "Will Bailey is standing up in your wedding? You met him for what, like, 30 seconds?"
"Hey, he's a nice guy. And I was desperate, it was him or one of Ainsley's 47 cousins."
"Come on, Toby, Will's not that bad." He's really never gotten over Will jumping ship and working for the VP.
"He tried to get Bingo Bob elected as President! I'm surprised you can stand him."
"I won." I shrug. I'm really not one to hold a grudge. Well, except for Republicans.
Once we're done eating, we head to the backroom to play some pool. I don't know why we bother. Charlie cleans our clocks as usual.
At 9 o'clock, we're looking for something else to do. Seriously, if this "party" is over before 10 it truly will be the lamest bachelor party in history. Besides, I keep checking my phone, and Donna hasn't texted me yet.
"Iota?" I suggest. "We can listen to some music. Have a few more drinks."
"Sure." Toby agrees, "The twins are already in bed anyway. I'll get to spend some more time with them tomorrow before I head back to Columbia."
Sam and Charlie nod their agreement, so I gesture to Phil that we are ready to go. At least with a detail we don't need to worry about a designated driver. Not that I'm getting drunk. Donna would kill me, even from 400 miles away.
"So, you've moved to New York?" I can't even imagine moving 5 hours away from Lulu and she's not even born yet. I can hardly stand that they went away for the weekend.
"Yes,I gave up my apartment here and got one there. I'm teaching Monday through Thursday. Then I'm coming back here to spend the weekends with my kids."
"Where are you staying when you're here?"
"Andy's." He says with a slight smirk.
"Should we break out the Team Toby hats?" Sam asks with a grin.
"No. I'm done asking her to remarry me. Right now we're friends with benefits and co-parenting on the weekends. We'll see how this goes."
"What about you?" Sam asks Charlie.
"What about me?"
"What's the status with you and Zoey?"
"Well, this isn't for public knowledge." He grins at us. "She's moving in with me when school starts, but she hasn't told her parents yet."
"Charlie, that's in 4 days!"
"Actually, 3. The Law School starts Monday, Zoey's Master's program starts Tuesday, Undergrads start Wednesday."
"So, um, how's that going to work?"
"She'll be here tomorrow with her stuff."
"I mean, how are you going to keep it from her parents?"
"Well, eventually they'll figure it out. They know she's moving to Georgetown and they know she's got an apartment lined up. She's almost 24 years old. It's not like they're going to help her move. They know we're seeing each other. They just don't know we're taking this step."
"I'm not sure whether you're brave or insane." I tell him honestly. I was terrified to tell President Bartlet that Donna and I had eloped and he's not even really her Dad!
Phil comes back out to the car and tells us they are ready for us inside, another good thing about the detail, we'll get a good table. We follow him into the club where Cynthia greets us and leads us to the same table we had last time. If we do this a little more often it'll be our regular table.
"Where are the ladies?" She asks with a smile.
"They're in North Carolina for the Bridal Shower. Tonight is Sam's Bachelor Party!" I announce.
"Congratulations, Sam!" She gives him a hug. "First round is on the house."
"Thanks, Cynthia."
"So who's playing?" I nod toward the stage, there's a guy with a guitar getting ready to start.
"That's Sean McArdle. He's good."
She's right. He's got a nice voice and folksy tone. It's very relaxing.
Thirty minutes later, the waitress comes by to see if we need more drinks.
Toby orders a scotch. Sam and Charlie order beers.
"I'll just have water, please."
She nods at us and heads off. I check my phone again.
"Donna?" Sam asks.
"Yeah. I want to talk to her before she goes to sleep."
"Ainsley hasn't texted me either. They must be out doing something."
"You two are whipped." Toby snickers at us.
"Yes, yes we are." Sam admits with a smile. "You guys ready to go?" He must really want to talk to Ainsley.
"We just ordered more drinks, Sam." Charlie points out. Toby just shakes his head.
"Damn." Sam responds.
With perfect timing, the waitress shows up and hands the drinks out. Fine. This guy should be done with this set soon. We can finish these drinks and be home by 11. I really hope Donna texts me by then.
I walk in the door at 11:15. I'm starting to get nervous. Donna still hasn't called or texted me yet. I'd assume she just fell asleep but Sam hasn't heard from Ainsley either. What if something happened to them? They're so far away.
As I get ready for bed, I vacillate. Should I call her or not? I really, really want to talk to her. And I want to read a story to Lulu. This is the first night we've been apart since Donna found out she was pregnant. But she might have had a long day, what if she's already sleeping? She needs her rest.
I climb into bed with a stack of briefing memos, still undecided. Maybe I could text her? That probably wouldn't wake her up if she's sleeping. But if she's out with Ainsley, she'd probably see it before she goes to bed.
"U awake?" I hit send.
30 seconds later my phone rings. "Hello?"
"Hey, babe. I just got back to my room. Ainsley's parents took the entire bridal party out to dinner at the Country Club and it lasted forever."
"Oh yeah? What are you wearing?"
"Um, my blue and white dress."
"Why don't you take it off?"
"Hell, yeah. I gotta get out of this bra. My boobs are killing me. These shoes too."
I was trying for sexy, there, but she's totally killing the vibe. Just as well, I have no real interest in phone sex. I just want to talk to her.
"Do you want to call me back when you're in pajamas?"
"Nah, just give me a couple seconds here."
"Okay." I hear some rustling, but before I can count to ten she's back.
"Okay, much better. I'm naked now." Ugh. She's totally killing me here. Is she doing this on purpose?
"Donnnaaa . . . " I whine. And she giggles. So yes, she IS doing this on purpose.
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. You live to torment me."
"Yes. You're just so easy. But I love you."
"I love you too. I wish you were here. This bed's too big without you."
"It's the same bed you've had for 6 years."
"I know but it was always too big without you. And now you take up, like, two thirds of it, so it's just right."
"Careful, mister."
. . .
"How's my baby?"
"Very active right now. She was doing summersaults during the shower. You should have seen it."
"Oh man, I wish I had. I should have come with you."
"Josh. It was ladies only. Sam wasn't even invited."
"I could have come in drag. I bet I'd make a very attractive woman."
"No, Josh. You really wouldn't. And I'm okay with that."
. . .
"Can I talk to Lulu?"
"She's not really talking yet, you know, being in utero and all."
"You know what I mean. I want to read her a bedtime story. Can you put me on speaker and put the phone by your bump?"
"Okay." There's a little pause. "We're ready. What are you reading?"
"In the great green room, there was a telephone, and a red balloon, and a picture of -"