Donna settles down into her seat and I suddenly realize that I finally understand how Toby felt about Andy flying. There's just something about it that doesn't feel right. What did he call it? A flying death tube. Atmospheric cabin pressure, wind sheer, down drafts and burning jet fuel. Ugh.

But the alternative was a 7 hour road trip. That doesn't sound appealing at this stage either. Plus since she has to pee every 5 minutes it probably would have been a lot longer than that.

At least on the way back we get to fly Airforce One. That'll be much better. I hate flying commerical but Sam needs his best man for the rehearsal dinner tonight. And Donna insisted that we take today off, and arrive in Asheville before lunch.

I really wish Sam had eloped. Not as much as Sam wishes he'd eloped but close. He and Ainsley left last night after work. By 10pm, I already had a text from him saying "you were right." I knew exactly what he meant.

Although, it has been fun watching Ainsley unspooling over the last few weeks. She calls Donna right after every phone call from her mother. Donna's job is to talk Ainsley out of eloping. I asked Donna why she bothered, when obviously it would be easier on all of us if they just eloped. Donna said that after the wedding was basically planned, Ainsley made her promise that no matter how crazy things got she wouldn't let her elope. Donna was so cute, imitating Ainsley's southern drawl- "I know at some point I'm going to want to, but we've spent too much time and money now. Don't let me do it."

And Donna is such a good friend, no matter how much she had on her own plate planning the State Visit, she listened to Ainsley complain about her mother, and her cousins, and the caterer, and the florist, and then said a variation of the same thing almost every time. "It'll all work out. At the end of the day, on September 22, Sam will be your husband. You'll have amazing pictures and funny stories, and you'll probably even end up liking your family again."

The first time I heard her talking Ainsley off the ledge, she was so convincing that I felt terrible for depriving her of a big wedding of her own. When she got of the phone, I'd started to apologize, but she cut me off with a passionate kiss, and said "I'm so glad we eloped. We are brilliant."

The flight attendants are coming by. They are going to tell Donna she's got to get off the phone. She nods and I hear her say-

"I gotta go. They're making us turn off our phones. I'll be there in two hours. You can make it that long without killing your sister, I promise. Okay, I'll see you then."

She hangs up and turns and grins at me. "Seriously. So glad we eloped."

As soon as the plane is ready to disembark, Phil and Jackie escort us off. While nothing beats Airforce One, commercial with a secret service detail isn't quite so bad. Last ones on, First ones off. There is a golf cart waiting to take us out the back to the waiting SUVS. There is a lot more secret service presence in general. With the sitting and former Presidents attending the wedding, Ron needed to secure the Church and the Reception Venue anyway, incorporating our detail really wasn't a big deal at all.

I don't know how they do it but our luggage is already loaded in the SUV by the time we get there. Sometimes the perks really do outweigh the hassle. Plus, I just feel like I can breathe a little easier knowing that Donna and Lulu are being guarded around the clock.

"Wow!" I gasp as we pull up to the Crown Plaza hotel & resort. I've been to plenty of hotels. This one is pretty fancy.

"I know!" Donna gushes. "Ainsley's parents brought us over to see it when we were down here for the shower."

It really does live up to its name. The building looks like a castle.

"The reception is here, too. It makes it really convenient for guests."

Once we are in our suite, Donna unzips the garment bag and starts to hang our clothes up. My suits look fine but I wonder if we should send her dress out to get steamed? I wonder when I started thinking about things like that?

"Is your dress okay?"

"It'll be fine, Ainsley's going to have them all steamed tomorrow morning while we are getting our hair done."

"So what's on the agenda for today?"

"Ainsley and the bridesmaids all have spa appointments in about" she looks at her watch, "90 minutes. Then the rehearsal starts at 5:30, at the church. The rehearsal dinner will be back here around 7."

"Okay, what am I supposed to do while you're at the Spa?"

She gives me one of those looks. The one that asks "Are you stupid?" without really saying the words.

"Don't you and Sam ever talk? You see him, like, every day."

"At work! I see him at work! And we talk about, you know, work stuff. We're trying to run a country here, Donnatella."

"Well, if you are going to take a tone with me, I'm not going to tell you what you're doing." She sniffs.

I think this is just banter. But it's getting harder to tell the difference between banter and a mood swing. The best bet is to apologize, whether or not I think I did anything wrong.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to take a tone."

She gives me a little glare which I think is playful, but I hold my breath to see. Then she grins at me. Whew!

"The groomsmen are golfing while the girls are in the spa. 9 holes."

"Really?" My voice gets kind of high. But I'm really excited. I haven't had very many opportunities to golf this year. There is just too much to do.

"You really didn't know? Sam didn't tell you?"

"No, I don't think so. I think I would have remembered. Damn! I didn't bring any golf stuff. Do you think they have a pro shop?"

"I packed stuff for you. Your golf shoes are in the side pocket. Ainsley's Dad said they'd have clubs for you."

"Is this why you said we had to take the day off and be here by noon?"

"It is."

"You are absolutely the best."

"I am, aren't I?" She grins at me. She really is. I pull her as close as I can with Lulu between us, and give her a sweet kiss. God, I just love her so much.

"How about lunch? It's almost noon. I bet you two are hungry."

"Famished. There's a restaurant on-site. Why don't you call Toby and tell him we're here. I'll call Ainsley and see if she and Sam can meet us."

Lunch with just the six of us is a great way to start the festivities. Ainsley is a little frazzled but managing to hold it together. Sam is his usually amiable self. Toby and Will managed to make small talk without taking each other's heads off, but I'm glad I'm not going to be in their foursome. Toby isn't really much of a golfer, but Charlie couldn't get down here until later, and Toby really would do anything for Sam. They are paired with Ainsley's brothers. It could be highly entertaining.

"You going to be okay?" I ask Donna giving her a kiss as we are ready to part ways.

"I'll be fine."

"If you are getting a massage, make sure you get someone certified in pre-natal massage."

"I will."

"Seriously, I want you to ask to see their certification." Will rolls his eyes. Just wait buddy, your time will come.

"Yes, dear." I know that tone. She's placating me.

"Well, listen to that, what a good wife you've got there, son."

I don't recognize this man, but I think I literally felt Donna's hackles rise.

"Daddy!" Ainsley says with some exasperation. Then she takes a deep breath and smiles.

"Daddy, this is Josh Lyman. You already met Donna at the shower."

"Yes, I did. Good to meet you, son." He sticks out his hand and I give it a solid shake. I'd really like him to stop calling me son, but I can handle it.

"Josh, this is my Father, Earle Hayes."

"Nice to meet you, sir"

Ainsley introduces Toby and Will to her father. Then Sam introduces them to his Dad.

"Good to see you again, Josh, it's been awhile. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Norm. It's good to see you too."

"Well, let's let these little ladies go make themselves pretty, while we hit the links, shall we?" Earle suggests.

Ainsley looks embarrassed, while Donna looks like she wants to belt him. This could be an interesting weekend.

I made eye contact with Sam and watch him grimace. I wonder how long he can hold his tongue. And even if he can, Toby has no incentive.

We follow Earle down to the lobby and then to the golf entrance. Phil follows discretely behind us. When we arrive, Sam introduces us to Ainsley's brothers.

"Josh, Will, Toby, these are Ainsley's brothers, Duke and Beau." Ainsley's brothers are blonde, tall, and broad-chested. I bet they both played football. They're a lot more intimidating looking than Sean and Finn. But they smile and shake our hands, so hopefully it's all good.

"So, what's the deal with that, there?" Duke drawls, pointing to my detail.

"Well, I'm the Chief of Staff to the President of the United States. That is my secret service detail."

"Would they shoot me if I punched you?"

Phil's posture tenses slightly. "Let's not find out." I don't think he'd shoot Beau but I think he'd take him down pretty quickly.

"Okay," he grins. That was an odd little exchange. I really hope he doesn't challenge my detail, or God forbid, one of the Presidents'.

Once the carts are lined up, ready to go, Toby and Will quickly slide into one, together. I guess the devil you know sort of thing. Sam slides in behind the wheel of another and I follow leaving the two Dads to each other.

"Well, this could be bad on so many levels." Sam mutters.

"Do you want me to switch places with one of them?" I'm the best man, it's my job to throw myself on a grenade for him if need be this weekend.

"God, no!" He exclaims as we follow behind them toward the first tee.

"So what does Earle do for a living?"

"Tobacco."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Old money, it all traces back to tobacco."

"Right. . . . You must really like Ainsley."

He gets his boyish grin, and responds- "yeah, I really do." See, that there is good best man work. Reminding the groom how much he loves his bride. Check.

We make it to fourth hole on just small talk. Then Earle starts schooling Sam on the sacredness of marriage, the significance of monogamy and the importance of fidelity.

I hear Sam mutter under his breath- "you just said three things that all mean the same thing." I shoot him a look. Do you really want to get into it on the golf course with your future father-in-law the day before the wedding?

Norm is looking less and less comfortable as Earle rattles on. Does he not know about Sam's parents? Does he not care that it took a long time for Sam to get back on speaking terms with his Dad? I guess not, because he just keeps going.

"And I'm just telling you now, Son, that if you ever cheat on my daughter, the boys and I will hunt you down the way a low-life scoundrel should be, and we will personally make sure you are incapable of ever cheating on her again. If you get my drift."

"Sam understands the consequences of infidelity better than you know. My son, would never cheat on Ainsley. Of that, I have no doubt." Norm says fiercely.

Sam is incredibly tense. I can't say I blame him, but if I can I'm going to try to keep him from saying something he'll regret. The truth is he probably doesn't disagree with either of them. It's just the condescending tone they're both using that is getting under his skin.

"Look! The beer cart!" I wave it over. Not that adding alcohol to this situation is necessarily going to make it any better, but at least it's a distraction.

"Hey, Josh, Donna told me to remind you, no more than one beer." Sam looks very relieved for the change in conversation.

Earle looks at me intently. "You're not going to let her tell you what to do are you? Who wears the pants in your family, son?"

"Donna does!" Sam and I say at the same time. We grin at each other. We just have to tolerate these guys for a couple days, then we can go back to our happy lives, with our gorgeous blondes who know what they want.

I've never been happier for a round of golf to be over in my life. Toby, Will and I make a bee-line back towards our rooms, leaving Sam and Norm to the in-laws.

"So how was golfing with the good ol' boys?" I ask Toby and Will. We didn't really see much of them out there.

"Painful, incredibly painful." Toby utters.

"Not really conversationalists?"

"Let's just say they didn't have a broad range of subjects upon which to speak." Will says diplomatically. He has a special knack for over looking stupidity.

"Let's just say the only thing good I can say about that was at least they didn't speak in iambic pentameter." Toby grouses.

"I don't know," Will contemplates, "that might actually have been interesting."

When I get back to the room, Donna is just getting out of the shower. I'm just in time to see some naked wife. This day is starting to look better. I reach for the towel, when she throws me for a loop.

"Josh, how long have I been pregnant?"

Is this a trick question? It feels like a trick question. She knows she's 34 weeks pregnant. Right? I'm about to answer when she says-

"A hundred years? It feels like a hundred years. Why didn't anyone tell me you're pregnant forever?"

Ah, pregnancy fatigue. The book mentioned this. Women sometimes just get tired of being pregnant. The last few weeks can feel really long.

I smile at her softly. "C'mere." I wrap my arms around her, and whisper in her ear- "You're so amazing. Just a little while longer now, and I'll start getting a turn to carry her sometimes."

"That's sweet. Really." She cups my cheek, "but I'm ready to evict this kid in a couple weeks. Seriously. 6 weeks seems like forever from now."

"I know. I wish I do could it for you."

"Ha! You wouldn't last one day."

"Well, you're right about that."

"So how was your massage?"

"It was good. It was a lot different than any other massage I've had, but my back feels a lot better. He was really fantastic."

"HE?!" I feel my blood pressure go up. The thought of another man's hands on my wife. . .

"Josh." She says my name softly and I look into her eyes. I don't know how she's always known how to say my name exactly the right way in any situation, but she does. Just the one word and I'm instantly back to earth. I have nothing to be concerned about.

"Sorry. Caveman reaction. All better." I tell her sheepishly.

"Good, now there's something I want to show you," she says, dropping the towel.