Disclaimer; Not mine I make No money

A special thanks to FinanceBabe for all her help and keeping me on track with this story. I also want to thank everyone who took the time to review. It helps to know someone is actually reading this!

I was standing in front of Mr. Dominic begging him to believe me, that I hadn't seen anything. I didn't know what was going on. I fell slowly to my knees, my eyes never leaving the gun. I could feel the chill come over my body and I knew in that moment that I was about to die. For some reason I felt calm, as if I were just accepting my fate. I could hear the click of the hammer being pulled back echo through the entire room.I heard the explosion BAM!

I sat straight up in bed gasping for air, a quick glance at the clock on the wall told me it was only a little after 5 in the morning. I usually slept for another hour or so, but the nightmare had hit me so strongly once again I decided to give up on sleep. I struggled to slip out of the tangled sheets that had wrapped around my legs, after several minutes of flopping around like a stranded fish I managed to get out of bed. I was glad no one was there to see me, it is hard to maintain your dignity when you are losing a battle with bed sheets.

I managed to make it to my bag in the corner of the room with out tripping over my own feet, but it was a near thing. To say I lack grace and coordination in the mornings was an understatement. I dug around in my meager possessions and found a pair of blue jeans and a dark navy blue tank top. Grabbing my clothes and toiletries I shuffled off into the bathroom and started the shower. I stood under the shower trying to wash away the remains of my nightmare. Before I could really relax, I started hearing the sounds of the guys moving around the house. I finished quickly and got out of the shower. I pulled on my jeans and sighed when they were a little snug. I must have gained some weight while I was sitting around, these size 16's were a little loose when I got them, but not so much now. I pulled my shirt over my head and sighed as I looked in the mirror. Most of the time I hated being large chested, but at least it made the rest of me look smaller. I was going to have to do laundry and soon. There was no telling when the Marshals would get the stuff from my apartment shipped to me.

I made my way out of the bathroom and tossed my PJ's on top of the bag in the corner. I looked at my bed and made a face, I had really torn it apart last night. I grumbled to myself before I leaned over and started making my bed. When the bed was made, I flopped down on my stomach and stared at the wall. I was just trying to find the strength to face the day when there was a soft knock on the door.

"Breakfast is here if you're hungry" I heard Bobby's quiet voice through the door.

"I'll be right there." I forced myself to get off the bed and to throw my waist length hair into a quick braid. I heard Bobby's foot steps heading down the stairs. I knew I should probably get a move on before they started to worry. I crossed myself and whispered "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen" I crossed myself again and forced myself to walk out the door.

I walked into the kitchen to find the guys sitting at the table eating donuts from a box marked Tasty Pastry. I headed to the counter and the empty coffee cup that was sitting there. I poured myself some and took a small sip. I gave Lester a small wave as he grinned and said "Mornin' Sunshine."

I carried my coffee to the table and sat down reaching into the pastry box for a plain glazed donut. I took a small bite and set it down on the napkin in front of my chair. Nothing tasted good anymore, and I was getting sick of fast food. I sat back in my chair and sipped my coffee. Lester turned to look at me and finally spoke.

"I wasn't sure what you liked, so if you want we can come up with a list of things you want to eat."

"What ever you guys want is fine. Nothing tastes good anymore anyway." I just continued to sip my coffee and avoided the gaze of the men sitting around me.

After several moments of silence, Bobby decided to speak up. "There is always someone on guard, and none of us sleep late, but you don't have to get up when we do."

I was trying very hard not to get irritated, they were trying to be nice, but it was obvious that they didn't know what to say to me, and that they really would rather say nothing. "It's fine, I couldn't sleep anyway." I took a large drink of coffee before standing up to refill my cup. I brought the pot back to the table with me and refilled the guys cups with out thinking about it. All those years working as a waitress I suppose. I put the pot back in the machine and leaned against the counter. I watched the guys come up with their assignments for the day. It looked like Lester was on fetch and carry duty. He was supposed to go out and get everything we needed, Bobby was patrolling the house and Tank was supposed to make sure I didn't sneak out. I finished my coffee and poured yet another cup, I was going to have to make another pot.

Lester came over and stood next to me while I started another pot of coffee and leaned his hip against the sink. "If there is anything you need outside the house, just let me know. Think of me as your personal shopper."

I took a deep shaky breath. I refused to cry no matter how much I wanted to. "I'm fine Lester thanks."

"You sure? I'm supposed to get you anything you want. I could get you that vibrator you mentioned yesterday."

I shook my head and stared ahead at the coffee pot. "Anything I want? Well I want to go home! I want my cat, I want to sleep in my own bed. I want my life back!" I spun around to face him my voice getting louder as I did. "I want to go outside, I want to walk barefoot in the grass. Mostly though I want to stop being scared. I want to get up in the morning and not have to be stuck in a freaking prison while the REAL bad guy, the one who just shoots people is still living his life while some dumb ass lawyer tries to build a case! So tell me… can you get me that? No? I didn't think so. " I spun around and roughly grabbed the coffee pot and dumped some into my cup sloshing the hot liquid all over my hand as I did so. I slammed my coffee cup down as I slid the pot back into place so I could run cold water over my now burned hand.

I don't know how long I stood there with the water running over my hand, but soon Bobby was grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand out of the water to look it over. I fought the urge to yank my hand away, and just stood there until he announced that I would be fine. I nodded and lightly shook the water off my hand before wiping it dry on the back of my jeans.

"Thanks." I picked up my forgotten cup of coffee and chewed on my lower lip a little bit not able to look at any of the guys. I just hurried out of the kitchen towards the stairs and yelled to the guys. "I'll be in my room."

I hurried up the stairs as quickly as I could, and shut the bedroom door. I leaned against the door I couldn't help the shaking that started then. I was so tired of holding everything in, and once I let loose on Lester, it seemed that everything else just broke loose. I slowly sank to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest.

I must have sat huddled against the door for quite a while, because when I finally got enough control over myself to stand up, my muscles were stiff. I sat the coffee on a nightstand and crawled into bed. The last thought I remembered as I began to drift off into sleep was I should have asked Lester for a Teddy Bear.