Carrying Jeannie in her arms, Kim walked into the kitchen. Kayla was already there, feeding Stephanie who was seated in a high-chair.
"Good morning," Kim said.
Kayla turned, stopping with a spoon about two inches from Stephanie's mouth. "Hey, Kim."
She looks exhausted, Kim thought, as she studied the dark bags under Kayla's eyes. Walking over, Kim took a seat next to an old wooden table. "Did you get any sleep?" she asked her sister.
"Is it that obvious?" Kayla said.
"Yes. I'm sorry." Kim looked toward the corridor to make sure there was no sign of Steve. "More nightmares?"
Kayla nodded. "It's either nightmares or he's up pacing all night, 'standing guard.'" She looked worried. "He gets the nightmares even when he naps during the day, and I know it's eating away at him, but I don't know what to do."
Kim understood. She had used some of the time since she arrived to talk with PTSD specialists back in the U.S., and they had warned her of the strain the disorder placed on the families. "We have to get Steve to talk about what happened. The more he talks, the more he will be able to deal with the memories so they aren't so disabling. The key is to desensitize him."
"That's all he needs?" Kayla asked.
"I don't know." Kim was trying to be honest. She paused as Jeannie squirmed and lifted her daughter so that she was more solidly in Kim's lap. "It's possible that will be enough. There are some other possibilities. One of the doctors I talked with mentioned a new therapy that looks promising for this kind of trauma. It uses eye movements in a way that mimic memory. As I understand it, the patient revisits the traumatic event while the eyes are stimulated in a way that desensitizes him. I don't know the details; that would require a specialist."
Kayla looked dubious. "That sounds crazy."
"Maybe," Kim said. "But there is some theoretical basis for it. In any event, it doesn't matter if Steve isn't receptive to treatment."
With a deep sigh, Kayla looked down at the plate of baby food. "I know - and I know you've tried. He can just be so stubborn. He thinks he's weak if he needs help."
"Of course he won't. Steve's just like Bo, Roman, Shane, and every other man we know." Kim reached over and touched her sister's hand."You have to convince him. This isn't going to get better without help."
Kayla sat still for a few moments, before she let out a deep breath. "I'll try."
Kim decided to change the subject. "Speaking of Shane. . . . Have you told Steve?"
Looking down again, Kayla said, "I know I have to, but it's so hard. You know Steve's going to be upset, and he's already been through so much."
"But he's going to find out eventually," Kim pointed out. "You're better off getting it out of the way."
"I know." Kayla scooped up some more food and fed it to Stephanie. "I wanted to let Shane know first, just in case Steve does something crazy, but-"
"But Shane's been persona non grata since the other night." Kim understood. Shane had taken Andrew to London the day after the incident with Steve in the foyer and then had gone on a ride and picnic with the boy yesterday. And other than the time spent with Andrew, Shane had been spending most of his remaining time in the communications room. Kim knew she should be pleased that Shane was spending so much time with Andrew, but she also had the clear impression that he was trying to avoid dealing with the situation with Kayla. Looking back at her sister, Kim saw that Kayla had pulled out Shane's ring and was looking at it.
"I have to return this," Kayla said. "But if I can't even get a minute alone with Shane, how can I? Hey, what if I give it to you and you can give it back?"
Kim gave her sister a knowing look. Kayla will know what I'm thinking.
"Yeah, I guess that's not really fair." Kayla studied the ring for another few seconds and then returned it to her pocket. "I've got to do it. I just hate the idea of hurting him."
"Shane's a big boy," Kim said. "Besides, he'll pretend that everything's fine to make it easy for you."
Kayla finished the feeding, and slid the plate away from Stephanie. She picked up a towel and wiped the baby's face clean. "Of course, he will. What is it with these men that they feel they need to spare us from their real feelings? I swear they could be bleeding from a hundred wounds, barely able to stand, and they would still claim everything is fine."
Kim laughed at the image. That's so true.
Standing, Kayla lifted Stephanie out of the high-chair. "Has Shane told you anything about how the ISA rescued Steve?" When Kim shook her head, Kayla said, "See, even that's a mystery. Why won't they just tell us so we can know what they're dealing with?"
"I don't know. Shane said that the mission had to be a secret, so maybe not telling us is part of that secrecy?"
"Well screw the ISA and their secrecy," Kayla muttered. "I want to know where my husband was and how they found him. And I want to know what it took to free him." She started toward the door and said, "Sometimes I wish we'd never heard of the ISA and it never came into our lives at all."
Kim watched Kayla leave as she thought of what her sister had just said. If not for the ISA being in Kim's life, she would have never met Shane or had Andrew, and they had been two of the greatest joys of her life. Just as she could not fully regret her relationship with Cal Winters because it resulted in Jeannie, she could not regret a single minute of her life with Shane. Kim hugged Jeannie close and whispered, "Sorry, Kay, I just can't agree."