Kim stepped out into the bright sunshine of a warm English afternoon. Andrew was off on another ride with Shane and Jeannie was napping peacefully with Stephanie. Kim had convinced Kayla to use the downtime to take a nap herself, knowing that the restless nights were taking a toll. First mission accomplished, Kim thought to herself. Now, to the second.
Kayla had mentioned that Steve had decided to take a short walk outside and Kim now set out to find him. She knew that getting Steve to open up to her about what had happened to him while he was gone was going to be an uphill battle. Uphill battle, huh? More like climbing Mt. Everest, she thought with a small chuckle. Yet Kim also knew that the key was not to stop trying. It was a fine line to walk. If she pushed too hard, his resentment would build. If she stopped trying at all, then he would never start talking. Well, that was why she had the job. She had to figure out how to walk that line.
As she neared the pond on the estate grounds, she spotted Steve sitting on a small bench, overlooking the water. She studied him as she approached. Even in the few days that he had been there, she could see that he had regained some weight. His cheeks no longer looked so hollow. His clothes no longer hung quite so loosely. He still didn't look quite like the old Steve, but any improvement was a good thing.
What hadn't improved was the exhausted look on his face. The dark spot under his eye was still there, and the way he slumped on the bench showed that he was still nowhere near full strength. Kim knew there was a vicious cycle at work. As long as the nightmares continued, he could not sleep. And without sleep, his body could not recover.
"Steven," Kim called out softly, not wanting to startle him. Steve's head jerked up and swiveled around, looking more like a man fearing an attack than a greeting from a friend. When his eye found Kim, he relaxed and settled back into the bench.
"Hey, Kim. What are you doing way out here?" Steve asked, not bothering to conceal the suspicion in his voice.
"Looking for you, actually." Kim figured honesty was the only way she might make some headway with Steve. He knew why Shane had asked her to come, so pretending this was a coincidence would go nowhere with him.
Kim reached the bench and took a seat beside Steve. "So . . . how are you feeling today?" she asked.
She could see Steve rolling his eye at the question and braced herself for a dose of sarcasm. Steve did not disappoint her, as he said "Well, Shane thinks I'm crazy, my wife thinks I need to do nothing but sleep and eat, and you apparently think I can't go for a walk by myself. So maybe you should tell me how I'm feeling."
"Well, by that response, I'm guessing your feeling a little grumpy," Kim replied, refusing to react to his irritation. "Luckily for you, I'm immune to grumpiness on sunny summer afternoons."
"Yeah, lucky for me," Steve said under his breath.
Knowing she was not going to get anywhere with the indirect approach, Kim decided to just lay it all out there for him. "Steve, we both know why Shane brought me here and we both know that his concerns are justified. You're staying up half the night because you're afraid somebody's coming after you and your family. And when you do sleep, you have nightmares. The doctors said that the most important medicine for you is rest, but you're not getting any. I can tell how much you hate feeling weak, but it's going to take you a lot longer to get your strength back this way."
Steve was silent for a moment, then said, "I'm not crazy, Kim. Maybe I went overboard the other night when I threw that stuff at Shane, but I'm not crazy." He paused, then continued, "Once I get some strength back, and get used to being out of that hellhole, the nightmares will stop and I'll be able to protect my family. I just need a little time and I'll be fine."
"Of course you're not crazy, Steve. Nobody thinks that. But this isn't going to just go away. You may not want to talk about it, but it's obvious you've been through a traumatic ordeal. That type of thing just isn't something you can forget. Trust me, I know."
"I don't see how talking about it's going to help either. What do you want me to say? I was taken away from my family for nine months and the entire time was hell. There, I talked about it. Can we move on now?"
Kim could hear the anger and frustration building in his voice. "No," she said evenly. "We can't move on now. You haven't talked about anything and you know it."
"Okay, you want to talk, then how about you talk to me. You want to know what my life was like for those nine months? Well, Kayla and Stephanie are my life, and I'd like to know what their life was like."
"I think that's a subject for Kayla, not me," Kim answered, a bit surprised at his question.
"Maybe so, but she doesn't seem to want to talk about it very much. She just keeps telling me that she missed me and doesn't want to think about the time I was gone anymore," Steve said, the concern in his voice evident. "So . . . maybe you can tell me what she doesn't want to talk about."
"I, uh, wasn't really around for a lot of it, Steve," Kim said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "I talked to Kay on the phone quite a bit and I could tell how sad she was and how much she missed you, but I don't really know what was going in her life after you, umm, left."
"So, what you're really saying is you won't talk to me, either. Fine. I won't ask you any more questions." Steve said harshly. He got up from the bench and looked down at Kim. "But don't expect me to answer your questions either," he said. Then he turned and headed back towards the house without another word.
Kim contemplated following him, but decided it was probably a bad idea. Steve might think he had avoided telling her anything, but Kim felt that the conversation had been another small step forward. The end of the conversation concerned her though. Not because of Steve's anger; she could deal with that. No, it was because he could tell she was hiding something from him and as long as he felt that way, he would never trust her enough to really open up. She hoped Kayla would find a way to tell Steve the truth soon. Every day that went by with that secret being kept was only going to make things worse in the end. Kim sighed. She had certainly learned that lesson about keeping secrets over the years. She only hoped Kayla didn't have to learn those same lessons.