As Kayla approached Steve and Shane, she could tell they were in an intense discussion. She could see that Andrew and Stephanie were happily playing just a little ways away, but it appeared that neither Shane nor Steve were paying any attention to them. She quickened her pace, wanting to end whatever argument they might be having before the kids became aware of what was going on. She was just a few feet away when she heard Shane say, "When was the last time you stopped Kayla from doing anything?"
"Shane, Steve, what's going on?" Kayla asked, hoping that Shane had not said too much.
Steve quickly turned at the sound of her voice. Kayla could instantly tell that he was angry and upset about something and her stomach churned at the thought of what it might be.
"What's going on, Sweetness, is that I just found out that you've been holding out on me."
"What . . . what do you mean? What did Shane tell you?" Kayla worked to keep her voice steady.
Shane answered first. "What I told him is that you and Stephanie were living at my house after his dea - I mean, after his accident - in order to protect you from Alamain and that you and I traveled to Alamain's country when we learned he was responsible for what happened to Steve."
"Oh." Kayla was relieved that was all it was, but she knew that she could no longer keep the full truth from Steve. She would have to tell him soon, but she really needed to talk to Shane alone first.
"Oh? That's all you have to say. Why the hell didn't you tell me all of this yourself?" Steve asked, anger flashing in his eye.
Kayla looked again at Andrew and Stephanie and could see that Andrew had noticed what was going on. "Shane, could you take Andrew and Stephanie in the house? I believe that Worthington has their lunch ready."
Shane looked at her with concern in his eyes, but nodded. "Of course." Then he turned and walked over to Andrew and Stephanie. He picked up Stephanie with a smile. "Come on, Sweetheart, let's go get your lunch." He helped Andrew gather up the toys and blanket and headed off with Stephanie in his arms and Andrew beside him.
When they had gone, Steve turned back to Kayla and said, "So? Are you going to answer my questions now?"
Kayla took a deep breath, then took Steve's hand. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I just didn't want to upset you."
Steve looked down at his hand in Kayla's. "You didn't want to upset me? I'm not a child or an invalid, Kayla. I'm your husband and I've been asking you for days about your life while I was gone. Why can't you just be honest with me?"
"I am . . . I will. I . . ." Kayla turned away as she felt the tears spring to her eyes. How could she explain the pain she felt when she lost him? How could she make him understand how lost she was without him and how going back to their house without him was just something she couldn't contemplate?
Kayla felt a hand on her shoulder as Steve gently turned her around to face him. He cupped her face in his hand and wiped a tear away. "Just talk to me, Sweetness. Just talk to me."
She took another deep breath. Maybe if she started at the beginning he would understand. "It's true that I moved into Shane's house after your funeral because it was safe, at least that was what I told myself. But the reality was that I couldn't bear the idea of living in our house alone. Everything there reminded me of you - of us. So when Shane offered to let us stay with him after I was attacked outside the house, I agreed."
Looking up into Steve's eye, she continued. "I was so angry after I thought you died. I think in some ways the anger was the only thing that kept me going, aside from Stephanie. When Shane figured out that the person behind Jencon was Lawrence Alamain, I knew I had to go with him. I owed it to you and to Stephanie to bring your killer to some kind of justice. Of course, it didn't quite work out that way."
"Yeah, Shane told me," he said. "I know you stayed at Shane's until Christmas. So when did you move back to the house?"
"I, uh, I didn't." Kayla answered, knowing that each question brought them closer to the ultimate truth.
"You didn't? You mean you are still living there?" Steve's voice rose with each word.
"No, we're not living there anymore. But I didn't move back to the house because I sold it." Kayla looked up at Steve waiting for his reaction.
"You sold the house?" Steve asked, the disappointment evident in his voice.
"I thought you were gone and I just couldn't face living in that big house alone. We used to talk about how we would fill up all of those rooms with children and love and laughter and after you were gone it just seemed like an empty dream. It . . . it wasn't my life anymore. So I sold it to Mickey and Maggie."
"Oh, baby. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. You'll never know how sorry I am." Steve's voice cracked with emotion. "I just wish you would've told me all of this earlier. I don't like feeling like you're keeping things from me. And I gotta tell you, baby, I still feel that way."
"I know," Kayla said. "I know I need to tell you everything, but not right now. Let's go back to the house and I can take care of a couple of things and make sure Stephanie is settled in, and then we'll go upstairs to our room and I'll tell you everything you want to know. I promise."
Kayla could tell Steve was not happy with the idea. Before he could protest, she took his hand again and looked into his eye. "Please, Steve. I know you don't want to wait, but I don't want any interruptions and if I make sure Stephanie is taken care of, we can have the afternoon to ourselves."
"All right, Kayla. I'll wait. For a little while."
"Thank you," Kayla said. Together they turned and walked back to the house. Kayla knew she needed to speak to Shane alone before she talked to Steve. She had to return Shane's ring and she wanted him to know that she was going to tell Steve the truth. He had the right to know before everything exploded. Kayla held no illusions that this would be easy or without consequences. But, walking beside Steve, she made the same vow she had made the afternoon he had returned to her life - they were a family again and she was not going to let anything tear her family apart. She would make Steve understand. No matter how long it took her, she would make him understand.