3rd Nightmare: Aokuro

A shrilling beeping sound echoed in the dull, white room. Each beep bounced in a shrill tone that made me conflicted with relief as well as fear. I didn't dare look at the monitor where the sound was originating, hell I didn't even want to open my currently closed eyes. I knew that if I did, my heart would shatter.

Instead, my calloused hands only squeezed the smaller hand that I was holding. It felt light and limp and I knew if I were to open my eyes, they would be a pale milk white color that almost matched the white walls.

I've been sitting here, just holding his hand for what seems like an eternity but I knew that it was actually for about an hour or so, but even still I didn't want to leave. I was terrified of what would happen if I were to leave his side. An outburst of worst-case scenarios kept flashing my mind and I oh so wanted to ignore them but they still persisted.

Reluctantly yet out of a whim, I blinked open my eyes, but in that instant, I regretted my decision.

All I saw was my beloved Tetsu lying asleep on a blanket of white. There was an oxygen mask covering his face and several IVs around his pale, skinny arms. He was covered in a thin matching white hospital blanket and his head was resting on a fluffy white pillow to match. He was so thin, and so sickly looking that I almost discarded my pride right there and just cry. I've never seen Tetsu look this terrible and I know that he's been suffering for long and I couldn't have done anything about it.

Tetsu stirred, the hand that I was clasping trembled slightly and I was suddenly on high alert. He tilted his head a little and blinked open his baby blue eyes. Those conflicted feelings returned when I saw how dull and lifeless his eyes were, but I couldn't contain the relief when I saw him blink tiredly and look in my direction with a lack of focus. I could literally feel my heart cringe in sadness.

"A-Aomine-kun…" Kuroko murmured. His words were so faint that I had to strain my ears in order to hear him.

I squeeze his hand with my two own while smiling softly at him. "It's ok, Tetsu. I'm here," I reply. I'm lying. I know I'm lying to Tetsu but I still do it. Kuroko's eyes glimmered for a short second but quickly faded back to a lifeless stare.

"Aomine-kun…I-I'm scared…" Kuroko murmured, while slowly shifting his gaze to the blank ceiling.

My heart broke in two. The two of has have long been aware of Tetsu's weakening condition. It's only been a couple months since Tetsu was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Just reminiscing about all of the pain that Tetsu had to go through in just a few short months was heart-breaking to think about. I could only wish that I could trade places with him, to take his pain and suffering, to give him his life back for crying out loud!

I raised his hand to my cheek, eyes threatening tears to spill but I held back. "It's alright, Tetsu. I'm here and I'm not leaving you," somehow the words slipped from my mouth without any stutter as I could only watch my Tetsu suffer in an agony that I couldn't take away.

The hours ticked by painfully and endlessly. I wasn't able to do much other than provide the little comfort that I could give Tetsu through gentle touches and nostalgic distractions of stories back at Teiko. Even through those loving gestures, which never fail to bring a smile on Tetsu's face, his eyes still hold the truth on the pain and suffering that he's still going through.

My mind barely registered the slower pace of Tetsu's heart-beat through the monitor. When it did, my eyes widened only to see Tetsu gazing up at me, his eyes were drooping and quickly losing their light and a sad smile was plastered on his face but I could tell he was only masking the pain that he was still in.

"T-Tetsu," I managed to choke out, forcing back my panic. No… this couldn't be happening. This isn't happening now!

"Aomine-kun…" Tetsu breathed, I had to strain my ears once again in order to hear him. "I'm sorry…b-but I have to go, I-I couldn't beat it…" his voice trailed off and my heart is shattering.

Still gripping his hand in mine, I removed one of my hands to stroke his cheek. I didn't care that my hands were shaking, only Tetsu. He was the only thing in my mind and he's about to leave me forever.

"Tetsu, don't apologize. Please, don't do this to me, don't leave me, I-I love you damn it," I stuttered, tears that once went away now threatening to return full force again. My mind was in full out panic mode and I'm trying to spout out whatever I can; anything that could possibly allow Tetsu to stay with me.

Tetsu's smile widened ever so slightly, head slightly tilted so as to lean into my touch, eyes closing but yet they never stop gazing into my own eyes. "I love you too, A-Aomine-ku-"

His eyes closed before he could finish his sentence. The flat line of the heart beat monitor echoed through the room, unforgiving and filled with dread and what was left of my heart was beaten beyond repair.

The tears spilled. My sobs of anguish, guilt and of the uttermost sorrow soon overpowered the flat line of the monitor as I wrapped my arms around my lover and buried my face into his lifeless chest.

The tears only spilled faster as I realized that his soothing heart-beat was in fact gone, the rise and fall of his chest, also gone, the warmth of his body, gone.

"Why…Why couldn't it be me!? Why couldn't I have died instead of you!? I'm so goddamn sorry, Tetsu. I'm so sorry I failed to protect you!" I cried into his chest.

The love of my life, my Tetsu is gone.

What do I do?

"…mine-kun. Wake up, Aomine-kun."

I wake up to someone shaking me. When my vision focuses I notice that it's Tetsu. He was wearing one of my shirts which was way too big for him

The memories of the nightmare swarm back in my mind. The hospital, The monitor, my hand gripping Tetsu, Tetsu dying.

Tetsu died.

…

…

The anguish, guilt, sadness and the feeling of having my heart ripped out returned in full force. I buried my face into my hands and my body starts to shake.

"Aomine-kun, are you okay!? What happened?" I heard Tetsu question me. I shake my head in response. I didn't want Tetsu to see me in tears, knowing my pride would never allow it. But nonetheless, I could feel Tetsu pull my hands away from my face, kick the sheets away as he positioned himself in-between my legs and embrace me. My eyes widened; I could feel Tetsu's heartbeat against my own and I could also feel his calm breathing against my neck. All I could do is swallow my pride and wrap my arms around Tetsu in return, pulling him closer. I continued to sob into his neck, just relieved that my Tetsu is here in my arms, safe and cancer free.

I know that Tetsu must be curious about what my nightmare was about but I can't trust my voice enough to tell him now, and I'm sure that Tetsu understands that too. Besides, that can wait for the morning. I could only hold the love of my life in my arms, relieved that all of that trauma and suffering on both of our parts was nothing more than a shitty nightmare.