Disclaimer: Don't own this.
Warning: A little bit of gore in this chapter. If a little textual imagery of blood squicks you, you have been warned.
Prose 16:
As the Student Council rushed to get Balder help, over on the South end of the Garden, Tezcatlipoca and Quetzalcoatl relaxed near their temple. Tezcatlipoca lounged on the limb of a tree, on his stomach, resting his blocky head on his forearm, his other arm and one of his legs dangling, looking very much like a sleepy jungle cat.
Tezcatlipoca was not sleepy though, his sharp eyes fixated on Quetzalcoatl, watching the god wash himself with water. He liked to keep cool. Clean his feathers so to speak. He knew that Quetzalcoatl loved seeing the bright sun, despite how cool the weather still was. During the Solstice, especially during the infuriating snow, he and his fellow god huddled in their temple. Quetzalcoatl became agitated, because if he transformed into his serpent form, he couldn't adapt as well to the cold weather.
Tezcatlipoca's eyes narrowed, his thoughts on the events during the Solstice festival. He knew Quetzalcoatl had certain thoughts about him, that it shouldn't be at all surprising to learn that he specifically told the human girl to stay away from him.
Still. It hurt. Tezcatlipoca was never one to take Quetzalcoatl's disdain with any weight, but when he heard the Serpent God tell the human girl that he was dangerous it caused a rage in him that he hadn't felt in a long while. He had confronted Quetzalcoatl about it afterwards, the other god giving him soft complacent replies, not seeming to take Tezcatlipoca's feelings seriously.
He sighed to himself. That human girl. Yui Kusanagi. She was...unexpected. Were all humans like her? If so, he would be sick. He had, he confessed over and over again, taken human sacrifice to feed himself. He never met one in person before, but he heard their horns, could feel them take the sacrifice up the stairs of the temple, could imagine the strike of the club against the sacrifices' skull, could taste the blood that ran down the stone altars. It quenched his thirst, and he never bothered to know much about what fed him. There were days he tried to stop knowing the rising opposition for human sacrifice amongst the gods of the world.
But he couldn't help it. He really could not help it. Tezcatlipoca would be minding his own business, walking the jungles in the night, when the horns sounding that a sacrifice was about to happen would blare in his hears, loud and shrill. He would then be pulled into an uncontrollable frenzy, his conscious disintegrating, being pulled by an instinctual force that could not be broken nor satisfied until he tasted blood.
He distinctly remembered waking up with blood all over his hands and face. Quetzalcoatl stared down at him in all his headdress and jeweled glory with a look of disappointment and frustration etched on his beautiful face.
'You disgust me.'
When Quetzalcoatl was dressed, he could be very intimidating and frightening whenever he was forced to break away from his normal pleasant self, perhaps even more so than when he was in his serpent form. Tezcatlipoca told him time and again that it wasn't purposeful, but Quetzalcoatl refused to hear that excuse.
'If everyone else can give up human sustenance, so can you. It's not about not being able to do it, but the fact that you refuse to.'
In their long history together, they never got along, fighting and thrashing each other almost constantly, but this sudden change in policy had ever further the rift. Quetzalcoatl's attitude towards Tezcatlipoca's problem only further isolated the Jaguar god from his fellow gods and from humankind itself. As such, Tezcatlipoca never saw fit to ever try to adapt to the new policy. Not when everyone seemed to be against him from the get go.
Why bother? Why bother when it was the humans who dragged those victims up to the altar, when it was humans who struck those sacrifices, when it was humans who carved out the hearts.
Tezcatlipoca hated the sound of those shrill horns in his head, but he had learned to accept them as inevitable.
Here in the garden, however, the sounds of horns never cropped up. Here in this garden, he was free of his bloodthirsty obligation. Here he could talk to a human for once, who, in his opinion was a very patient and understanding person. Kind perhaps, though he hadn't much contact with her when she was not stricken with terror at seeing him. Tezcatlipoca wanted desperately to get her to seem him in any other way. Just so he could talk. He wanted, more than anything right now, to talk to her.
'Learn more about my food,' Tezcatlipoca thought grimly, before regretting ever having that thought. Yui Kusanagi was a fascination all on her own, not at all related to blood, sacrifices, or human rituals.
"What are you pondering up there, Tezcatlipoca?" Quetzalcoatl was now under the branch staring up at Tezcatlipoca with a wry smile on his face.
Tezcatlipoca shifted on the branch, pulling his face away from Quetzalcoatl's gaze. "Go away," he mumbled into his sleeve.
"'Fraid I can't do that, amigo," the rainbow haired god said, tugging at his limiter, something that bound him to the ornery god in the tree. Suddenly, Quetzalcoatl grew serious, "Are you still angry about the festival? Tell me something I said that wasn't the truth."
No answer.
"You have to realize that you are, as I have continually said, an inherent danger to that girl. You have not convinced me otherwise. I will not see you responsible for any danger she may be brought in. I'm going back inside, I can sense that something's up here."
Tezcatlipoca could not stay in his branch then. As he crawled down the tree to follow Quetzalcoatl back to the temple, a hunger and fury welled deep in his gut. It was a frenzy he hadn't felt since arriving at the garden. But this thirst wasn't for human blood or sacrifice.
It was a hunger that could not be quenched until Quetzalcoatl lay submissive at his feet.
Cernunnos missed the winter already. He liked the brisk air, and over all silence the world seemed to be. The cold wasn't as much of an issue, and he was at least a little thankful for that winter god coming in and breaking in snow. For once, the garden seemed silent, and he could walk the forests with his companions in peace. With the celebrations all the nuisance of the other students were gone, all of them huddled inside to keep warm. The world, for once in a long time, seemed to be all Cernunnos'.
Now he leaned against a large oak, listening to the robins chirping in reprieve. He smiled in mild amusement to hear their excited communication. Despite being changed over to autumn, the animals who normally slept during the winter, were at least excited to stretch their wings, legs, paws, and tails.
The chirping quite suddenly stopped, and the air became eerily still. The autumn sunset seemed eerily dark. Something odd was happening.
Curious, Cernunnos stepped through the woods to take a good view of the school. Was it inside the school? Everything seemed calm.
"Wheels are turning," a sneering, spine rattling voice hissed. Cernunnos turned and gave Crom Cruach a look of hesitation, caught between fear and curiosity.
"You sense that too?"
Crom Cruach nodded before reaching down and tearing a dandelion from the ground. Cernunnos flinched.
"I don't know what's going on," Crom Cruach said with a hint of a lie. "But I smell a way we can escape this prison."
Loki's lungs were burning as he pumped his way down the halls of the school, racing towards the infirmary. Apollo was the one who ran to the Norse dorm to give the news that Balder had collapsed. Loki ran all the way from the dorm down to the school, Thor in tow, much less winded with the run. He spotted Yui sitting on a bench right outside a door in the infirmary, she stood with a distinct look of fear and concern in her eyes.
"What happened?" Loki asked breathlessly.
"We don't know. He was sitting there and then he just keeled over," Yui explained frantically. "Hey Thoth said you can't go in there!"
Loki didn't listen as he rushed into the infirmary.
Thoth looked up from Balder's body and cursed, "The hell!?"
Balder's torso was bare, red welts on his chest near his heart area. He looked rigid, almost like he was a corpse in the midst of still hanging on to life. A mask was attached to his nose and mouth, the hissing sound of oxygen flowing through it into his lungs, his chest barely moving.
"The HELL are YOU doin'!?" Loki spat rushing towards his friends' body. Immediately, Thoth grabbed him and shoved him away.
"You want him alive? You keep cool," Thoth threatened as if he would just as easily let Balder perish if he was interrupted.
Loki cursed at Thoth, delirious in grief and Thoth snarled, "Kusanagi, get him out of here."
There wasn't a lot that Kusanagi could do to restrain Loki. He was a smaller god, but wily when he didn't want to be held down. She pulled on the hood of his jacket, whispering words of condolence as she dragged him back out, listening in pain as Loki pleaded for his friend to wake up.
Yui bit her lip as she unfortunately caught a glance at Balder. He was attached to various machines to help his human body recover. He was immortal, so she surmised that whatever was wrong with him was internal. Something that no machine can cure.
She remembered going to see a movie with her friends that had a scene a lot like the one she saw. It was a movie about two young school age boys who became runners for a gang. One of the boys was shot in a particularly emotional scene and was dragged away to the hospital where the doctors actively did everything to keep him alive. The doctors opened up the boy's shirt attached the monitors, administered the IV, and gave him oxygen in a hurry, using defibrillators to get the boy's heart to start beating again. She guessed that Thoth used something similar to that on Balder. There were red marks on his chest that would indicate so.
It seemed surreal. And she was unsettled. Terrified in fact.
And all she could do at this point was console Loki and a very disturbed Thor.
"He-he's not dead is he?" Thor said in creeky crackling voice that was disturbingly weak coming from him. It crushed Yui even more that death was the first assumption Thor went to.
"He's...not..." Yui said even though Thoth had not given a prognosis.
Loki grew fidgety, bouncing his leg up and down as the students waited in silence.
"C'mon Thoth," Loki seethed through his teeth. Apollo laid his hand on Loki's shoulder.
"It'll be alright, Loki-Loki," said Apollo. "Bal-Bal can pull through. He's immortal right?"
Darkness crossed Loki's face as he refused to answer. Thor grumbled something as he approached his friend, tapping his other shoulder.
"Loki, we're going back," he said sternly.
He shook his red head, "I'm staying."
Yui glanced up at Thor, whose golden eyes glazed over. She could practically see the fuse on Thor shortening and shortening. His great chest heaved as he inhaled, before his large hand grabbed Loki's shoulder roughly and hoisted him up.
The others weren't so used to Thor manhandling Loki, who was writhing in Thor's stone-like fist. Thor's patience, with everything, was gone.
"We're going, Loki," he demanded calmly, managing to gently pet his smaller friend's hair. "Sitting here...won't help for anything."
Takeru leaned forward from his spot against the wall and asked, "Thor...what's going on?"
Thor spoke through tight severe lips, as if the very question were an insult, "Nothing."
"Come on, Thor. They don't know," Yui whispered.
That was a mistake, as Apollo heard her, "Know what?"
The look Thor gave Yui, was one no one ever wanted to see. More fear coursed through spine at that look than when she first met with Zeus. Still, Thor remained silent and hoisted a combative Loki roughly over his shoulder.
Apollo turned back to Yui, "Know about what? Miss Fairy?"
Yui couldn't manage to shake her head, but thankfully Hades drew Apollo's attention away.
"Let it go, Apollo. It's probably nothing."
"Nothing my ass," Takeru spat as he balanced himself away from his position next to the wall. "Something's going on, and those brutes won't tell us. If it's something that's going to affect him or us, we have a right to know."
Everyone but Hades stared at her intently, waiting for an answer.
"It's just a disease from being away from home," Hades said, trying to shift the focus. "I have brought upon him misfortune."
"N-No Hades!" Yui said through tight lips. "It really has nothing to do with you or anyone else."
"So you do know," Takeru said, arching an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest, waiting for an explanation.
"No...not entirely no. Let's just wait for Thoth."
Dionysus decided to jump in with the questioning, "Come on Kusanagi. The violence before Christmas. Him acting funny after the celebration. Loki shows up beaten to a pulp and now Thor won't give us the time of day without looking like he wants to murder someone. You cannot tell us something's not up with Hringhorni in there."
Determined, Yui refused to let anything that Loki revealed to her slip, "It's...not for me to tell. I swear to you all, I cannot tell you anything without Thor or Loki's consent. If you are curious, badger them with the questioning, because now I really damn wished I was never made aware of...this!"
Her hissing, half-tirade was cut short as Thoth opened the door to the infirmary. He gave all of them a very cold and condescending stare.
"You all are still here?" he scoffed. "Nevermind. The bimbo in there is stable. For now."
"But you are NOT to go in!" he added as everyone made to rush through the door to see Balder. "I mean it."
He turned on his boot heel and strode down the hallway, calling, "Make your way to the library, where I can keep an eye on every one of you."
Anubis' boredom was almost always to his detriment. He always got in trouble whenever his hands became idle his curiosity grabbed him, which lead to a few gods here or there get annoyed with him. Thoth especially. And nothing more grabbed his curiosity when someone told him NOT to do something.
But after Thoth entered his library looking a little shaken and tired, he couldn't help but sense something was off. Anubis knew it had something to do with the little Sun God rushing in talking about the north barbarian god collapsing unexpectedly. Anubis had run across the same north god a few days earlier, finding him calming but with a strange cloud of tragedy looming over him.
During the night, Anubis snuck down to the infirmary. It was empty and silent and he quickly found the room where the fallen light god lay. Anubis blinked once at the scene. The body was still, gray, and silent on the bed.
He looked ready to be embalmed.
Silently, he crawled close to get a better look. He was still alive. Very much alive...just...lifeless. He was obviously unconscious, but the lifeless face seemed to be experiencing an incredible amount of pain that he was holding in check through an appearance of numbness. His head was slightly tilted to the side.
Anubis reached over and straightened his head so that it was facing directly at the ceiling. There. He was properly resting.
No sooner had Anubis's hand left Balder's hair when he sprang to life, hand grabbing Anubis's arm in a vice-like grip. Anubis yelped and broke free from the light god's grasp and fled on all fours.
Balder gasped aloud, heaving in air from into his lungs. Ringing resounded in his ears and his vision was blurry and disoriented. He stumbled out of bed, ripping off whatever Thoth had attached to his body. He couldn't establish good footing right away, as everything was disorienting. He didn't know if he was in a dream, reality, or in a strange state of a dimension in between.
He's had night terrors before, and in increasing amounts lately, the numbness of his body and the disconnect he felt with his own body. He couldn't say he was in control. He may have been, he wasn't sure. All he wanted was to get out of there.
He stumbled through the halls itching to reach the outdoors. He thrust himself through the large double doors of the school, letting cool darkness greet him.
In her dormitory, Yui found it very difficult to sleep. Perhaps it was the notion that one of her schoolmates was gravely injured or watching the look of Balder's body as Thoth presided over him. Try as she might to not think about it, it just kept cropping up on the back of her mind before she could finally settle into sleep.
"Oi, Kutanagi, I can hear your anxiety from here!" Melissa said groggily.
In the dark, Yui could make out her doll companion poking his head out of his house.
"You have a problem, let me help you get it off your chest."
Yui shook her head, "This is nothing you can help with this Melissa, I'm sorry."
A short pause followed and Yui was sure she offended Melissa in some shape or form. But it was true. Balder couldn't be helped. Unless…
Yui shot out of bed when she heard urgent knocking at her door. Hurriedly she pulled over a cardigan over her nightgown and went to the door.
Apollo looked distinctly frightened when Yui found him at her doorstep. He was dressed in his uniform, tie loose, first few buttons undone. His eyes were wide and he was clearly out of breath.
"Apollo, what's-"
"Balder...he's...gone…" he said between breaths.
Ice immediately filled her gut and she was sure she would start weeping at the announcement until Apollo quickly clarified, "He's missing. Sorry Yui, I was working late with Tsuki-Tsuki and decided to check on Bal-Bal. He wasn't there. We can't find him anywhere."
Immediately, Yui sighed in relief, but immediately resolved to action, "I haven't seen him, but we'll find him. Let Loki and Thor know."
"Tsuki-Tsuki is already on his way there to check if he just decided to go home. I'll take Pegasus and see if I can find him if he's wandering about."
"I'll go walk around the school again," Yui slipped on her slippers and stepped out into the chilly night air.
Apollo hesitated for a moment, wanting her to go with him for safety, but thought better of it. Finding Balder was more important. He whistled and in no-time Pegasus had arrived. He mounted and kicked his steed into action, watching carefully as Yui went straight to the school.
First thing's first, Apollo thought it would be a good idea to get everyone involved as much as possible. He headed straight towards the Greek dorm to rouse Dionysus and Hades and get them to join the search.
For Tsukito Totsuka, who never did much in a rush, was quite astonished to see how quickly Thor and Loki sprang into action once he said in a very calm voice that Balder was not in his hospital bed.
With no regard for danger or weather they ran out into the now windy cold, calling for their friend.
Yui checked throughout the deserted halls of the school, calling Balder's name, but no luck. She wandered around the courtyard to see if he collapsed there and he couldn't be found. As she wandered further out, Yui got the very eerie impression that she was not alone.
She glanced up at the forest near the very edge of the courtyard and she swore she saw a figure walking through the dark trees. It could be the trick of the light-or lack thereof, but what did she have to lose.
She never noticed until now how dense the forest could be this close to the school. She knew the woods near the Norse dormitory held tall imposing trees, but these trees were thick, twisting and winding with lush leaves that seemed all but untouched by the cold. It was as if any sort of creature of the night could hide in this place. She tried to remain focused on the task on hand and instead of the twisting branches that could be mistaken for antlers of deer.
Wait...was that a deer?
Yui spotted a figure moving in the darkness towards her unhurriedly. She took one step forward and found that the "antlers" weren't antlers at all, but as she thought before, winding branches of a thick knotted tree, and the "deer" was in fact a tall man.
"Cernunnos!" Yui exclaimed in mild shock.
Cernunnos' emerald eyes seemed to glow in the dark as they peered at her.
"You come looking for me?" Cernunnos asked doing very little hide both his surprise and disdain.
"Yes...no...sorry no…" Yui stammered. "Balder's gone. He's missing, we have to find him quickly. Please. Have you seen him?"
The forest god's expression was unreadable, but he was holding back something.
"Please, Cernunnos. You can help," Yui whispered, clasping her hands together in an almost begging gesture.
Cernunnos' bushy eyebrows rose at this. He could tell her to find the boy herself. No matter what he or she did would not stop the inevitable. Then what good would he be? Crom Cruach made things perfectly clear. Finding the boy would be the best option...for now.
"I did see him," Cernunnos admitted. "He came running out of the school like a wildman. He clearly had no conscionable thought with him."
Cernunnos approached her, standing close to the girl now. He stared down at this...tiny human and said, his voice devoid of any emotion, "I would look in the quiet and dark forest near his dorm. Stunning what darkness can do for a light god. It can both cause pain and comfort. Either way, when disoriented and devoid of critical thought, any living being will gravitate towards its home."
Yui shuffled one foot back, not tearing her eyes away from Cernunnos' beautiful stern green ones. She gave him a nod and whispered with much gentleness, "I greatly appreciate this. Thank you Cernunnos."
She turned on her heel and raced as fast as her legs could take her to the woods near the Norse dormitory.
When she made it to the forest outside of the Norse dorm, her feet were chilly and worn, with several pebbles stuck in the soles, but she didn't pay it much mind. Though it was night, the bright stars in the sky managed to give herself enough light to search for any sign of Balder. Yui prayed a bit that her suspicion that Balder glowed in the dark was true.
She continued calling out for him, her voice mixing with the heavy wind. As she stepped over a fallen oak she took a glimpse of a figure next to a tall black tree.
It was easy to see it was Balder. He was leaning weakly against the dark truck, wearing his slacks and a dark worn pullover sweater that was at least two sizes too big for him.
Yui was too filled with relief to care that Balder's familiar warm glow was now a soft grey-blue and his skin took on an ashen and grey look.
"Balder!" she shouted, running towards him.
He looked up at her, a little disoriented but managed a pained smile upon seeing her.
"Yui…" his voice was gravelly and barely above a whisper.
She paused, noting his eyes were unfocused, as if he were drunk or drugged. Perhaps some of what Thoth gave caused this.
"Thank heavens you're here," she sighed. "We were looking everywhere for you. Everyone's worried sick."
Balder turned his head, eyes fixated on the ground, his fingers picking at the bark of the tree he was leaning against. Still he didn't give her a response.
"Balder?"
"I hurt him," he said pitifully.
"What?"
The muscle in his jaw quivered, "Loki, I'm the one who beats him. He gets hurt because of me right?"
"Well…"
"And DON'T lie. White lies are one thing. But not about this. Don't lie about this. I'm tired of it."
How would Loki handle this? Lying, Yui supposed. Lie and say that Balder has never hurt anyone in his life. She knew that was false. Everyone knew that was false. Who knows how many times Loki was on the receiving end of his outbursts. Yui had a feeling it was a lot.
"Balder, let's go back inside," she said, almost pleading.
"And do what?" he glanced over at her with steely eyes. "Break more bones? Choke someone out?"
His fingers dug into the wood of the tree, easily breaking the hard wood with quickly unfettered strength. Balder let out a big sigh and calmed down.
"I don't know what to do anymore," his voice was rough and gravelly, sounding decidedly aged. "I'm tired of...people covering up for my sins. Shielding me from any wrongdoing."
Yui let the silence cut the air. Let the wind carry thoughts away. All she wanted to do was get Balder back inside, safe and sound. She allowed himself some space. His breathing was halting and he ran a weary hand over his face.
"Let me go get Loki and Thor," Yui said warily, but before she could turn, she felt his cold fingers grab hold of her wrist, pulling her towards him.
"No please, don't leave," he whispered, pleading, looking afraid to move from this spot, but also not willing to let her leave. "Please, Yui I n-need you here."
She shook her head at that statement, "You're not thinking clearly, Balder."
He pulled her closer to him, "No, no please...Yui...I need you. I can only trust you. Please don't leave me. Don't leave me all alone."
He was nearly choking through his sobs, a distinct look of desperation etched onto his face, his pallid and clammy complexion growing even more pale, if possible.
"Balder! Get a hold of yourself!" Yui hissed. "Do you even hear yourself!?"
Before she knew it, she felt her back slam painfully against the rough bark of the tree. Balder had whisked her around and slammed her against the tree, his hands gripping her upper arms.
"You have to listen, Yui. Please listen...please…"
Yui quickly noticed that his voice grew lower and his eyes flashed gold. Not a good sign.
Immediately, she shrugged his hands away, shoving him away, using more force than she was used to against his solid, impenetrable from. He gave a small grunt of confusion and Yui took that immediate opportunity to leave.
She raced a beeline to the Norse dorm, despite knowing that Balder was not following her. She had to get Thor and Loki to take care of him. He was too much for her to handle at the moment. He just might be too much for anyone to handle.
She caught Thor just as he was about to reenter his dorm to get some torches to aid in the lighting.
"Thor! Thor! Help!"
"Kusanagi?" he turned, confused and worried. He jumped a bit when she nearly collided headfirst into him.
"Hold on. What happened, Kusanagi?" he ushered her into the warmth of the dorm, where Loki was sitting in front of the fireplace, wrapped in a sheepskin blanket. Apparently the cold was a little too much for the fire god, and he had to take a reprieve from searching. He jerked and turned, eyes wide seeing Yui's haunted face. He jumped to his feet.
Thor kept his giant hands around her shoulders to keep her calm as she stuttered what she had encountered.
"He's out there...Balder...he's...I don't know. You have to help him! I tried to, but I really can't..."
"You found him!?" Loki exclaimed.
"Take us to him," Thor told her and with a nod from her, the two Norse gods followed her out.
Yui lead Thor and Loki back into the woods. It was dark and she was trying to remember where she saw Balder last. The wind was ice-cold and howling, the tops of the trees swaying against the force. Once they reached where Yui fled from Balder, to their relief, he was still there, sitting against the trunk of the tree, head lolled forward.
"Balder!" Loki called through the wind and ran up to his friend.
Groggily, Balder lifted his head, eyes unfocused. Realization seemed to hit him and all too quickly, he seemed to return to himself. His eyes began to water at seeing his friends.
"Loki!" he cried, voice wavering with unshed tears.
Loki quickly knelt down next to his friend, "Shhhh...It's alright Balder." He petted the top of his head. "Come on. Let's go inside."
Yui followed as they lumbered along the dark path to the dorm, Loki slightly struggling under the weight of Balder's arm around his shoulders. Balder lost his strength to keep from collapsing so Loki had to help him along.
She run up the path to assist with carrying Balder back to the dorm. The light god seemed to rolling in between consciousness and unconsciousness, his breathing unsteady. She politely made the point that Balder should be taken back to the infirmary, but Loki just kept going.
When they arrived at the dorm, Loki immediately set Balder down at the bar stool on the kitchen counter, where he lay, hunched over in his overlarged shirt, head down on the counter, eyes awake but not aware of the surroundings.
The other three just stood around the foyer, not at all speaking, much less discussing any of the events that had happened. It was Loki who spoke first.
"Well...we all should get some rest."
Thor grunted in agreement, but fixed Loki with a hard stare.
"I'll go tell the others to call off the search," he said brusquely before going back outside.
Balder couldn't hear whatever conversation they were having. All he could hear was pressure, buzzing, hissing, all the music of the natural world gone.
Yui decided, but not after weighing her options, to stay and rest on the couch of the Norse dorm, just in case something were to arise. Just as well, Thor insisted that she stay. It was cold and dark outside, and everyone was exhausted from the search. They both thought this was more convenient.
Thor and Loki helped Balder to bed and went to rest themselves, though it was obvious that they would not be sleeping. As much as Yui tried to, next to the warm fire and wool blankets covering her body, she knew that despite her physical comfort, she would not either.
As the night grew still and it seemed that everything was finally calm, Yui couldn't resist closing her eyes and she slowly starting to descend into a light stupor. Her mind, in the early stages of sleep, actually assembled pleasant images. Her shrine, thriving, and well honored. Her friends believing every word of her story about a school of gods. Her parents smiling as she recounted tales about her godly friends. She remembered thinking about Tsukito and telling her father about him and his eccentricities when she watched his head snap towards a slammed door.
Yui fell back into full consciousness, when she realized that the slammed door was in fact in reality. She jerked awake, staring at the door that lead outside. As she rose to her feet, Thor and Loki both opened their respective doors and called down the balcony.
"Was that what I think it was?" Thor asked.
"I'm sure the door closed. But I was half asleep so I can't be certain," Yui called back up, before her voice grew weak. "I'm assuming Balder…"
Thor stared over his shoulder at the redhead, lips tight. There was no denying that expression. And this time, his heart tearing into shreds, he no longer had the will to deny it. No longer could he ignore it. It wasn't fun anymore. It was fine to pretend when it was assumed Balder was homesick. Now, after everything was continuing at an increasingly dangerous rate, it wasn't fun to pretend anymore.
Wordlessly, Loki turned back to go into his rooms. Yui's eyes searched, confused as to what Loki was doing. He returned with something long and dangerous looking in his hand, and he held it upright as he trotted down the stairs, Thor at his heels.
As he reached the landing, she saw with the light of the dying embers, that the long, menacing object in his hand was actually curved dagger. It Yui a few seconds before she realized, with terror, that Loki was out to hurt his friend.
"Loki! Wait!" she called into the night air. The wind died down to the that of a still, unsettling breeze. She ran after their trudging figures, struggling a little in her nightgown, and pulled back on Loki's sleeve, "No, Loki, don't do this!"
He refused to look back at her, and instead he wrenched his arm out of her grasp, and continued on.
"Don't Loki. Time's not up yet, he could still-"
"WE HAVE NO TIME!" Loki roared, his voice surprisingly thunderous, and his eyes stormy with rage. He swiftly turned to resume his march in searching for their friend. As Yui tried to go after him, Thor interfered.
"Kusanagi, don't."
"But we can't just let-"
"Don't," Thor shook his head, voice and face trusting and understanding, yet he was resolved to see everything through. He jerked his head in the direction towards the school, "Go back to your dorm, Kusanagi. I don't want you to see this."
She gave the slight shake of her head, her chin quivering and then tore away from Thor, running past him towards Loki.
"Stop!"," she called.
Loki slowed to a stop and Yui's cries died in her throat. In the moonlight of the clearing, they could clearly see Balder standing in the middle of a clearing blanketed by moonlight. His face was both pained and serene, as if the light of the moon alleviated his pain only slightly. When he noticed that Loki was standing there, his eyes fluttered open, watery and bloodshot.
He looked so ill.
"Loki. Why did you follow me?" he asked weakly, barely managing a smile. He did not notice the dagger as Loki casually hid it behind his back.
"Oh, you know," Loki shrugged nervously. "See the stars I guess."
Balder nodded with a faint, "...yeah…" before tilting his head back to watch the stars.
Loki shook with anxiety, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, wondering if he should take this opportunity to stab him. Before he reached a decision, Balder glanced down at his friend, looking genuinely concerned.
"What's wrong…?"
Loki let out a soft sound like a small sob and shook his head vigorous, tears pricking his eyelids.
"Balder, I'm sorry," Loki said weakly as he pulled out his mistletoe blade and pointed it at him.
Balder stopped and stared at the dagger, eyes widening for a moment at the glistening sharp blade, hewn with mistletoe. He remained still and silent, before slowly raising his hands in a defenseless gesture.
Loki stood there, pointing the blade at him, eyes like steel, but his rushed breathing betrayed that he was not totally ready to strike him. He hated it. Just hated it. Why did Balder just have to...stand there? Hands up in surrender.
"Fucking fight me, godsdammit!" he thought bitterly. It would be so much easier, if Balder just upped and attacked. So much easier. Instead of just putting him down like a diseased dog who didn't know any better.
Loki's breath hissed between his clenched teeth, the hand clutching the dagger shaking.
"Loki…" Balder whispered, his eyes wide and sad. He lightly shook his head, as if to say, "Don't."
Yui spoke up, "Loki. Please don't do this."
"Would you just SHUT UP!" Loki roared. Thor came up behind her and held her still in his hands.
Loki took one heavy step towards his friend, Balder looking defeated and scared. He closed his eyes, working up the courage to just rush forward and get it over with. His feet however would not move.
Loki let out a roar and threw the dagger to the ground, where it lay harmless.
The red-headed god sank to his knees, weeping profusely, "I can't do it!"
"Loki!" Thor hissed.
"I can't do it. I'm so sorry…" he wiped his nose and eyes, withholding more sobs from his throat.
Thor was about to say something when Balder slowly approached the knife and picked it up, examining it with the curiosity of a Neanderthal finding the next civilization-changing tool. He brought it down, head hanging as he weighed it, realizing that the dagger was made specifically not to harm him, but to kill him.
Balder's voice was almost unrecognizable, "So this is how this will be."
Loki slowly got to his feet, immediately regretting ever relinquishing that hold on the weapon.
"Balder…you have to understand," Loki whispered, backing away. "I didn't think there was any other way. But…but…maybe there is. Come on Balder, let's just get home and get warm…and…and we'll talk about all this."
"I just can't take this…" Balder wheezed, his eyes weeping and glistening as if everything he ever loved and desired was lost. He was helpless. The dagger was in his hand, poised near his chest. It was hard to tell if he was going to attack them or himself.
As if they thought they could repair what was done, Loki and Yui tried to talk him down, "Balder, put the knife down. Put the knife down."
They tried to sound as calm as they could despite the panic deeply set in their chests. They were at a loss of what to believe or what could happen, now that he's got the mistletoe dagger.
"Yes, let's just go inside and talk," Yui's voice cracked horribly, tears spilling as her heart pounded in her ears. "Please, Balder. Just put the knife down."
Balder shook his head and pressed his hand to his forehead as if a massive migraine set in. His fingers clawed in his blond locks in anger and desperation as he cried out. Something hot and piercing plunged through his gut and spread through his body as he saw white and blazing anger…an anger that wasn't his but was consuming him. He didn't have time to think and just remembered seeing the looks of disappointment and fear on the faces of his friends when he picked up the dagger. He was stuck. His friends wanted him dead when he wanted help.
It's not their fault.
Balder slowly shook his head at his friends, tears escaping his eyes as his last bit of sanity gave him the strength and will to take his fate into his own hands.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered into the air, "but…no more…"
Thor, Loki, and Yui screamed as Balder brought the dagger to his throat and slashed it open. He fell to the ground with a thud, the dagger dropping from his hand.
Loki screamed for his name and Yui fell to her knees in shock, Thor holding onto her, staring on feeling absolutely helpless. Loki scrambled to Balder's body and held his head up. Blood was gushing from his throat and mouth like a fountain, the unpleasant gurgling sound escaping from Balder's lips as he was struggling to speak against the pain. His blue eyes were wide staring everywhere but nowhere as he convulsed. Blood pooled over Loki's hands onto Balder's chest and onto the ground. It sprayed a little with every retched cough and sputter.
"Hang in there!" Loki told him, doing his best to stop the bleeding with his hand, "Just hang on!"
Loki clung to Balder, desperately trying to fix the irreparable, yelling at Balder in hopes the god of light could get the will to stay alive just a few more minutes. But the expression on Balder's face sickened him. He wasn't going to let his best friend die with his face solid in that pained and confused gaze.
"Come on, don't die here!"
Balder's struggling slowed to a stop, the light in his eyes completely gone.
Then a cold chilling silence. Yui and Thor weren't sure what they were seeing was real and Loki was trying to find someway to believe that Balder really wasn't gone. In his mind there was still a chance. Always a chance that Balder would just sit back up and brush himself off. Loki thought he was prepared to see his friend go, but not like this. Not like a sacrificed goat with all this blood.
"Balder!?" his voice croaked as he tried to shake him to move. He turned to Thor and yelled so forcefully that his face was as red as his hair, "GET HELP NOW!"
Thor didn't budge. Later on, despite his opinion that Balder would be better off…gone, the God of Thunder thought that he should've ran to find someone who could help, but at the moment his muscles wouldn't move or respond to Loki's pleas.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? GO NOW!" Loki roared again. A flash broke the sky somewhere in the distance, but Loki paid no attention. Thor's eyes settled on the blood coating his half-brother's lifeless body. Was that how gods die?
A figure in red rushed out of the trees, his hand clenched on his staff. Zeus appeared, slightly out of breath, his brow furrowed in worry.
"What happened?!" he yelled.
Loki's mouth gaped, moving like a fish out of water. His tongue was too heavy to move.
"What happened, Loki Laevateinn?" Zeus asked pointedly, his eyes piercing an accusatory look on the god cradling Balder.
What could Loki say? He rambled all that he could find in his head, "He just…"
"What's going on!" the deep voice of Thoth pierced the darkness as came up beside Zeus. As soon as his eyes fell on the Balder he kept his mouth shut.
"You two can help him right?" Loki asked. His voice creaked in desperation. He even felt relieved to have the two gods he disagreed with the most here, but the disgusted look on their faces told him that their powers had no bearing here.
Thoth and Zeus knelt down by them. Thoth gently took Balder's body and placed it on the ground, checking the vitals.
"You can fix him?" Loki for a brief moment felt all that panic and fear escape his chest, but Thoth shook his white head.
"No," the God of Wisdom whispered. He too found it hard to form words, "H-he's gone. There's nothing I can do."
"Bullshit!" Loki cursed loudly as he stood, tears falling from his eyes. "You're the God of Wisdom. Where's your wisdom, now!?"
The older god's face was scrunched in disapproval, "Dammit, you idiot, knowing that he's dead and that there's nothing I can do IS my wisdom. He's lost too much blood and his heart has stopped beating. I'm sorry, Loki, but there's nothing we can do."
He turned to Zeus, "For certain he's dead."
Zeus' face changed. Minutely but it wasn't an expression one saw from Zeus very often. A mixture of panic and fear. His eyes stared searching the surroundings frantically as if expecting some monster to come out.
"Thoth take the body away, now!"
"Where?"
"I don't care, just do it!"
Zeus stared up at the dark sky, his ears tuned to squawking. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw two birds rise from the trees. Ice settled horribly in the pit of his stomach. He hated being afraid, but there was little he could do about the uncertainty ahead.
Loki cried out and went after Thoth to stop him from taking Balder's body away, but Zeus stepped in and pulled the struggling and weeping god away from the bloody scene. Loki kept screaming. He was inconsolable and dove for the bloody dagger.
Before Loki could copy Balder's final actions, Zeus knocked the dagger out his hands smacked him across the face with such force that sent Loki sprawling onto the ground.
"Enough!" Zeus' commanding voice roared. Loki braced his cheek staring up at the ruler of Olympus. His gold penetrating eyes were full of frustration, not at Loki, but at the situation, "Come to your senses. Thor!"
Thor blinked upon hearing his name.
"Take Kusanagi and Loki back to your dorm immediately."
Thor swallowed, his gaze shifting from a frozen Yui, to Thoth with Balder's body, to Loki and Zeus. He was slow at the start, his feet feeling like lead. He stood over a crying Loki, his own knees wobbling. He glanced once at Zeus before grabbing his friend's shoulders and helping him. He half carried Loki by the arm, and gathered Yui. He shook her shoulder and she jerked out of her frozen state. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and he could tell a sob was hanging in her throat.
"Come on," Thor said softly, trying not to succumb to his emotions. He helped her up and helped both Yui and Loki back to their dorm.
Once inside, Thor kept Loki in sight, forcing him to stay on the couch as the red-head let out choking cries until he couldn't cry anymore. Yui immediately rushed to the bathroom and vomited in the toilet, sobbing uncontrollably. Trying to keep his own sanity together was tough, but with two friends scared and distraught to the point of sickness, what could he do?
Be strong. Be a man. Don't cry.
Thor helped Yui up to his room to let her rest, and Loki had cried himself to sleep. He passed by Balder's empty room, pain entering his heart at the knowledge that it would never be occupied again. Thor's jaw was set hard as he softly closed the door. With each step he felt his chest tight and his resolve weaken. His nose and eyes stung with the weakening attempt keep a straight face. Trying to keep calm. Trying to convince himself that it was all for the best.
He made it to the kitchen and tried to busy himself by cutting himself some cheese and crackers. Yet, after cutting a few slices of smoked cheese, the knife felt heavy in his hand.
Did the knife feel this way when Balder held that dagger? Did it feel light, so easy to cut his own neck?
Thor dropped the knife and braced himself on the counter, flashes of Balder's final moments penetrating his mind. And they wouldn't leave.
Be a man. Strong gods don't cry. Strong gods don't…
Thor slammed his fist down on the counter once. It wasn't enough…
He gasped, and let out a soft sob, unable to keep it in. He wasn't strong. He had to cry.
A/N: We're closing in. One or two more chapters for this part. I made this chapter extra long for y'all. You know the drill, pals.