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Jane walked, tenth in line, holding tightly onto her suitcase as she marched. The eyes of those who remained, who weren't being taken from their houses, watched their every step. Ogling at them like animals in a zoo. Three people in front of her was one of her best friends Rita. She was a short and petite girl who got picked on in school. They were being taken from their homes to an unknown place. No one was told much. Just that they had to grab their things and leave. Everyone in her neighborhood who had been ordered by the government to wear the Star on their shirt trudged through the streets and tried to ignore the soldiers that loaded held guns.
Her arms and legs were tired from walking for so long. It seemed their journey would never end. They weren't allowed to talk so she was only able to look up at her father with a pleading look. As if he could do something. As if he wasn't as helpless as she was. Anxiety weighed her down and made it harder for her to walk. When she wasn't looking she tripped over a rock and landed on her hands and knees.
Her father immediately dropped down to her side. "Jane, you need to get up." He told her as he tugged on her arm.
Jane tried to push herself up but only fell back to the ground when pain shot up her leg from her ankle. "I can't." she choked out. Panic crashed over her as she wondered if it was broken.
"Jane, you have to get up." Now he was pleading. The desperation in his voice only made her feel more panicked. What exactly was he so scared of?
She got her answer only seconds later when she heard the booming and authoritive voice of a soldier behind her. "What's going on here?" when she turned to look at him she found herself only able to look at the machine gun in his hands that was easily as long as her torso. "Get up and keep going."
"I can't." her voice came out fragile and weak sounding. Jane knew she said the wrong thing the second the words left her lips.
The solider gave no reply as he held up the gun and pointed it right at her face. The barrel was only inches away from her and if she squinted she might have been able to make out the bullet that was about to put a hole through her head. There was no time to scream or make an attempt to get away. She could only wait.
Jane gasped for air as she bolted upright in bed, her arms flailing at her sides. Her eyes desperately scanned the room for any sign of danger. Instead she only found the room she had moved into the day before. She had borrowed a mirror and clock that weren't being used in an attempt to make the room homier. According to the clock it was just past seven AM. The last time she had checked the time it had been almost three in the morning. Jane considered staying in bed just a little bit longer until she thought of the possibility of breakfast. She hadn't eaten much dinner the night before, too nervous to have an appetite. But now she was starving.
She dug around in the dresser for clothes to change into. Jane picked out both her favorite pants and shirt, hoping they might make her feel better. Back at school the other girls used to tease her for looking so boyish. The boys had gotten used to it and hardly even thought of her as a girl. With one glance in the mirror she already felt a bit more like her old self. The dress and braid had been a version of her that didn't at all represent who she was. But her mess of curls and petite figure hidden under baggy clothes was what she felt most herself in.
As she climbed out of the closet and headed down towards the stairs she wondered if pretending to be some prim and proper girly girl would backfire on her. What would the family think of her? Would they be as accepting of her tom boyishness as they had been of her the day the day before? The possibility that they wouldn't be made her consider turning around and running back to her room. But she was already on the first floor and could hear the family chatting in the dining room.
All five pairs of eyes landed on her as she stepped in the doorway. Next to Mike was a bowl of hot cereal and a small plate of fruit. She wasn't surprised that, with her luck, the only open seat would be next to him. They hadn't spoken a word since they were in the library and, though it could have easily been her mind playing tricks on her, she could feel tension in the air. She could feel his eyes glued to her as she lowered herself into the chair next to him. Jane listened as the rest of the family went back to discussing a news report that had been on the radio that morning. She desperately hoped his attention would move off of her.
"Your hair." He said bluntly.
It didn't come as much surprise that her wish didn't come true.
"What about it?" she asked before stabbing a strawberry with her fork and popping it in her mouth.
Though her eyes were fixed in front of her she could see him watching her in his peripheral vision. "I didn't think it was curly."
"You don't know much about me." She pointed out. "Guess I'm full of surprises."
Jane listened to what the others were saying as silence fell over the two teens. She pretended not to be interested when they said that the Japanese had bombed the Americans and that they were likely going to join the war. The Wheelers didn't seem to agree with the views of the Nazi party considering they were hiding a Jewish girl in their house. Still she planned on being mindful of what she said. 'You never know' her father had been saying since the start of the war. It was best to keep her mouth shut until she got a better idea on where they stood.
"I wonder what it's like." Nancy said in between spoonful's of oatmeal. "To be bombed."
Karen looked sharply up from her breakfast to glare at her daughter. "Don't wonder such things." She snapped. "It's bad luck."
Nancy set her spoon down. "We haven't had one air raid within miles of here once." She replied sharply. "Don't you think it's a bit suspicious?"
"Nancy."
But she ignored her mother and looked over at Jane. "Did they have any air raids where you're from?"
Nearly everyone's mouths dropped open in shock. As if they couldn't believe what they were hearing. But Jane recognized the expression on Nancy's face. It was the same one she always wore when she was trying to prove a point. She wondered if they were both stubborn girls who got scolded by their parents often. The thought made her less reluctant to answer the question. "Yeah." She said. Jane tried her best to not sound too bothered by the fact. "A few times."
Next to her Mike's eyes looked just about ready to pop out of his head. "What's it like?"
Jane shrugged. She wasn't used to so many people paying such close attention to her. "It's better sometimes than others. When it's quiet no one gets really worried other than the kids. But when it's loud that means it's close and everyone get's nervous."
Holly, who sat across from her, spoke up. Though Jane wasn't exactly the best with kids Holly seemed like a sweet girl. Plus she was her host too. "We do drills at school." She announced. "We all go in the hallway and do this." She tilted her head down towards her chest and put her hand on top of her head.
Jane's reply slipped right out before she could stop herself. "That's not really what you're supposed to do." It was the perfect example of why she wasn't good with kids. She just didn't know how to talk to them.
"Then what do you do?" Ted Wheeler asked. She did her best to ignore the skepticism in his voice.
She set her spoon down and avoided looking at anyone. "Well if you do that and something falls on top of you you're guaranteed to break your neck." Jane said. "The best thing to do it find a bomb shelter that isn't underneath a building. That way if it collapses there's not much that's coming down."
Jane had known for a while that those who lived closer to the city had to worry more about air raids than those who lived more towards the country. But she didn't think that they wouldn't know what to do. She and her friends were convinced that the 'hands over the head' procedure was made up just to make people feel safer and more prepared. She looked at their expressions, all of them looking a little nervous. "Do you guys have a bomb shelter?"
"We have a shed out in the backyard." Karen replied. "Do you think that will work?"
"Yeah, that's fine." She lied. It was better than nothing. And if it was the best they could do she figured it was best to make them feel better about it.
With her reassurance the conversation quickly moved to other topics, but Jane's mind stayed put on air raids. She intended on sneaking out to inspect the shed as soon as she could.
xXx
"What's that sound?"
Jane was standing in the kitchen next to Nancy and cutting up onions. She'd been living with the Wheelers for several weeks and had started helping out with dinner in hopes of feeling more useful. Though she felt more relaxed and less on edge she had yet to feel at home. She wasn't sure she ever would. Any time company was over she had to hide up in her room until someone came up to let her know she could come out. It wasn't the same as living in the small house with her father and barely making ends meet but it was safe. She knew very well that all he had wanted was for her to be safe.
But when she heard the sound of a very familiar siren she longer felt safe. Her stomach plummeted and she dropped the knife onto the counter. "Air raid." She said simply before turning back to Nancy. The fear she could feel bubbling up her throat from the pit of her stomach was mirrored on the other girls' face.
Without another word they bolted for the back door. From several places inside the house she could hear hurried and frantic footsteps. Karen and Ted were close behind her as they scrambled out from the living room and she managed to catch a glimpse of Mike barreling down the stairs. Jane, who was the first in line, flung the back door open and sprinted out to the shed across the lawn. She hadn't taken one step outside since she entered the Wheeler house. Under any other circumstances she would have been worried about the neighbors seeing her. The fresh spring air felt harsh in her lungs. But she kept running.
Once she reached the small shed she ripped the door open and held it open until Nancy reached her. As the rest of the family came crashing in she searched for a light. Jane had heard of some areas in Germany shutting off the power during in an air raid so that, once night fell, houses would disappear into the dark. The sky had turned a deep shade of orange and she figured, if they were in fact in one of those areas, they would have light for at least a few minutes.
The shed door closed once Mike was safely inside and left them seeing nothing but black. They all bumped into one another as they searched for the light switch. The only sound was heavy breathing and sirens in the distance. They harmonized in a haunting tune she didn't think she would ever forget. Ted was the first to find the switch and illumined the small shed when he flicked it on. Though the second he did Jane wished he hadn't. She found herself unable to look in the fearful faces of the family. Instead she looked down at the ground and her old ratty sneakers.
"Everyone okay?" Karen asked between pants.
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
It was a miracle that Holly wasn't a sobbing mess.
Wait a second…
Jane looked up from the floor to once again search the shed. Only this time she was looking for a familiar set of blonde pigtails. Ted and Karen stood across from her, both with flushed faces from running. And there was no denying Mike and Nancy were present since she was squished in between them. But the girl was nowhere to be seen.
Nancy seemed to be able to read her mind because moments later she spoke up. "Where's Holly?"
Just as panic began to settle over the rest of them Jane pushed past Mike, who stood between her and the door. No one seemed to register what she was doing until she pushed the doors open and sprinted back across the yard towards the house. She could hear them calling after her as she ran but didn't dare look back to see if they were following her.
The back door was still wide open so she simply ran inside. The sound of sirens in the distance weren't quite loud enough to overpower her footsteps echoing through the house. She darted from room to room on the first floor with no sign of the little girl. Jane ran from room to room, looking underneath tables and chairs. The more places she checked with no sign of her the more her chest seemed to tighten. Breathing became more and more difficult as she ran through the house. Just as she reached the bottom of the stairs the lights in the house died and left her eyes struggling to see.
Awesome.
Jane held her hands out in front of her as she started to climb up the stairs. She was only halfway up when her eyes began to adjust to the darkness. Though she was only able to make out general shapes, and she stumbled on a few of the steps, she continued as fast as she could. The house was so big and had so many rooms that she felt helpless. There were so many places for a scared little girl to hide.
"Holly!" she yelled into the darkness as she started opening every door on the second floor. "Holly where are you?!" Jane wanted to scream at the sirens to shut up so she could listen for a reply.
She made it all the way down to the end of the hallway and there was still no sign of her. Jane turned around and ran back over to the stairs. There weren't as many rooms on the third floor as there were on the second. She told herself that Holly would be up there. She had to be. Jane refused to let herself think about the possibility that Holly had run outside somewhere. Just one of the many pieces of advice her dad had given her echoed in the back of her head. Never be a hero he had said the heroes are the first to die.
Jane had always been rubbish at following directions.
"Holly!" she yelled once she was on the top floor. "Holly it's Jane!" the more doors she opened the more her heart started to pound. What if she couldn't find her? What if she ran away? What if, what if, what if? By the time Jane reached the old nursery door she was sure she was going to have an anxiety attack. She pushed the door open and frantically looked around the room. In the darkness she was just able to make out a shape towards the back of the room. She might not have thought much of it if she couldn't hear the sound of soft sobbing.
"Holly?"
"Jane!"
The dark shape moved and came closer until Holly was close enough to be seen. Her little arms clamped around Jane's leg and she count instantly feel tears starting to soak through her pants. "What's going on?!" she cried.
Jane bent down and picked the girl up, resting her on her hip before turning out of the room. "Everything's going to be okay." She said in her best attempt to comfort her. "We just have to get outside."
She felt Holly's arms wrap tightly around her neck. "I was looking for you because I thought you would know what to do."
"It's okay." Jane said. "I'm here."
She couldn't run down the steps nearly as fast as she would have liked in fear of dropping Holly. Though the girl could walk for herself Jane doubted she would be able to keep up. Besides, she was scared out of her was not going to take the chance of getting separated. As terrified as she felt she could only imagine what was going through Holly's head. Jane had been through an air raid before (though she had always been in the safety of an underground bomb shelter instead of a shed out in the country) and she knew what to expect. The whole experience was foreign and new to her.
She held tightly onto Holly as she ran as fast as her legs would carry her down to the first floor. Halfway down the second store staircase she heard what sounded like someone's voice. For a moment she wondered if the anxiety and stress had finally gotten to her. Maybe she'd finally reached her breaking point and her mind was playing tricks on her. She forced herself to brush it off until she heard the voice again, closer and clear enough to recognize. "Jane!"
"Mike?!"
She reached the bottom of the staircase on the first floor just in time to see the lanky boy stumble out of the dining room and into view. His cheeks were flushed and he looked almost as out of breath as she felt. Instead of turning around and running back out the door towards the shed (which is what she would have done) he hurried right over to her.
"What the hell are you doing?!" she yelled. Though he may have been able to hear her fine if she hadn't yelled she tended to get louder when she was stressed.
"Looking for you!" he shouted back.
Before she could respond, which was disappointing since she was the type that liked to have the last word, he grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her in the direction of the back door.
Just before they stepped outside there was a loud BOOM. The ground beneath them shook hard enough to cause them to stumble. Jane quickly grabbed onto his shoulder to keep herself and Holly upright. The sound of the bomb was much too close for her liking. She saw him look over at her but she refused to meet his gaze. It was bad enough that one person looked to her for guidance on air raids. Just as they felt stable enough to walk again and started back for the door she could hear the sound of a plane flying overhead.
"Wait!" she yelled, grabbing onto the back of his shirt and tugging him backwards.
He managed to catch himself before he turned towards her with his eyebrows pulled together. "What?"
"If we go out now the planes could see us." She said. "That would just make us a target. We have to wait until they pass."
They stood side by side next to the door in silence. Holly had buried her face in Jane's neck and shook as she continued to cry. She rubbed the girls back in what was a hopeless attempt to comfort her. How she wished someone would comfort her. Jane remembered how air raids were back at home. The towns bomb shelter wasn't far from her house. She and her friends and their parents would all crown around. She would be sandwiched between her father and her friends and they would all hold each other. The pain of how much she missed them hit her like a train.
Mike seemed to notice the tears rolling down her cheeks before she did. He looked over at her and the worried expression he wore only got worse. He pulled his sleeve down over his hand before reaching for her face and wiping away the few drops that had escaped her eyes. Her eyes fell down to the floor the second he touched her. She felt stupid and foolish for appearing so weak. Jane had to be strong for her father and all her friends that had been taken. And for her mom who died too sick and weak to even stand up on her own.
Mike's hand left her cheek once her face was dry. She only had time to miss the contact for a moment before she felt his fingers slip between hers. Jane immediately felt as if her face was on fire but she didn't dare move an inch. Instead she stared out at the shed, which she could just barely make out in the dark, and pray it would all be over soon.