whops sorry I went a second without updating, but I'm back. I'm also sorry to say that the story will be winding down soon (only about four chapters left). But for now enjoy this update :)
The sunlight pouring in through the window made Jane's eyes burn before she even opened them. It was much brighter than it normally was in her room in the morning. Maybe the sun and the earth were perfectly aligned just to get into her eye. Her head started pounding as soon as she started to drift back into consciousness. It definitely helped her feel better that her bed was comfier than usual. She wanted to pull the blankets over her head and go back to sleep but she was too tired to move an inch.
Memories of the night came flooding back to her like a tidal wave. Her eyes flew open and quickly did a once over of the room. Mike's room. Jane felt her cheeks getting warm as she realized she must have fallen asleep before she had the chance to go back up to her room. Jane forced herself up and on to her elbows. She must have crashed somewhere around 3 AM. After the night she had 'crashed' seemed like the right word. Once the adrenaline wore off she couldn't have been awake for very long.
Her eyes landed on Mike sitting up next to her. His legs were pulled close to his chest and his chin rested on one of his knees. He stared at a spot on the wall in front of him but his eyes were hazy and far away looking. Even though he wasn't facing her she could already see that dark circles had settled underneath his eyes. Worry quickly woke her right up.
Jane pushed herself upright and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. His eyes remained fixed on nothing just a second too long. She only had time to worry for a few moments before he blinked a couple of times and turned his head to look at her. Everything in his face changed in an instant back to the Mike she was used to.
Her eyes landed on the shadows under his eyes that were darker than she had expected them to be. She felt her eyebrows pull towards one another. "How long have you been up?" she asked
Mike shrugged. "I don't know. A while." A smile spread on his face. "Thank you for staying with me. It helped a lot."
She grinned back at him. His smile was like a contagious disease powerful enough to dominate her stubbornness. "I don't think I could have left if you wanted me to."
He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head. "You snore a little bit, you know."
Jane bumped her shoulder against his. "Shut up." She said. Jane rested her head on his shoulder and put one of her arms around his waist. Though she no longer felt controlled by her worries of losing him and how convincing his words were she, surprisingly, didn't feel as frightened as she thought she would. It was hard to be scared of the 'what ifs' when he held onto her so gently and smiled at her as brightly as the sun that leaked in through the window across the room.
It was late. She could tell by how low the sun was and how it had already warmed up the room. Jane groaned softly and picked her head back up. "I have to go get dressed." She said as she moved towards the edge of the bed. Her skin felt cold where he had once been and she resisted the urge to crawl back into his arms.
"Why, you going somewhere?"
She shot him a weak glare as she got to her feet and put her slippers back on, but he only smiled back at her. "I'll be down in a second." Jane said and started for the door. "Do not eat all of the eggs again."
Mike rolled his eyes and started to push himself off the bed. "I'll consider myself warned." His voice was heavy with sarcasm.
She shook her head as she headed for the stairs. As she walked to her room she replayed the night over and over again in her mind. Air raids were nothing compared to the hours she had spent worrying that Mike would never come home. She hadn't been so scared since her mother got sick. It was the waiting that had the biggest effect on her. Waiting for the sickness to take over her body. Waiting for the sound of the sirens to die down. Waiting for Mike to walk through the front door.
Jane pulled her sweatshirt over her head. Mascara mixed tears were littered across the fabric and the smell of smoke had transferred onto her throughout the night. She tossed her clothes into the laundry hamper and pulled out clean ones from her dresser. Jane knew she must have lost weight since moving in because Nancy's hand-me-downs fit her better than her own clothes. After brushing out the knots in her hair she ducked out of the closet and out into the nursery. Just as she reached the staircase she heard the doorbell echoing throughout the house.
Her heart stopped immediately. Every muscle in her body froze when she heard footsteps on the first floor followed by the sound of the door being opened. Were they supposed to have company? Was a friend of Mike's coming to check on him?
She listened as hard as she could. She didn't move a muscle and held her breath so she could hear better. Jane just managed to make out Karen's voice from up on the third floor. "Oh, hello officers. What can I do for you?"
Officers.
"We heard that your son was at the bombing last night." She heard a man's voice say. His voice sounded like it belonged to someone as tall as Mike and as buff as her dad. And a lot meaner than both of them. "We're trying to interview everyone who was there so we can figure out exactly what happened. It's routine, I hope you understand."
Jane turned around and tiptoed back to her room as she heard Karen call for Mike up the stairs. She closed the nursery door behind her and hurried into the closet. Though the door to her room blended into the wall perfectly (there was no handle, all someone had to do to open it was push) she still closed the closet doors. Once she was inside her room she went over to the other side of her bed and slid down to the floor. There was just enough space between her bed and the wall for her to fit.
Then she waited.
She focused on her breathing as she watched the minute hand on the clock spin around. Five minutes went by, then ten. The more time that passed without someone coming up to get her the more nervous she got. What the hell was taking so long?
Jane felt her chest tightening until she couldn't breathe at the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. Two pairs of footsteps. She pulled her legs up to her chest and hid her head between her knees. They were going to find her. They were going to take her. It was only hours after Mike had convinced her that he was going to keep her safe and what she had been dreading was going to happen.
She forced herself not to cry so she could stay silent. Had her dad hid when they came for him? Had Gwen or Rita? Did they even have the time to try and hide? Jane had seen people get taken before. A family down the street from her house had been dragged out of their house a few years back. They had a son a year or two younger than she was. He had elbowed one of the soldiers in the stomach and tried to get to his mother. They knocked him out cold with their gun. Would they do that to her when she tried to get to Mike?
When she heard the nursery door open the only thing she could think of to make herself feel better was the thought that she might be reunited with someone she knew when they took her away. Maybe she'd be taken to the same place as her neighbors and she and the boy could exchange stories of how they tried to fight back. The moments that followed the nursery door opening were deafening. She just wanted to get it over with.
She jumped at the sound of the soldiers' voice so close to her room. He must have been standing in the middle of the nursery. "Sorry to inconvenience you like this, Mrs. Wheeler." She could hear him say. His voice made her feel angry and frightened all at the same time. "But it's routine for us to check houses. Just in case"
"Oh, that's no problem." Karen replied brightly. She sounded like a good actress. "We have nothing to hide. If that's all you need I'll show you downstairs."
Their footsteps retreated out of the room and got softer and softer until they disappeared entirely. But even after they were gone Jane didn't dare move an inch. At any moment the solider could turn around and decide to open the closet. She squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could with her head still in her knees and waited.
And waited some more.
She had no idea how much time had passed when she heard footsteps running up the staircase and towards her room. Two minutes? Three, five? Her whole body clenched the same way it had when she heard the solider coming up. What if someone let it slip at the last second and he was coming back up to get her? Jane's heart stopped when she heard the nursery door fly open and slam against the wall. She might have only had a few seconds left.
"Jane?"
She picked her head up just in time to see Mike burst through the door. His eyes frantically searched the room for her until he spotted her hiding spot. Jane didn't get the chance to try and stand before he came over and knelt down in front of her. She couldn't hold back her tears as she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.
Mike sat down on the floor next to her and locked his arms around her waist. "Hey, it's okay." He whispered in her ear. "He's gone now. It's okay."
"I thought they were going to take me." She cried. Her voice was muffled in his neck and she knew her tears would soak the collar of his shirt in no time. But she was too afraid to pull away.
He started to rub her back gently. He no longer smelled like smoke, which was a relief. "That's never going to happen. Look at me, Jane." She picked her head up just enough to meet his gaze before his hands moved to hold her face. "I will never let them take you away from us."
She felt her bottom lip start to tremble. He sounded so sure. It was usually so hard to not believe him just a little bit but for once she wasn't convinced. A solider had come into the house. What was Mike going to do if it happened again? Fight a Nazi? Her fate would be decided the second someone found her. It was just a matter of how long she survived afterwards. Jane just didn't have the heart to tell Mike how wrong he was. Especially because she wanted so badly to believe him.
They sat on the floor for almost 20 minutes before Jane felt ready to leave. He didn't try to rush her or try to convince her it was safe. He let her take all the time she needed. Once she got to her feet Mike held tightly onto her hand as she walked out of the nursery and down the hall. Her legs felt shaky and she kept expecting the solider to pop out of nowhere and take her away. She held onto his hand so hard that she was surprised he didn't complain.
The whole family was sitting in the living room when they got downstairs. Under different circumstances she might have let go of his hand and gotten embarrassed. But she didn't dare let go of him for a second. Holly sat on the couch with little tears running down her cheeks. When she saw them walk in the room her face lit up and she quickly hopped off the couch and ran over to her. She wrapped her arms tightly around Jane's leg. "I was so scared that he was going to find you." Holly said in between sniffles.
Jane bent down and picked her up. Her little arms then clamped around her neck. "Well you don't have to worry about that anymore. He's gone and I'm still here, right?" She rubbed Holly's back as she rested her head on Jane's shoulder.
She could feel Holly nodding. "Mike looked so scared I thought he was going to throw up." She said.
Jane immediately looked over at him while one of her eyebrows raised high on her forehead. "Did he, now?" she asked
A light coat of blush rose to his cheeks. "I think she's being a little dramatic." He mumbled.
"Yeah, sure." She said as she walked over to the couch and sat down. Holly stayed curled up on her lap and her sniffles slowly became less and less frequent. Mike came over and sat in the spot next to her.
Ted and Karen sat in the couch across from them while Nancy sat in one of the chairs. Karen, who was still wearing her apron, let out a sigh. "Thank god you were already upstairs." She said. "I was afraid you would still be asleep."
"I'd only been awake for five minutes at the most." Jane told her. The possibility hadn't even occurred to her that she might have slept through the solders arrival. What if she had still been in Mike's room when he showed up? The thought made her cheeks flush. Getting taken away would have been bad enough if she hadn't just been caught in bed with a boy. "Do you think another one will show up?"
Ted sighed and pushed his glasses higher up on his nose. "I'm not sure." He admitted. "The school is a relatively short drive from here. Less than half an hour. Not to mention the bomb that went off less than a mile away back in May, too. It's hard to say." He must have picked up her nervousness because he quickly added "But may be worrying for nothing. They probably have better things to worry about than our little neighborhood."
She caught a look at Mike's face just a moment before he spoke up. His expression was tight and strained. "Yeah but what if they do come back?" he asked. "What are we going to do?"
Ted and Karen exchanged a look. Jane figured they had been too busy convincing themselves that she was perfectly safe from soldiers inside the house that they hadn't stopped to consider the possibility that she wasn't. "We'll figure it out, okay?" Ted answered. "Everything's fine right now so we don't have to worry for a little while."
Jane glanced at Mike who looked completely unconvinced by his father's words. She squeezed his hand gently, not tight enough for anyone to notice. He let out a small sigh and looked down at their hands. It seemed he too wasn't too embarrassed to hold onto her I front of his parents. "Hey, Holly." She said looking down at the little girl. "Do you want to keep me company while I go have some cereal?"
"Okay." Holly said cheerfully before hopping off of her lap. Before heading out of the room she looked over at Mike. "Are you going to eat breakfast too?"
Mike's clearly worried expression was replaced with a smile as he pushed himself off of the couch. "Yeah, sure, I'm starving."
Holly walked a few feet in front of them, almost just out of ear shot. She once again squeezed his hand to get his attention. His contagious smile had once again fallen since they left the living room. "You worried about me?" she asked quietly so Holly wouldn't hear.
Mike's lips twitched in the way Jane's always did before she started smiling again. "Yeah." He admitted. "I am worried about you. I'm always worried about you." He looked down at her. "Are you worrying about me worrying about you?"
"Yes." Jane bumped her shoulder against his. Well, more like his arm since she was too short to reach his shoulder. "Everything's going to be fine, right? Isn't that what you've been telling me for months?"
He shrugged. "Yeah, I know." Mike said. "But I just really thought I was going to lose you for a second. And it scared me. A lot."
She brushed her fingers against him again. "I'm still here, Mike." She said, "You're not getting rid of me yet. You're stuck with me for a little while longer."
Mike smiled wide enough that it reached his eyes. Jane was pretty sure he could light up an entire room. "I really wish I could kiss you right now." He muttered through gritted teeth.
Jane immediately felt her face catch on fire. She glanced forward at Holly who was already in the kitchen and pulling out a chair. "You'll have to wait. Think you can handle it?"
"I waited four months." Mike pointed out. "I think I'll be fine."
When they made it into the kitchen Jane grabbed three bowls from the cabinet while Mike got the milk and cereal. Jane asked Holly about school and they both listened to her babble as they ate. Jane was amazed not only that Holly would one day be all grown up but that she had once been so small. It was even more astonishing that Mike had also once been so small. She sat close enough to him that she could reach for his hand underneath the table but not too close that it was noticeable.
It was practically a miracle that most of the nervousness she typically felt around him had disappeared overnight. She knew that if her friends could see her holding hands with a cute boy that they would be incredibly proud of her. They would probably faint if she told them she had spent the night in his room and kissed him.
About an hour later Jane went up to get her photo album back from Nancy's room. Since she'd forced herself to look through it the book wasn't nearly as intimidating as it had once been. As she walked out of Nancy's room she glanced down at her much younger smiling face staring back up at her. It was amazing how quickly the events of the war could ruin everything. Kids were hardly as innocent as she had once been. The fact that Holly had to worry about bombings and soldiers made her feel bitter again.
She looked back up from the book and spotted Mike's open bedroom door down the hall. A smile, not quite as big as the one she wore in the picture, spread on her face as she headed towards his room. Jane stood in the doorway and spotted him sitting with his back to her on his bed. His hair was a tad messy and his elbows were rested on his knees. She knocked her knuckle against the door gently. "Mike?"
His posture straightened and he glanced over his shoulder to look at her. She barely got a chance to analyze his expression before it changed into a smile. Jane only took a few steps into his room before he got to his feet and met her halfway. "What's that?" he asked when he spotted the album tucked under her arm.
"Some photos." She told him. Behind his ever illuminating smile she could still see a hint of worry in his eyes. "What's wrong? Are you still worried about me?"
Mike sighed. "Jane, I'm worried about you every second of every day. Most of the time I'm just able to hide it better." His eyes drifted back down to the album. "Can I look?"
She nodded, "Yeah, sure." Jane handed it to him and followed as he walked over to his bed, but her mind was stuck on what he had said. Was he really always so worried about her? It was a surprise he wasn't totally exhausted. She was already tired enough from worrying about Mike so much for one night.
Jane sat close next to him and watched his expression as he opened up the cover. A constant smile was on his face as he flipped through the pictures. He lingered on one from her twelfth birthday. She was sat in front of a cake with her parents on either side of her and Gwen and Rita standing behind them. Jane remembered that her and her mother had made and decorated the cake themselves. Her mother had already gotten sick and had started to deteriorate but she was still strong enough to have a good time. "You look like her." He said quietly.
She smiled a little bit. It was something she had been told for almost her entire life. "She always looked younger than she was and I always looked older." Jane said. "People used to ask if we were sisters."
Mike smiled even wider. "Who's behind you?"
"My best friends. That's Rita, that's Gwen." Jane thought about how much of a shame it was that they'd yet to get the chance to meet Mike. She longed for the teasing they would have done and that she couldn't ask them for advice on handling her feelings. "Rita was kind of popular. She had more money than we did and everyone in school liked her. She always got invited to parties. But she would never go if we couldn't."
For the first time Mike looked away from the album and up at her. "I hope I get to meet them one day."
Jane felt her throat start to burn so she tore her eyes away from him and down at the album. "There's a picture here I know you'll want to see." She said before turning to the page where the picture from the dance was. His eyes went wide and he held it up closer to his face. "This was the last dance I ever went to."
An ear to ear grin was spread on his face. "You're so young and cute." He said.
"I remember that night Gwen had this plan to get this boy from our grade to ask her to dance." Jane told him. "She made us come over beforehand so we could help her get ready. I don't know why she asked me, though. My attempt at doing my makeup was so pathetic that Rita had to do it over for me."
"Did she get the boy to dance with her?"
Jane grinned. "Sort of. She ended up asking him to dance because he didn't get the hint." She remembered how frustrated her friend had been when she marched right over to him. "Then they both had someone to dance with, and they felt bad for me, so Rita got her guys friend to ask me to dance."
"Oh yeah?" Mike asked. "Was he cute?"
She bumped her shoulder against his. "He was the same height as me and he kept stepping on my toes." Jane wrapped her arms around his waist. "You know what I was thinking about last night? Before the bombing."
Mike looked back over at her. "What?"
"I was thinking that if me and my friends had been at the dance they would have been fighting over you." She told him. "They both have a thing for older guys. Rita told us she would never date anyone shorter than 5'11 and last Christmas Gwen had a bad break up and said 'if his GPA is lower than 3.5 he's not worth my time'."
Mike laughed. "Your friends sound hilarious." He said. "Who do you think would win the fight?"
"Me." Jane answered. "They would be too busy bickering so I would walk over to you and they probably wouldn't even notice."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "And what would you say to me?"
Jane grinned and got to her feet. She walked a short distance away with her back to him before turning around and walking over to him once again. The smile he wore was contagious and her face twitched as she tried to fight one off. It wasn't quite the same in his bedroom as it would have been in an actual school dance but she did her best to pretend. Jane held out her hand to him. "I don't know how to dance very well and I'm total rubbish at talking about my feelings." She said. "But my friends and I were fighting over you and I hate losing arguments. So I think you should dance with me."
Mike's smile grew, if it was even possible, and he grabbed her hand and got to his feet. "That is an offer I could not refuse." He said as he wrapped one of his arms around her waist.
"What can I say?" she said sarcastically. "I just have a way with words."
Jane put her hand that wasn't wrapped around his on the back of his neck. She pulled him down and stood on her toes so she could reach him. Even after the number of kisses he'd given her before she fell asleep she still felt her whole body start to buzz. She would have felt less electricity if she grabbed onto a live wire with her bare hands.
Even if she didn't believe that she was safe from the soldiers, and knew there was a possibility that she could be taken at any time, she figured she might as well enjoy her time with the Wheelers. Now that she had given in she couldn't figure out why she had resisted her feelings for Mike so strongly. If she had known how good it would feel to kiss him and how alive she would feel when he touched her she likely wouldn't have pushed him away for so long.
"Hey lovebirds." Nancy's voice said interrupting her thoughts. Matching coats of blush covered their faces as they pulled away and spotted her standing in the doorway. She wore her fluffy robe and a smirk as she grabbed onto the door handle. "Close the door next time. I won't keep your little secret if you guys don't try to either." She winked at them before pulling the door shut.
Jane rested her forehead on Mike's chest. She was almost as embarrassed as she had felt when Nancy coaxed an admission of her feelings out of her. But she felt a little bit better when she felt him kiss the top of her head.