A/N: Here is the next chapter. I couldn't have you waiting too long for the update. Not sure when I will have the next chapter up, depends on how long this flow of conscious I have going on lasts. Hope you like it. Please let me know what you think by posting a review. Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. Glee belongs to its creators and FOX.

Ch.33

Judy's first urge was to rush over and pull Quinn into her arms and never let her go and for the first time since Quinn showed up at Leroy and Hiram's door step she followed that instinct and did not hesitate. She pulled Quinn to her and buried her face into Quinn's hair, the smell of lavender and books. Her baby was home. Glancing over the top of her daughter's head she caught sight of Noah Puckerman, she mouthed a thank you which was responded with a shrug before the boy turned and left. Eventually Judy pulled away her hands still cupping Quinn's small beautiful face. "I am so sorry." Judy said.

"Why?" was all Quinn replied with.

"Rachel found it, we yelled at her told her to put it away but then she started to read to me an entry and, oh God Quinn, I am so so sorry, I should have fought harder, I should have taken you away from him." Judy cried as she remembered the words her eldest wrote about the horrible treatment her youngest endured at the hands of her ex-husband.

"Wouldn't that have been kidnapping or something." Quinn smiled softly. Judy nodded before leading Quinn over to their couch. Judy hadn't been sure of what she would do when and if Quinn came home but now as she sat across from her daughter who looked like a frightened baby rabbit she knew what needed to be done what needed to be done long ago.

"Quinn we need to talk." Judy started.

"You want me to leave." Quinn interrupted quickly and tried to stand.

"No." Judy pulled Quinn down and turned her scared daughter's face towards her. "No I don't, I never want you to leave. This is why we need to talk; we need to get everything out, our feelings, the things that have happened to us, our fears. We need a new clean slate Quinn so that we can finally be happy and move on together."

Quinn gently nodded her understanding but said nothing, Judy wasn't surprised it was clear that she would have to start. She would have to bare her to her daughter, reveal all her secrets, mistakes, and faults so that Quinn could finally feel free to open up to Judy.

"I'll go first okay." Judy pulled Quinn into her side as she started. "I'm not sure what you remember, but the first time your father put you in closet as punishment I found you, I took you and your sister away and immediately filed for divorce. As you know your father was powerful man in Belleville and he had you taken for me. We went to court and I lost all rights to you and your sister."

"You said that before." Quinn reminded her. Judy laid a kiss to the top of her head, "I did, but I never really told you what happened after that. Two weeks later I tried to see you, I went to your school. Of course your father had warned the school and I was picked up by the police. That day your father filed a restraining order against me, I couldn't go within 200 yards of you or your sister. It broke my heart but I was determined to get you back, I just need to find something against your father that would prove that he was not whom everyone thought. So I stayed close by and waited, I followed him, I talked to his friends, people from his work. I wasn't very subtle and I paid for it. Your father had me picked up again; he threatened to file harassment charges unless I left him and you girls alone. I had to comply; no judge would side with me if I had a record. It was year later that Frannie died."

Judy paused, the image of Frannie's broken body on that cold metal slab in the coroner's office was to much to bare. "Your sister made me her emergency contact when she went off to college. I thought that would be my time, to see her, but the restraining order still remained and there was nothing for me to do."

"Couldn't you have met her at her college, no one would have known." Quinn inquired. It wasn't an accusation, just curiosity.

"You don't understand how out of the loop I was Quinn, or how scared I was of getting caught and losing any chance of regain some sort of custody over you. I had no clue where Frannie ended up going to school. I still don't."

"Penn State."

"What?"

"The Pennsylvania State University; that is where she went. She was going to be come a speech pathologist."

Judy felt herself fill with pride. Her Frannie had been going to one of the best university's in the country, majoring in career that was very difficult to get into. "She would have been great at it."

"Yeah." Quinn smiled. They sat a moment revealing in their pride of Frannie before Judy forced herself to move on. "I didn't understand why she didn't contact me then, I feared it was because she hated me, but the little I saw in the journal, it was because she was building up a case against your father and didn't want to jeopardize my ability to gain custody of you by bring me in to early. She feared the risk of being caught as much as I did." It was amazing how much Frannie had thought like Judy, how they'd both been biding their time, thinking they had some much when in actuality they had very little.

"I receive the call about the car accident because like I said I was her emergency contact. When I got to the hospital it was too late." Tear flowed freely now, "They took me to the morgue and I had to identify that it was her. I…I still can't get that image out of my mind. No matter how many times I call up the image of your sister in my mind, of her laughing or smiling, even yelling at me, that site sneaks up, it'll never go away."

"I know what you mean. I see hear pale bloody face in my dreams every night." Quinn's voice shook.

"What?" Judy was confused, how could Quinn have seen Frannie, surely Russell didn't take there eight year old to see her dead sister. "How?"

"I was there Judy, I was in the accident." Judy's heart stopped, she hadn't know that. "That's how I broke me leg in two places. I was in surgery when she died, at least I think." Quinn was so quiet.

"No, no I saw your father at the hospital he didn't say anything about you being hurt. He…" Now that Judy thought about it, how had Russell already been at the hospital when Judy had been Frannie's emergency contact. She hadn't even thought about it. But now that she replayed the meeting in her mind, Russell had seemed surprised to be told Frannie was dead, Judy at the time had assumed it was shock or denial, but no he hadn't been told because he'd been called for Quinn, not Frannie. "I can't believe he didn't tell me."

"I'm not. He was so mad at me, he blamed me for her death, I mean it was so that wasn't a big deal."

This caught Judy's attention. "Quinn no, that accident it was not your fault."

Quinn shook her head fervently, "It was. We wouldn't have been in the car if it weren't for me. Russell had gotten really angry at me that day. The night before I asked him why my friend Tristan Willis had two moms. He went ballistic. Hit me so hard, the hardest he had up until that time then he locked me in the closet. The next morning when he went to work Frannie got me out of the closet and she put our things in the car and started to drive to see you. She told me that we were finally going to live with you, that you wanted us. I was so happy and then suddenly the car was flipping and I blacked out, when I came to, we were upside down, my let was caught in between the car and the seat and the dashboard. Frannie was so white and blood was everywhere. I cried for her to wake up but she wouldn't," Quinn was in hysterics as she recounted the horrible accident. Judy began to rock her and kissing her temple trying to calm Quinn down.

Finally Quinn was settled and Judy talked firmly but gently into her ear, "No you hear me and you hear me good Lucy Quinn Fabray." Quinn nodded slightly and Judy continued, "That accident, Frannie's death it was in no way your fault. A truck ran the stoplight and smashed into your car. It was not your fault; it was the other driver's fault. Do you understand me."

"But if I hadn't made Dad mad."

"If he hadn't been abusive to you than Frannie wouldn't have felt the need to get you out and away from him. Honey you can't do this to yourself, we can't play this blame game and what if game. What happened happened and no matter how much we want her to come back to us she can't. All we can do is remember our love for her and her love for us, we can remember her laugh and her smile, we can honor her memory by being together now and being happy. Her death it wasn't either of our faults and the best thing we can do for ourselves and her is to move on and be happy." Quinn didn't respond but Judy felt as though it was finally starting to sink in for Quinn that maybe just maybe Quinn could begin to let the guilt go.

"Are you ready for me to continue."

"Not really but I think its best you do."

"Alright, I love you Quinn always remember that." Quinn snuggled in closer and Judy would accept that for now. "Anyway, after Frannie died, I became very depressed. Your dad still refused me access to you and I felt as if there was no hope left. I began to drink, I spent months drunk; all I did was sleep, eat, and drink. I barely went to work and was eventually fired. It was not the proudest time in my life. I made so many self-deprecating mistakes during that time, including crawling back to your father and trying to get him to take me back. He used me of course and then laughed as he threw me away." Judy held onto Quinn tighter. "Then one day Leroy showed up at me day, gave me the theoretical slap in the face I needed, brought me to Lima, took me to AA, and well it took awhile but I eventually began to heal. When I was sober a year and had a steady job we started appealing for custody every year, and as you can tell we lost every year." That was it; that was her story. It was hard to remember but Judy felt better having finally told Quinn the truth. "I spent every one of my days praying to have you back in my arms and now that I have you I will never ever let go Quinn. No matter how many walls you put up, no matter how many times you push me away, I will be here for you. You are my daughter, the only one I have left and I will do everything and anything in my power to let you know how much you are loved and how much you deserve that love because you Lucy Quinn Fabray are an amazing woman. You are so so strong and brave, you are kind and compassionate, you are smart and creative, and most of all you have so much love to give and you give it without expecting anything in return. Well it is time to start expecting it because it is all you are going to get from now on."

The sudden heaving of Quinn's body against her own alerted Judy to the fact that Quinn was silently crying. "Its alright honey let it out, I'm here." The cries became audible and thought it broke her heart Judy was glad that Quinn finally started release all her pain. Of course when Quinn began to speak as she cried, it was Judy who felt the need to release, not just her pain but her anger. "He never said I love you." Quinn began, "It was always 'you're a disgrace', 'you were a mistake', 'your mother left because of you, she never loved you.' Frannie would tell me that he was lying but then after she died, their was no one to combat his words and I started to believe him."

Quinn seemed to calm just as Judy was about to explode. She pulled away and looked Judy in the eyes. "He was really good at only striking me where my clothes covered. It was usually his belt and his hands but sometimes he used his cigarettes, or he hold my head underwater in the bathtub." Slowly Quinn turned and lifted up her shirt to reveal her back; Judy gasped, the beautiful ivory skin was crisscrossed with thin pearly scars. Judy hesitantly toughed them, she could feel the change from soft smooth skin to slightly raised rough skin. She wanted scream in that moment but she held it in Quinn needed her. Slowly Quinn dropped her shirt back down and turned to face Judy but her head was down, lovingly Judy raised Quinn's chin with fingers so that green met hazel. "I love you and you have nothing to be ashamed of. What he did to you it was wrong and there is no way you deserved this kind of treatment."

"Even if I got a B on a test, or I made his scotch wrong, what about the time I fell asleep and for got to make dinner?" Quinn pleaded.

"No not even then. Quinn you were a child, you're a teenager now, you make mistakes but that is alright; sometimes you'll get punished, like being grounded or have your phone taken away, but violence is never acceptable no matter what."

Quinn sighed and fell into Judy, she was quiet for awhile and Judy thought she was done but then Quinn started again. "Every night I had to kneel for an hour and quote the Bible. I hate the Bible. I hate religion and I feel horrible, like a bad person because I secretly hate God, though when I need him I pray."

"Religion is not what your father forced on you. When your ready we can look for a church or religion that you like and if you find that none of them are right than that is alright too."

"Really?"

"Really." There was a pregnant pause again and Judy rubbed Quinn's arm slowly.

"The closet." Quinn said suddenly.

"What about it?"

"It was his favorite. He'd lock me in there after every punishment. Sometimes for just a few hours but other times…" Quinn trailed off, "I spent two week in there once, just with him giving me food twice a day and taking out the bucket I used to relieve myself once a night." Judy was appalled; no wonder Quinn was claustrophobic. "My summer before freshman year I spent six of the 10 weeks off in that damn closet. I was so thin by the end that I only weight 98 pounds."

Judy did all she could in that moment she hugged her daughter and told her how much she loved her and the two of them cried again until there were no more tears left to shed over Russell Fabray. Dinner was a silent but comfortable affair. Then they watched a light romantic comedy. As Judy tucked Quinn into bed she pushed the bangs from Quinn's forehead, "I think it would be a good idea for you to see someone Quinn."

Quinn sat up quickly, "I'm not crazy."

"I'm not say you are. You are far from. But Quinn what you've been through, how he treated you, it so wrong and I can tell that you still have trouble believing that." The way Quinn looked away was all the answer Quinn needed. "I think it will do you good to talk to someone who knows how to help you. I want you to talk to me too, and I want to help you, but I fear that I can't help you the way you need me too, at least not all the way. Do you understand me?"

Quinn sighed, "I think so."

"I am going to see someone too and maybe we can see someone together, just until we get over this hill?"

Quinn smiled slightly, "I might like that."

"Good." Judy smiled brightly before kissing Quinn goodnight. "I love you."

"I love you too, Judy." Judy's heart jumped at that and as she turned off Quinn's light and watched her daughter sleep in her own bed again Judy felt for the first time in forever that this was the true turn she'd been waiting for, that now she and Quinn could have the relationship they both yearned for.

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